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An animal trainer I knew My 'roo and I screwed on the couch. Now Aussie, I know you're a sport, Old Travis is prone to consort; I've heard that they're rough and they're ready. While Archie was trying to hump After she had been had in Sedalia, An incredible beast is the kangaroo-- A braggart who's shameless and showy, The strangest of things he will do A marsupial type (quadruped) A randy young Aussie named Paula There was an old pander from Perth There once was a Koala who said, I once met this girl from down under, Hiding in trees full of blossom The possum, (in latin, 'Didelphis') In Australia we root kangaroos, Poor Joey lay still in the pouch, After tippling two six-packs of brew, The braggart is shameless and showy; A bestial bum at Bronx Zoo There was a young fellow from Woolagong; Us guys want an Australian, too. I sit, tossing off, on my couch, Said Tiddy, "My preference is ewes "But kangaroos have a strange smell," Lack of dating has made me a grouch, A far better notion, young man, There once was a lad from East Fife Now I know you do not screw I now have a Wombat and two Wombats hide under the ground; Australia's a moving place There was a young man named Calhoun, Not subtle, the female baboon; There once was a sacred baboon, The male baboon's courtship was crass; A baboon with a RUTALANT rear A fellow got drunk in Scott's Bluff -- Said the twice divorced lady named Sue Santa Claus had a big monkey; Male Bonobo monkeys, they say And when they are having their fling Now geneticists seem to agree At Los Angeles Zoo there's a crop Feng-Feng and her lover named June, An innocent gal at the zoo, The monarch of ancient Kowloon Jane Goodall fed wine to a chimp; A scientist known as the Whiz, There was a young man from Rangoon; In Oggland, most Sundays in June, A prudish young lady named Drew The monkey was preening his mate, A lecherous Greek I'll call Gnossos A keeper of monkeys is Andy, Her cunt swells as big as a blimp, There was an old man of Khartoum, With his chimp on a leash, an old Hunky There once was a fine lass named June There once was a dragon call Mick, Now Mick had a thing for a bucket, A man from the south of the Somme, The Griffin's a curious creature, Wonderland's leading lass, Alice,
Is in love with a nice kangaroo,
So he pockets his pride
As they live there inside
Of the tolerant Kalamazoo.
--- Keith MacMillan A064A
For his honor, I can certainly vouch.
When he started to woo,
He said, "I love you,"
And pulled a condom from out of his pouch.
--- Actaeon
And sometimes have been known to cavort.
So I have to wonder
When you are down under,
Would you ever a KANGAROO COURT.
--- Observer
With Bessie he's know to cavort;
But I have to wonder,
If he was down under,
Would he ever a kangaroo court?
--- Observer
I've talked with a friend and he said he
Thinks that all that jumpin'
Makes difficult humpin',
'Cause it's hard to hold their butts steady.
--- Observer
The nearest marsupial rump,
The kangaroo jumped
And then suddenly thumped
Him and injured his balls and his stump.
--- Peter Wilkins
A sexwise young thing known as Thalia
Remarked to Big Tad,
"Though you're really not bad,
I prefer kangaroo in Australia."
--- Grand Prix Lim 100
Gives his mate a marsupial bangeroo.
She spreads legs asunder,
He enters Down Under,
With his firm, aboriginal whangaroo.
--- Richard Lederer P9603
His face gets contorted and glowy,
Whenever he brags
About when he shags
His loveable pet -- a young joey.
--- Archie
When horney, and needing a screw,
A hand, or a sow,
A sheep, or a cow
Or go kanga a friendly young 'roo.
--- CM
Explained to her husband named Ed,
"From sex please abstain
And endure the pain,
As the kids are asleep in their bed."
--- Al Willis P9708
Went down on a furry koala.
And she nearly flipped, 'cause
She'd taste eucalyptus
Whenever the bear's spunk she'd swalla.
--- Scott
Who kept a koala from birth.
Her tiny vagina
Just couldn't be fina
For his pecker of minature girth.
--- TuttaGioia
"I am willing to give out some head."
From far away they came,
Just to get in the game.
And they all say that he is well fed.
--- Nigeyboy
Whose family and friends had all shunned her.
It had something to do
With a male kangaroo,
To whom she had offered to plunder.
--- H Myers
Was Hilda the horny opossum;
With both of her hands
She'd grab he-possums' glands,
And divinely proceeded to toss 'em.
--- Anon
Has a twin-shafted dick on his pelvis.
The females two wombs
Absorb all his spume.
He can come twice without feeling selfish.
--- Actaeon
And possums, wombats and emus;
Not like 'Lone Star State'
Where the sex is third rate...
They'll only fuck something that moos.
--- David Miller Q
As Kanga bent over the couch;
He knew he would rue
What his papa would do,
And he did; and poor Joey cried "Ouch!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Willie staggered and swayed to the zoo.
His bestial ways
Caused gossip for days,
For he ravished a she-kangaroo.
--- G1207
His face gets contorted and glowy,
Whenever he brags
About when he shags
His loveable pet -- a young joey.
--- Travis Brasell
Tried it out with a she-kangaroo...
He was slated to fail,
For one flail of her tail
Knocked him cold from ten-thirty till two...
--- Grand Prix Lim 627
His marsupial fetish was truly wrong.
I don't like to asperse,
But he's very perverse;
If only he'd just use his wooly dong.
--- Robert Elliot
Who's nether a cow nor a ewe.
So now do you know
Just where we should go
For some nice Aussie box of a 'roo?
--- Travis Brasell
And dream of a beast with a pouch.
If you stick your rocket,
In a wallaby's pocket,
Do you or the 'roo holler "Ouch!"?
--- Tiddy Ogg
When I am unable to snooze."
To which Archie stated
"They're much over-rated;
The best are those wild kangaroos."
--- Observer
Injected old Travis Brasell,
So I'd rather choose
What chews cud and moos,
'Cause that's what most oft rings my bell."
--- Observer
So I'm fondling my balls on the couch.
Desirous to date,
A kangaroo, mate,
And with luck I'll hop into her pouch.
--- David Miller
Than Archie's rodential screw plan.
A fine bit of tail
From a 'roo cannot fail,
If manage to catch 'em you can.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who took on a 'roo for his wife.
While probing her pouch,
She let out an "OUCH!"
Then she hopped right out of his life.
--- Archie
Any sheep; though your didgeridoo
Does stand at attention
At merely the mention
Of wombat or red kangaroo.
--- Peter Wilkins
Marsupial grey Kangaroo,
Some white-tailed Galahs
But nothing that "baa's"
And Monday I date an Emu.
--- Archie
It's hard to know if they're around.
But if the earth moves
Before you make looves,
You'd better get off of its mound.
--- Archie
This is file nok
On the backs of the wombat race.
It's not easy to know
How many we grow;
There's more than we can keep trace.
--- Archie
Who kept, as a pet, a baboon. ( pet was a red-assed baboon.)
I don't think is comely
To feed your baboon with a spoon. (to wank off your pet..)
--- G1216
For her, no ladylike swoon.
With sex in her head,
He ass gets quite red.
It's hard to ignore such a moon.
--- Larry Davis P8412a
That lived by the river Rangoon.
And all of the women
That came to go swimmin',
He'd bang by the light of the moon.
--- L0576
His wooing impressed not his lass;
He said, "Babe, I'm a catch!
We could make a great match!"
She said, "I'll say! Your face and my ass!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8408
Is ready to mate, so I hear.
The very next stage
With male in the cage,
Will occur through the bars, have no fear.
--- Elois
Went looking one night for strange stuff.
He woke up at noon
Next to a baboon;
It kissed him and said, "Strange enough?"
--- Donald Dimock
Who spent many nights at the zoo,
"I'm from New York, not Mars,"
As she slipped through the bars,
"Between husbands, a monkey will do."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
His wife said "Groovy and funky!"
He'd search in her twat
To find the "G-spot"
And when he'd come, it would be chunky!
--- Chilly Willy T9712
Greet each female they meet in the day
With a matter-of-fact
And most intimate act --
An arboreal "roll in the hay."
--- John E Mayhood P9807
On a branch or a vine or a swing,
Kama Sutra editions
Don't show the positions
They use when they're doing their thing.
--- John E Mayhood P9807
That the Bonobo monkey and we
Nearly match DNA
And the way that we play
Seems to fit that conclusion. Whoopee!
--- John E Mayhood P9807
Of chimp pregnancies no one can stop.
Yet of males in the fold,
Two are toddlers, one's old,
And the others have all had the chop.
--- Prof M-G
Gave a hand job to their pet baboon.
June scooped up every bit
Of the gob that was spit,
And fed it to Feng with a spoon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On seeing what chimpanzee do,
Exclaimed, "Welladay,
If they're playing THAT way,
Wouldn't folks find fun doing it too?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 867
Was known to be struck by the moon.
At the full moon he'd creep
In the jungle, asleep,
Attempting to fuck a baboon.
--- G1265
She plied him with champagne and shrimp.
She jumped on his bones
And rattled his stones.
And now the chimp walks with a limp.
--- Al Willis P9710
Looked into some strange monkey biz.
When he peeked through the keyhole,
To observe a chimp's pee-hole,
What he got was an eyeful of jizz.
--- Neal Wilgus P8511
At the sight of a bottom, he'd swoon.
His wife's butt was pale,
Unstripey and stale,
So he ran off with a female baboon.
--- TuttaGioia
We'll get sticks and bells and balloon,
And go dance the morris,
While ladies like Doris
Go zoowards and mount a baboon.
--- Anon
Watched monkeys make love in the zoo.
She said, "Procreating
Seems MOST nauseating...
It can't be I was made that way, too!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 681
When he told her, "Your hiney looks great";
Then they screwed in the breeze
At the top of the trees
With a force that was highly innate.
--- Cap'n Bean P0402
Yearned to diddle a monkey's proboscis,
So he leapt in its cage
But went off in a rage
When the zookeeper swatted his wha'zis.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8408
Around those small primates so handy.
Wwhenever they screw,
As monkeys oft do,
It certainly makes Andy randy.
--- Julia Strawn P8711
But tight! Oy! Me dick's in a crimp!
She screeches so loud,
I feel kinda proud...
There's nothing like fucking a chimp.
--- Anon
Who kept a baboon in his room.
"It reminds me," he said,
"Of a lady who's dead."
But he never would tell us of whom.
--- B Bourchier or W R Inge
Went to visit a whorehouse in Bunkie.
Although he had his fun,
She said when he's done,
"I'd rather be screwed by the monkey!"
--- A N Wilkins P8408
Who was buggered by a singing baboon.
"'Twas both good and bad,
The best sex I've had,
But the dumb beast can't carry a tune!"
--- Jeeves
Who liked to play with his dick,
He came with a force,
That would strangle a horse,
Stating loudly that that was the trick...
--- Anon
Remarkably it came from Nantucket.
He breathed on it so hard,
His flame sorely marred
The poor thing and basically fucked it...
--- Anon
Was charged with molesting a gnome.
The pervert protested,
"Why was I arrested?
Together, we were both alone!"
--- Phil T
With both lion and eagle-like features.
His 'nads are all furred,
And he flips his own bird;
He's as likely to screw you as eat 'cha.
--- Actaeon
Got into unusual malice.
In search of some cock,
She laid Jabberwock,
And developed a sizeable callus.
--- Actaeon
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