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A lady who lives in Bayonne Those Disney shows to entertain I live in a well appointed harem There was a young man from Key West, While noting the bulge in his trousers, An avid cross-dresser named Dave JimBob, he drove a large tractor. This tall and quite sexy chanteuse A cross-dresser from Crosby, named Sloane, There once was a woman named Jess, As for Charlie wearing a skirt -- Though out of the closet, The Gay; A friendly transvestite, now gone, He took off his bra and his slip; Swaggering macho CEO, Staid, A young lady who went on a trip, It's reported that Franklin J. Krause A transvestite by the name of Downs When he thinks that she sleeps, he tip-toes And the best part of all, I suppose There once was this guy named Stan, I am going to say, you must know, If only you'd stop chewing your cud, Just because she looks great in that frock, I don't think you want to go "there"; I'm puzzled! There's Jane wed to Ann... Weird mores of sex that folks choose What if you wedded a mate I, too, have an ass that's okay, I had an Ass too, so I say... Oh Baby, I've got what you need, Let's rendezvous, babe, at my barn I'll be there at eight without fail, My son's just come back from KL; (Kuala Lumpur) She said that there's one patch of skin, But it is just not that easy to tell He says that one night he did go A lesbian friend of mine said "I'm sorry to bother you, doc, "I'll cut off your dick if you like. You whispered sweet things in my ear; You now wear the dress 'stead of me; I don't like my men wearing dresses. A young man from Fort Meyers Beach "Lovely Lady, it's been a long time, Unfortunately, the man minconstrued; The 'vestite slapped at his paws, The young man, no longer in sight, The moral of this is quite clear: The reason Joe was a cross-dresser, He went to his father confessor He'd not wanted to look like a hag, I like to wear bras and panties; I'm into leather and feathers; Cross dressing gets quite confusing She was such a beautiful sight, "I like your confusion," s/he said. Hot dogs I really don't like, I wear ladies panties all day, So it should not be a total loss, A transvestite hooker called Ted The officer wasn't quite sure There once was a girl from Milan, These gentlemen were really vexed, I think I'll require an admission That rumour I just cannot scotch: "Your micro-skirt, dear, is a dilly;
By mistake took some testosterone.
Now she shaves really well
So no one can tell,
But she sounds like a man on the phone.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
Use adult jokes we must explain:
What is a cross-dresser?
The answer distressed her.
We said, "It's like Uncle Elaine!"
--- Anon
So many sex toys, I can spare 'em!
Pleasure galore!
You'll scream for more!
My panties...Would you like to wear them?
--- Anon
Who dreamed he had two supple breasts.
When he woke, he felt tickled;
He sucked both his nipples,
And found he was wearing a dress.
--- cOOkie
A gentleman, Ashley, carouses
In rubber with zips,
And with sixteen foot whips,
But enjoys it while wearing girls' blouses.
--- Thunderwing
Wore a black leather skirt as a slave.
But his mistress was cruel,
And now the poor fool
Got to wear it that night to his grave.
--- Anon
On weekends he wore some Max Factor,
A bra and a skirt.
He's a terrible flirt,
And a short-sighted rapist attacked her.
--- Anon
Had feet just as big as canoes.
We learned "she" was male,
Dressed in lovely percale,
And Omar was hired to build shoes.
--- Al Willis P9805
Bought a frock in a class of its own.
It filled all the places
Where Sloane had just spaces,
And the boys wouldn't leave him alone!
--- Tim Tudd
Who had seen that her room was a mess.
She looked all around
And soon she had found,
Her boyfriend had taken her dress.
--- Planet Kilmer
While I am not one to dish dirt,
If those are his clothes,
Then his name is "Rose"
And he's getting more than dessert!
--- Anon
Inside the closet will stay,
Silk stockings, brassieres,
And face painting smears,
And heels that make cross-dressers sway.
--- Irving Superior P9805
Would eagerly put dresses on.
Confusion attended
Those he'd befriended.
His headstone now reads "Don" and "Dawn".
--- Sam Chen
I thought that he might skinny-dip.
But he was a stripper,
A saucy unzipper,
And this was the world's first drag strip.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said, "This isn't a joke or charade.
I've bought this darling gown,
Added stars to my crown.
I'll wear both in the Easter parade."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308
Met a cross-dresser onboard the ship.
He envied her clothes;
Put on her silk hose,
Then her panties and lacy black slip.
--- Bob Birch P9805
So looked forward to leaving his house
Saying, "Always on Sundays,
I slip into thong undies,
Mini skirt and a very sheer blouse."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308
Plied his trade in a number of towns.
He would put on a show
For those folks in the know,
Dancing sprightly in satin ball gowns.
--- Tom Patton P0201
To the mirror to try on her clothes.
Then he giggles and bounces
And shows off his flounces
And ruffles and garters and hose.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is the wearing of girlie-type clothes.
As I write I am dressed,
In a see-through pink vest,
Gold high-heels, and white sheer pantie hose
--- Anon
Who had trouble being a man,
Wore a dress and high heels
Drove a car with pink wheels,
And soon Stan became a tran.
--- Anon
I came on to your Aunt with gusto.
She was quite a flirt,
But under that skirt
Was a cock and two balls, Yuck! Disgusto!
--- Frank Fazed
Pay attention, let go of your pud.
I did try to tell ya
Aunt Blabby's a fella.
She doubles as dear Uncle Bud.
--- Faerie
No need to put yourself in hock
To buy her a ring,
For what makes her sing,
Is someplace nice and warm for her cock.
--- Faerie
Keep a close eye on your underwear.
Staying seated might do,
And a toupee might do too;
I've heard she likes men with no hair.
--- Faerie
There's Joe who changed over to Jan...
That lass of the Halls
Has titties and balls...
And Deb sucks her dog -- not a man!
--- Anon
Are making today's headline news,
While red-blooded males,
Like me, still chase tails
Of women...OK!...and some ewes.
--- Travis Brasell
Who felt that her sex's a mistake.
And then on a whim,
She changed "her" to "him";
Would you expect "it" to still copulate?
--- Anon
It's old and the hair's turning gray;
It still loves (no kiddin'!)
To daily be ridden,
By gals who will feed it sweet hay.
--- Anon
He married me one August day.
Then 20 years later...
He turned woman hater...
And alimony he did have to pay!
--- Anon
My bale of hay is sweet indeed!
Come on over here,
Let me ride that steer,
And when I'm done, I'll let you feed.
--- Carol
And roll in the hay till a yarn
Is spun for the telling,
And we are both yelling,
And neither of us gives a darn.
--- Travis Brasell
So sit yourself down on that bale.
Shoo those chickens away,
So we've room to play,
And we'll spin ourselves some nice tail.
--- Carol
This is file ubl
A barmaid told him how to tell,
Before you undress her,
If he's a cross-dresser,
If he/she's a fella or gel.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A razor can't thoroughly skim;
To save yourself trouble,
You feel for the stubble,
That's bound to lie under the chin.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A fellow who's dressed as a gel.
Those impersonators
Now use epilators,
So chin stubble gets yanked out as well.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To see those guys in a strip show.
They all had their dongs
Tucked into their thongs,
So there was just no way to know.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"In KL, met a girl name of Fred. (Kuala Lampur)
All seemed fine
Until the time
Her dong showed its face" -- was she red.
--- Countrygirl
But what can I do with my cock?
It's always erecting
And therefore affecting
The style of my favorite frock."
--- PeterW
With this scalpel a singular strike
Will ensure that it falls
To the floor with your balls;
Then you'll look like a regular dyke."
--- PeterW
You told me that I was your dear.
Now how can that be
That you deceived me.
I cannot believe what I hear.
--- Tjarda
You wanted the female to be.
You can play that part,
Make it into an art,
But I'm not into "travesty".
--- Tjarda
There is no man who impresses
Me as much as a man,
Who acts like one, can.
From that man I want my caresses.
--- Tjarda
Spied a beauty just out of his reach.
He became quite a flirt,
As he tugged on her skirt,
And dropped to one knee and beseeched:
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Since I have seen an ass quite as fine.
If you give me a minute,
I'll put something in it;
'Twill drive you right out of your mind!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The damsel was really a dude!
And when he turned 'round,
The young man soon found
'Twas a transvestite to whom he'd been lewd.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"In this city, Sir, we have laws!
But come to my pad --
I'd really be glad,
To let you get into my drawers."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had disappeared into the night.
The man, in a panic,
Had acted quite manic,
And had run home with all of his might.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Be wary of gender, my dear!
An ass, though quite magic,
Could prove to be tragic,
With an unfortunate poke in the rear!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He'd answer his mother with "Yes Sir."
His father said, "Damn!"
He answered, "Yes Ma'am."
"He's gender confused," his Confessor.
--- Irving Superior P9805
And said, "I am now a cross-dresser."
He talked about bras
And slips made of gauze,
And the padre became the aggressor.
--- Al Willis P9805
But his boobs had started to sag,
Balloons filled with water
Don't stay where they oughta;
This cross-dressing's really a drag!
--- Bob Birch P9805
Just love the feel of silken scanties.
They say sticks and stones
Can cause broken bones,
While whips and chains make some guys randy.
--- Gearhart
Body oil, paints, and tethers.
Seems masochism
Brings out my gism,
But never with guys wearing leathers.
--- Gearhart
And can, at times, be amusing.
At night on the town
In my evening gown,
Not sure what 'room' to be using.
--- Gearhart
That gorgeous blonde transvestite.
She/he said, "See here, Toot,
I've both quim and a root,
But my pooper's an outright delight.
--- Tutta Gioia
"You'll be on your toes in my bed.
What is your wish,
Hot dogs or fish?
I'm looking and cooking ahead."
--- Karen
That macho and meaty old spike!
But a dish of fresh fish
Is what I would wish
From a loving and sexy young dyke!
--- Tutta Gioia
But I find that they easily fray
And the gussets and seams
Come apart in my dreams,
But that won't stop my habit, no way!
--- PeterW
Those panties of yours you should toss.
Then go and put on
Some reinforced cotton;
They last longer, that's why, because!
--- Arden
One morning was picked up by Ed-
dy Murphy, who cried,
"I just gave him a ride!"
But for a black man, his face was sure red!
--- Anon
Were their intentions obscene or quite pure?
He couldn't be certain,
his head was a hurtin'
Was Teddy a him or a her?
--- Anon
Who had many a masculine fan.
They wined her and danced her
Until they depantsed her,
And found out our girl was a man.
--- MrMalo
Spending all of their time oversexed.
When Mister Milan
Showing elan,
Said, "No matter, bambino, who's next?"
--- Arden
From gents here who have such volition
To wear women's undies
On weekdays and sundays
Or I'll not accept your position!
--- Anon
The feel of that lace on your crotch,
Is simply divine,
When it still bears the sign,
Of once having cradled her notch.
--- Anon
It's pretty and sexy and frilly,
And, honey, don't pout
At work when folks shout,
'You're free-swinging willy looks silly!'"
--- Anon
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