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Well that just about sums it up; Camilla, when out with her daughters, The Diana tapes are revealing, As Brit, now Observer here forces Princess Di as compared to Camilla Camilla and Charlie, the prince, At risk of committing a gaffe, There was a young man who'd be king, Camilla's a worn out old hag, The Wedding of Charles and Camilla, Charlie's wed bride number two; There once was a lady named Jill; I thought that you spoke of Camilla, (Cilla Black, screeching songstress of the 1960's)
Charles stopped drinking his beers, The lengthly boring whole MEGILLAH Prince Charlie, who, rolling his eyes, In Latvia great consternation Now Charles is about five foot six, Prince Charlie, a man of high station, The Princess Diana and Charles, (parle - parley, to bargain - written 1983)
A royalty bloke name of Charles The marriage of Charles and Di Lady Di and Prince Charles lost their cools, To a monarch unusally fecund, Lady Di pouted, "Pooh! He's inhuman, (A E N - idiotic-looking mascot of Mad magazine)
Prince Charlie fell off of his horse; Prince Charles at the helm of regency, Nick Mitchell, Charles called "bloody awful"; Young Harry has now gone to pot; Queen Elizabeth says she will see Lord Peter's a toffee-nosed fool, He sniffs round that ghastly Camilla, But nosing around in the rough Prince Charles and Parker-Bowles are such bores! It's strange Charles refuses to eat It's said that Prince Charles eats sage; Then said Prince Charles of Wales: Poor Charlie, the Prince of Wails, Said the Duchess of Cornwall, quite gloomy, Given so few can abide, Prince Charles in his Welsh principality, (sodality - club, association, fraternity)
I'd hate to be Princess Di, Rinsed down the drain, t'would be waste. Prince Charles talks to plants in his garden; A middle-aged monarch in waiting Prince Charlie has gone suicidal Charles married the broad he'd been bedding; They had a reception, of course They recited a prayer of contrition; Prince Charles and Camilla's big day A funeral...the wedding...same day, This pitiful procrastination Agreed, it's a very sad case, That great concrete post almost missed, The death of beloved Princess Di Wed on TV; died there too! You may call me an evil ogre, But then I must really decline; Those pictures of Di were a fraud; Editor says, "It's a hoax! So Di is innocent NOT, An overexposed prissy wench, Diana, the fruit on my screen, There once was a Princess named Di Major Hewitt's no longer engaged: Diana's brief Royalty fling Anti-Landmine lady of Britain,
I reckon that I'd have to sup
Some 10 pints of scrumpy
To want rumpy-tumpy,
Before our Camilla I'd tup.
--- Anon
Partaking at Bath of the waters,
Gave delighted squeals,
When some electric eels
Swam into their sexual quarters.
--- Jester Jon
That Charles is a cad without feeling.
The fling with Camilla
With face like Godzilla,
He did a poor job of concealing!
--- Observer
A reply: The enigma, of course, is
Camilla, the hag,
Looks like an old nag,
And I thought our old Lizzie loved horses.
--- Anon
Is like strawberry versus vanilla;
But the well-mannered Brits
Wouldn't even throw fits
If Prince Charles were to marry Godzilla.
--- Limerick Savant
Have done their utmost to convince
The subjects of Britain
That marriage is fittin',
And surely makes some kinda sense.
--- Observer
The rest of the world gets a laugh,
'Cause 'stead of his wife
For the rest of her life,
We'll picture her there on his staff!
--- Observer
Who decided to have a spring fling.
He called up Camilla
And asked her "Dear, Willya?"
But she said "Only if there's a ring."
--- Brown
for Charlies no spritely young stag.
The Princes' are dreadding,
Their old fathers wedding,
'Cause she not their mothers wet rag.
--- Anon
Hollywood plans as a thrilla."
Charles as King Kong
And (don't get me wrong)
Her from "Return of Godzilla."
--- Doug Harris P0504
Cast off his sin, said "I do.
Who cares if she's a minger,
My rings on her finger,
While hers is full up with my goo."
--- Jarmo
To look at her you'd feel quite ill.
She was hairy and coarse
And looked like a horse,
But a sex change turned her into Bill.
--- Wobbly
Who seems half a horse, half-gorilla.
Her tits are fantastic,
But they're made of plastic,
And her voice is a match quite for Cilla.
--- Tiddy Ogg
When he found all his people in tears.
When told of the story
Of Diana and Dodi,
The Prince of Wales was all ears.
--- Darcy
Of Prince Charles and soulmate Camilla,
Makes a tedium
Of print medium,
And causes longing for roll vanilla.
--- Daniel Ford
Once drew from his cello, rich sighs.
Now he prefers the wailing
And disjointed flailing
Of Camilla, down between his thighs.
--- Jester Jon
As a girl swipes Charles with a carnation.
She objects to the war;
That's why she did it for;
They cart her off for interrogation.
--- Tony Burrell
And not used to such student tricks.
But this girl is great
At a huge six foot eight.
Thank goodness she didn't use bricks.
--- Tony Burrell
Has troubles with ejaculation.
There is really no cure,
For he spanned pre-mature
To post- during Christmas vacation.
--- Arthur Deex P8308
Like commoners, must have their quarrels.
But to live in the limelight,
As to live on a dam site,
By a damn site must dampen their parles.
--- Laurence Perrine P8308
Had a sex life all snagged full of snarls.
He'd do Lady Di
In the blink of an eye,
Which sparked off the bulk of their quarrels.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Will soon no longer apply.
The divorce date's been set
And all criteria met
To dissolve their betrothal tie.
--- Ron Corlies
Trading crowns for the dunce caps of Fools.
Chuck was caught scoring goals
With Camilla P. Bowles,
And Diana eschewed his crown jewels!
--- John Eggerton
There were countless pudenda which beckoned.
So in number of lays
He enjoyed in his days,
He was Charles the first rather than second.
--- A N Wilkins P8601
For he spends all his time with his bloomin'
Cetacean females.
He's a prince to those whales,
But to me he's just Alfred E. Newman.
--- Don Moore P9211a
Hit ground with considerable force.
Should he play polo?
Some folks say "Oh, no!"
But others just smile, "Yes, of course!"
--- Anon
Could no solitary reason see;
To spread not wild oats,
Spared no sheep nor goats;
Had no MODICUM of decency!
--- Gunjan
He really should be far more careful.
And be certain to choose
The right form of abuse,
That's: "dyke-smashing, spotty dinge" jawful.
--- Jarmo
Well, he's one of that royal lot.
Charles drank booze when young.
He's polluted his son,
And made him an alcohol clot.
--- Tony Burrell
Subjects on her Golden Jubilee.
That means poor Charlie's fate
Is to sit and to wait
To be King in the next century.
--- Warrick Elrod
Who was sent to an upper-class school;
He's too scared to admit
That it isn't a zit
On the face of young Charles, but his tool.
--- Anon
A haggard and po-faced gorilla.
He uses his nose
On account of his hose,
Being hardly sufficient to fill 'er.
--- Anon
Of Camilla's gorilla-like muff
Makes his nose strangely angled
And causes his strangled
And odd sounding vowels, sure enough.
--- Anon
This is file yll
Yet, after they fuck on all fours,
Camilla lies back with relief,
And lets loose a queef,
That reminds Chuck of Mom when she snores.
--- John Chastaine T9710
Wriggling witchetty meat,
While he freely admits
Camilla's fat clit's
A tasty and tongue-tingling treat.
--- Jarmo
He boils it until it turns beige.
The sage he likes most
Is Laurens Van der Post,
Who he keeps in a very small cage.
--- Bill Wall
"I know what marriage entails,
So I don't want a girl
But a jolly young Earl,
To solace my passion for males."
--- G1048
His treatment by the press he bewails.
He tries so much
For the common touch,
But not matter how hard, he just fails.
--- Bob
"I was hoping that you'd sock it to me."
But his Dukeness, the Prince,
Replied with a wince,
"Beg pardon your Ladyship, who, me?"
--- Arthur Deex P0504
Charles and his soon-to-be bride,
A stamp's the sole way
They'll get us today
To lick any royal's backside.
--- Jarmo
Formed a violent left-wing sodality.
When asked why this was,
He replied, "It's because
I am sick of the family mentality."
--- Bernard Levin
Always in the public eye.
Prince Charles thinks it's fine;
Hangs his wash on the line.
We all know that Princes can lie.
--- Anon
For years the Queen Mum has been chaste.
But she gagged on the funk
Of his royalty spunk,
Charles' wad had a shit flavored taste.
--- Anon
He's a twit; we will not beg his pardon.
He wants to help in the war;
He can, what is more;
We'll swap him for Mr Bin Laden!
--- Tony Burrell
For thirty long years has been dating.
Now Charles and Camilla
Can share the same villa,
Officially, after remating.
--- Anon
And committed himself in oath bridal,
Which puts Royal stamp on
The Vice-Regal tampon,
Thus completing his oft-quoted idyll.
--- Jemstone P0505
Their sinful life style they are shedding.
She may become queen,
And Charles thinks it's mean
That his momma avoided the wedding.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
Some guest titles throw ME for a loss.
There was "Fox Hunting Starter"
And "Knights of the Garter",
And also the "Master of Horse".
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
All the guests joined in the rendition.
Royal romping and sinning
From the very beginning,
Made me jealous of what I've been missin'.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
Was postponed when the Pope passed away.
'Cause they can't tie the knot
While he's laid down to rot;
They'd have no guests to eat the buffet.
--- Jarmo
Is causing Prince Charlie dismay.
And that "bloody press"
Is enough to distress
Him, as they wait to hear what he'll say.
--- Observer
On account of the late Pope's cremation,
They should drive the point home
That we've broken with Rome--
And ensure there's TV duplication.
--- Jester John
The clashing of time, if not place.
But my rage and my passion
Is that the Grand Nation-
Al's put back. (That's a horse race.)
--- Tiddy Ogg
But speed the driver would insist.
She didn't know he was on ales,
For 'Diana Princess of Wales'
Became: Fine car? Alas, now pissed.
--- Anon
Brought a tear to the world's weary eye;
Good looking and fun,
A brief ray of sun
In Royalty's dark, cloudly sky.
--- Satori Press
Her life was just a large zoo,
With Chucky the clown
Waiting for his crown;
Oh my, Now what does he do?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But I am willing to be sober
About insignificance
Of this woman's events,
And my relief that it's over.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your words are very much too kind.
They say she is dead,
And that's what I said;
Get over it...It is about time!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If they were real, she'd now be abroad.
In any case, Hewitt,
'Twas known that he blew it,
Or he'd now be a Prince or a Lord.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We publish not just for the jokes,
But the grand titillation
Of half of the nation;
Not for girls, but mainly the blokes."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Margaret's temper, they say, is well hot.
But thank heavens Camilla
Has not taken the tiller
Of Prince Charles' lil' Royal Yacht.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Lived and died in a stench.
She lived in the spotlight,
But then late at night,
Her ride ended up in a crunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was nothing to me, know what I mean?
But a rich twit
Always in a snit;
She's in the ground now, how keen!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked a good dick 'tween her thighs.
Men pulled from her gash
Just in time for the splash,
Which was frequently shot in her eye.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Ex-fiance Ferretti, enraged
Sold his love-letter stash
To a tabloid for cash,
But it won't print Di's words -- scheme upstaged!
--- Paul Hoffman
Assures her of one future thing;
Though she won't wear a crown,
She's the toast of the town
Just my name dropping, "My son, The King!"
--- Evelyn Bogen P9701
By wussy feel-good-ism was taken
In a drunken wreck.
So what the heck,
Let the mines fry them all to bacon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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