After losing a game of roulette
Hatch said with a hint of a fret,
"Our high priced debater
Will handle that later."
(Or pray that the judge will forget.)
--- Anon

With Sontag's submission redone,
Citing federal rule seven-oh-one,
I wonder, can Hatch,
His dignity patch,
But I ain't no senator's son.
--- Anon

A point there you're making that's mooter,
'Cause some girls are dragons, some cuter.
But I'd like to say,
That to get a good lay,
The easy ones all come from Utah.
--- Anon

In Wyoming there's a town called Bill;
In Bill there's nary a hill.
The land there is flat
As a squashed opera hat.
I think I would call it Dullsville.
--- William K Alsop Jr

The snowmobile I rode that day
Is really quite nice in its way.
Handwarmers it has
And that's as good as
The fancy stuff on a new sleigh.
--- Anon

In Yellowstone Park it was nice;
A world covered with snow and ice;
With geysers and steam
And landscape extreme,
It was worth the 15-buck price.
--- Anon

American Bison we saw --
We stared at them in amazed awe.
They've thick shaggy hide
But only one side!
These winter-thin beasts must eat straw.
--- Anon

The grebes swimming near Firehole Falls
Have funny, quite odd little calls.
The river is warm
They come to no harm
Once out though, they freeze their bird balls.
--- Anon

On up the snow road we all went;
We came to the next geyser vent.
The steam 'cross the road
In billowed clouds flowed,
That all had a sulphery scent.
--- Anon

Four wolves we saw off on the right!
Ahhh! What an incredible sight!
These wolves in the wild
Had once been exiled.
Of my trip that was the true height.
--- Anon

Pit toilets are gross in the summer.
In winter they're really a bummer.
The stink does not freeze.
The smell makes me wheeze.
These places cry out for a plumber!
--- Anon

Snow pants, sweat suit, longjohns and panties;
Exposing skin under your scanties
To icy cold air.
It just is not fair,
That men have no need for these shanties!
--- Anon

At Old Faithful they have a flushy!
The floor is a little bit slushy.
But it's fairly clean
(No! What can be seen!?)
Oh -- geysers at that place are ass gushy.
--- Anon

It's much colder down by the lake,
But that is the road we must take.
There's snow in the trees;
The eye it does please,
So perfect you'd think it was fake.
--- Anon

The Yellowstone Falls was half froze;
At Artist's point I struck a pose.
A picture to keep
That did not come cheap --
But all you can see is my nose.
--- Anon

From Canyon to Norris was great.
It's getting a little bit late.
The road will be rough;
That makes the ride tough.
I knew not then what was my fate.
--- Anon

From Norris to Madison -- Yuck!
The good part was just the elk buck.
He had a huge rack,
But mastered the knack
Of balancing. I was awestruck!
--- Anon

The moguls that snowmobiles make
Are like riding in a boat wake.
They jar out your teeth.
And right underneath
My hood, a high toll they would take.
--- Anon

The trail makes us jiggle and quake;
Don't know how much my boobs can take!
Glad mine are real small.
It gives, after all,
New meaning to that word "milkshake!"
--- Anon

When I stopped at Madison Junction,
I found my machine wouldn't function.
The damn little fart
Did not want to start;
It was ready for Supreme Unction.
--- Anon

My Dad, when he lifted the hood,
Said, "Sparkplugs are probably no good."
The sparkplug screw cap
Was totally crap.
The rough ride it had not withstood.
--- Anon

He fiddled and fussed and he fumed.
Then jammed it back on and resumed.
A pull on the rope
And I had some hope
It'd work if the trail had been groomed.
--- Anon

A big herd of Bison ahead.
I weave my way through them with dread.
I feel the sled drag
And my spirits sag;
One inch and then my machine's dead.
--- Anon

The buffalo eye me askance.
This is not a prime circumstance.
They're huge when they're close
We are nose to nose --
I'm 'bout ready to pee my pants!
--- Anon

My Dad comes back to fix my sled
With buffalo 'cross the road spread.
But when he comes near,
The young ones in fear
Backed up just a few steps instead.
--- Anon

This Bison bull, 'bout eight feet tall
Was not going to back off at all.
He just claimed the road
In challenging mode.
He'd like to have started a brawl.
--- Anon

Dad swung a rope and called his bluff.
He finally backed off enough.
We got the sleds hooked
And last time I looked,
They're following us in a huff.
--- Anon

The jury-rigged sparkplug is in;
The second-day's ride we begin.
I ride hard and fast,
I'm having a blast
Just cutting where no one has been.
--- Anon

On climbing up Lionhead Pass,
I gave the machine too much gas.
I hit a big hole
And I lost control.
The bruise my knee got is first class!
--- Anon

My brother, he called me a wimp
When he saw I walked with a limp.
"Been kicked in the nuts?
That's worse than knee cuts!
Get back on that sled, you lil' gimp!"
--- Anon

My knee swelled up twice its own size;
Now these guys with things on the rise
Got nothing on me,
Because you can see
My own body part that changed size!
--- Anon

The head gasket blew the same time;
No higher would my machine climb.
It's towed home once more.
For me: perfect score!
This wrecking the sled's my pastime.
--- Anon

My brother gave me a ride back
And after I gave him a smack.
He took it right slow
Because, don't ya know,
My poor knee was all blue and black.
--- Anon

This is file kpm

Vacation was really great fun,
But I'm just as glad that it's done.
Recuperate now!
'Cause I know somehow,
The next chance to ride I won't shun!
--- Anon

She gained secret self-satisfaction
From watching volcanoes in action;
But made this remark
(While in Yellowstone Park)
"Geysers drive me to utter distraction."
--- Peter Wilkins

A visit to Yellowstone Park
Can be a big pain, or a lark.
It all will depend
On whether you spend
Your money on good stuff or marc.

(marc - cheap stuff made from the residue of distillation)
--- Larry Davis P8710

It would seem the Illini would raise
The question and carefully phrase
The enigma heartfelt:
How in the Bible Belt,
Could a town have come to be named Gays?
--- Loren Fitzhugh

In the fine northern state of Alaska,
The oceans do teem with Mollusca.
The mountains are full
With caribou bull,
Too cold? When we get there, I'll ask ya.
--- Phil Denisch

The first state they named Delaware,
And I'm sure that we're all well aware,
That a longer shoreline,
Is sure mighty fine,
For freedom to really take air.
--- Phil Denisch

The big Pine Tree State is called Maine,
And it's soon to be freedom's domain.
We'll eat yummy lobsters,
And kick out the mobsters,
For the NAP is to be plain humane. (NAP = ??)
--- Phil Denisch

Such big Sky has all of Montana,
(The Liberty Northern savannah),
That women and men,
Are tempted to sin,
Though Freedom comes down just like manna.
--- Phil Denisch

Let's go live in North Dakota,
Where freedom won't give an iota.
The rough riders there
Have courage to spare,
And leaves smell as sweet as a rhoda.
--- Phil Denisch

Here's heading to good South Dakota,
And never know freedom's coda.
The Mount Rushmore State,
Will never berate.
But proudly list liberty's rota.
--- Phil Denisch

To locate in dear old Vermont,
With Green Mountain boys so gallant.
The fine sugar maples
Like paiazzo in Naples,
For Liberty, we'll take that jaunt.
--- Phil Denisch

We may settle out west in Wyoming,
An end to our searching and roaming.
To say "equal rights"
And defend it with fights,
The Porcs to it will be homing.
--- Phil Denisch

And so lives the bold Free State Project,
With Liberty lovers to inject.
The state will do well,
No need to rebel,
For honestly, freedom's the object.
--- Phil Denisch

Take us to beautiful Idaho,
To statists we'll give the big heave-a-ho.
With spud and deep mine,
And the life aquiline,
But it's freedom we'll help Ida grow.
--- Phil Denisch

I offered to give Hilton Head.
He'd rather Mount Pleasant in bed.
"You're Easley", says he,
(But Pregnall I'll be.)
Why don't he mount Florence instead?
--- Anon

Few girls beat the record of June,
Who was laid in Bangkok and Rangoon,
Hong Kong and Vallejo, France, Montevideo,
Melbourne, Shigachi, Kabul, and Karachi, Kowloon, Saskatoon,

Out in back of Petrucci's saloon.
--- G0692

Where is our East Anglian Pete?
Perhaps he's off touring in Crete,
Where girlies have mothers
And vengeful young brothers;
I hope he is being discrete.
--- Archie

That chambermaid Flo from Manchuria,
Delivered to me by a courier,
Turned out to me meaner
Than Sister Christina,
And caused me an awful injuria.
--- Peter Wilkins

So parts of me now are discrete;
They seem to have dropped to my feet.
I stare at them numbly,
And play with them glumly,
They kick them back under my seat.
--- Peter Wilkins

I'm flying to Ireland today
(Without my commode, by the way,
Whose contents I've hidden,
Disguised as the midden
That's tended by Old Framer Gray)
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Old Farmer Gray never wed;
He lives with his cows in a shed.
It's shoveling shit
Into piles, keep him fit,
For shenanigans nightly in bed.
--- Peter Wilkins

But where was I? Ireland that's where;
I hope that my chambermaid there
Is eager to please me
And willing to tease me
By wiggling her sweet derriere.
--- Peter Wilkins

Once there were two Eskimos:
Joe froze his fingers and toes,
As he fished in his kayak;
While floating in his umiak,
Jim froze his ears and his nose.
--- William K Alsop Jr

There once was a hermit named Sloat.
Where he sheltered was so remote,
You could only get there
By boat or by air,
In a plane equipped with a float.
--- William K Alsop Jr

This map of places erotic
Points out a few places exotic.
Is that here or there?
And you've got one where?
Geography make me neurotic.
--- Anon

Enamored with atlases, Lee
Oft measures from A to B.
If B is adjacent
To A or is nascent,
He estimates accurately.
--- Peter Wilkins

However, if B unto A
Is very much further away,
He uses for pleasure
His personal measure;
Thus Ireland is stuck to Malay.
--- Peter Wilkins

Hawaiians don't wear many clotheses;
Israelis have very big noses;
And that's really that.
So quit, cyberbrat,
More we do not want to knowses.
--- Anon

I once met an Eskimo who talked me
Into entering his igloo and walked me
Into his frigid lair
(His bottom was bare)
It was there the little sucker cold-cocked me.
--- Ericka

A sheep who had lots of black wool
Was asked if he'd many bags full.
He said, "I have three;
Two for Boss, one for me.
I give it to the poor boy at school."
--- Arthur Pattaffy

A billy, not getting enough,
Started licking the shepherdess' muff.
She was tickling his chin,
When the shepherd butted in,
And now that poor billy goat's gruff.
--- Actaeon

One would think they'd be filled to the brim
With ebullience, vigor and vim.
But in spite of their fame
And wealth, true to their name,
Wilhelm and Jacob both remained Grimm.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0202

A tidbit the brothers named Grimm
Revealing a secret most grim:
A third brother, Lum --
Insane asylum.
And that's why there're not brothers Grimmm.
--- Irving Superior P0800

"I know what I want for my present,
Fiddler Cat" laughed the dog, effervescent.
"A spoon and a dish
To elope as they wish,
And a cow that jumps over the crescent!"
--- Rick Limer T9712