Wilbur scoffed at the threat of the coffin,
But he'd gone to the well much too often.
To be sure, his intentions
Retained giant dimensions,
But his physical portion would soften.
--- Isaac Asimov

There was an old fellow named Skinner,
Whose prick, his wife said, had grown thinner.
But still, by and large,
It would always discharge,
Once he could just get it within her.

(Once firmly implanted within her.)
--- L0233

My mast, which I call my joint,
Has worn to a very sharp point
So it can insert
without any hurt,
Any pussy I choose to anoint.
--- Anon

Said a patient young lovely in Winnipeg,
"My Willie has such a damn skinnipeg...
But there's been certain nights
When it gave sweet delights,
So it's better that not having ANY peg!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 877

A lonely young fellow named Jim
Couldn't get girls to have sex with him;
Although his dong
Was twelve inches long,
Five-eighths of an inch is too slim.
--- Blowcephus TP9802

A boastful young man they called Rick
Said: "I'll show you a fine nine inch prick.
See this one of mine?
Half of eighteen makes nine;
So I fold it, ain't that a trick!"
--- Tiddy Ogg

So I looked at the kid with a frown,
And I told him "You're really a clown.
That's your tie there, you fool.
When you do grow a tool,
It will be quite a bit further down."
--- Tiddy Ogg

Poor men! When the gods would demean us,
They allow, when we meet Venus,
The fount of Love where
There's little to share,
Endowed with a PILIFORM penis.
--- Chris Papa

The problem, of course, is his wick;
By no stretch of mind is it thick.
Even when lit,
It still can't quite fit;
A heftier torch does the trick!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young fellow named Prynne,
Whose prick was so short and so thin,
His wife found she needed
A Fuckoscope--she did--
To see if he'd gotten it in.
--- L0219

He's smaller than what he alleges,
Though he brags to the pretty young pledges.
He claims that his dong
Is thick, long and strong,
But it's more like a Benson and Hedges.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8303

Once a young British Army deserter
Asked his girlfriend if intercourse hurt her.
She replied, "Sometimes, Tommy,
If it's big, like salami,
But not when it's like your frankfurter."
--- G0308

A fellow who lived in Berlin
Had a dick that was long and quite thin.
When he diddled the ladies
Who were carrying babies,
He was blown by the foetus within.
--- Robert Elliot

Said a modest young thing, Marguerite,
Whose charms were both neat and petite,
"Though quite long, your prick is
Not nearly as thick as
The tool of my other friend, Pete."
--- G0401

There once was a freshman named Lynn,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin.
A virgin named Joan,
From a bible-belt home,
Said, "This isn't much of a sin."
--- Anon

This gem, through modestly it hides,
He curls it up in his insides.
But females do not grin,
Despite how far it goes in,
'Cause he's only a centimeter wide!
--- Anon

What? His girlfriend did say,
Put that in my mouth? No! Ixnay!
To pick my teeth good
I'd rather have wood,
So put your wee willy away!
--- Anon

While screwing his sister that night,
Achmed had a bit of a fright.
He thought that he saw
His brother-in-law;
It stayed in, but not nearly as tight.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0306

There was a young man from Berlin,
Had a prick most exceedingly thin.
With this long slender peter,
He could screw an ureter,
If only he know how to get in.
--- G0253

There was a young man of Fall River,
Whose tool was a thin as a sliver.
It would dart in and out
Like a speckled brook trout,
But the scales always made the girls shiver.
--- G0326

Ingenious a fellow named Hubbell
Who well knew the heartbreak of trouble.
When his prick got so thin
That it wouldn't stay in,
He bent it and stuck it in double.
--- Armand E Singer 516

Beide kurz und zu schmerzlos -- das bin ich,
As I'm told by a maiden that's Finnish;
She likes wangers that wince
Till her eyes up and squints,
While mine is both klein and zu thin-ish.
--- Hugh Clary

His pecker was the size of a pencil;
"No 2" on it he'd stencil.
But it was kinda handy,
You could even say dandy;
It doubled as tooth picking utensil.
--- Anon

There once was a man name of Ballion
Whose pecker was shaped like a scallion.
He said to Miss Mole,
With her quarter inch hole,
At last I've a place I can dally in.
--- Little Potts P8604

Beloved bouncy bottoms so sweet,
How I long for the day when we meet,
Taking turns overlap
For hand paddle and strap,
Till we both are ablaze with the heat.
--- Rosy B Goode

Algolagniac roues from Leeds
Do indulge in the queerest of deeds.
They lay on with quirts
Till blood flows in squirts,
To satisfy deep-seated needs.

(algolagnia - finding sexual pleasure inflicting pain)
--- Armand E Singer 73

"Come here and say that!" she said,
Then she bonked him right upside his head.
He turned a quick stare,
Then made her butt bare,
And spanked her and put her to bed.
--- Robert Bowden

Wee leprechaun Willy O'Mix
Met Deborah Dominatrix;
She beat without mercy
His poor little percy,
With twiglets and willowy stix.
--- Anon

That is quite a mouthful you're bleating,
And methinks you are ripe for a beating.
But here in my house
If my husband, the louse,
Agreed, he would go without eating!
--- Anon

Why is that whip in your closet?
My suspicions it does sure posit.
Preferred in black leather
I'd like to know whether
The tip's single or really composite.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Jemima, for mumbling her name,
Had her bottom well-spanked with a cane.
She thought it quite good
To be misunderstood,
If it meant getting more of the same.
--- C M

A sweet little angel called Beck
Was guilty of bouncing a Check.
Panties down all the way,
Kicking wildly away;
Would she do it again? In a sec.
--- Robert Bowden

Since we both seem to share the same itches,
I consider it bounteous riches,
When I think of what she
Will be owing me,
I thank heaven that we are both switches!
--- Rosy B Goode

This is file tol

Her bottom was craving some heat,
So she set out to get her butt beat.
But she found out that fire
Would come from his ire;
Now she can't even sit on her seat.
--- Robert Bowden

My lithe lovely lascivious lady,
Who I'm planning to take somewhere shady,
With a nice alder switch,
I'll make her sweet buns twitch
By the cold water bubbling cascady.
--- Rosy B Goode

A sweet little Miss known as Patti
Was acting perplexed and quite scatty.
She couldn't keep straight
When she's due from her date,
So she got a good spanking from daddy.
--- D A Landhill

A naughty young girl is our Jane;
She went parking in a dark lover's lane.
When home she returned,
She found that she'd earned
A date with the hairbrush and cane.
--- D A Landhill

Cranky and crabby she was.
When asked why, she said, "Just because."
So her panties were dropped
And her bare bottom popped,
Till a climax retracted her claws.
--- Robert Bowden

Rectal hygiene is easy.
Try S&M if you are queasy.
If you get in a rut,
Let a Dom spank your butt.
Sometimes it does pay to be sleazy.
--- Christopher

Now, ahem, to the business at hand
(My recovery was wonderfully grand)
Just took me a minute
To get right back in it
But more "torture" I think I could stand
--- Anon

But dear, what should next be my dream?
My fantasy's fulfilled it seems...
But I'm just growing hotter...
It seems that we oughter
Get back into this...have some cream.
--- Anon

The red satin sheets are all wet now
But that it is no bother my pet, now
It's my turn to cuff you;
If you've had enough, you
Have only to yell out, OH WOW!;)
--- Anon

Strapped down to the bed, can't you move?
Oh, poor baby, your fears I will soothe
With a lick, and a kiss
Oh my darling, won't miss
An inch of you! First I'll remove...
--- Anon

...That black leather g-string, for heat...
I think that I might use my teeth
And the tip of my tongue
I think that will be fun
And then I'll take a taste of your meat!
--- Anon

But just that...the anticipation
Will make for the better erection
A flick of the tongue
On your nipple, oh come
And let's disuade your fears of rejection!
--- Anon

Now back to your penis I go
It's hard as a rock now, and so
Put it in my mouth
Makes me so hot down south
Back to your torso I go
--- Anon

But further to your face;
I hope you won't think it disgrace-
Ful; Open wide --
Time for tasting my thigh,
And where it joins pussy and lace.
--- Anon

I'm straddling you, now I'm taking
My panties off...dear, are you quaking?
Now I bring down my cunt
To your lips, your tongue hunts
For my clitoris...FUN in the making!
--- Anon

Eating pussy gives courage to Skip
So when feeling his nerve start to slip
He dives for the pearl
Of the nearest young girl
And returns with a stiff upper lip.
--- Anon

Ah, the bliss of an evening well spent;
How I hope that your tool is not bent!
For a little bit later
My sweet alligator
If you're not too tired, we'll rent...
--- Anon

...A movie or two to our liking;
The bed and the sheets so inviting
After all of this rhyme
Dear, it's cuddling time
Then back to our hot, sexy writing!
--- Anon

How I cherish my little spankbunny,
Who is making my insides feel funny,
As she leads me to guess,
Oh dear, I confess,
That her tongue can turn flesh into honey.
--- Rosy B Goode

Naughty Lucy will stand in her room
Looking into a dark corner's gloom,
And her seat will remind her
Of what is behind her:
A lesson in cleaning her room.
--- D A Landhill

Why is that whip in your closet?
A new sexual bridge? Shall I cross it?
I want something new
For my pleasure, it's true.
But if that's your best offer, I'll toss it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I ordered Miss Sherrie to strip
And receive several strokes of my whip.
But while doffing her scanties
She stopped short of her panties;
I was lost -- for she gave me the slip.
--- D A Landhill

My friend John's a respectable banker
But he's gnawed by desires like a canker.
"A girl there should be
To take over my knee,
Where I'd pull down her panties and spank her."
--- D A Landhill

It causes me greatly to squirm,
When I think of her buns cute and firm,
Bouncing under my hand
While she feels really grand
As her squeals and her wiggles affirm.
--- Rosy B Goode

There once was a girl from Seattle
Who loved to be spanked with a paddle.
She'd jiggle her rump
In hopes of a thump,
And prayed that her son wouldn't tattle.
--- Anon

I hope that this type of love making
Does not turn you off, I'm forsaking
My normal conserv-
Ative nature, I'm sure
But it's all in the fun of the quaking!
--- Anon

I get hot just thinking of handcuffs;
And being tied down, it's so rough!
Be gentle my dear
But if you'll spank my rear,
You'll have a faceful of pussy and cunt-fluff.
--- Anon

Just hit me and I will behave
Like your very own toilet slave.
I'll be your bidet,
You command, I'll spray.
I'll help you stay clean, fresh and save.
--- Anon

Please whip me and flay me and flog
And call me a shit-eating dog,
With piss for a brain.
When you pull my chain,
I'll jump up and give you a snog...
--- Anon

But turning to my dreams of late,
One thing puts me into a state.
Though I'm not one for pain,
I'll come again and again
With a little love-smack from my mate!
--- Anon

There was a young schoolboy named Wayne,
Who cried buckets if he got the cane.
With his hand looking red,
He went to dad and said,
"I've got a low threshold for pain."
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Said the leatherman to his admirer,
My last partner, I had to fire her.
I asked, "Take off you hood."
But it did me no good,
For I found I'd no longer desire her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a nasty old fart,
Who thought paddling women an art.
He was right on, of course,
And he felt no remorse
For the bottoms he'd paddled right smart.
--- Robert Bowden