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To Mrs A CROSTIC; Love divine. True Love, I fly with loins on fire, For those who would live love in life, There once was a lass with mind witty, Performers with ACUMEN, The perceptive wit of ACUMEN For specific purpose, done AD HOC, Young lady, with smile but no frock, Delivering AD LIB's fast and fat, Most of my limericks are AD LIB, A man should never AD LIB Politicos who can AD LIB The spontaneous speech of AD LIB, So much for our history tribal; The unclothed world of the ADAMITE Eve, the first ADAMITE dish, That "snake" that she dealt with was his, The "fruit" that he ate, I can say An ADDER is one who makes sum, We've only his word to ADDUCE, He invaded their rooms or would date them, Dead animal tissue, when spoiled, (formed when meat soaked in water - McW)
New York clubs have a weird ADIT: From Latin times, entrance is adit. Whenever the mood comes to fix When Congress attempts to ADMIX I don't know enough of those things, If you see something that's adnascent, ADONIS, a handsome young Greek, ADONIS, loved by Aphrodite Aphrodite's cute youth, ADONISH, When external source ADSCITITIOUS, Of my many ways ADSCITITIOUS, Doggies do indeed ADULATE Foreshadowing future, ADUMBRATE, His manhood he'd oft ADUMBRATE, Politicians, 'round the truth they skate, When choosing among a buffet's dishes, His wife became very suspicious, When young folks are out on a date, Of smut I will oft ADVOCATE; For all causes I'll ADVOCATE, Allowing lawyers to ADVOCATE, Many causes are in a stew, Intern, presidential AEGIS, Elected to Congress, we earn When protected by sponsor's AEGIS, AEGIS is something one's under, His degree is a damn photostat, Hurrah for the smart AEGROTAT, Light and whimsical as this guy Gary is, In beauty and art does AESTHETE In "Patience", a glum-faced AESTHETE, I once met an AFFLUENT gent; The abundance from the AFFLUENT If you're AFFLUENT, the riches are flowing, Take agammaglobulinemia: I am completely agog and aghast The aged AGELAST went to see An AGELAST of dour mien, I must get this off of my chest: That grouch has a big smile shining, It shouldn't come as a surprise It's election time -- hear all the cries. The pejorative self-AGGRANDIZE Balkan War, some folks will surmise,
Recline with me on bed, room nine.
Your bosom sweet,
Small perfumed feet,
To me are fruits of fecund vine.
--- Elois
With haste remove your street attire.
I'll sex abjure,
Sheath not secure.
'Thout skin, no sin, no spent desire.
--- Elois
Who'd fall free from suffering strife,
And sorrows human,
Need the ACUMEN
To be happy, husband and wife.
--- Chris Papa
Quite smart and exceedingly pretty.
And many a lad
Wrote: ACUMEN she had,
They couldn't spell "perspicacity".
--- Chris Papa
Who go by the named of Blue Men,
For hue of face
With tact and grace,
Enthrall our children human.
--- Elois
Enhances dinner like some cumin,
Avoiding cloying
Dullard and toying
With spicy stories to illumine.
--- Daniel Ford
Discover new ways to turn rock:
Lift toward, if you'd take
A look at the snake,
Whose bite makes you laughing stock.
--- Daniel Ford
On billboard created some shock
To old folks around,
Who in their youth found
Offense in such morals AD HOC.
--- Chris Papa
Has emphasis on verbal spat.
I admire the form
But stick to my norm.
"I wish that I could have said that!"
--- Chris Papa
And you'll see I'm not telling a fib.
When I say I'm after
Plenty of laughter,
And guffaws that tickle your rib!
--- Barb
To cover up a little fib.
It's usually much cheaper
To pay the gatekeeper,
The one that came from Adam's rib.
--- Norm Brust
Use facile tongue in ways glib,
May make sense little.
Ideas are as spittle,
That collects on our dear baby's bib.
--- Chris Papa
Though entertaining, is a tad glib.
We do envy those folks
Conversational jokes.
Deny it and you're telling bad fib.
--- Daniel Ford
For its content I am not liable.
But surely such stuff
was raunchy enough,
Thus first printed book, voila bible!
--- Chris Papa
Does seem inviting to me, alright,
But in deep clover,
Any bend over
Would seem to invite the Sodomite.
--- Daniel Ford
Got hubby to grant her dire wish:
The quite randy schnook,
Of that fruit partook,
With results that were not delish.
--- Chris Papa
Which he used for sexual biz.
When she wanted goal,
She'd talk to it whole,
And he'd comply with a "Gee whiz!"
--- Chris Papa
Was part of the usual foreplay,
Which got Eve all wet,
And you can sure bet
Made her a nice compliant lay.
--- Chris Papa
Or snake whose bad bite is a bum.
Though poisonous creeper,
I must say, it's cheaper
Than where some accountants come from.
--- Chris Papa
That Don Juan would ladies seduce.
He catalogued those
Her purportedly chose,
But no offspring did he ever produce.
--- Chris Papa
And later he always would rate them.
But odd it does seem
That in this male dream,
He never once did impregnate them.
--- Chris Papa
And its molecules battered and roiled,
Adipocerated, may
Make us hasten away,
Since with adipocere, it is spoiled.
--- Anon
If bouncer won't know you, you've had it.
While glitterati ease
Straight on in, if you please,
I think it's a rather crass fad, it.
--- Chris Papa
Its a quiddit subject to edit. (subtlety, equivocation)
So exercise caution
In using such notion.
Set it up well to get the full credit.
--- Daniel Ford
Desserts that make sly gassy tricks,
Sweet taste, heaven sent,
Which later needs to vent,
Some jolly oatmeal just ADMIX.
--- Chris Papa
Monies with sex and politics,
They will need a cure
For motives impure
And leather-clad dominatrix.
--- Daniel Ford
Of leather, chains, and iron rings.
Now which of the two
When everythings through,
Wears kneepads that Monica brings?
--- Chris Papa
It means it's growing up adjacent
To some other thing,
Inert or living,
About which it feels complacent.
--- Rory Ewins
Gave Aphrodite's breast a tweak.
"All women love me,
And soon you will see
The fount of great joy that you seek."
--- Chris Papa
But not by Zeus, the god almighty,
Fled quick from the mount
And that's why we count
Him among the quirky and flighty.
--- Daniel Ford
Though mortal, could really astonish
The Olympic Gods.
They must have been clods,
For that youth was nearly moronish.
--- Daniel
Like roots of a plant adventitious,
Takes on long-named airs,
Some will say, "who cares?"
And dismiss it as repetitious.
--- Daniel Ford
There is one some folks find suspicious.
Confession complete,
I like aquavit,
Which, in small nips, is delicious.
--- Chris Papa
This is file hcl
The "owners" who provide each plate
And assorted feasts
For the crafty beasts,
Who don't have to hunt, only wait.
--- Chris Papa
Does seem to belie some odd dumb fate,
In which the substance
With some insouciance
Is shadow, only at any rate.
--- Daniel Ford
Suggesting that his was first rate.
But as it would rise
To just peanut size,
He's now known as Mixed Planter's Date.
--- Chris Papa
While simple views they ADUMBRATE;
Doing press interviews,
Handing out IOU's,
While their assistants pass the plate.
--- Norm Brust
I look for something ADVENTITIOUS.
I avoid convention
Hoping cook's intention
Will be novel, as well as delicious.
--- Norm Brust
When lipstick stains ADVENTITIOUS,
Appeared on his collar,
And started to holler,
"What kind of bad Karma you wish us!"
--- Chris Papa
Their parents don't oft ADVOCATE
A journey too far,
Nor kiss in the car.
It's been know to increase the birthrate.
--- Observer
With such stuff my limericks rate
Among those supreme.
Though to some it may seem
Offensive; just ask my dear mate.
--- Chris Papa
If their moral intents equate
With principal tone:
To leave me alone
To enjoy my primitive state.
--- Chris Papa
We may set the stage acerbate
The festering sore,
Threatening us more
And all our common sense abrogate.
--- Daniel Ford
'Cause they blend into a ragout.
If you have a beef,
Make your message brief,
Then you can ADVOCATE and eat it too.
--- Norm Brust
Situation quite prestigious,
Led only to sex,
And public to vex,
Over behavior too egregious.
--- Chris Papa
Its AEGIS although we adjourn --
Which helps us enjoy
Each girl and each boy,
Seducing each intern in turn.
--- Nick
We expect no spam to besiege us.
So sham becomes shame
With more of the same,
From the profane and sacrilegious.
--- Daniel Ford
Maybe protection from thunder,
Or place where among
Authority's sprung,
When needing to cover-up blunder.
--- Chris Papa
That's because it's an AEGROTAT.
But the dude doesn't care
As he utters, with flair,
"Sir, would you like fries with that?"
--- Frank
Who never for his exams sat.
But who is let in,
To get a sheepskin,
And e'en wear a mortar board hat.
--- Chris Papa
I still wouldn't call the guy AERIOUS.
He's not light on his feet
But if ever you meet,
You should take care to keep track of where he is.
--- Cary Hallock
Find kindred spirits sweetly greet;
His lines poetic
Point tete-a-tetic
Till her Grace does punishment mete.
--- Daniel Ford
Had ladies all swoon at his feet.
One day, you know it,
Another poet,
Became the fickle gals' "Sweet".
--- Chris Papa
He winked and I knew that that meant!
He'd wine me and dine me;
Give jewels to "shine" me;
'Twas in vain. He was impotent.
--- Barb
Has some consequences pursuant.
That which overflows
Soon down the stream goes,
And is seen by us as effluent.
--- Daniel Ford
And you know the direction you're going.
But it will never stop
Till you get to the top.
There will always be someone you're blowing.
--- Eric Seaberg
There is a malady dreamier.
One's blood is without
Antibodies, no doubt,
But it's bloody good for academia.
--- Anon
That anyone is a agelast.
'Cause laughter for me
Is surely the key
To a life fill with happiness vast.
--- Sheryl A Lemma
A saucy tart who "tricks" for a fee.
She said, "Hey there, hon,
You're not too much fun.
If you laugh, you can have one for free!"
--- Sheryl A Lemma
Had peculiar way of just seein'
The sad part of life,
With tragedy rife.
And was a miserable bein'.
--- Chris Papa
Though I write these things just in jest,
Still he who laughs last,
Unless an agelast,
Is always the one who laughs best.
--- Gary Hallock
And life, a new silver lining,
Because our old boy
Has found his new joy,
By engaging in strip mining.
--- Chris Papa
That our public servants, so wise,
Whose salary is small,
Live well after all,
And with graft and greed AGGRANDIZE.
--- Chris Papa
Their party each must AGGRANDIZE:
Every huckster's at pains
To secure short-term gains
And the channels are flooded with lies.
--- Eva Amata
Is more common nowadays to my eyes.
The ego inflating
Preening and prating,
Do make success material lies.
--- Daniel Ford
Will not lead to Bill's Nobel Prize.
It's easy to read
This naughty misdeed,
As attempt to self-AGGRANDIZE.
--- Chris Papa
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