Then he tried to explain it to me
Using graphic vocabulary
Which confused me the more.
(He's got English Grade 4
And knows 4 letter words starting C.)
--- Anon

Forgotten them now; but it seems
There is sun, sand and C beyond dreams;
There'll be queues at my door
And I'm certain to score;
No resorting to underhand schemes.
--- Anon

"But Jim is too clever for me.
What's he mean? I dunno, but yippee;
I'll have wonderful fun
In the sand and the sun
And can't wait to get into the C."
--- Anon

"But first celebrations are due",
I said, "Best thing you did was get through
Your exam at Grade 3
And that's infinitely
More important than having a screw."
--- Anon

"A screw?" (Poor old Chuck) "Never mind",
I said, "Go to the kitchen; you'll find
I have bought us some C
N E." (Damn, 't was a trifle unkind.)
--- Anon

"Some C H A ... what did you say?"
(I must cease teasing Chuck in this way.)
"It's Champagne for your pass
At Grade 3, a small glass;
Celebrations are due on this day."
--- Anon

"Ooh Champers!" he said, "Did you know
That's a fun fizzy..." "Yes", I said, "Go."
"Goody gumdrops", he said,
With a grin as he sped
To the kitchen his face all aglow.
--- Anon

An hour or so later, no sound;
So I went to the kitchen and found
Him with bottles galore
Strewn all over the floor
And his school books spread out all around.
--- Anon

"Hey, Chuck. What's the matter my son?"
"I've been reading these labels; not one
Says 'Champagne' that I see,
And my dictionary
With its pictures ain't helping me none."
--- Anon

Forlornly he sighed with a shrug;
How I wished I could give him a hug.
I should never have spelt
Out 'Champagne' so I helped
Him to open the bottle of Krug.
--- Anon

Pamplona's only great action?
Go with the bull-running faction.
If you slip, be assured
You'll be trampled or gored.
That's why it's a tourist attraction.
--- Tom Myers

If ever you're visiting Spain,
And question just "Where falls the rain?"
They'll point over there,
And most everywhere,
With answers that seldom are plain.
--- Irving Superior P9710

There is now a fellow in Spain
So weary of "where falls the rain",
That if you persist,
He raises his fist
And makes it exceedingly plain.
--- Irving Superior P8906

A Spaniard who wanted to see
The wide world, went to work on the sea,
And in ports 'round the planet,
If things went as he'd plan it,
Pliant ladies would tell him, "Si, si."
--- John Sandler P9112

California is no longer great;
An invasion created this fate.
Here's a fact you should know:
If you don't stop the flow,
You are not welcome back in our state.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

You have come to our land undetected,
And in numbers much more than expected.
We've not insincere,
But we have some fear,
And it's mostly 'cause you're dark-complected.
--- Al Willis P9608

Sometimes when you measure worth
Of people that live here on earth;
It would be wise
To find their disguise,
Concealing the place of their birth.
--- Anon

I say that when push comes to shove,
Illegals should not get our love.
But if she's like Selena,
I'd like to detain her,
So, forget what I just said above.
--- Al Willis P9608

"California, Here I Come"
Wetbacks whistle, sing, or hum.
And they're taught
If they are caight,
"Back to Where I Started From."
--- Irving Superior P9501

It's the same here in Santa Fe;
Californians keep coming to stay.
It used to be Texans
We'd like to put hex-ons,
Now we wish the road west was one-way!
--- Anon

In Seattle we all used to say
That it rains here almost every day.
But now the beauty we found
Around Puget Sound,
Has Californians coming our way.
--- Anon

Now a few we could probably endure,
But right now we'd all like a cure
For this sad infestation,
Californian invasion,
That's turning this town to manure.
--- Anon

A Chicano was acting quite dense;
He was caught as he jumped from the fence.
"I din do no crime,
And here is a dime.
Por favor, call my lawyer; call Spence."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

These Mexes are crazy. It's proved!
Coming here, their life won't be improved.
No jobs; that's the pity;
They're in Mexico City,
Where all of our factories have moved.
--- MrMalo

Said the Border Patrol to the Wet Back,
"I GOTCHA! You've suffered a setback.
Now maybe you oughta
Get back 'cross the border,
And maybe your balls you will get-back."
--- Theo M Heller P9608

Stop eating those Chili Con Quesos
When the Border Patrol has its say-sos.
Just get a green card;
It's really not hard;
Just come up with barrels of pesos.
--- Theo M Heller P9608

When they swim across that Rio Grande,
I usually take a firm stand, see?
I also hate boaters
When they have no quotas,
Unless some of the girls are quite randy.
--- Al Willis P9608

Illegal alien Mexicans forlorn, ya
Once owned what is now California.
Prop 187
Lets ya die, go to Heaven.
I hope that it's alright to morn ya.
--- Dorman John Grace P9502

187 will put us in shape,
To the burden of white man escape.
Though, how under the sun,
Can we have so much fun
If we have no more goats left to scape?
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9502

So you enter our land with deceit?
You're illegal and I must repeat:
Is this common sense?
To jump over the fence?
And you do this 'cause you like to eat?
--- Al Willis P9608

Because of Prop 187
Immigrants can't get into heaven.
Without this brood
Selling food,
It's the end of 7 Eleven.
--- Tom Patton P9502

The 187 Proposition
Can affect a wetback's disposition.
Sans support from the state,
Immigrant waves will abate,
And inhibit demographic transition.
--- Thomas G Keller P9502

Why did workers for Juan's Lawn and Grass
Seem to vanish completely, en masse?
They heard Juan's warning words:
"Go and hide, you sick birds!
Immigration has come for your ass!"
--- William N Nesbit P9607

This is file kam

Pete Wilson shouts, "Hey, Border Rover,
Don't think you can live her in clover.
We passed 187
Not to keep you from heaven,
But our melting pot's boiling over."

(187 - Calif law denying benefits to illegal aliens)
--- Evelyn Bogen P9701

Vicente Fox, in some of his talks,
Tells anti-immigration hawks,
Crossings should be by far,
Easier than they are.
Just what does he want - moving sidewalks?
--- Jim Weaver P0401

Said the candidate, a minority hater,
"I'm a DAR... so is my Mater."
Her opponent, who licked her
Said, "Immigration was stricter,
When my folks arrived much, much later."
--- Theo M Heller P9608

Foreign nationals who find their luck hard,
In the lotto to win a green card,
May have better success
To forget INS
And sneak in at night past a guard.
--- Prof M-G

In the past, I have made many speeches,
And I have called illegals "leeches."
There is no disputing
They don't know computing.
We'll be up to our ears in ripe peaches.
--- Al Willis P9608

The story of Manuel the wetback,
Is filled with many a setback.
Crossing between nations
With mass deportations;
The first thing he tries is to get back.
--- MrMalo

Think y'all got a case of the crankies?
Well, girls put away your wet hankies.
Whatcha cryin' about?
Way down heah in sout'
Carolina, we's crawlin wid Yankees.
--- Anon

Scent of incense and charcoal that please;
Waft in on the ocean-borne breeze.
Back in Bali's my goal;
It's the isle of my soul.
My dreams tend to be Balinese.
--- Donna Lee Dom

I went to the beach on this day
And was hoping for waves come to play,
But the sea was all lumpy.
I think it was grumpy
And the sky was a little bit gray.
--- Archie

If my job were the best it could be,
I would test every beach by the sea.
I would spend several days
Near the surf, catching rays,
And go swimming, of course, for a fee.
--- Limerick Man

Almost any event, vaguely topical,
As often as not, is anthropical,
Or human related;
If Man leaves you sated,
Move somewhere deserted and tropical.
--- David Morin

Anytime that I'm low and depressed,
Distressed by snow, woe and the rest,
The best place to go,
Where life tempo is slow,
Bora Bora by trade winds caressed.
--- Joel D Ash P0506

South Seas a sure cure for the blues,
Azure ocean and bright cockatoos;
Sunshine beyond measure,
The lure of pure leisure,
No pressure and palm tree filled views.
--- Joel D Ash P0506

Sweet lagoon that is heaven to swim,
Bora Bora God-place pseudonym;
Rest the whole afternoon,
Then commune with the moon,
Live it up and give in to each whim.
--- Joel D Ash P0506

Walk the beach and find shells in the sand;
Think of nature, your mind will expand;
Gaze upon the reef swells;
Savor all the grand smells;
Land and waters you now understand.
--- Joel D Ash P0506

It is time to return to home place;
Rhyme and reason you try to embrace;
Now no matter the clime,
The mundane or sublime,
Live with grace and a smile on your face.
--- Joel D Ash P0506

When asked to make love by the sea,
Young Jackson would never agree.
"No! Never!" he cried.
But Oh, how he lied,
'Cause he did it! He did it with me!
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

Jon come to da big Susquehanna
Where tally-man tally banana.
Fo dat wee Gear-hardware,
Dere be no tally dere,
An' no pole to prop up his cabana.
--- Anon

A cartographer, drawing a map,
With a cute little babe on his lap,
Omitted Kuwait,
Made Cuba a state,
And rubbed out the island of Yap.
--- Lims Unlimited

Scene two, we'll shoot on location.
A tropical far away nation.
Under palm trees,
Quiet blue seas,
This scene will be a sensation.
--- Anon

The title's "Paradise Found."
Your ship's just run aground.
On this desert isle,
Now miles and miles,
Away, there's no one around.
--- Anon

Oh look, what's that you see,
Lying under the only palm tree?
A sun tanned girl,
Long golden curls,
Arms outstretched with a plea.
--- Anon

"Save me, I've been here so long,
You're so big and so strong,
Please quench my thirst,
I'm ready to burst,
Won't you give me a taste of your dong?"
--- Anon

And being an accommodating guy,
And seeing my lips were so dry,
Not twice did you think,
A long, long drink,
You gave me, with pleasure you comply.
--- Anon

"I see that you're thirsty, too.
Now here's is a drink for you.
My clit's dripping wet,
Take all you can get,
Don't stop." And my pleasure grew
--- Anon

Wait, now we're losing the light.
Guess we have to stay here tonight.
We'll practice our lines,
And the bumps and grinds,
Until we get it just right.
--- Anon

Her body was lovely and tight,
But the morning was not enough bright
To distinguish the tips
Of her roseate nips,
And I cursed at the dawn's surly light.
--- Anon

When Castro first came to power,
He was hailed as the "Man Of The Hour."
But despite what was said,
He turned out to be "Red",
And relations with "Uncle" turned sour.
--- Gifford Wherry

In the U.S. town of Bemidji
They all clean their glass with a squeegee.
If it's large or tiny
Each window is shiny
Do you think it's the same down in Fiji?
--- Tom Patton P0411

I sit here close to the ocean.
I sit there slathered with lotion.
I'm having great fun,
As I bathe in the sun,
Waiting to get pushed into motion.
--- William K Alsop Jr

On the glamorous Isle Pinger Ponger,
You can live like a king, do no wronger;
You can play night and day
For as long as you stay,
But the price really kills linger longer.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

I dream of a small island Eden
Between the equator and Sweden,
Where the climate is not
Too cold or too hot
For delectable lovin' and breedin'.
--- Laurence Perrine P9411

If wanting some sex you're in luck:
The Islands of Rhum, Eigg and Muck
Have girls, shapely built,
Who'll lift up your kilt
And give you a blow job or fuck.
--- Tiddy Ogg