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Get ready for love all through June; So come on guys, June will be jumpin', I guess we'll be lacking the men, They're no housekeepers, Missy Maude's whores; The roaches, on floors, will be staying. Big old Mabel's delightful to hustle; A sign in a whorehouse entreated: Since there's been a her and a him, Said clever West German Karl Munch, There was a young lady named Clive; "All gentlemen please get in line, "We have easy financing, too, When Maude's here, guys should not chew; This Maude, dear sir, is just fickle. In my youth, five cents went a long way; A young Limey soldier named Fells, The cathouse on Stuckzipper Lane An absentminded old man, name of Joe, An entrepreneur name of Muntz Said the mayor, "It has been some years (Not near cemetary)
This bordello outside Craigellucky Madame Lee advertised on TV: SMALL popcorn is now popcorn LARGE; Although real estate can be bad news, (stew - brothel)
"I say, what an ignorant fellow! A young college student namd Matthaus There was a young man from Cape Sponge; Sly reformer, the prudish John Wence, All the girls thought it a grand charade Remember dear lovable Chuck, "I need some instruction, dear Pete," "There's Amy, the tart with a heart", So I drew one of these 8===>, labeled A, "Part A; is that mine?" muttered Chuck. So A, 8===>, I relabeled as C. "But what is this part labeled C?" "This chart; may I take it and read To succeed in the brothels at Derner, An aged Rumanian whore, Gabor, The rich freshmen enrolled up at Yale An Annapolis madam named Gideon, There was an old fellow of Berne They picked an old whore without peers; There's a stately old house on the Seine; To help with adulthood's beginning, As part of his schooling, young Kent There was an old strumpet named Glynn, A bionic young hooker named Pitts To try her new safety appliance, A thoughtful old hooker named Jewell Young Joe, who was not in the groove, A worn-out old harlot named Pyle A nympho from Abergavenny There was an old whore, Winifred, The zipper got stuck on my fly; By not growing wheat, farmer Fox She's called "The Professional Sinner"; Maud, for a lifetime, just whored, To the doc went the whore of St. Anne's, At a derelict brothel, whore Snyder, There once was a young singing whore, The best way for training a whore, A wily old codger named Ryerson A sordid old whore of Fort Meyer The resourceful old hooker from Brighton A charming young lady from Brussels
Our whores will make you shoot and swoon,
When you feel how loose
Their quims are from use,
And you lick the tang from their poon.
--- Travis Brasell
The whole month's intended for humpin'.
You're sure to find love
When you give a shove
Inside that whore's tunnel you're rumpin'!
--- Travis Brasell
That month while they play in that den,
With Maude and her whores.
Hope that their pus-filled sores
Don't ooze and infect them again.
--- Carol
Leave your shoes on when entering their doors;
Your footing gets sticky,
All crunchy and icky,
'Cause roaches are stuck on the floors.
--- Allen Wolverton
But not on our whores when you're playing.
Our whores, quite determined,
De-bugged and de-vermined
Themselves with that Raid, they've been spraying.
--- Travis Brasell
A surprise now's where once was a bustle!
When she grips your fat todger,
It's hard to dislodge her
Big tough pubococcygeus muscle!
--- Allen Wolverton
"Pay twice if your act is repeated.
We are no fools,
So stick to the rules,
Making sure that all leaps are completed."
--- Jane D Hughes P9205
From Saigon's piasters of Diem,
To shekels of gold
In Sodom of old,
There's always been commerce in quim.
--- Larry J Davis P9205
"Don't think that I'm way out to lunch.
As a horny young fellow,
I'll just buy a bordello;
Like grapes, whores are cheaper per bunch."
--- Armand E Singer 136
The house than she kept was a dive.
Though her business did grow,
She had prices so low,
She could even give change for a five.
--- Albin Chaplin
The whores here at Maude's are real fine;
We're having a sale
On selected tail:
Most whores will be $3.99!"
--- Travis Brasell
If cash flow's a problem for you.
We'll mortgage your house
And won't tell your spouse!
So come on and try something new.
--- Travis Brasell
And her snatch ain't exactly fondue;
For the old hermit, Dave,
Threw her out of his cave;
As he screamed "She is one rotten screw!"
--- Travis Brasell
She's cheap and will tickle your pickle;
While she may be rotten,
Have your, sir, forgotten
That last time you paid just a nickel.
--- Travis Brasell
But old Maude said, "Dear boy, that's OK;
Just don't blow bubble gum
Lest it stick to my bum;
Spit it out 'fore you eat my souffle!"
--- Allen Wolverton
When he took three-day-passes to Wells,
Put up at bordellos,
For as he told the fellows,
"Whorehouses cost less than hotels."
--- A N Wilkins P8406
Is the place about which I complain.
They go in for strange vices
At exhorbitant prices,
And my bank account's feeling the strain.
--- Grand Prix Lim 605 G1872
Knocked on the door of a bordello.
The madam, named Ann,
Said, "You've had it, old man."
"I have? Then how much do I owe?"
--- Bob Phillips
Owns all of the good beds in Lunz.
So if you must screw,
You owe that damned Jew;
You pay for the beds plus the cunts.
--- Armand E Singer 341
No bordellos have been built, for fears
They may raise the dead!
And residents dread
Having stiff coming out of their ears.
--- David Miller
Faltered not in pursuit of the buckie.
Since it first was begun,
It has followed the one
Simple dictum, "No money, no fucky!"
--- Keith MacMillan 100b
"Next week, all second blowjobs are free!
And don't forget May:
One third off each lay!
In June prices go down, as do we."
--- Michael Weinstein P9206a
Those bills with a sneaky surcharge;
One/half will divorce
The reason, of course:
The prostitutes take Master Charge.
--- Irving Superior P2006
The Vatican bankers don't lose,
For they know they can earn
A consistent return
From rents on elite Roman stews.
--- A N Wilkins P9205
Have you never been in a bordello?
For choice tits and bums,
There everyone comes,--
Why son, you are shaking like jello!"
--- Laurence Perrine P9206
Studied up for exams at the frat house.
But the boning done there
Didn't start to compare
With the boning he did at the cathouse.
--- G1834
Bad thoughts he was taught to expunge.
And when all the young fellows
Went into bordellos,
He decided he should take the plunge.
--- Albin Chaplin
Screamed, "I entered this house on pretense!"
But the Madam and "Girls"
Were atop him in swirls,
Though his protestations were intense.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0101
And quite diligently plied their trade,
Until the new John Wence
Said, "I'll spare no expense.
They've converted me now, I'm afraid."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0101
Who was frequently down on his luck?
Well, he's surfaced again
With his miniscule brain,
And he's desperate to learn how to fuck.
--- Peter Wilkins
He said, blushing as red as a beet;
For I've just met a girl;
Now my head's in a whirl
And I'd sure like to give her a treat.
--- Peter Wilkins
I explained, "who could teach you the art
Of seduction and more."
"Well I'm really not sure,"
Mumbled Chuck, "Could you draw me a chart?"
--- Peter Wilkins
And then merrily two inches away
I drew this (o), labeled B
And said, "Chuck, do you see?
You put A into B when you play."
--- Peter Wilkins
This is file hcm
"That's my boy," I said, "How do you fuck?"
I put A into B?
But my name starts with C;
Please relabel it 'case I get stuck.
--- Peter Wilkins
He said, "Thanks Pete, now C is for me.
But my head's in a whirl
For my girlfriend's named Pearl."
So Part B, (o), I relabeled as P.
--- Peter Wilkins
"It's a penis." "And this labeled P?"
"Is a cunt", I enthused,
Feeling slightly bemused,
For it seemed topsy-turvy to me.
--- Peter Wilkins
It tonight while I'm doing the deed?"
"Why of course, my dear Chuck;
Have a jolly good fuck",
I said, hoping to hell he'd succeed.
--- Peter Wilkins
One always begins as a learner.
Indentured at six
As a greaser of pricks,
One may rise to be fitter and turner.
--- L1010
Taught her daughters the art and the lore,
Of keeping the house
When shedding a spouse.
It beats peddling ass door to door.
--- John Ciardi
Hardly knocked it at all on the rail.
To prevent the temptation
For crude masturbation,
They'd frequent Polly Adler's for tail.
--- A N Wilkins P9205
Used to say on inviting a middy in,
"Now, lad, don't be nervous.
It gets hard in the service,
But my girls all have soft tums to tiddy in."
--- John Ciardi
Whose son was the cause of concern.
For girls were perplexing;
He knew nothing of sexing;
So they went to a whorehouse to learn.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0042
The father fucked this one for years,
But the son was so thrilled
When his wants were fulfilled,
That he wed the old whore, it appears.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0043
Well regarded by French noblemen.
Of a style Ill Repute
Known as the Institute
For Turning Young Boys into Men.
--- Laurence Perrine P9206
When a teenager's hormones start spinning,
A pimp and his spouse
Have established a house
Where a boy can learn all about sinning.
--- Norm Storer P9205
To a fancy bordello was sent.
With just enough coins
To rent one pair of loins;
When the money was gone, he was spent.
--- Norm Storer
Who went to the gym to keep trim.
There was nothing mysterious
For the matter was serious;
Making love as a business is grim.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1531
Had replaceable vulva and tits;
Quite quickly detachable
And easily matchable,
A real treat for her Johns: perfect fits!
--- Armand Singer
A cautious young miss in Alliance
Laid three men free to test;
Now her worry's at rest
And she gets a big fee from her clients.
--- Grand Prix Lim 311
Said, "Life can be dirty and cruel,
But always on Sundays,
I slip on fresh undies;
It gives me a sense of renewal."
--- Armand E Singer 586
Could not get the whore to approve.
So she let little Joe
Fuck her twice in a row,
For she felt there was room to improve.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1537
Got gack into whoring with guile.
She took off for a week,
And returned to her peak --
All she did was sit tight for a while.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1640
Named Jennifer, couldn't get any.
She moved down to Rhyl,
Where giving men a thrill
Meant many a penny for Jenny.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who redid her room gold and red.
She received much acclaim,
But the reason men came,
Was to view her new spread on the bed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1697
Embarassed, I thought I would die;
But a lively young tart,
Yanked the whole thing apart;
Said: "Love, it's no time to be shy!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Got subsidy grants by the box.
But his daughter, a whore,
Made a bundle, much more,
And her grant was for not raising cocks.
--- Albin Chaplin
Twenty bucks and she lets you get in her.
If given a fifty,
Things really get nifty.
Ten more and she'll take you to dinner.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Till her hole grew so big, men got bored.
So she sewed up the thing
With a long piece of string,
And now they just pull on the cord.
--- G1887
And her visit fit into his plans.
He checked her cirrhosis
By means of hypnosis,
Then he reamed out her cunt with his glans.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2275
When a customer would not bestride her,
She turned them arount
And announced "I shall mount!"
Whence it follows the whorse was the rider.
--- Hugh Oliver A114A
Who could take on ten men, but no more.
She would sing through each fuck,
And if you were in luck,
You'd get in on the musical score.
--- Bob Birch
To keep doing her sexual chore,
Is to make her remember
Two kinds of good timber:
A big cock and a damn two-by-four.
--- Travis Brasell
Advised a young lad, "Don't you buy her, son,
Till you see by the bore
That you've got a good whore,
And you've taken a minute to try her, son."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2274
Was screwed for two bucks and no higher.
But her faults were correctable,
And now she's respectable,
For the price of her ass is much higher.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1518
Men's experience wanted to heighten.
She dressed in black leather,
Tickled balls with a feather,
And douched with pure alum to tighten.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0203
Takes pride in her vaginal muscles.
For any erection
Her timing's perfection
And she never hurries -- she hustles.
--- Archie
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