Creating confusion real great,
Will disorganize,
Thoughts, actions wise,
Thus leaving conclusion to Fate.
--- Chris Papa

Unpleasant things that await us,
And surely contrive to deflate us,
Some nice old-timers,
May suffer Alzheimer's,
--- Chris Papa

Easy to distract and confuse.
Like Monica L.
When Prez she does smell,
Forgets logic, commits taboos.
--- Darryl

As I scrambled to get back on my feet,
My discomposure absolutely complete,
My patience eroded
By a broken toilet seat.
--- Norm Brust

DISCOMMODE? You ain't seen nothing yet!
On field trips with me, what you get
Is when you have to pee,
Get behind bush or tree.
There's no commode on which you can set.
--- Barbara Gorman

The inconvenience of DISCOMMODE
Is nothing compared to Texas toad,
Who was flushed by rains
Down through Houston drains,
Then up and out of the commode flowed.
--- Daniel Ford

The inconvenience does DISCOMMODE,
Present us with pains on the road.
Herculean feat,
Avoiding bad seat,
It's most uncomfortable, this commode.
--- Daniel Ford

When a "John" isn't there, DISCOMMODE,
For someone with an urgent load.
With grimace and groan
One is left alone,
To find his relief a la mode.
--- Chris Papa

Ladies, you can't propose
To wear fashionable panty hose.
And men, just relax
And don loose roomy slacks
For awkward stance or stooped pose!
--- Barbara Gormam

The mosquitoes do have a way
Under the long arctic sun's day
Of making you quick,
Whilst doing your "shtick,"
Unless you brought along repellent spray!
--- Barbara Gorman

It's tough when your urine you pass,
While risking a sting on your ass.
In Alaska, I've heard
Bugs outsize a bird,
And are really a threat to each lass.
--- Chris Papa

And guys, if they know what's about,
Are careful when they take it out.
If bugs are a-wing,
They're danger to thing,
That men use for more than a spout.
--- Chris Papa

DISCONFECTION, practice cheery,
Makes bacteriologists weary.
They find it appalling,
Insults their calling,
Repudiates current Germ Theory.

(to sterilize dropped candy by blowing the fuzz off)
--- Chris Papa

When Bach would compose for his Maud,
He'd play on his new clavichord.
His neighbors would sang-
guinely plan how to hang
Him, causing the smallest dis-cord.
--- Archie

"Now I am not one to complain,
But this Hamlet part is a pain.
He's a miserable wimp,
Pathetically limp.
I am fed up." said Tom with dis-dain.
--- Tiddy Ogg a

I think there is much to DISDAIN,
Things that I consider a pain.
I have a long list
Of what leaves me "pissed",
But not enough space to explain.
--- Chris Papa

Swedes hold in contempt, in DISDAIN,
Those whose language is markedly Dane,
But it did induce
Dear Hans to produce
Gentle Anderson stories humane.
--- Daniel Ford

ANAGNORISIS, which grabs,
As glint of discovery stabs,
Shows discomfort which,
Goes with that itch,
Was caused by a case of the "crabs".
--- Chris Papa

Waters from river's mouth DISEMBOGUE,
Described by guides in a lilting brogue.
The delta's darkening
Sent many harkening
Back to thoughts of the hurricaine rogue.
--- Daniel Ford

When at last Sleeping Beauty was granted
Release from her sleep, her Prince panted
With breath that was tainted,
So bad that she fainted;
Halitosis left her dis-enchanted.
--- John Miller

I could write a verse, two or three,
But haven't the heart
To do more than start --
--- Gary Hallock

His thoughts and his speech were well pointed,
Until marijuana annointed
His brain with organics,
Which caused short-term panic,
And his thoughts became clearly dis-...dis-...
--- Mike

Once I watched as I sat in the shade,
All the blossoms my lilacs displayed.
But those spring flowers swooned
As time slipped into June,
And I felt just a little dis-mayed.
--- Mike

'98 will be surely remembered
As a mild year quite rudely Decembered,
While President Bill
Got impeached on the Hill
And the GOP badly dis-membered.
--- John Miller

I play the Windows solitaire,
'Cause others about me don't care.
I'd rather play poker
With some other joker,
But I play with myself in dis-pair!
--- Archie

The young man with hormones ablaze,
Still shunned his sure settled-down phase.
And when asked of marriage,
Was quick to DISPARAGE,
With thought of just what he might raise.
--- Chris Papa

If two gays have for years shared a bed,
I see no reason why they can't wed.
It doesn't DISPARAGE
The idea of marriage,
It just moves it one step ahead.
--- Norm Brust

Early car-owners would grow defensive
When their smoke was termed offensive.
In turn, they'd DISPARAGE
The horse and the carriage,
And its trail of horseshit, extensive.
--- Norm Brust

The couple had DISPARATE taste,
His confined to below the waist.
While she preferred peck
Somewhere on the neck,
A real proper lady, straight laced.
--- Chris Papa

DISPARATE tastes of couple should not stun;
What the man mostly thinks of is "fun".
He may have two heads,
But I'll take all bets,
He only has enough blood for one.
--- Barrie Eksteen

Provoking debate, DISPUTATIOUS,
Has about it a sense less gracious;
It starts contention
Beyond intention
And becomes to listeners vexatious.
--- Daniel Ford

Those ladies who orgasms fake,
Swear that they feel the earth shake.
And manage to tremble
Say, "Not now dear, I have a headache."
--- Chris Papa

DISSEMBLE, polite as can be,
Means with truth one is too free.
It cools the hot fire
Of calling one "liar!"
But it means the same thing to me.
--- Chris Papa

This is file ksl

Hiding feelings or facts, DISSEMBLE,
Plausible story to assemble;
What a web we weave
When we do deceive
In trying some truth to resemble.
--- Daniel Ford

When hidden motive means DISSEMBLE,
And the speaker betrays no tremble,
Lies may be accepted
With nothing excepted,
Because stories do truth resemble.
--- Daniel Ford

In order a majority to assemble,
LBJ would cajole and dissemble.
He would twist the truth,
Was at times, uncouth,
Like the bully he was said to resemble.
--- Norm Brust

Strange friends in political bed,
Congress seeks justice with dread.
Slick Willy don't lie;
Won't perjury buy;
The poor chap DISSEMBLES instead!
--- Chris Papa

'Tis pity, the time that we waste,
With sex fights concocted in haste,
Where gender rules all,
Beyond reason's call,
Thus yielding our DISTAFF's distaste.
--- Chris Papa

The DISTAFF jobs are "woman's work,"
Now so labeled only by a jerk,
Whose lack of repect,
Not hard to detect,
Cannot be dismissed as a quirk.
--- Daniel Ford

The poor deacon's wife was DISTRAIT,
When the household cat slipped away,
And stayed out all night,
In hopes that he might
Find a mate in estrus, and play.
--- Chris Papa

My hair's in a bit of a mess;
It needs cutting, I have to confess.
But in winter my neck
Freezes up and by heck,
I could do without all the dis-tress.
--- Peter Wilkins

The old man lay dying, disgusted
That his will by his sons would be busted.
Yet he died with a smile
For he knew in a while
They would learn they'd been truly dis-trusted.
--- John Miller

There is a great chef, so I've read,
Spends his time baking dough; it is said
He shuns all other fare --
Soups, hors d'oeuvres and eclairs --
'Cause his lone talent's simply in-bred.
--- Mike

One word with an underserved taint
Is surely the infamous ain't.
It's all we have got
To shorten "am not",
As ain't is awfully quaint.
--- Anon

The word "am" is a form of "to be",
Focused first-person singularly.
Which is probably why
It's so popular. I
Think it's peachy. It's all about me!
--- Anon

There's one thing all anonyms know:
Beware of the spotlight's hot glow.
They're always anonymous;
That, or psuedonymous.
(My anonym's fast escargot.)
--- David Morin

What if sibilant English had been
Formed of letters cedilla and shin?
Every plural would frown
As an aggregate noun,
In an esslessness fit for a queen.
--- Carol June Hooker

It will be an historical day
When the data shows I have my way,
And "data"'s not plural
Or urban or rural;
The "an" before "h" goes away.
--- John Miller 0338a

Intelligentsia just love their datums
And that filters down through the stratums,
To people like me,
Without a degree,
When we talk about quarks, charm, and atoms.
--- John Miller 0338b

I live on an house by the shore,
On an hill with an hotel next door.
Where I heard an hiss
From an haughty you miss,
When I spent a whole lot on an whore.
--- John Miller 0338c

Ebonics be some sort of joke.
School leaders be down with sunstroke?
The bells that'll ring will
Be "I be bilingual,"
And God-awful English be spoke!
--- Al Willis (B Tepper)P9911

Have you noticed that words such as thrash
Are all brutal or hurried like flash?
When you rip off their starts,
The are burnt at their hearts,
And you're left with just worthless grey ash.
--- David A Brooks

Americans speak English, they claim,
But English English is not the same.
There's meanings they're using
That brits find amusing,
Like "Fanny" is not a ass name.
--- Anon

I've got me a Junoesque pole.
So Karen, don't get smart, just condole.
I shant ostentate.
Threnodics my fate. (song or poem)
Enough of this ragamarole.
--- H Welchel

Ironical to tweak and tease,
In our land of discourteous sleeze,
Some seem on the wrong track.
They insist bringing back
Correct English: "Excuse me" and "Please."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My stenographer's notable glamour
Could not compensate for her grammar.
She got me so tired
That I told her: 'You're fired!'
Now I wish she was back again, damn her!
--- Explosion of Lims P0503

And we English? We're sub-lingual vermin.
The problem's not hard to determine:
Full half what we say
Is fucked-up fran‡ais;
The other half, bass-ackwards German
--- Anon

A grammarian challenged: "What sense
Hath the future pluperfect past tense?
Will you find it? Nowhere!
But I answered his dare:
Grandma's will had had orders for hence!
--- Prof M-G

A German who makes clothing so neat,
Asked his patron to please take a seat.
"So, you do like dis stress,
It fits perfectly, yes?
Now ve just need some shoes for defeat."
--- Anon

The new bloke here at work is a friend,
and I will just have to just men-
Tion his accent's 'Glaswegian'
Could just be Norwegian,
'Cause it sure gets me at my wit's end.
--- Anon

To a teacher a student once said,
"Sir, I think you are out of your head.
What a fool you must be
If you criticize me!
I should be teaching English instead.
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608

"I perceive," was the ready reply,
"There's a Biblical beam in your eye.
You had best pluck it out,
Or without any doubt,
In this course you will never get by.
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608

"It occurs to me, thinking twice,
That you're just trying not to be 'nice.'
And if such is your aim,
You're not too much to blame,
Although insults more mild would suffice.
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608

Or it may be that psychoanalysis
Would display me entangled in fallacies;
Than through passions repressed
And desires unconfessed,
Your politeness has suffered paralysis.
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608

"At any rate, hark to a fable,
And interpret it if you are able,
Of the dinosaur bold
Who existed of old
And had manners like Cain's toward Abel.
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608

"All the rest of the creatures would flee him;
'Twas a fearsome experience to see him.
But his brain was unused,
For to learn he refused,
And his bones are now in a museum."
--- Ellsworth Barnard P0608