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Will jellyfish genes in a monkey Enormous huge networks of genes "We're Adam and Eve's family," A scientist living in Bude, An acid rain falls on the leaves, A hot-blooded Latin, Jerome, My ancestors followed green trails Genealogy does me amaze In a treetop a tailed furry creature My genetically engineered brother At school I went out for athletics; I once met this three-breasted whore, If you check all of your DNA, There was a young lady named Rose, The DNA that men enjoy His gene pool sadly is missing; If man is true POLYPHYLETIC, His idea is simply pathetic It's a natural impulse to thrust, If I gave you my genome to play with, A study fo high complication Genetic scientists in a lab near Renfrew, Current gene-theory's in strife, A lean young peripatetic Though girls be more socially aesthetic; (Skuse claimed social gene on X chromosome - 1997)
"Moral judgments," said Reverend Carey, A genetic engineer named Pickens I claim my descent from a monkey, I think quite a lot on the sexes, If the chromosome make-up of eggs Our scientists are working each day Yitzhak Rabin responded with glee, If it is the gender in question, Well, you will have much trouble here, "It's that extra, but weak, chromosome," I'm cloning male parts in my cellar, Please tell me which gender I am; "A twin!", he said he hadn't known one. Maybe they will clone Al Gore, It all started with the ewe, Dolly; Perhaps they'd be cloning Madonna, A molecular genius named Kroner You can cut me apart with a knife; I think that they should clone the Prez, I tell you my mind is just blown; There once was a scientist mad, There was a young doc named McCoy I don't know if anyone cares, Some folks have a misapprehension, Problems may come, but be small. There's questions of overpopulation, Some worry about "Master Races", An NBA chock full of Jordans? That's sick! That's immoral! I know! Therefore, as the pressure has bounded, Holy Cow! They've done it once more! There's only one problem, I'm afraid, If I could clone myself, I would do it, Down to the beach I would go; Though I'm tempted to trade in my body, I can't understand all the moaning, Clinton put a ban on people cloning; "We must stop," said Clinton on cloning, If they stop cloning reasearch today, There once was a prof who impressed, Have scientists gone mad and too far,
Called George, make the monkey act funky?
Look-see through in water;
Have stings he'd no ought ter,
And wobble on land like a drunky.
--- Prof M-G
Are magic, or that's what it seems.
You plot a huge jumble
Of bullshit, then mumble,
Pretending to know what it means.
--- Gordon Conference
This Phi Beta Kappa told me.
"So if we're to lie
With thigh against thigh,
It's miscegenetically."
--- Irving Superior
Genetically modified food.
He altered the genes
Of carrots and beans,
For reasons I cannot conclude.
--- Richard Long
And Mother Earth quietly grieves.
These blasted pollutants
Will make us all mutants;
Our kids will wear coats with three sleeves.
--- David Morin
Was frigging a girlie in Rome.
"Festina lente,"
Was all she could say,
"You're rousing my sex chromosome."
--- Julia Strawn P8809
With gracefully prehensile tails.
I feel for my own
And find it is gone.
A lack! Clear proof nature fails.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
As my ancestry I've tried to raise.
The enumeration
By decades in this nation,
Spells my name in disparate ways.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
Met another and swung to beseech her:
"Return my affection
And Natural Selection
Will fetch in the future our feature."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
Was created by some means or other.
He has, between us,
No umbilicus,
So he therefore rejects our dear mother.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9404
My parents preferred cybernetics.
So I studied kinetics
To please those ascetics,
But I question our common genetics.
--- Mimi
A mutant of nuclear war.
She'd two pussies, I swear,
Though neither had hair,
And a tongue that hung down to the floor.
--- Jeeves T9801
Back to the first, you will say:
We're decendants of WHO?
A black woman? It's true!
(And the man with whom she did lay.
--- Jalayne
Who lauded her daddy in prose.
In her 'Ode to Dear Dad',
Her genealogy was bad--
'Cause only her mother knows.
--- Anon A
Prevents them from being too coy.
Just scratch 'neath their skin,
And you'll find that you're in
The realm of perpetual boy.
--- Chris Papa
It simply is bubbling and hissing.
No A, T, C, G --
Even up to his knee,
Because his pool is where we've been pissing.
--- Anon
And mixed up in matters genetic,
Then family pride
Should quick be denied,
Since Dads were so peripatetic.
--- Chris Papa
That only is beauty magnetic...
A beautiful moron
Softens the hard-on,
A boon for the pool that's genetic.
--- Anon
To further the species, a must.
To the end, mate, this means,
Something there in your genes
To make sure of "pure animal lust!"
--- David Bourke
Would you deem me as someone to stay with.
Or would you scramble my genes
Like tossed salad spring greens,
Just to see all the sequence I'm made with.
--- Science Creative Quart
Is DNA mechanization.
It seem, my dear sir,
Its reison d'etre
Is simply its self-replication.
--- Kim Goldsworthy P8504
Have proved sex must be hereditary too.
Says spokesperson McTavitt,
"If yer Ma didn't have it,
Chances are neither will you!"
--- H Myers A
Since, although carbon-creatures are rife,
A Baywatch stampede,
Show the presence, indeed,
Of small units of silicone-life.
--- Nick D Kim a
Thinks slimness may be genetic.
Both father and son
Find sleepwalking fun,
Despite a pace that's frenetic.
--- Macsam
Though oafish teen boys be pathetic;
Though Doc Skuse, to applause,
Claims a chromosome cause...
I cannot believe it's genetic.
--- M Mestert
"About surrogate motherhood vary.
Some think it's a bane,
And yet others maintain
The first surrogate mother was Mary."
--- A N Wilkins P8706a
Gave his lab assistant the Dickens.
Seems he saturated a turd
With DNA from some bird;
Got some shit that tasted like chicken.
--- John C Hulse
Though a chorus of jeers all in one key,
Makes it most evident
One may trace their descent
From a dim-witted hee-hawing donkey!
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
On the y-chromosomes and the x's,
On the cells, and their size,
On the breasts! On the thighs!
And especially that centermost nexus!
--- Lance Payne P8601
Could be either a Y or an X,
There'd be half as much muff
For us geezers to stuff,
And a third indeterminate sex.
--- Peter Wilkins
On chromosones and dna.
In the end there would be
A "X", "Y" AND "Z,"
And we'd get surprises with play.
--- Anon
"Blood tests prove Arabs same as me.
The consequence
Is all are mensch;
The whole world is Jewish, don't you see?"
--- Tom Patton
Then this small fact I will mention:
X-Y is my pair;
With my wife I share;
Let there be no misintention.
--- Anon
This is file zyl
Even without all the beer.
They got sex on the brain
Again and again.
Please don't bring the wife around here!
--- Anon
Said Professor J. Macho Jerome,
"That makes women miss out on
The fun men can count on "
And even a sexy, bald dome."
--- Limericks Liberated P0501
So I can build me a new feller.
Some bits are real old,
Two other have mold,
But one looks just like my bank teller!
--- Anon
Might I be a woman or man?
A sister or brother?
A father or mother?
I'm a clone of both Sarah and Sam.
--- Countrygirl
And his look-alike, he didn't own one.
"But I will, with a sliver
Of my thumb and liver,
'Cause you know that it takes one to clone one."
--- Wendy Lee
We could always use just one more.
I'm sure he'd be handy
Whenever Bill's randy,
By helping to guard the door.
--- MrMalo
What followed was just a great folly.
Those doctors do think
They can make a big stink
By cloning our buxom Miss Molly.
--- Chris Tustin
Though I can't think of why they would wanna.
'Twould be eco-disaster
Cause she'd be twice as faster,
Molesting the indigent fauna.
--- MrMalo
Sighs, "Freudians say I'm a loner
Because of my Dad--
Well, Ma can't be had,
I'm thinking perhaps I can clone her."
--- Norm Storer P9403
Use a hatchet to split me from life;
You can bury my ass
Six feet in the grass,
But please don't try cloning my wife.
--- MrMalo
And even his wife the lez.
Then with sister and brother,
They can all lick each other,
And who cares just what anyone says.
--- MrMalo
A human they're wanting to clone.
Imagine the fuss,
If it's one of us;
Small brain and a big pecker bone.
--- Annie Jay
Who kept clones of himself as a lad;
He arranged them on shelves
And taught all of his selves
To shout loudly in unison, "Dad!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Who cloned himself more to enjoy
The girls aboard ship,
But he made a bad slip;
They all wanted the real McCoy.
--- Anon
If I'm duplicated in pairs.
I'd be glad to see
Twenty seven of me;
That way I will always have spares.
--- MrMalo
That's badly increasing the tension.
See, cloning takes years,
Which should allay fears
Of your clone collecting your pension.
--- Somedude
Southerners may be appalled,
When addressing one's clones,
Some grammar one hones --
Is the pronoun They, You, or Y'all?
--- Superdude
Causing some great consternation.
But we'd clone so few,
Not much more than two,
That it's really naught but a sensation.
--- Superdude
Fearing clones will be given low places.
No problem, say I,
Clone some well-muscled guy.
He'll be treated with all social graces.
--- Superdude
"No chance!" say the moralist wardens.
It won't happen, of course,
Who would get to endorse
The Nikes, the Right Guards, and Bordens?
--- Superdude
It's is why we should surely go slow.
But Congressional bans
Would put this in the hands
Of countries that didn't say "No."
--- Superdude
It's time to no longer be hounded.
But when you stand up and speak --
Though you're surely unique,
Should your clones too, stand up and be counted?
--- Superdude
Now it's cattle they're cloning by score.
If they try it with me,
I'll beg them fervently,
To please stay away from my spore!
--- Larry M
About the way clones are made.
With all the trouble
Of raising my double,
At least I ought to get laid.
--- MrMalo
Then if people got mad, they could sue IT.
I could go out and play --
When things got in my way,
I could say to my clone, "You see to it!"
--- Lynn
The money my clone earned, I'd blow.
My pager she'd wear;
I'd not have a care!
Just think of the wild oats I'd sow.
--- Lynn
The dilemma presented is knotty:
Mine's not quite good enough,
But life sure would be tough
If I wound up with something more shoddy!
--- Gerry Busch
About all this business of cloning.
You don't have to undress,
And you don't have the mess
Like you do with the usual boning.
--- MrMalo a
It drives lots of people to phoning.
Is it ever fair
They say in despair,
To ignore all the people moaning?
--- Carl A Benz
"Ethics and morals are foaming!
We've got to decide
If we can abide
With the questions now rampantly roaming."
--- Carl A Benz
Researchers will just find a way:
Private funds. They'd declare
We must clone the gray mare,
And keep federal inspectors at bay.
--- Carl A Benz
Perfect cloning two sheep in a test.
When one stole bags of hay,
Leaving much DNA,
5he cops didn't know who to arrest.
--- Mesterton-Gibbons MG9702
Cloning sheep and now us in a jar.
I'll tell you mister,
I don't want a sister
Who has wool on her back and goes Baaa!
--- H Myers T9801
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