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There was an old guy on the Net, In his closet with heels and roughed lips All this spam smut I must look askance on. Some spam is hard to believe, I knew a transvestite named Ike, A faggot named Percival Kirk There was a young lady from Beel, Though Joanne aimed to move like a fairy, He met this quite cute transvestite. I came here from Beverly Hills, A transvestite gal for a gag She's Alf when undressed? Oh my god A lady who lives near Salt Lake A transgendered pal had to piddle, Howie played girls with the best; An agent named Sy, FBI, A transvestite from downtown Poughkeepsie A modest young lady, St Unt, A man I knew found that his stress A certain cross dresser named Bruce When Mike went out back with the boys The mullah found Abdul a wife; A with-it transvestite named Noah If I keep drinking this whiskey, I'll leer She seemed to be total perfection, Montel, Rikki, Jerry, on video, Transvestites who some call TVs, He can't tell a Lyle from a Lola; I dipped my balls in marinara, "I'm an angel," she said, "in disguise." There was a transvestite called Lily The transvestite was wearing a wig, Young Alex I met once in Cottam, As a Drag Queen, he earned the odd bow, A horny GI from Fort Bragg, A lumberjack logger named Whitey, Before giving your queen a ring, Is transvestisation perversion? Dressed in sweet-suits of satin and lace, There was an Old Man in a boat, A strapping young farmer named Kurt, The pain from harsh words quickly heals, RuPaul is a babe who's in fashion, RuPaul has a web site, I hear; Joan of Arc found her gender a trial; My steamy-hot date hit a snag; There's a guy by the name of RuPaul A lady who lives in Dix Hills His friends view as just a damn shame, A guy met a good looking female, A transvestite with body type burly At the crossdresser's annual dance, "Now why did you rip off my skirt Well, I bought these cute pearls for my ears, I don't understand transvestism. Our sweet Mabel is really a guy. There once was a guy in Bangkok Kevin once dated this chick; There was a young girl from Darjeeling "Please take off my dress," she begged thickly "Tennis? No, not in this dress!" She asked that the priest now should bless her, A young "girl", so sleek and so slim, Most famous cross-dresser of all -- 'Twas a girl with a rep quite PRISTINE, A secret transvestite named Jules
Who loved every girl that he met.
He's engaged to Miss Ann
Who's really a man,
But the poor fool just doesn't know yet!
--- Anoobus
All the sickies Herr Sigmund out-strips.
The dear old professor
Must be a cross-dresser,
Else why all those Freudian slips?
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802
(I admit though that one I did glance on.)
No more will I click;
That gal had a prick!
I know 'cause (s)he didn't have pants on!
--- Irish
Like sobriety on New Years Eve.
It helps us in life,
Like a stab with a knife,
After a night with a girl named Steve.
--- Anon
Whom everyone thought was a dyke.
He caused such confusion,
To aid this illusion,
By choosing a girlfriend called Spike.
--- Anon
Displays a sartorial quirk.
The fruitcake confesses
To wearing girl's dresses;
"Who doesn't", he asks with a smirk.
--- Armand E Singer 328
From her suitors she tried to conceal
A large hairy chest,
With a frilled Sunday best,
That turned her from Sidney to Cele.
--- Rudolf Ammann
There were hints of a past that was scary;
Cosmetically blushed,
She was certainly flushed,
But the skin underneath was still hairy.
--- Val Burns P0510Q
He thought that he might spend the night.
The guy had a beard
And was plumply brassiered.
He said, "'Tis a bit of all right!"
--- Al Willis P9805
A cross-dresser who's just out for thrills.
I tried to impress,
And I took off my dress,
And the guy just took off for the hills.
--- Al Willis P9805
Was matched with a pansy in drag.
A silly seduction
Confirmed the deduction
That heterosex was their bag.
--- G2347
I think you've caused my nuts and my rod
To shrivel up tight
Inside me tonight,
'Cause if she's a guy then, good lord! [lawd]
--- Anon
Took testosterone pills by mistake.
And just as she feared,
She now has a beard
And complains that her testicles ache.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
But where to go? That was the riddle.
'Twixt doors "Gents" and "Dames"
S/he picked neither; the names
Didn't fit, so s/he aimed in the middle.
--- Anon
On stage he could look quite a mess.
But imagine the surprise
In his mothers eyes
When he decided to keep wearing that dress!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Met a girl, put his hand on her thigh.
"With hands under my dress,
I feel I must confess;
When you get to the balls, I'm a spy."
--- Tom Patton P9805
Had partied and got rather tipsy.
He wandered on stage
And soon was the rage,
As the lead in the musical, Gypsy.
--- David Miller
Who had a strange quarry to hunt.
Though 'twas hard to pick,
She was looking for Dick --
That's Richard, her crossdressing aunt!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was much less when he dressed in a dress.
His wife only said,
"You'd look better in red.
And your nails, my dear, are a mess."
--- Joe Thompson
(His favorite color is puce)
Now blushing, confesses
He loves to wear dresses
That fit very tight, never loose.
--- Armand Singer
To tell them they made too much noise,
He found Greg in drag --
And inside his handbag
Was stuffed with the most curious toys.
--- Artie Troll
He knew they'd be married for life.
When he lifted her burka,
He went quite berserka;
She had balls and a hairy skin fife.
--- Parker Waterman P0203
Went along to a dance in Eudoa.
The boa he wore
Molted over the floor:
The crowd saw more Noah than boa.
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
At that cross-dresser in the brassiere.
I won't take a chance
Getting into HIS pants:
The next time I go out, I'll drink beer.
--- Faerie
Who'd give any man an erection.
But you learned when she spoke,
'Twas a cross-dressing bloke
And for such I have no predilection.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Stage anxieties of cross-dressed libido,
Use drag, staight or queer,
With a wink and a leer,
Rouse hetero-fear: "That's not me! Oh!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Seem to wear women's clothes with great ease.
They fit well in high heels,
Although, one sometimes feels,
That they don't do as well as true she's.
--- Bob Giandomenico P2005
He doesn't know beer from a cola.
When the men dress like girls,
With those bras and pincurls,
He fondles a man they call "Nola."
--- Al Willis P9805
While I reapplied my mascara.
My fetish ain't Rasta,
I worship the pasta.
And sometimes I dress like Miss Farrah.
--- Anon
But on checking, I found a surprise.
When her panties were shorn,
A devilish horn!
I'm afraid "she's" just one of the guys.
--- John Miller
Who minced up and down Piccadilly,
In London's fair town,
Wearing naught but a frown,
And some panties draped over his willy.
--- Anon
But did not fool the nosey old prig,
Who said "In the rest room,
Underneath the costume,
I caught sight of his thingamajig."
--- Bob Aldrich P0605
Quite pretty, but tits, she'd not got 'em.
A cross-dresser! Shit!
It's a bottomless pit,
Or rather, a damned pitless bottom.
--- Anon
This is file ucl
Yet he felt unfulfilled still somehow.
Then he played Cyd Charisse
And he found inner peace.
"She was taller than I," he'd allow.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9805
While cruising for tail, meets a snag;
The skirt he undresses
Quite boldly confesses,
"Too bad, soldier boy, I'm in drag."
--- Armand Singer
All burly and macho and mighty,
Was a hell of a sight
In his bedroom each night,
As he pranced about in his nightie.
--- Cap'n Bean P0204
Better make her show you her thing.
It's not such a sin to
Know what you're getting in to;
She might not be your queen but your KING!
--- Florida Man
I find it a pleasant diversion;
Except in the street
Where the gay blokes you meet
Will offer an anal insertion.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The transvestites all gaily embraced,
Then adjusting their straps
They began doing laps,
In what critics might call a drag race.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111a
Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
When they said, "No you ain't!"
He was ready to faint,
In chignon and red petticoat.
--- Edwardian Leer 087
Was often seen in a blouse and a skirt,.
At the local dances
Resisting advances,
But he has to be very alert.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
But think how a cross-dresser feels.
It's a punch and a curse,
And he must drop his purse,
Then run for his life in high heels.
--- Bob Birch P9805
Looking gorgeous, inspiring passion.
Rednecks give him the eye,
As their pickups drive by,
On the way out to do some gay bashin'.
--- Larry Hollister
Which is cool, but a little bit queer.
You can send him some E-mail
To ask if he's female,
And which is his brand of brassiere?
--- Larry Hollister
Cleopatra was oft in de-Nile.
But denying those urges
Which "Ellen" now purges,
Was never RuPaul's chosen style.
--- Larry Hollister
By the end of the night made me gag.
My object of lust,
To my total disgust,
Was a guy named RuPaul, dressed in drag!
--- Larry Hollister a
Who, as cross-dressers go, has it all.
He's got fame and success
(Butt looks good in a dress)
And the ladies' room saves him a stall.
--- Larry Hollister
By mistake took testosterone pills.
She wears panties of lace
But is now singing bass,
And developing lip-shaving skills.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
A transvestite who calls himself Mame.
Some feel his cross-dressing
Is somewhat distressing,
While to others he's just a sham dame.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511
After sending her plenty of e-mail.
With a little romance
He was soon in her pants,
But was shocked to find out she was he-male.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Could sometimes become downright surly
When someone in a bar
Would shout from afar,
"Shed some weight for a figure that's girlie!"
--- J'Carlin
In a low-cut gown, Marlene from France
Reached up just a bit
And showed off some real tit.
"How the hell did he do that?" asked Vance.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102
And tight silky panties?" moaned Bert.
"You know they excite
Me and set me alight..."
"Well, I know you're perverted," said Gert.
--- Peter Wilkins
And some lovely, size forty brassieres.
They discovered that I
Was a bald freaking guy,
And all that I got were some leers.
--- Al Willis P9805
Is it viewing yourself through a prism
Of feminine things,
While your pecker swings?
A strange way to get rid of jism.
--- Frank Fazed
When rejected, you should have asked why?
His most subtle treat
Includes beating his meat,
Whilst thumbing your ass on the sly.
--- Anon
Who suffered a terrible shock.
A girl that he knew
And wanted to screw,
Said, "Hi hon, Can you suck my cock?"
--- Rudi Verheecke
Up her skirt his hand he did stick.
She let out a chuckle
But his knees they did buckle,
'Cause his hand held two balls and a prick.
--- Clint Bement
Whose face was not very appealing.
She had warts on her chest
That poked through her vest,
And ballocks all swollen and peeling.
--- West End Writers
And my hose and my garter belt, quickly,
Now my bra and my pants
And for goodness sake, Lance,
Your transvestite habits are sickly.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802a
Said a guy suffering some stress.
"Tennis is for girls;
I'll just play with my pearls.
If you ask me again, I'll say yes!"
--- Mr Witty
When confessing to be a cross-dresser.
It was no mistake,
It really was Jake,
But of him, we should think none the lesser.
--- Bob Birch P9805
Wore tight clothes that showed of "her" quim.
The blokes they perspired,
Her body desired,
But she wasn't a her, but a him!
--- Anon
Titanic, if you would recall.
With things at their worst
With "women/kids first,"
A man with the cowardly gall....
--- Irving Superior P9805
(Like she wouldn't--you know what I mean),
I took on a date
And found out too late,
Was a guy with a skirt on--obscene!
--- Bob Dvorak
Was found by his wife wearing crewels.
She said in disgust,
"You must if you must,
But are they not tight on your jewels?"
--- Paul Westwood P9607
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