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When zealots gain control of our nation, Said the delegate, "I get the point; Did you see the Republiconvention? (Bob Dole and Jack Kemp 1996 - Buchanan right wing asshole)
"The two-party system's all right," The convention was packaged and slick; Political parties CONVOKE The method, it's worthy of mention, (On Choosing a Presidental Running Mate)
The trouble with party conventions No easy committee was ours. Political conventions we see, Said the delegate Billy McCoy, Cried our Chief, when he'd read it, in brief: We won't tell the name of the delegate The Florida delegate, Enid, To prepare for the party convention, The Republicans at a convention, Irreverence the delegate preaches; When conventions are called to convene, Texas delegate's rubbing his crotch, We've all seen Bob Dole pull his stock up. Shed a tear for that guy, Alex Haig -- The Secretary of State must be vague, Bill Bennet can sit on my glass How does one picture Ed Meese? Janet Reno completed some math; A lady mayoress, full of glee, Mayor Daley's was twelve and three-tenths, A destitute lady named Beggs Mondale's for spending our pelf -- Modern science has taken us far I said to the Russian Premier, (yellow rain - supposed poison was bee shit)
There once was a man named Sununu There once was a man named Sununu There once was a man named Sununu by Harry Themal)
There'll be no surgeon general's chair "When a senator strongly promotes Today politics is not so great. Why did lightening strike Jeb Bush's plane? Today they released George Pataki, (Governor of New York, '06)
Richard's slur hit George Bush in the gut; Guiliani, the hound for attention We've a rich yuppie gov in N.J.; There once was a Gov. named J. Brown; Observing the bulge in his khakis, (what or who is a Pataki?)
He cried when he lost the election; California will vote a recall (Gov Gray Davis of Calif recalled 2003)
McGreevey is gone "'cause he's gay," (Gov of New Jersey who resigned when he was caught)
Ventura leans well to the right, Some say that Ventura's a ringer, We know Jesse "The Brain" is a dude, KAPUT! That's McGreevey's career (Queer Governor resigns)
My re-election as Gov was a lock, New Jersey, the Garden State, Seems he sent a call girl to the Mister, In our recent past we just had Today they released George Pataki, (Gov Pataki had appendicitis 2006)
Way back in 1849, With latest news I deftly coped A candidate named Arnold said, "Please, On Arnie's first day on the job While attired in splendor sartorial, A gubernatorial tussle Arnold's legal advisor, McGregor, Surely the mind must begger Folks out west in the land call La-La, The L A Times, the Dem's back stabber, On Arnie's first day on the job,
It will cause us profound consternation.
They'll kill Wade versus Roe,
And the first thing you know,
They'll outlaw oral sex and fornication.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
We're here the new chief to anoint.
My voice I will raise
In our candidate's praise,
As soon as I finish this joint."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Many luminaries to mention,
Then Bob and Jack ran in
To Patrick Buchanan...
A bone of Republicontention.
--- Writerman
Declared a campaigner named Dwight.
"But at my age," he said,
I wish to old Ned
That they didn't both come the same night."
--- A N Wilkins P8411
Mr. Clinton's speech sure did the trick.
But alas! He's dismayed;
For a change, he's betrayed
By his OTHER philandering Dick.
--- Stargazer
Conventions to support their bloke.
The faithful all show
To bluster and blow
And claim the opponent's a joke.
--- Chris Papa
Was not of the founders' intention.
Some say with firm voice
He's the nominee's choice;
Some say he's hand-picked by convention.
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
Is they're full of pretense and pretensions.
It doesn't make sense:
That applause so immense
For a fat bunch of honorable mentions.
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
We sat, we debated our powers,
Each motion, each second,
Our chairwoman reckoned
From reading the minutes, took hours.
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
Most NEBULOUS fluff that can be,
A yawn-making boar!
Both the Bush and Gore
Camps are trying to con you and me.
--- Chris Papa
"Those hookers can bring me no joy.
Exhorbitant fees
And they harbor disease.
What I need is a handsome young boy."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
"This really exceeds all belief!
Who'd have thought that our platform
Could ever take that form?
Can't run on or stand it! Good Grief!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8411
Who came from a rural southwestern state;
He said with a sigh:
"Hookers' prices too high,"
Went back to hotel room to masturbate.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Whose advice twenty delegates heeded,
Said, "Why pay a fee?
I'm available free.
Professionals not really needed."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Things were done that the papers don't mention.
A few palms were greased,
And they quickly released
All the hookers from jail or detention.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Had a theme they neglected to mention.
If you're pro-choice or gay,
Black or poor, STAY AWAY!
The "Big Tent" party can't stand dissension.
--- Blaze
He has a hip flask in his breeches.
He explains to the crowd
In a voice clear and loud,
"When I'm sober I can't stand the speeches."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
They initiate efforts to screen
The candidates names,
Their claims and their aims
That affect the political scene.
--- R J Winkler P8411
As he tightens his belt just a notch,
Says, "Of girls I need two:
The first one to screw,
And the second one merely to watch."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
The nomination's a lock-up.
But 'tis easy to see,
The tired old GOP
Is just a white male retro cock-up.
--- CB
He of sentences wordy and vague.
His intention it seems:
Screw the world till it screams --
Make it whimper and grovel and beg.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
And also a good-natured egg.
He must have a big smile
To cover his guile.
We have all this in Alex M. Haig.
--- Ed Wolfert P8205
And spin around fast on his ass.
An enema stout
Will cure him, no doubt,
Of spewing his crap to the mass.
--- H Welchel
As head of our nation's police?
Ambiguous reading:
Is old Edwin leading,
Or fleeing from keepers of peace?
--- Alice Ross P8805
Billy Gates is now feeling her wrath.
This bucks, some do say,
The American way...
"Stomp anyone blocking your path!"
--- John Miller
Dressed herself up as a flea.
When they said, "You're a bore,"
She crouched on the floor,
And bit the Town Clerk on the knee.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Which in anyone's league is immense.
Internationally his peter's
Thirty-one centimeters -
To be shown at the World's Fair for Gents.
--- Arthur Deex P8208
From hunger was on her last legs.
As she walked through the city,
The old mayor took pity
And he slipped her some sausage and eggs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0039
Dusting old party plans off the shelf:
New Deals, New Frontiers,
Cars with no manual gears
So no man need shift for himself.
--- Arthur Deex P8405
Though forensics are sometimes bizarre--
The ID of Ron Brown
When that aircraft went down?
DNA of the hand in the cookie jar.
--- Arthur Deex P9606
"Your ways are charming and dear.
And I find it germane
That you use "yellow rain"
In lieu of a trial by one's peer."
--- Arthur Deex P8302
Who was sure he knew more than you do.
But our Earth is still warming,
While our allies are storming,
And he and Bush "study" what to do.
--- Wildlife Federation P9105
Who was sure he knew more than you do.
He grabbed his computer
To be a disputer.
But of solutions, he hasn't a clue to.
--- Wildlife Federation P9105
This is file vbl
Who was sure he knew more than you do.
He doesn't.
(this series found in a Wildlife Federation press release
--- Wildlife Federation P9105
For the doctor, but looking elsewhere
To find something new
For this wizard to do,
Clint might think about Foster care.
--- A N Wilkins P9508
The dole," the Vice President notes,
"It's not only plain
That he thinks it humane,
But he hopes it will win him some votes."
--- A N Wilkins P8609
Questions of honesty won't abate.
When a governor died,
The media decried,
He was attacked for lying in state!
--- Tom Patton P0604
Just coincidence and heavy rain?
Or did God not approve
A State Library move,
And strike Bush to reveal his disdain.
--- Lims for 2003
And said he could drink more than saki.
But his eyesight is shot
From staring at the pot
And hoping to see a brown kawkie.
--- Mad Poet
We dismissed her as partisan nut.
With election defeat,
Poor Ann's kicked in the seat,
With a big silver foot up her butt!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Now whines that the press shouldn't mention
His marial woes
Or who comes and goes
In his private home, Gracie Mansion.
--- Dr Limerick 05-23-01
Whitman hurts public schools every day.
Her kids learned the rules
In their private schools:
If you pay you can have it YOUR way.
--- MrMalo
To some, he was only a clown.
As Gov, it would seem
They called him Moonbeam,
And now he's the talk of the town.
--- Pete Wilson
The Governor said to his lackeys,
"No, not on your life
Am I hot for my wife,
I am hot for that fellow Pataki's"
--- Blue-eyed Devil
Governor Timmy was not the selection.
They uncovered his past
At a movie, at last;
Adultry in the balcony section!
--- Limerick Man T9801
To force Gray Davis to fall.
Many pundits with views,
Will extol all this news.
As for me, I'll be watching football.
--- The Sailor P0310
While others see it the other way.
From lust and stupidity,
HALLMARK of cupidity,
Of those who will pay as they play
--- Chris Papa
And with bipartisan help he just might
Wage a brilliant campaign,
For a guy who's won fame
By faking a make-believe fight.
--- Bob Birch
But here's the political zinger,
I sure hope you'll take note,
That he'll get my firm vote,
If he runs against old Jerry Springer!
--- Bob Birch
Who wants power in ways that are crude.
He will diddle around
Until he has found
His own level of ineptitude.
--- William N Nesbit
Now that he admits he's a queer.
Though technically AC/DC,
(That term isn't PC)
He prefers a approach from the rear.
--- Norm Brust
But now the whole state is in shock.
I passed many a bill
And governed with skill,
But you know the line, "Just suck one cock!"
--- Norm Brust
Has politics of ZANY trait.
Now Gov's a donor,
He made a huge boner;
Fixed brother-in-law with a date.
--- Phil Kinay
Taped the sap who did more than kissed her.
But Big Shot got burned
When sad lesson learned:
You don't try to blackmail your sister!
--- Phil Kinay
A Governor totally bad.
Who, for his male lover,
Would plush job discover,
Then "outed" by blabbering cad.
--- Chris Papa
And said he could drink more than saki.
But his eyesight is shot
From staring at the pot
And hoping to see a brown cockie.
--- Anon
California's gold did shine.
But they can't muster
That same luster
Casting votes before their swine.
--- Timothy Torkildson
'Cause it isn't the way that you hoped.
The Press is a liar;
It's girls I admire,
And Hitler's the one that I groped.
--- Limerick Savant
I've groped some; it's true. I'm a tease.
Hitler I admire;
He does light my fire;
Not the titties and ass that I squeeze."
--- Dave Winer
He smiled full of cheese at the mob.
"Oh really, you guys...
This is such a surprise...!
Whilst the rest of the world looked agog.
--- Gina Peach
Arnold tried to say "gubernatorial".
Although it's absurd,
He choked on the word,
So Gray will conduct the memorial.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311
Means Golden State Democrats hustle
To stop their side losing
And voters from choosing
A hunk of Republican muscle.
--- Anon
Claims they captured that egg-tossing beggar.
Arnold's payback is edgy:
He gives him a wedgie,
So Arnold, in fact, shorts an egger.
--- Jerry Nordal P0311
At the election of Guv Schwarzenegger;
As that stuff on his face,
(That's ex-Guv Davis's case)
Is courtesy of Arnold, the egger.
--- Stu Lucas P0311
Just went through a big BROUHAHA.
With finances in a crater,
They elect Terminator
And bid clueless governaor ta-ta.
--- Norm Brust
Caused its constituents' YABBER,
'Bout man with strange tongue,
Our Arnold, well hung,
Who found fun as a fanny grabber.
--- Chris Papa
The state was attacked by a mob,
Who saw little humor
In movies like "Junior"
But strangely liked "What about Bob?"
--- Chris Vickery
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