As we talked at last night's dinner table,
I queried my daughter named Mable.
"Please kindly tell me
What is meant by BC!"
She said "Dad, that was life Before Cable."
--- Tom Patton P9602

There was an old man in a Speedo;
He's trying to be incognito.
He was not succeeding,
The neighbors were pleading,
"Will you please put on your tuxedo?"
--- Denise Sjokoladeis

This Denise is only fourteen;
For some comments, she is quite keen.
The things that you say
I'll pass on today.
Whatever you say, keep it clean.
--- Denise Sjokoladeis

All dads think their daughters are cute;
Any contrary thoughts, they file suit.
It's not she's not clever,
The fact is however,
Not one other dad gives a hoot.
--- S C Saint

Lolita, delinquent supreme,
What every old man hopes to dream.
Both buxom and soft
With parts held aloft,
That pressure the mid-zipper seam.
--- Irving Superior P9601

"It was love at first sight," explained May,
"Or at least so I thought till the next day
When I learned from My dad
That my parents were glad
And had no real objections to Ray."
--- A N Wilkins P8405

"Do you really believe," inquired Fay,
"In love at first sight?" "I should say!"
The teenager replied
To her girlfriend and sighed,
"It happens to me every day."
--- A N Wilkins P8405

At school with my sums, I excelled;
All the competition I felled.
But was mad on the boys
And played with their toys,
And for this indiscretion, expelled!
--- Michelle

Just what is this menstrual blather?
Menarche's upon Archie I gather.
I would not have foreseen
Arch a girlish pre-teen,
But a subject quite different, I'd rather.
--- Tutta Gioia

When in gangs, these teenagers go ape.
They rob and they pillage and rape.
Their minds are unglued,
And I must conclude
That I'd much rather live with an ape.
--- Al Willis P9601

A gang leader, a budding young hood,
Was released by Judge Dooby DoGood,
Who said, "Robberies and lootings
And alleged drive-by shootings
Simply mean that you're misunderstood."
--- William N Nesbit P9512

How I wish I could be seventeen.
I could act so amazingly mean!
I could murder and rape,
And get out of the scrape,
With no limit to venting my spleen!!!

(can not execute below eighteen when crime committed)
--- Anon

To the whole TV bit, you should listen,
Absorbing those parts that you're missin'.
'Til the last of my breath?
I'd prefer a quick death
To all of my life spent in prison.
--- Cyber Wizard

But listen some MORE, Cybe old sport:
In Texas I have to report
Though we kill 'em with ease,
"Life," if you please,
Is fifty-some-years too damn short.
--- Anon

After 40 you're up for parole;
If I'd murdered a certain asshole
As I wished at the time,
I'd have paid for my crime,
Then done in his sons -- Oh! how droll!
--- Anon

But at that young age, seventeen,
I never was violent or mean
But had I been caught
With above asshole's daught-
Ers ... I'd never again have been seen!
--- Anon

A boy who brought back his report,
Heard his fathere emit a great snort.
"What's this--Doesn't try?"
Said the boy with a sigh,
"I do try, Dad,--not to get caught!"
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

I remember when I was fifteen,
I was shaving a beard none had seen.
I practiced my dimples,
I glared at my pimples,
And the thoughts in my head were obscene.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

There was a young boy named O'Toole,
Who seldom came home, as a rule.
He was not a bad lad,
But he made his dad mad,
When he only stopped in to refuel.
--- Observer

The parents who often are seen
By kids, at the age of thirteen,
As hopelessly dense,
Do seem to make sense
When kids have completed nineteen.
--- R J Winkler P8502

Adolescence is essence commences
Bombarded by all of its senses,
By mom's common sense,
By sexual scents,
And by peer-group high-pressure consensus.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

Sweet young Andrew had one or two faults
Such as vile things he pickled in salts.
But one day, in a jar,
That child took things too far,
For the vileness was great-granny Holtz.
--- David A Brooks Q

"You're not the first girl I've kissed, Sue,"
He told her with little ado.
"You surely don't think
I'm the kind of a fink
Who would actually practice on you."
--- A N Wilkins P8502

Said a bright young teenager from Texas,
"I'm certainly glad there's two sexes.
For fucking's a pleasure
That boys and girls treasure;
It prevents all those Freudian complexes."
--- Grand Prix Lim 141 G0201

There was a young boy from Thorpe School
Who pinged pellets of ink with his rule,
But Oh! Such disaster,
He was caught by a master,
And got six of the best after school!
--- Archie

A teen-aged son of two physicians
Always slept in the prone positions.
And when asked why,
He said, rather shy,
"My secret's nocturnal emissions."
--- Tom Patton P9902

There was a young lady from Queens,
Who still in the blush of her teens,
Developed a range
Of behavior so strange,
It stirred rumors of recessive genes.
--- John Ciardi

Now how the Hell'd they get in here?
These youngsters, who rhyme kind of queer,
And think they know scads,
Even though they're just lads --
Did the schools let out early this year?
--- Anon

At 18 want it several times daily;
We stay up late often to pray, we
Will find some fine chick
Who wants our dick,
As often as we'd like to spray thee.
--- Anon

Ghetto kids greet each other, "Ho brother.
Man, you sure be on real ugly mother."
They do petty crime
And spend all their time
Shooting heroin, fouls, and each other.

--- Arthur Deex P9601

He was fifteen perhaps, hardly older,
But needed to be somewhat bolder
To do what he dreamt:
To make the attempt
To let his arm rest on her shoulder.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

A rebellious young student from Boulder,
Rejected the facts that they told her.
When taking exams,
She told them to jam
The stuff up all the way to their shoulder.
--- Mike O'Conner

I remember my hot kissin' cousin;
Both thirteen, and our hormones were buzzin';
"Lemme have a look-see,
And I'll let you see me!"
(Joy-box hairs only numbered a dozen.)
--- Anon

This is file lhk

I spent all my youth in just beeing,
And checking the flowers I was seeing;
A-poking my pecker
(A good hymen wrecker)
And then from their fathers a-fleeing!
--- Anon

My youth was an island I passed
While climbing the length of the mast
Of love and desire.
And as I drew higher,
Gazillions of islands! Avast!
--- Anon

There once was a banker named Powers
Who gave his teen daughter the glowers
When she put on a tank
Top lettered "SPERM BANK --
Deposits Accepted All Hours."
--- P8503a

A teenager knows of the uses
Of sex and should make no excuses.
But when girls start their menses,
The boys lose their senses.
"Adolescence" means "stew in one's juices."
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

There was a young boy from Thorpe School
Who stood on his head on a stool.
The silly young fat head
Has now got a flat head,
And is two inches shorter, poor fool.
--- Mrs Hale

A naive teenager, Miss Lewis,
Asked: "What is it fellows do to us
That makes babies come--
Or am I just being dumb?"
Her sister's reply was, "They screw us!"
--- G1680

Little boys are oft bunches of trouble;
They fight and bite and play in rubble.
They're cute and they're fun
And they like to run.
And as they grow, the trouble will double.
--- Alicia McIntire

Oh, I never will part from sweet Lee;
He's as sweet as a young boy could be.
He makes my parts fizz,
With his virile young jizz,
When I bounce up and down on his knee.
--- Anon

"Of late," a teenager named Dee,
Said, "I'm happy as ever could be,
But I really don't know,"
She tole her friend Flo,
"If it's vitamins or if it is me."
--- A N Wilkins P8502

Many kids on our block formed a gang.
For the law, they just don't give a dang.
They rob and they pillage
The streets of our village,
And who knows what they do with their wang.
--- Thomas Patton P9601

A teen-ager who goes on vacation,
Looks for a fresh destination.
He/she wants sunshine bright,
And excitement at night;
Enjoyment without any cessation!!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

A delinquent, today, is defined
As a waif to whom life was unkind.
But now, won't you agree,
That the problem might be
That no one ever warmed his behind.
--- William N Nesbit P9601

Then Wendy to Peter Pan said,
"The children should now be in bed.
And don't tell them they
Can just fly away.
Pete, that's how delinquency's spread."
--- Irving Superior P9601

I suppose that the satirist Juvenal
Must sometimes in his life have been juvenile,
Engaged in unsavory
Adolescent behavery,
But could he have ever been puerile?
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

Roxanne was my first teen-age tryst.
We kissed and we kissed and we kissed,
Till panties were sticky
And boxers were icky,
And water formed foam when I pissed.
--- H Welchel

If knowing then what I know now,
My memories much more would allow.
I'd lick her sweet twat,
And then, you know what,
And right through her cherry I'd plow.
--- H Welchel

Our Scoutmaster said (this is true):
"As chivalrous lads, this you'll do;
A whore in your clutches,
You treat like a duchess;
A duchess, you treat like a who?"
--- Anon

It's not the three boys who cause worry.
The oldest, a girl, seems to flurry,
And flutter and SNEAK.
The havoc she'll wreak.
Hold her down, tape her mouth, and hurry.
--- Anon

Recalling the age of pubescence,
With easy and frequent tumescence,
Impels me to query,
As toward old age I hurry,
Why is youth wasted on adolescents?
--- E E Potts P8502

I'm a frog anad you may hear reports,
That I have been guilty of torts.
And if you'll be my bride,
All my gold, I'll divide.
But you must accept all my warts.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old fellow named Doak,
Who swallowed a frog as a joke.
His wife gave his back
A thunderous whack
'Cause she was afraid he would croak.
--- Observer

A retired metal-worker named Noades
Used to solve little problems for toads,
Like where to jump next,
Or a hard Latin text,
Or how to avoid major roads.
--- Michael Palin

If you're hunting a young axolotl,
I'll tell you what any Scot'll.
Take a bottle of whis-
Key, tip it down your gizz-
Ard and then hit it hard with the bottle.
--- Anon

When a bullfrog stopped croaking to sing
A rich aria welcoming spring,
His friends said, "Are you mad?
Stop that noise! It's so bad!"
He replied, "I'm just doing my thing!"
--- Deboroni

A Canadian bullfrog, by God,
Had his eye on a beautiful cod.
But she would not console
This lonely tadpole;
Now he's toad-ally de-fishient, poor sod.
--- Ericka

Graeme Sawyer in Queensland has said,
"Our new Toadjus has brewed too much head!
And blown up some shops
From excessive hops...
So we'll use platypusses instead.

(Liquid fertilizer from cane toads exploding in storage)
--- David Miller

Bizarre critter-mixtures of goo
Require a component review.
If toads blow their top,
And platypi pop,
'Tis better to use kangaroo.
--- Randog

While exploring the shoreline of Libya,
I was chased by a pair of amphibia;
They were hot in pursuit
When I fell on my snoot,
And one of them chewed off a tibia.
--- Lims Unlimited

I took some jars down to the bogs
And caught a bunch of pollywogs.
Kiss one, it's a cinch
It'll be a handsome prince.
Better by far -- leave them in the jar.

I'd rather meet some croaking frogs.
--- Lynn Skywriter P0205

A kitten's mew couldn't be truer;
'Twas trapped in a vent pipe. No fewer
Than firefighters three
Came to get kitty free,
But a cuban tree frog was the mewer.
--- Prof M-G

I once knew a young girl from France,
Who taught little frogs how to dance.
If one went astray,
He was dinner next day;
Her agility 'twas said to enhance.
--- Funny Bone

Animal experiments are very cruel;
I hated cutting frogs up in school.
If first cooked, they had been,
I would have licked my plate clean,
Instead of put them in the pool.
--- Hugh Clary

A bio prof, seeing a toad
That he thought was a rare "Double toed,"
Swerved and braked to avoid it,
Was too late, and destroyed it
And his car, which he had to have towed.
--- John Sandler P9112

I'm sitting here stuck on the road;
Would not have been here if I'd knowed
A train would come through
And stop traffic, too.
I stopped for an endangered toad!
--- Anon