Why were you in my neighborhood?
It's clear you've been up to no good!
You made up some dirt;
Some feelings got hurt.
You said things I thought no one would.
--- Marlene Lewis

You have maligned Pete and he's mad;
He's gone off to talk to his dad.
Jon's a great big bruiser.
You will be the loser.
Now why does that not make me sad?
--- Marlene Lewis

You picked on an old lady, too.
Though we thought she would not say Boo!
L'il Granny Dufret
Is looking your way;
I'd be worried if I were you.
--- Marlene Lewis

The teenager carries a blade;
The light-footed pair want to get laid.
The gent's got a rifle
(I will get en eyeful!)
You be afraid. Very afraid.
--- Marlene Lewis

There was a young lady of Minsk
Whose behind young men like to pinsk,
Till she purchased a gun
Which made them all run.
It's weapons that made them convinsk.
--- Jan Sand

There once was a man from Yakutsk
Afflicted in one of his nutsk;
It would dance all around
With a leap and a bound;
The damn thing just wouldnt stay putsk
--- Anon

When the bishop of old Kalinin
Learned the age of the girl he had been in,
He performed an ablution
Of self absolution,
And with gusto went back to his sinnin'.
--- Anon

Your rendition has caused me to winsk,
'Cause he wasn't a czar but a prinsk,
Who offered his horscht
For a bowl full of borscht,
At the Belarus Battle of Minsk.
--- Anon

A girl from the city of Bratsk
Was fequently heard to say, "Dratsk!
I look like a ninny
'Cause my legs are too skinny
And my boobies are drooping and flatsk."
--- Hugh Clary

Those Russian gals seem to be gagging
To sample a westerner's shagging.
It isn't too clear
If they are sincere,
Or whether they're just carpet-bagging.
--- Cubby

There's a nude beach on Novaya Zemla;
Folks catch cold, and hock up such phlem ya
Have ne'er before seen,
Both yellow and green;
And the Doc sadly says: "Do svidanya!"
--- Anon

There is a young lady of Omsk
Who orgasms much like a bombsk.
"It's worse than I thought,
For it's more like a sort
Of Chernobyl," exploded young Tomsk.
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a Chow dog from Kharkov
That no one could stop up the barkov.
On the Black Sea one day,
He missed the gangway,
And made a nice lunch for a sharkov.
--- Ericka

A blonde girl who hailed from Kolotsk,
Went down to the local shopsk,
To buy underwear,
Twelve gigarubles a pair,
And each one had a hole in the crotsk.
--- MrMalo

A comradely miss in Murmansk,
Was careful in making her plansk.
With her passions unchained,
It was clearly ordained,
She'd end up with a mansk who was Dansk.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

While traveling East of Murmansk,
I banged a sweet lovely, a Dansk.
He pelvic gyrations
Were a cosmic sensation,
And left me enslaved and entranced.
--- Ward Hardman

A bride from Dnepropetrovsk,
Whose honeymoon proved rather roughsk,
Having failed with a "Nyet!"
To fend off each new threat,
Screamed, "Dimitri! Enough is enoughsk!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

There was a young lady of Russia
Who screamed so that no-one could hush her.
The noise was so bad
That her husband went mad,
And at last, down the loo tried to flush her.
--- Loads & Loads Lims P0104

There was that one time in Murmansk
When Tiddy and Peter played pranksk.
They stole all my clothes;
It was forty below.
I nearly wound up with froze flanksk.
--- Ericka

But then when we went to Irkutsk,
I seem to remember I putsk
Some hot stuff inside ya,
But trying to ride ya,
Got sucked in as far as my footsk.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I heard of your tryst in Dzerzhinsk
Where Tiddy's cold poker couldn'tsk
Awake from its slumber,
Bereft of some lumber.
You placed Peter's percy withinsk.
--- Randog

A ship builders son from Gdansk
Paid loads to a stripper to dansk,
And strip to the buff,
But he left in a huff,
When she wouldn't get out of her pantsk.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was a young boy from Murmansk
Who, from sexual play, never shransk.
But none of the egg-ers
Ever got preggers;
That poor Russian boy just shot blansk.
--- Ericka

In Russia, a rule is enforsched,
'Cause many a wife's been divorsched
For serving a meal
When the beets lack appeal;
They're forbidden to heat a dead borscht.
--- Hugh Clary

Mused a tourist in Moscow named Fred,
As he humped young Natasha in bed:
"I am prosperous, true,
But I so love to screw,
That I've ended up here in the Red!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

And another test here in Irkutsk,
Where floozies yelled, "Show us your nutsk!"
They said, "We decline;
Prefer things bovine!
So please present Bessie's big buttsk."
--- Anon

The maidens I knew in Irkutsk
Were swingers -- No if, ands, or butsk.
For them, coexistence
Meant red-hot persistence
In nightlong Siberian rutsk.
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver

There once was a man from Irkutsk,
Whose dong measured more than a footsk.
He lived on brown coal
And when girls grabbed his pole,
He came; they got covered with sootsk.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was a young lad of Irutsk
Who lusted for Irma the slutsk.
She laughed at his pleading
For fumbling and kneading,
Then gave him a kick in the nutsk.
--- Peter Wilkins

A girl who is found on Kamchatka,
Can be had for a bottle of vodka;
I wanted to tarry,
But the chick was so hairy,
I never located her twatka.
--- Travis Brasell

Her twatka is now in Gedansk;
She's opened it up for romansk.
So take your full flask
Of vodka and ask
This hairy chick to dropsk her pantsk.
--- Travis Brasell

The gangsters, the news reports said,
Wanted Russia's top anchorman dead.
Ours needn't fear
From their wanting that here:
It would just be a waste of their lead.
--- DC Dave

Ludmilla Markova, a Tajik,
Whose habits were anthropophagic,
Was chewing the dong
Of Hi Fong from Hong Kong,
When she choked and she died. Very tragic!
--- Tiddy Ogg

This is file kym

Now you are raising my angst,
Expecting something from Murmansk.
Instead all you wrote,
About a girl and a scrote,
Were tales of Ludmilla, a cransk.
--- Archie

My faithful old dog was named Rover,
Until that sad day he went nova.
He nosed up the skirt,
And then died in the dirt.
He'd sniffed at Ludmilla Markova.
--- Archie

A swinger I chanced on in Minsk
Stripped fast to her White Russian skinsk.
As I fixed my square stare
On this hip Russian bare,
I felt out, but quite soon I was insk!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

Their resolve though was tested at Minsk,
When after much vodka and ginsk,
At a whorehouse they saw,
Standing there in the door,
Three floozies a-flashing their quimsk.
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Omsk
Who came like a hydrogen bombsk;
Her pleasure was heard
Over more than a third
Of old Russia, from Moscow to Tomsk.
--- Peter Wilkins

Priest-soldiers rolled into Murmansk
In rows upon rows of big tansk.
With celibacy,
They all did agree...
"When we needs to cum we just wansk!"
--- Anon

That silly young boy from Murmansk
Loved playing fun practical pransk.
His friends weren't amused
And they all accused
Him of needing to be on some transk.
--- Anon

There was a young girl from Murmansk;
She was really built like a tansk.
If on you she'd jump
For a good soldid hump,
Then, if you survived, you'd give thansk.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A girlish star-gazer, Petrova,
Once thought she had simply gone nova.
It wasn't a quasar
But the new Commisar,
Coming over and over and over.
--- Archie

There once were three sailors from Omsk,
Whose names were Jack, Terry, and Tomsk.
They hung out with hookers,
'Cause they weren't good lookers;
With regular girls, they just bombsk.
--- Ericka

The Russian czar had been shot.
In Prussia the Kaiser was not.
Does that mean the Prussians
Were nicer than Russians,
Or was one and wasn't one caught?
--- Irving Superior

At this question most scholars must balk:
"Just how does a smart Russian Jew talk
To a dumb Russian Jew?"
He talks, it is true,
Long distance -- by phone -- from New York.
--- Arthur Deex P8404A

There was a young man from Polotsk
Who had, for to pee in, no potsk.
The Shiite militia
Said "Igor, we wish ya
Would not leave a trail of wet dotsk."
--- Ericka

Young Ivan who once worked for Pravda,
Thought sheep shagging wrong, and he'd havda
Fuck squirrels instead.
So he took one to bed...
Lost his nutsk! Have you heard a tale dafda?
--- Tiddy Ogg

She asked, "Is that old Boris Gudenov?
Do you think, at his age he'll have woodenov?
I'll make the man's day."
Then cried in dismay,
"Oh heavens, I've gone pulled his pudenov!"
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was a young soldier from Orsk
Who'd give up his kingdom for a horsk.
(And wife for a saddle)
In the midst of a battle.
'Twas Czar Richard the Third, of coursk.
--- Travis Brasell

There was an old Russian from Rostov
Who needed to get himself tossedov.
He searched all of Orsk
For one willing whoresk,
But all of them kept their legs crossedov.
--- Anon

I once took a troika to Kharkov,
Met a young man. We struck sparkov.
Was he a great lay?
Not really, 'cause they
All look the same in the darkov.
--- Ericka

I once took a trip to Murmansk;
Bought vodka, for which I gave thansk.
The wife ran away;
Good riddance, I say.
I'll settle for booze and a wansk.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The Russians remain what they are,
A peace-loving people, not far
From the ancient regime,
Where oppression's the theme
From Romanove to commie-tsar.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P9305

Smirked Soviet Minister Dinkov,
"The wonderful angles I think of!
I'll rent me a dacha
And screw my girl Sasha --
Sex heaven's what I'm on the brink of!"
--- Armand E Singer 470

The Russ put a thumb to his noseki
When young Olga suggested they hoseski...
He just KNEW that the witch
Had the Stalingrad itch,
So he shot off his load in his clotheski.
--- Grand Prix Lim 643

If you have to have sex in Siberia,
Here's the important criteria:
When having a boff --
If your balls drop off --
It's COLD!
--- PeterW

My Svetlana's robustki gumsk
Will nibble my schwaanz 'til I cumsk.
When it's snowing all day,
In the bunksk I will stay;
When I go out my pudski gets numbsk.
--- Allen Wolverton

There once was a man from Smolensk
Whose dong was so long that is bensk.
Said he, "I would try
To do up my fly,
But the state of my comrade prevensk."
--- Ericka

St. Petersburg's summer is gay;
Golden domes take the sun's bright array
And cast it around,
Costing ruble nor pound
Throughout the night's Arctic day!
--- Sumaq

There was a young girl from Sverdiovsk,
Who liked to take all her clothes offsk.
Thats probably the reason
She's the hit of the season
At parties; she's easy to boffsk.
--- MrMalo

They trundled on down to Tiblisi;
From the vodka and gin they felt queasy.
They stripped to their socksk
And got off their rocksk,
'Cause girls in Tiblisi are easy.
--- Anon

Euro-bore day's here again,
But this year, no need to complain.
A leather clad dolly,
Sang rock songs quite jolly
To win the prize for the Ukraine.
--- Robin T Cox

Ruslana came first, this is true,
But the voting was wholly askew.
While the leather-clad jigged
On the stage, votes were rigged
To repay good neighbors their due.
--- Robin T Cox

A lad works the fields in Uzbekistan,
Out so long in the sun that his neck is tan.
But a week in the sack
With a frisky Kuzak,
Is the way that he's hoping to wreck his tan.
--- Stargazer

I've moved from Murmansk to Polotsk
And here I will stay 'til I rotsk.
They've got what I need
To thrive and succeed;
The vodka is cold, the men hotsk.
--- Ericka

A few klicks due south you'll find Khatyn,
Where Canadian babes aren't forgotton.
You can practice lim-craft,
Polish Ivan's hard shaft,
And pursue other fetes misbegotton.
--- RanDog