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To an unmarried lady named Hintz, With all the abortions each morn Said a girl to a friend from Milpitas, There was a young yuppie named Cort There was a young girl of New Guinea, (Pinny - pinafore)
Blowing things out of proportion The logic shown here is erratic; "Pro-lifers," he says "are so dumb, "Pro-choicers deserve the same adject- This subject I've watched on the net I read and I crack up with mirth; And what of the fetus's brain? Killing the docs to stop killing? The pro-choicers won't admit, maybe For us Rimfolk, it's ever so easy. (rimfolk reproduce by budding)
There once was an innocent miss, The Feds will work hard to save face, Now it's two hundred men they will pay So I'd guess it ten million a year If they fail, then the shit hits the fan, Because of her careless contortion, A grey-headed tutor named Porson, Cecilia of ample proportions It's a gruesome procedure, it's plain; A medical student named Lee Nikki Frey caused a wound that still festers (Nikki Frey was axed editor of Los Angeles Mensa News)
A months-along woman named Ellie There was a young preacher named Boyce A religious young lady named Lunt Holstein Bessie her rancher berated; Those Pro and those Anti abortion The American Way, highly vaunted, Now a kid who at birth is rejected The results of this strife are implicit: This affects you and me, if you please, As our system of justice congeals, From the wings steps our modern-day hero; Future rapist, Chief Justice, or thief What wisdom could a male draw upon? The chicks in the group known as NOW Conception or when baby's born? An unemployed pauper named Mort, "Free Choice," the determinist said, An abortionist said, "It's an art, You know lawyers just hate to get burned, As the big wheels of Justice grind slow, A female who stands for free choice The anti-abortion pair smiled, For freedom of choice we've such thirst, Let's hear it for Roe vs. Wade! The start-of-life premise is flawed -- Last Christmas I screwed Fanny Hill, Born partial, braves scalp 'em, that's true, (Indian reservation to offer abortions if state banns)
In hearing the abortion debate Replace these two terms meant to cheat us. On Freedom of Choice, we agree, Conception or when baby's born? Of all of the problems that meet us, A lad his dear parents had thwarted I grieve at the sight of Ms. Polk, My recent erotic contortion The passionate pussy on Fran There was a young girl from Madrid, There was a young girl of Madrid A careless young girl named McMinns The abortion team is in a stew;
The mention of sex brings a wince.
In a burst of exuberance,
She sheathed Peter's protuberance,
And she's just been aborted of quints!
--- G1669
Now performed on young ladies forlorn,
You don't need lots of nerve
Or a closed timeline curve,
To die months before you were born.
--- Kay R Devicci
"There's a doctor in town who will treat us,
For feminine ills,
And hot and cold chills,
Or even abort a young foetus."
--- L0945
Who begged of his wife, "Be a sport;
A good education
Befitting its station
Will bankrupt us both -- please abort!"
--- Armand E Singer 730
Who got very large 'neath her pinny.
She thought it was wind,
But found she had sinned,
And she had it removed for a guinea.
--- G1729
Lead me to protest abortion.
I find it much fun,
As I load up my gun,
Much easier than plain old extortion.
--- John Miller
Together with a stand, dogmatic.
That is just my view.
I'd never call you
A weird, twisted, right-wing fanatic.
--- John Miller
If allowed, they'd protect their own come,
With sheer force of arms,
And see no one harms
What they leave in their queer boyfriends bum."
--- John Miller A
tive, who think that (somehow, as my magic)
Since the kids head is IN,
To kill him's no sin
And late-term abortion's not tragic.
--- John Miller
For over a decade and yet
No one's made any sense,
Offense or defense.
No post ever will, you can bet!
--- John Miller
'The soul enters the baby at birth!'
In or out of the hole,
Who knows what's a soul?
Have you any idea what it's worth?
--- John Miller
Do you know when it starts to feel pain?
When the size of an oyster,
It's tasty but moister!
Don't worry, they'll never complain.
--- John Miller
Such irony I find fulfilling!
The logic is bad,
Makes pro-choicers mad,
All prospects for compromise chilling.
--- John Miller
Not all the protestors are crazy.
(Do you know there's a clinic
Where the owner -- a cynic --
Sells photos of Folks With Dead Baby?)
--- John Miller
If our kids turn out bad we're not queasy.
We wait 'till they're ripe
Then we cook them like tripe;
But to pick them too soon we find sleazy.
--- John Miller
Who feared she'd conceived from a kiss.
So, as a precaution,
She had an abortion,
But naught was forthcoming but piss.
--- L0946
Finding Rudolph, using high tech to trace
Him -- Whatever they've got!
But good gracious! What
If he's long since departed that place?
--- John Miller
To keep Rudolph from getting away.
(It may be black humor
But I've heard a rumor
He's training to pull Santa's sleigh).
--- John Miller
To get this manhunt into gear,
With results just the same
As with Saddam Hussein
Or the Prez, Christ! The prospect's so drear.
--- John Miller
So the Feds will do all that they can.
If they can't find the right guy,
They'll shot some less bright guy
And fake it -- They will get their man!
--- John Miller
He belly was out of proportion.
Though she had gone astray,
It was only part way,
So she asked for a partial abortion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1407
From some strange amatory contortion,
Believed he'd conceived
A book, but relieved
Himself by a pamphlet abortion.
--- L0972
Took all contraceptive precautions,
But thin little Ermintrude
Let a small sperm intrude.
Do you know a good man for abortions?
--- L0973
Mere description should cause you great pain.
The kid is not dead,
All is born but his head,
Which they shrink by removing his brain.
--- John Miller
Once ravished a taunting P.T.
She sobbed, "How I rue
Taking a rise out of you;
Now please take the rise out of me!"
--- G1678
And the Mensa crowd rushed to divest her.
To improve mankind's fortune,
She favored abortion
In the N > 3 trimester.
--- Arthur Deex P9503
Regretted the bulge in her belly.
She scorned its distortion,
Preferring abortion
To long lonely nights by the telly.
--- Armand E Singer 507
Who spoke in a very soft voice.
But his message was clear,
And he spoke without fear
Of a woman's own freedom of choice.
--- Bob Birch P0206
For abortions did go on a hunt.
But she should have, by heck,
Took that cross from her neck
And suspended it over her cunt.
--- Al Chaplin P0303
"Having calves has made me so jaded!
I've become a cynic,
So I went to the clinic
And aborted - now I'm decaffeinated!"
--- Anon
Are using both fact and distortion.
Those Pro always voice
A Freedom of Choice,
Those Anti: "Abortion! Abort! Shun!"
--- Irving Superior P8911
On occasion is tragically haunted
By ladies in waiting,
Eight months after mating,
Deciding their child is unwanted.
--- John Miller
More often than not is neglected
Or outright abused,
And grows up confused
And angry and wild and dejected.
--- John Miller
This is file lim
A lifestyle which trends towards illicit --
To a person who steals
Or does shady deals
Or calls on the phone to solicit.
--- John Miller
As a part of the criminal disease
That ties up our courts
And generally thwarts
Our desire for a life-style of ease.
--- John Miller
There's a need almost everyone feels,
To nip in the bud
This nefarious crud
And curtail all those senseless appeals.
--- John Miller
As proudly as Hitler or Nero.
No need for the courts,
He simply aborts:
The appeal rate is virtually zero.
--- John Miller
Or, imagine! Commander in Chief!
He so skillfully drains
These kids of their brains,
Thus ensuring careers that are brief.
--- John Miller
With abortion, to voice pro or con.
If the path you can't trudge,
Are you then one to judge?
Is this the gospel according to John. (John Miller)
--- Goin2later
Hold free choice more needy than chow.
Abortion is in,
To flush out the sin
Of girls who screwed up, boy, and how!
--- Tucker D Ott P8912
If ever it's settled, next morn,
"Does HEREAFTER start
When stop beats the heart
Or when we are Heaven upon?"
--- Irving Superior P8911
So poor, sex was his onliest sport.
Had a `tween-the-sheets tousle,
A real spousal arousal,
Then forced his poor frau to abort.
--- Armand Singer
"Is Satan at work in one's head.
For can't you guys see
That girls who think free,
Do really, through fate, find our bed."
--- Tucker D Ott P8912
Efficiently aborting a tart.
Though the prudish disparage
This type of miscarriage,
It stops 'em as soon as they start."
--- Grand Prix Lim 847
So the cause of the fetus is spurned;
They can't pay in advance,
So they haven't much chance
Of getting the law overturned.
--- John Miller 0033
Our mistrust of the system does grow.
So let's all get active,
Make the law retroactive,
And apply to some people we know.
--- John Miller 0033a
Now surges and raises her voice.
Should sloppy guys bang her,
No rusty coat hanger
Shall make this non-mother rejoice.
--- Tucker D Ott P8912
But declined to adopt, though beguiled
By their own party line,
Which they declare divine.
They'd been offered a "special needs" child.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607
Any kid in the way will be cursed.
You can suck out his brain
To be flushed down the drain,
Just as long as his head's not out first.
--- John Miller 0359
Now us lechers can safely get laid.
With no need to support 'em,
We merely abort 'em,
And doctors get handsomely paid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Life begins when the sperm starts abroad.
Let's give aid and protection
To a proper erection --
A stiff prick should be praised before God.
--- Phil Cannibal P9001
Who swore she was taking the pill.
But guess what she's done;
Aborted our son,
And now she has sent me the bill.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And babies past trimester two.
In Injuns no fools,
No breakum the rules...
In second, braves no countum coups.
--- John Miller
Are two foetal terms that I hate.
"My body" is one --
"The baby?" come on!
But "parasite"? -- That would be great!
--- H Welchel
(Concocted by pundits who treat us
To self-serving laws
That further their cause)
Say "parasite". (Not just the foetus)
--- H Welchel
The most famous Choice in history --
Remember the scene --
Agreeing will mean,
We'd answer, "To be or not to be."
--- Irving Superior P8911
Repeatedly asked by Don Juan.
"Does Life, Dear, begin
When I put IT in
Or after IT has withdrawn?"
--- Irving Superior P8911
There is one that I fear will defeat us.
It is not the big bomb
Which we face with aplomb --
It is: What shall we do with the fetus?
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2703
And with hoodlums and harlots cavorted.
Said his mother, so stern,
"You have caused me concern;
'Twould be better had you been aborted."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2816
A victim of some cosmic joke;
She never aborted
Although she resorted
To three giant-size bottles of Coke.
--- Armand E Singer 596
Soon led to a furtive abortion.
The procedure, unsterile
And fraught with great peril,
Was painful and cost me a fortune.
--- Martin Wellborn P8910
Wears out the most virile young man.
Now and then -- just a maybe --
This results in a baby,
But she flushes them all down the can.
--- G1659
Who learned she was having a kid.
By holding her water,
Two months and a quarter,
She drowned the poor bastard, she did.
--- L0938
Who found she'd be having a kid.
She swallowed a rubber
To kill the poor bugger,
And out came a Dunlop non-skid.
--- G1685
Was loaded with twins for her sins.
The doc mixed and elixir
He told her would fix her,
But McMinns is still loaded with twins.
--- G1682
They haven't a clue what to do.
The ladies in waiting
Are all agitating,
Cause the ferrets escaped down the loo..
--- Anon
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