"When I were a youngster," said Fred,
"I lived with me ma in a shed;
I didn't have shoes,
For me Ma loved her booze,
And we lived on a diet of bread."
--- Peter Wilkins

"When I were a youngster," said Bert,
"I dint have no trousers nor shirt;
Just rags, 'pon my soul;
And for food, just a bowl
Of old road-kill, raw nettles and dirt."
--- Peter Wilkins

"When I were a youngster," said Pete,
"Raw nettles and dirt were a treat;
We lived in a hole
What we dug in some coal
And for warmth shared a shred of old sheet."
--- Peter Wilkins

"When I were a youngster," said Kate,
"There was never food on my plate.
Nutritional nibblings
Were chunks of my siblings,
So none of them gained any weight."
--- Ward Hardman

"When I was young," said sweet Nettie,
"I longed for meals of spaghetti.
But the best I could do
Was the 'Paris Review,'
Chewed into heaps of confetti."
--- Ward Hardman

This Villa belongs to one Helen;
It isn't exactly her dwellin';
But her dolls are inside
And her joy and her pride
Is in tending the children of Helen.
--- Rudyard Kipling P8903

A teacher of tots at Eutoxeter,
Who chucked their constructional blocks at her,
Was thinking, "Aggression
Is just self-expression",
When a volley of paperback Spocks hit her.
--- Kate McPower

I sent my son out for some bread,
Milk, spuds, and a jar of bread spread.
That was five years or more...
He just walked in the door,
With these and a woman he wed.
--- Pilar

Four toddlers were standing nearby,
The oldest being only so high:
Mom's tummy still swollen
From sweet moments stolen.
Now, Son... Time to zip up that fly.
--- Pilar

Said Johnny to Mary, "You flaunt it
And tease me and tickle and taunt. It
Is causing more strain
Than that time with Aunt Jane;
Now I want what I want when I want it.
--- John Miller

Though you're welcome to fondle and pet it,
And learn how to please me and wet it,
She said with a smirk,
You'll just have to jerk.
You'll get what I've got when I get it.
--- John Miller

Lttle Willy is writing a text
Which has feminists everywhere vexed.
The cover's a beaut!
And Willy's real cute!
One might think that our boy's oversexed.
--- John Miller

Old Willie was then heard to snicker,
"I'd eat her, but that would be sicker
Than when I was young
And much better hung,
And longer, and harder, and thicker."
--- Randog

Little Willy had lived in the south
Of England, where custom allow'th
Their kids cunnilingus
So, stroking his dingus,
Young Willy got down in the mouth.
--- Randog

Little Willy attached to a frog,
Who was perched like a bump on a log,
A dynamite stick,
But the fuse was too quick;
Now Willy's a lump in the bog.
--- Hugh Clary

Now would you please Clary-fy
How fares that amphibian guy?
When blown willy-nilly
From pads of a lily,
Is staying alive, pie in the sky?
--- Randog

Now maybe you think this is silly,
But I don't admire Little Willie.
When he nailed his sister,
He messed up her blister,
And now she treats me rather chilly.
--- John Miller

Willie treats girls like a brother,
Says, "I save what I have for another."
He loves now, instead,
A lady long dead --
In fact, Willie still loves his mother.
--- John Miller

Willie's slowed down some with age,
But still finds good ways to enrage;
Refusing to die
Saying "Foley and I
Are usually on the same page."

(Republican scandal 2006)
--- John Miller

Willie and Fido once tangled;
You'd think it was Willie got mangled --
But Fido caught rabies
And won't beget babies;
Willie bit off his bits where they dangled.
--- John Miller

You'd think consequences were dire,
When Willie kept playing with fire.
But it's a no-brainer,
He's on a retainer;
The mob pays him not to retire.
--- John Miller

Now Willie's one hundred and four,
But still plays around with a whore,
Who is said to have said,
"After Willie give head,
The younger ones all tend to bore."
--- John Miller

Little Willy, his eye out for gore,
Nailed Sister right onto the floor.
"Don't mar the paint!"
With wry humor quaint,
His mother yelled in from the door.
--- John Miller

Dear Willy (who's far from a saint)
With mum and sis showed no restraint.
He buggered his sibling
Then, oozing and dribbling,
Jacked off on his mom's frothy taint.
--- Randog

Old Willie need not get much thickerer,
As long as he's managed to liquor her
Up under the premise,
His undersized stem is
Prepared to go roger her quickerer.
--- Randog

Young Willy, with ruffles so frilly,
Fell into the fireplace, the silly.
Though the room has grown cold,
I haven't, be told,
The heart to now poke up poor Willy.
--- Hugh Clary

Little Willy pushed sister Nell
Right into our one drinking well.
Still there 'cause it kilt 'er,
Now we use a filter,
And hope one day soon we can sell.
--- John Miller

"Curiosity never quite pays."
I wish Willie had heard of this phrase.
'Cause he dynamite found.
And whirled it around:
It rained Willie for seven days.
--- Hugh Clary

Little Willy, when just turning nine,
Got into his grandfather's wine.
His mom yelled, "You're plastered!
You damn little bastard!
Go out now and sleep with the swine!"
--- John Miller

Willie's a bit of antique;
His antics trend mostly to cheek.
If we had him today,
Most people might say,
That his life-style is really "tres chic."
--- Anon

His mother, at first, grew perplexed,
But soon became angered and vexed;
Willie poisoned the tea
Of his Father, you see,
And his Mama said, "Now Will, what's next?"
--- Hugh Clary

As Willie grew old he got wickeder.
His landlady gave him a quickie dur-
Ing lunch 'til curtailed
When she was impaled
With verve as he thrust a sharp stick at her.
--- Randog

Those youngsters not out of their teens,
Are impatient of lectures by Deans,
On restraining desires
And banking the fires,
That burn in their skirts and their jeans.
--- G0198

This is file lik

They go on exerting their wills,
They use neither condoms nor Pills,
They does what they pleases,
Catch ghastly diseases,
And their poor parents pick up the bills.
--- G0199

I can't stop laughing to find
That the "experts" can just be so blind.
Are they really perplexed
That young boys are not vexed
By adventures of sexual kind?
--- John Miller

Abuse of this type makes me laugh;
I'd give them some practical math;
When I was thirteen,
I'd thoght it real keen
To lay a girl my age plus half.
--- John Miller

A scoutmaster who was named Foggle
Adjusted a young boy scout's woggle.
Then with dib and a dob,
And a bob for the job,
Did something which makes the mind boggle.
--- Donald McGill

I was instantly hot for Maxine,
The sight of her brought thoughts obscene.
Her curvaceous bod
Stiffened my rod;
I almost shot cream in my jeans.
--- Gearhart

This was when I was sixteen;
To look back, it all seems a dream.
The night on the hill
In my Coupe DeVille,
With Maxine the Backseat Queen.
--- Gearhart

Fifteen is too young to be Dad,
Much less with a big strapping lad
Who can measure his dick
With a folding yardstick,
And too dumb to even get mad.
--- Anon

The passage from youth to senescence
Involves a disturbing decrescence
Of youthful virility
And blooming nubility
That characterize adolescence.
--- R J Winkler P8502

A tenderfoot gave me some sass;
As Scoutmaster, that burned my ass.
That night in my tent
I made him repent,
And found he was truly First Class.

When young I went scouting in Kent;
With my troop I lay down in a tent.
Our hormones caused bones
Causing synchronous moans,
As we waggled our woggles and spent.
--- Peter Wilkins

I remember this boy in my troop;
With his woggle he'd stir up the soup.
If his face went all dreamy,
'Twas sure to be creamy.
We forced him to drink every droop.
--- Frank

In London, a former Boy Scout
Supposed he'd appeared so devout.
He figured he'd save
Only Cheerful and Brave;
And Trustworthy, et al., leave out.
--- Tubby Bubba

I guess nature's joke is on us;
At 13 we're ready to bust;
At 16 we'd love
To slip on a glove,
And give those tight pussies a thrust.
--- Anon

Her age just may not be true
But what are we all to do?
She just turned eighteen,
But you know what I mean
When I say she looks thirty two.
--- Anon

A delinquent at twelve, this teenager
Had faults (none were minor) all major.
She stole and she lied,
And she did matricide,
And rather than change her, I'd cage her.
--- Al Willis P9601

For money and sex, God be thanked!
But neither should be overranked.
Adolescent desires
For both are twin fires,
And each must be carefully banked.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

A protesting teen-ager, Kay,
Joined a crowd one cold winter's day.
She chanted out loud
With the antiwar crowd,
Until she got carried away.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims

A fourteen-year-old, name of P.D.,
Kept his room so incredibly seedy,
Stroke-books on the floor;
There were roaches galore,
And walls with obscene graffiti.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8502

If for finely formed phrases we hunt
To describe states in life we confront,
eg., adolescence,
That time of pubescence,
We simply could call 'down in front'.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9104

There was a young boy from Thorpe School
Who had ears on his head like a mule.
As he turned them to listen,
Not one thing he was missin'.
That boy from Thorpe School was no fool.
--- Archie

I remember the uniform hampering,
Those rascally boys who went scampering.
They risked quite a cloutin'
When they tried to go scoutin'
'Cross the valley to girls who were campering.
--- Anon

When our very first hormone is born;
With our acne and pimples--forlorn;
And our first pubic hair
But with no one to share;
How the days of our youth hurry on.
--- Irving Superior P9607

Your flowing brown hair, soft and sweet;
So long that is touches your feet.
My love should be told,
For you're getting old,
And fourteen is really quite neat.
--- Gearhart

To live through the years of your teens,
Is really what growing up means.
To get that A-cup,
And then fill it up.
Or know what's arise in your jeans.
--- Larry Davis P8502

The Squire of Castle Dunfuddy
Spent most of his time in the study
Of lusty young boys,
As they savored the joys
Of getting their trousers all muddy.
--- Norm Storer P9812

Farewell, adolescent virility,
Attracted by blushing nubility!
Now find your content
In years that were spent
Forstalling impending senility.
--- R J Winkler P8502

Remember your teens when you thought ya'
Were getting your leg over? Torture,
Instead of relief,
Caused testicular grief,
When her father came in and said, "Caught ya!"
--- Peter Wilkins

Some crudulous chronicles tell us
Of a very tall youngster named Ellis.
Whose Pa said, "Ma-ri-er,
If Bubb grows much higher,
He'll have to be trained up a trellis."
--- James Whitcomb Riley

While watching the school play rehearsed
The boy told an eighth grader named Wurst,
"When I stop hating girls,
I'm certain that Pearl's
The one that I'll stop hating first."
--- A N Wilkins P8502

"I don't like to go out with Ted,"
The attractive young teenager said.
"I knew from the start
That the fellow was smart,
But he's let his brains go to his head.
--- A N Wilkins P8502

When younger and still in my teens,
I had permanent tightness of jeans;
And though frequently lazy,
My hormones went crazy
For girlies. (You know what I means.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At fifteen no longer a child,
His responses are no longer mild.
A glance from an eye
Or a glimpse of a thigh
Can well drive a young fellow wild.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

When Carol was told about sex,
She said, "Mama, it sound so complex.
Do you mean you and father
Went through all that bother,
And I'm just the after-effects?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 342 G1718