There once was a big ugly toad,
Who was sitting on the side of the road.
He baked in the sun,
Not hurting anyone,
Until the heat made him explode.
--- Anon

A frog who turned into a prince
Has regretted it ever since,
'Cause he missed the bogs
And his family of frogs,
And especially their moist slimy skins.
--- Anon

This Christmas we found a Yule Log
On which there was sitting a frog.
He turned into a prince --
We've not seen him since --
Mind you, we've not looked in the bog.
--- Bill Wall

An erotophile named Young
Said "This fellow deserves to be hung!
He's followed the pattern
Of writing in Latin --
I thought French was the vulgar tongue!"
--- Don Laycock P8811

The frogs, salamanders, and toads
Are facing some very rough roads.
In fact, the Caribbean's
Near void of amphibians.
They're dropping in buckets and loads!
--- Scott Oliver Q

One poison, one Darwin's, two golden...
They've give up, their hands they are foldin'.
The Harlequin, too.
I guess I'll go screw
Big lizards -- I've got me a cold 'un!
--- Q

I have a frog who is named Sprocket;
Right now, he'll fit in my pocket.
But give him a year,
He'll grow like a deer,
And be bigger than a military rocket.
--- Anon

There once was a lazy green frog
Who rode on the back of a dog.
But the dog wasn't big,
So he moved to a pig,
And that's how he went the whole hog.
--- Anon

There once was aa boy who loved frogs;
He trained them as others do dogs.
They'd 'sit' and they'd 'fetch'
But they made the girls wretch,
So he let them all go in the bogs.
--- Old Gal

A fat man whose surname was Hoad,
Faintly resembled a toad.
As he squatted down,
He said with a frown:
"I'm in my amphibian mode."
--- William K Alsop Jr

A polliwog grew into a frog,
And was sunning one day on a log,
When a frisbee flew by,
Which he nailed on the fly,
And a legend was born in the bog.
--- Johnny Hart in BC P0209

If you're comfortable living on land,
Walk on feet, breathe the atmosphere, and
Under water, breathe too
(Absorb oxygen), you
Are amphibious. Ain't Nature grand?
--- Sheila B

No matter how much you may goad,
I refuse to dissect a live toad.
No ifs ands or buts,
I don't have the guts,
And that is the end of this ode.
--- Al Willis

Before an egg becomes tadpole,
One might change direction of whole
By gently scratching
Ere it goes hatching,
And make nueropore the ah...soul.
--- Daniel Ford

Your gift was quite timely, indeed,
For another frog's just what we need.
We only had four,
There's room for one more,
Though it is one more mouth we must feed.
--- Anon

A fat little frog in the Shreen
Was colored bright orange, not green.
When the frog prince asked why,
He just blinked his frog eye,
And said, "Man. I just like to be seen."
--- Jane Flynn

POLLIWOG's kind of cute, I confess,
As a pet; had my doubts nonetheless.
At my child's insistence
I lost my resistance.
It turned into toadal success!
--- Observer

Anphibian larva, POLLIWOG,
As herptologists chronolog,
Will be frog or toad,
Unless on the road,
They become some crane's food catalog.
--- Daniel Ford

A sailor besotted with grog
Beheld in a stream POLLIWOG.
"That Princess, I'll kiss her,
Because if I miss her,
She'll change to an ugly old frog."
--- Chris Papa

Of weighty importance and heft,
Is mountain man's advice, quick and deft;
After the game you shoot,
Beware the stew with newt,
For deadly the poison from red eft.
--- Daniel Ford

I once was a little bit higher,
'Til shrunk by a spell by the sire.
So now I'm a toad
And squashed on the road,
From here all the way to Hillshire.
--- Peter Wilkins

Thought a tadpole of upper Temagami,
"I foresee even less than monogamy,
'Cause I hear that the male
Must surrender his tail --
Which will not make a lusty good formami."
--- Keith MacMillan 72a

In the Spring our frogs mate in the swamp
With abandon, not decorous pomp.
Like ducks they do quack;
No passion they lack.
Waters roll as they boogie and romp.
--- Swamp Duffy

When searching for animals three-toed,
No dictionary ever says "See Toad."
But I saw, on a road
Once, a squashed three-toed toad,
And I stopped and a damned cop had me-towed.
--- Theo Heller P9112

On a lily pad, massive in size,
Sat a bullfrog with great bulging eyes,
And he croaked to his brood,
As they gulped down their food,
"Time is fun when you're having such flies."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9709

Fred was a lucky old toad;
Merrily hopped down the road.
But an ice cream truck
Stole all his good luck,
And now he is toad a-la-mode!
--- Elizabeth Hunter TP9802

Now I have sent you a watch-frog;
He's nice and he lived in a bog.
Eats spiders and flies,
But never french fries.
He croaks when he sees a dog.
--- Archie

Goody! A watchfrog for free!
This sweet green watchfroggie could be
A prince in disguise,
But as he eats flies,
He won't get his kisses from me.
--- Marlene Lewis

Two monkeys discussed in detail
The beauties of having a tail --
So slim and prehensile,
So strong and so tensile!
"Thereby," observed one, "hangs a tale."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

A barber who lived in Belgravia,
Well known for his faultless behaviour,
Remarked to a baboon,
Who came in his saloon,
"Do sit down, but I'm damned if I'll shave ya."
--- Anon

A baboon met on night on a date
The gorilla his dreams -- it was great!
He went ape at the sight,
'Cause he knew that she might
Be the one he would call his prime mate.
--- Kirk Miller

The baboon, the old red-bottom goon,
Is as mad as a coot in mid-June.
He's grumblingly grumpy
And cravenly jumpy;
Shout Boo! and he'll fall in a swoon.
--- David A Brooks Q

The ape that is called the baboon
Is hairy, and sings out of tune.
He's not very tall;
His legs are quite small,
But his arms, they could reach to the moon.
--- Anon

This is file lgk

The Pongos in tropical climes
To troglodyte's genus, at times
Were falsely ascribed
And wrongly described --
An error not found in these rhymes.
--- R J Winkler P8408

There once was a bald gorilla
Who, wrapped up in a furry chinchilla,
Escaped from the zoo
Through a gap in the loo,
And now works in a cafe in Manila.
--- Anon

Beware of the Barbary Ape:
It cleverly makes an escape
When swiping whatever
And seldom, if ever,
Will shrink from a mischievous scrape.
--- R J Winkler P8408

In Kenya there live chimpanzees,
Whose ballocks hang down to their knees,
And their dongs are so long
And so supple and strong,
They can use them to swing through the trees.
--- Michael Horgan

The world's not a safe place, I fear;
There is no escaping, that's clear.
'Twixt political yammers
And lawyers and spammers,
I thought all those suckers were here!

(300 children bitten by blood sucking monkeys, India)
--- John Miller

I asked an orang-otang of it.
He seemed to get such a bang of it.
He said, "You can swing
Through the trees like a king,
When once you have gotten the hang of it."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

Chimpanzees will sometimes devise
A way to get something they prize
Or seem to admire
And greatly desire --
Like humans in pongoid disguise.
--- R J Winkler P8408

Have you heard about old Mr. Craddick,
Who has chimpanzees up in his attic?
From the rafters they swing,
Then they jump through a ring.
Craddick's chimps can be quite acrobatic.
--- Night Lights Fights P9811

Said a fervent young lady of Hammels,
"I object to humanity's trammels!
I want to be free!
Like a bird! Like a bee!
Oh, why am I classed with the mammals!"
--- Morris Bishop

A monkey once said to his mate,
"Except for the kindness of Fate,
We might have been human,
With too much acumen,
To climb in the trees and relate."
--- Limber Limericks

There once was a boy named Gustave,
Who said that a chimp he must have,
But his parents said not,
'Cause they'd already got
All the ape they could take in Gustave.
--- Anon

A monkey once wearied her male
With a long and monotonous tale,
Till the male, by report,
To make a long story short,
Took a cleaver and cut short her tail!
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

In the city of Prague, at the gate
Of a tree house, a monkey will wait
Till her husband appears,
Then she'll swing on his ears
To show how she loves her Czech mate.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

Zoological Samuel Klingers
Has stated, in case doubt still lingers,
"The apes in my charge,
Have nostril so large,
Because they have very fat fingers."
--- Tiddy Ogg

How graceful they seem, and how good,
As they swing through their green neighborhood!
I come, I conceive,
Not from Adam and Eve,
But from Harry and Grace in a wood.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

The gibbon, though somewhat like man,
Belongs to the Pongidae clan:
A tail-less ape
That tries to escape
By swinging through trees if it can.
--- R J Winkler P8408

A scholarly fellow named Walter
Thought he'd study the apes on Gibralter.
But to his dismay,
It was ape holiday,
And the monkeys had all gone to Malta.
--- Don Mulford

Though a gorilla's a primate most nimble,
For his bulk, he's no sexual symbol.
You see, his poor dong
Is but two inches long,
And his semen won't fill up a thimble.
--- Actaeon

A gorilla named Lee scratched his head;
"Where will I go when I'm dead?"
For this he did worry,
But found out in a hurry,
For a hunter then shot him instead.
--- Anon

There are some people think a gorilla
A creature as fierce as Atilla.
They're wrong as can be,
For he lives in a tree,
And his favorite ice cream is vanilla.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

Gorillas, desiring to eat,
Will frequently utilize feet
To hold on to food.
We hold it crude,
A custom more useful than neat.
--- R J Winkler P8408

There once was a keeper named Phil
Whose zoo was right next to a grill.
The monkeys would dwindle
With Phil's greasy swindle,
And the city would pick up the bill.
--- Tillmanator

A bold tourist came home from Manila,
Along with a half-ton gorilla;
Yes, it's known he's no chimp
But they found he's a wimp
When consuming BenJerry's vanilla.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

A scientist studying apes
Deserved the sniggering japes
Of colleagues concerned
And others who learned
He'd eaten the anthropoids' grapes.

(I don't get it - McW)
--- R J Winkler P8408

Anti-human? How could you, you beast!
Please consider our good points, at least.
We're industrious, smart,
And we've made some nice art.
You would miss us if we were deceased.
--- David Morin

That Pongos are pongoid is true,
All parts of the Pongidae crew
Of anthropoid creatures
With humanoid features --
A fact of importance to few.
--- R J Winkler P8408

To a gorilla who went for a drink,
The barman remarked with a blink,
"We get very few
Gorillas like you."
Said the ape, "It's your prices -- they stink!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

Goliath Gregorius Grape
Was the size and the shape of an ape.
His every scintilla
Suggested gorilla;
The guy was an anthropoid shape.
--- David Morin

Pursuing the anthropoid Pongo,
Curators from Boston and Bonn go,
Enduring the climate,
In search of a primate
Throughout equatorial Congo.
--- R J Winkler P8408

There was a composer named Bong,
Who composed a new popular song.
It was simply the croon
Of a lovesick baboon,
With occasional thumps on the gong.
--- Anon

The network chief said, "We won't botch it.
We'll have this macaque they call Crochett
Preview the new show,
Because, as you know,
He's as smart as the people who'll watch it.
--- A N Wilkins P8408

The mandrill I reject;
He isn't circumspect.
He uses paint
Where others mayn't,
And where you'd least expect.
--- Limber Limericks

The mandrill, I say, is obscene.
He knows it, and shows it, as seen
By the permanent blush
Which paints his...Butt, tush!
It's his blushing which makes him obscene!
--- Laurence Perrine P8802