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Macho fellows all rush to the store No synthetic lube here on earth It's everyone's friend, KY Jelly. Glycerin's the slickum for me. (ghee - clarified Tibetan butter)
Sex without lube can be tricky, Sex without lube can be tricky, This gal who puts trucks to the test, There was an old lady named Fretter KY jelly and I disagree; Read the news about scientist Rex: For sweet lubrication try honey; Plump Cathy I met at the lake. There's nothing like KY jelly What a beautiful thing, say I; Our love-making paused for some lube; KY will not suffer the fate His kisses were soft and tender. He said, "Hon, are you ready yet?" I see that you're still in one piece. Grease, jelly, or oil for lube, A generous lass of Port Hope, When finally her late menstruation A prudent young fellow named Sam There was a young lady named Chard A machine-built-for-love is Miss Vector, There was a young woman from Florence, There once was a man from Calcutta, Composer Vaughan Williams, named Ralph, A woman of comely attraction KY is the good nurse's friend; I've discovered what all women should, I went to Sensual Treasures They used baby oil when they'd tryst, The crotch of Miss Gotch of Purdue Said super detective Bill Kelly, Great lubricant for all the porking, (Spam juice)
A bowlegged hooker called Flicker, If things got too dry I would hate "What a lovely surprise, yes it's you!" She spread her legs open so wide, So she said, "To get into my hole, "It isn't slide, it's the stretch Tom countered, "Now wait a damn minute! Said John Miller, (in a neck-brace) When your woman has a dry slit, He spit on your crotch? Boy, that's tacky! The kids around here are more moral, Admitting it don't take much scotch, Some gals would be glad that he spat In your mind's eye, picture the sight: "Well, Really!" I have to exclaim. It could be your lack of fellation You picked up the callowest lad. If she's young and she has a dry cooze, Necking with ballplayers? Keep space. On each other we swabbed sun tan lotion; I never shall spurn my true calling, I'll oint up your ulcers with goo, If any young thing tries to "cure" me, But you, my dear girl, get the greases, A hard-working adman named Hicks There was a young cowherd from Shree There's this newly-wed couple named Stout; "It's huge, and it surely won't fit!" Vaseline's really much cheaper, It seems those who sex in Moline
Where condoms are sold by the score.
And pharmacist Kelly
Recommends KY jelly,
For couples who use the back door.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
Will unblock my lim-writing dearth.
I need the slick juice
Of Carol's caboose,
As she straddles my rampant hard girth.
--- Randog
Lube up while you're watching the telly.
I'd give it more cheer
If it tasted like beer;
I'd leave a spare glob on her belly.
--- Frank Fazed
It's warm and quite cheap (but not free).
But sometimes it burns her,
So over I turns her
And grabs for that jar full of ghee.
--- H Welchel
For lube makes it slippy, not sticky.
So for sex with a smile,
Come on, buy a vial,
And grease up that firm tender dicky.
--- Anon
For the lube makes it slippy not sticky.
So for sex with a smile,
Come on, buy a vial,
And grease up that firm tender dicky.
--- Screwball McGoo
Doesn't mind getting oil on her chest.
'Cause with fornication
She's got lubrication,
And she'll grease up your dick with her breast.
--- Anon
Who screwed every week with her setter.
With oleo she greased her
From Christmas to Easter,
Till she found that real butter was better.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1139
That shit just tastes awful to me.
The stuff's slimy and cold;
Makes it hard to get hold
Of the pecker, it's too slippery!
--- Cheryl
MAN INVENTS A SAFE FLUID FOR SEX.
It has protein and chrism,
Purest tofu, no jism,
It's cholesterol-free -- high tech specs.
--- Armand E Singer 910
It doesn't cost all that much money.
But please use with care,
When smoothing down there,
Or things could get awfully funny!
--- Jayne
We had fun. but we made one mistake:
Lubrication was poor
When it's done far from shore.
One result was a sore trouser snake.
--- John Miller
For smearing upon the belly
And slicking the sheets
And your lover's teats,
And even things much more smelly.
--- MrMalo
It loosens things up when they're dry.
'Tis a boon to all
Fat, short, thin, or tall;
That wonderous tube of KY.
--- Spuddie
My lover uncapping the tube.
A furious sneeze,
A spurious squeeze --
And K-Y all over one boob!
--- Anon
Of bad code with the Y2K trait:
They guarantee you
Can insert, not just two,
But four digits at least, in your date!
--- Anon
I knew I would soon surrender,
To that huge throbbing dick,
I was giving a lick;
Just hope that he's not a rear-ender.
--- Anon
I said, "Yes," with some regret.
But, oh boy, what a ride,
When he slipped it inside,
This fuck I'll never forget!
--- Anon
Did you lubricate well with the grease?
Did you quiver and shiver
As dick hit the liver,
And scream in ecstatic release?
--- Anon
Or stuff that comes from a tube,
Is a big sticky mess,
Which causes distress,
In the area of the pubes.
--- Anon
Disliking both liquor and dope,
To make the thing easy
(And slightly more teasey)
Would line the whole passage with soap.
--- Keith MacMillan 56b
Was cause for a couple's elation;
It was smelly and sticky,
But good for a quickie;
It served as a nice lubrication.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was screwing a girl from Siam.
He said to her, "Nellie,
If you don't use some jelly
I am sure you will be in a jam.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0320
Whose cunt was exceedingly hard.
Even Buster McGuckin
Who was used to rough fuckin',
Could not get inside without lard.
--- G0290
So at times her subsexual sector
Just comes to a boil
From a shot of hot oil,
And that last lubrication nigh wrecked her!
--- Grand Prix Lim 328 G0791
So lewd she used lube in great torrents.
She said, "If it's small,
I don't mind at all;
It's abstinence I view with abhorrence!"
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
Who greased up his mistress with butter.
Then he watched in shock
As rats came by the flock.
"I'm glad I put none on my putter!"
--- M S Hunter
Would protect his long dong with a salve.
He exchewed KY Jelly
Because it was smelly,
And thus gave the girls a bad chaff.
--- Scott
Used lotions and creams to distraction.
Her skin was so supple,
Whenever she coupled,
Her lover could never get traction.
--- Alex Heydon P0407
It's used to lube up your end
Before we're inserting
(No, this isn't flirting)
Anything that you don't want to bend!
--- Cheryl
To help keep their man feeling good --
Edible panties and oil
Make temperatures boil --
Thanks to Frederick's of Hollywood!
--- Kaylin
For oil, incense and tethers.
But alas and alack,
It's still in the sack,
Awaiting the right one to pleasure.
--- Azul
But cap would not yield to his twist.
"You'll just have to imagine us
OLEAGINOUS,"
He said as he rubbed his sprained wrist.
--- Norm Brust
This is file xkm
Is the cunthole us guys love to screw.
She takes so many peckers,
We're all now wet-deckers,
And slide in on the other guy's goo.
--- G0725
"At the parish house something is smelly.
There's no baby around;
No wounds to be bound;
They use tons of petroleum jelly."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0211
Can be found in the can when uncorking.
So scoop up pig blubber
When donning a rubber,
And hope it's not Jews that your dorking.
--- J B Zimmerman
Makes money with men who come quicker.
Thus she lubes up with oil
So her lover's don't toil,
For they're quicker when Flicker is slicker.
--- Bob Birch P0107
To use this gross stuff with my mate.
I'd rather he lick;
Things would then soon be slick,
And there'd be no need to lubricate.
--- Annie Jay
Said Daphne, her head in a stew.
"If you've come for a brewing,
Whatever I'm doing,
I'll drop everything for you..."
--- Val Burns P0510Q
Then he tried to get in. Oh, he tried!
But her pussy was tough;
It was sandpaper rough,
And as dry as a desert inside.
--- Cap'n Bean P0510Q
With this cream, let me grease up your pole";
Then she did like she said;
They got back in the bed,
And they screwed themselves out of control.
--- Cap'n Bean P0510Q
That hurts me so much I could retch.
So keep your lube tubies
Away from my pubes;
Be patient and try not to kvetch!"
I will thrust my hardy ham in it.
There's plenty of lube
To loosen your tube.
Relax while I deftly jam in it."
"My wife has punched me in the face;
By mistake, I lubed tool
With straight rocket-fuel!
And blasted her off into space.
--- David Miller
While fucking but don't want to quit,
A simple solution
Is the dilution,
By adding a bit of your spit.
--- Goin2
He must be a Yankee, by cracky!
If a gent from the South
Did things with his mouth,
You'd be sharing his wad of t'backy!
--- John Miller
When thinking great thoughts of thing oral.
It's likely Red Bull
Of which their mind's full,
Not things that their mothers deplore'll.
--- John Miller
For me to engage in debauch,
But I'll even the score,
A new asshole tore,
For any who spit on my crotch.
--- Goin2
To help him locate where it's at.
I found that the spit
Relaxes the fit
And stops me from kicking the cat...
--- SFA
A wad of spit shot from great height.
And then hear the splat
On a virginal cat.
It wasn't exactly my night!
--- Goin2
No doubt you regret that he came.
I'd only approve
Of a wet tongue-in-groove,
But still, I admire his aim.
--- SFA
That prompted this odd lubrication.
When dry organs mate,
They can lacerate,
And sometimes induce decollation!
--- SFA
No wonder your night was so bad;
Assaulting your slit
With his careless spit;
The bounder, the rat, oh the cad!
--- Archie
She can wet it that way should she choose.
And I wouldn't complain,
Because in the main,
The old ones have raunchier ooze.
--- John Miller
Let the kisses stay up on the face.
For grabbing his crotch
Makes him spit with a hhocchh!
That's why you should stop at first base.
--- Bruce
We then got a most pleasurable notion.
I got up on top;
Slid off in the slop;
'Twas a terrible test of devotion!
--- Allen Wolverton
Though others may find it apalling.
Aflame to the end,
I'll toast you, my friend,
With burning gas (when we're not balling).
--- Anon
And pump up your cooter with spew.
I'll call you my babe
And lick off your labe,
Whenever you're stray in the loo.
--- Anon
Appealing within to the "pure" me,
I'll teach her a lesson
And won't use the Wesson,
As up her fine bod, I secure me.
--- Anon
Since truly, I worship your creases.
I'll do you no harm,
Your cockles I'll warm,
And those of your daughters and nieces.
--- Anon
Coined phrases as solid as bricks.
But his brainstorm supreme
Was a plug for some cream:
"SLIP EASE for the penis that sticks!"
--- Armand E Singer 370
Who lubed up his lingam with ghee.
He said, "It's no sin.
Its back where it's been.
The circle's complete, don't you see?"
--- H Welchel
She is stupid and he is a lout;
Though it sounds kind of nutty,
They just couldn't tell putty
From vaseline; their windows fell out.
--- Armand E Singer 4a
She shrieked and she urged me to quit.
But, to her surprise,
It was just the right size
When properly lubed up with spit.
--- John Miller
But it won't make it harder or deeper.
It makes things all slippy,
Or just use as lippy,
And watch his pole climb even steeper.
--- Jayne
Expedite it with white vaseline...
But in San Francisco,
What's popular's Crisco...
For the Calories, it's plain to be seen!
--- Grand Prix Lim 488
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