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Wilbur scoffed at the threat of the coffin, There was an old fellow named Skinner, (Once firmly implanted within her.)
My mast, which I call my joint, Said a patient young lovely in Winnipeg, A lonely young fellow named Jim A boastful young man they called Rick So I looked at the kid with a frown, Poor men! When the gods would demean us, The problem, of course, is his wick; There was a young fellow named Prynne, He's smaller than what he alleges, Once a young British Army deserter A fellow who lived in Berlin Said a modest young thing, Marguerite, There once was a freshman named Lynn, This gem, through modestly it hides, What? His girlfriend did say, While screwing his sister that night, There was a young man from Berlin, There was a young man of Fall River, Ingenious a fellow named Hubbell Beide kurz und zu schmerzlos -- das bin ich, His pecker was the size of a pencil; There once was a man name of Ballion Beloved bouncy bottoms so sweet, Algolagniac roues from Leeds (algolagnia - finding sexual pleasure inflicting pain)
"Come here and say that!" she said, Wee leprechaun Willy O'Mix That is quite a mouthful you're bleating, Why is that whip in your closet? Jemima, for mumbling her name, A sweet little angel called Beck Since we both seem to share the same itches, Her bottom was craving some heat, My lithe lovely lascivious lady, A sweet little Miss known as Patti A naughty young girl is our Jane; Cranky and crabby she was. Rectal hygiene is easy. Now, ahem, to the business at hand But dear, what should next be my dream? The red satin sheets are all wet now Strapped down to the bed, can't you move? ...That black leather g-string, for heat... But just that...the anticipation Now back to your penis I go But further up...now to your face; I'm straddling you, now I'm taking Eating pussy gives courage to Skip Ah, the bliss of an evening well spent; ...A movie or two to our liking; How I cherish my little spankbunny, Naughty Lucy will stand in her room Why is that whip in your closet? I ordered Miss Sherrie to strip My friend John's a respectable banker It causes me greatly to squirm, There once was a girl from Seattle I hope that this type of love making I get hot just thinking of handcuffs; Just hit me and I will behave Please whip me and flay me and flog But turning to my dreams of late, There was a young schoolboy named Wayne, Said the leatherman to his admirer, There once was a nasty old fart,
But he'd gone to the well much too often.
To be sure, his intentions
Retained giant dimensions,
But his physical portion would soften.
--- Isaac Asimov
Whose prick, his wife said, had grown thinner.
But still, by and large,
It would always discharge,
Once he could just get it within her.
--- L0233
Has worn to a very sharp point
So it can insert
without any hurt,
Any pussy I choose to anoint.
--- Anon
"My Willie has such a damn skinnipeg...
But there's been certain nights
When it gave sweet delights,
So it's better that not having ANY peg!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 877
Couldn't get girls to have sex with him;
Although his dong
Was twelve inches long,
Five-eighths of an inch is too slim.
--- Blowcephus TP9802
Said: "I'll show you a fine nine inch prick.
See this one of mine?
Half of eighteen makes nine;
So I fold it, ain't that a trick!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
And I told him "You're really a clown.
That's your tie there, you fool.
When you do grow a tool,
It will be quite a bit further down."
--- Tiddy Ogg
They allow, when we meet Venus,
The fount of Love where
There's little to share,
Endowed with a PILIFORM penis.
--- Chris Papa
By no stretch of mind is it thick.
Even when lit,
It still can't quite fit;
A heftier torch does the trick!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose prick was so short and so thin,
His wife found she needed
A Fuckoscope--she did--
To see if he'd gotten it in.
--- L0219
Though he brags to the pretty young pledges.
He claims that his dong
Is thick, long and strong,
But it's more like a Benson and Hedges.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8303
Asked his girlfriend if intercourse hurt her.
She replied, "Sometimes, Tommy,
If it's big, like salami,
But not when it's like your frankfurter."
--- G0308
Had a dick that was long and quite thin.
When he diddled the ladies
Who were carrying babies,
He was blown by the foetus within.
--- Robert Elliot
Whose charms were both neat and petite,
"Though quite long, your prick is
Not nearly as thick as
The tool of my other friend, Pete."
--- G0401
Whose tool was as thin as a pin.
A virgin named Joan,
From a bible-belt home,
Said, "This isn't much of a sin."
--- Anon
He curls it up in his insides.
But females do not grin,
Despite how far it goes in,
'Cause he's only a centimeter wide!
--- Anon
Put that in my mouth? No! Ixnay!
To pick my teeth good
I'd rather have wood,
So put your wee willy away!
--- Anon
Achmed had a bit of a fright.
He thought that he saw
His brother-in-law;
It stayed in, but not nearly as tight.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0306
Had a prick most exceedingly thin.
With this long slender peter,
He could screw an ureter,
If only he know how to get in.
--- G0253
Whose tool was a thin as a sliver.
It would dart in and out
Like a speckled brook trout,
But the scales always made the girls shiver.
--- G0326
Who well knew the heartbreak of trouble.
When his prick got so thin
That it wouldn't stay in,
He bent it and stuck it in double.
--- Armand E Singer 516
As I'm told by a maiden that's Finnish;
She likes wangers that wince
Till her eyes up and squints,
While mine is both klein and zu thin-ish.
--- Hugh Clary
"No 2" on it he'd stencil.
But it was kinda handy,
You could even say dandy;
It doubled as tooth picking utensil.
--- Anon
Whose pecker was shaped like a scallion.
He said to Miss Mole,
With her quarter inch hole,
At last I've a place I can dally in.
--- Little Potts P8604
How I long for the day when we meet,
Taking turns overlap
For hand paddle and strap,
Till we both are ablaze with the heat.
--- Rosy B Goode
Do indulge in the queerest of deeds.
They lay on with quirts
Till blood flows in squirts,
To satisfy deep-seated needs.
--- Armand E Singer 73
Then she bonked him right upside his head.
He turned a quick stare,
Then made her butt bare,
And spanked her and put her to bed.
--- Robert Bowden
Met Deborah Dominatrix;
She beat without mercy
His poor little percy,
With twiglets and willowy stix.
--- Anon
And methinks you are ripe for a beating.
But here in my house
If my husband, the louse,
Agreed, he would go without eating!
--- Anon
My suspicions it does sure posit.
Preferred in black leather
I'd like to know whether
The tip's single or really composite.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had her bottom well-spanked with a cane.
She thought it quite good
To be misunderstood,
If it meant getting more of the same.
--- C M
Was guilty of bouncing a Check.
Panties down all the way,
Kicking wildly away;
Would she do it again? In a sec.
--- Robert Bowden
I consider it bounteous riches,
When I think of what she
Will be owing me,
I thank heaven that we are both switches!
--- Rosy B Goode
This is file tol
So she set out to get her butt beat.
But she found out that fire
Would come from his ire;
Now she can't even sit on her seat.
--- Robert Bowden
Who I'm planning to take somewhere shady,
With a nice alder switch,
I'll make her sweet buns twitch
By the cold water bubbling cascady.
--- Rosy B Goode
Was acting perplexed and quite scatty.
She couldn't keep straight
When she's due from her date,
So she got a good spanking from daddy.
--- D A Landhill
She went parking in a dark lover's lane.
When home she returned,
She found that she'd earned
A date with the hairbrush and cane.
--- D A Landhill
When asked why, she said, "Just because."
So her panties were dropped
And her bare bottom popped,
Till a climax retracted her claws.
--- Robert Bowden
Try S&M if you are queasy.
If you get in a rut,
Let a Dom spank your butt.
Sometimes it does pay to be sleazy.
--- Christopher
(My recovery was wonderfully grand)
Just took me a minute
To get right back in it
But more "torture" I think I could stand
--- Anon
My fantasy's fulfilled it seems...
But I'm just growing hotter...
It seems that we oughter
Get back into this...have some cream.
--- Anon
But that it is no bother my pet, now
It's my turn to cuff you;
If you've had enough, you
Have only to yell out, OH WOW!;)
--- Anon
Oh, poor baby, your fears I will soothe
With a lick, and a kiss
Oh my darling, won't miss
An inch of you! First I'll remove...
--- Anon
I think that I might use my teeth
And the tip of my tongue
I think that will be fun
And then I'll take a taste of your meat!
--- Anon
Will make for the better erection
A flick of the tongue
On your nipple, oh come
And let's disuade your fears of rejection!
--- Anon
It's hard as a rock now, and so
Put it in my mouth
Makes me so hot down south
Back to your torso I go
--- Anon
I hope you won't think it disgrace-
Ful; Open wide --
Time for tasting my thigh,
And where it joins pussy and lace.
--- Anon
My panties off...dear, are you quaking?
Now I bring down my cunt
To your lips, your tongue hunts
For my clitoris...FUN in the making!
--- Anon
So when feeling his nerve start to slip
He dives for the pearl
Of the nearest young girl
And returns with a stiff upper lip.
--- Anon
How I hope that your tool is not bent!
For a little bit later
My sweet alligator
If you're not too tired, we'll rent...
--- Anon
The bed and the sheets so inviting
After all of this rhyme
Dear, it's cuddling time
Then back to our hot, sexy writing!
--- Anon
Who is making my insides feel funny,
As she leads me to guess,
Oh dear, I confess,
That her tongue can turn flesh into honey.
--- Rosy B Goode
Looking into a dark corner's gloom,
And her seat will remind her
Of what is behind her:
A lesson in cleaning her room.
--- D A Landhill
A new sexual bridge? Shall I cross it?
I want something new
For my pleasure, it's true.
But if that's your best offer, I'll toss it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And receive several strokes of my whip.
But while doffing her scanties
She stopped short of her panties;
I was lost -- for she gave me the slip.
--- D A Landhill
But he's gnawed by desires like a canker.
"A girl there should be
To take over my knee,
Where I'd pull down her panties and spank her."
--- D A Landhill
When I think of her buns cute and firm,
Bouncing under my hand
While she feels really grand
As her squeals and her wiggles affirm.
--- Rosy B Goode
Who loved to be spanked with a paddle.
She'd jiggle her rump
In hopes of a thump,
And prayed that her son wouldn't tattle.
--- Anon
Does not turn you off, I'm forsaking
My normal conserv-
Ative nature, I'm sure
But it's all in the fun of the quaking!
--- Anon
And being tied down, it's so rough!
Be gentle my dear
But if you'll spank my rear,
You'll have a faceful of pussy and cunt-fluff.
--- Anon
Like your very own toilet slave.
I'll be your bidet,
You command, I'll spray.
I'll help you stay clean, fresh and save.
--- Anon
And call me a shit-eating dog,
With piss for a brain.
When you pull my chain,
I'll jump up and give you a snog...
--- Anon
One thing puts me into a state.
Though I'm not one for pain,
I'll come again and again
With a little love-smack from my mate!
--- Anon
Who cried buckets if he got the cane.
With his hand looking red,
He went to dad and said,
"I've got a low threshold for pain."
--- Arthur Pattaffy
My last partner, I had to fire her.
I asked, "Take off you hood."
But it did me no good,
For I found I'd no longer desire her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who thought paddling women an art.
He was right on, of course,
And he felt no remorse
For the bottoms he'd paddled right smart.
--- Robert Bowden
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