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I'm sure that I won't hurt your feelings "Joanne's so emotional," wrote "Joanne has a naive condition," While not one inclined to go braggin', At last I know just what went wrong; Squirt hot buttered sauce on my face? A woman preferred her Lifesavers My baby's like me, poor and reckless. My dorky ex-roommate Pierre "You promised the film would be tasteful, "Oh God! Will we ever get done?" When she's finished I come in her eye, So just how is my favorite girl? Having signed on today, am I dreamin'? There once was a woman named Grace, From watching porn movies, I'm wise A shower of hot spunky custard, Such nonsense! Why anyone knows And as for your regular guys, For both of the sexes, a plus I once watched a porno with goo From watching porn movies, by gum! Now you must be out of your mind, I've got it! A teenager's dream! A honeymoon pair from Nantucket A cocksucking girl from Brazil, The law won't allow me to dally The only come gets near your bum The furry, wet twat on Miss Sprott There was a young man reading Lawrence Have y'all heard that Primrose Leigh Gooch A decent young fellow named Herm, Young Henry, intending to goose A wavy haired lady named Flavey If all of the jizm and slime, A man who vacationed in Vail A prissy young fellow from Florence "I'm sorry, dear Stanley," said Florence, "But Lawrence, dear Florence, is silly; But will he or won't he's the question -- She's now without Larry or Stan; (Could be a two-bagger - McW)
"I want you," said Flo, "to be manly, Hey, Peter! Do *what* with a welly? There's hope for excitable teeners, Sweet Lucy could handle my flows, I once knew a man with a boner A plain-speaking lady named Myrt A penis, (let's call it a dong), An indolent fellow called Blood A new bride who wished for a carriage, I once knew a girlie called Liz, He rooted around with his rooter, Since the days when old Adam and Noah A certain old strumpet named Frum I thought all the cum-shots were fake, There once was a woman named Maggie President Reagan has ordered the G-men A nervous young woman in Herts Young Joe on the flying trapeze The audience ducked to evade There was a young lad from Tashkent It happened without any warning, It seemed he just couldn't prevent He preferred walking 'round in the rain The changing his shorts was a chore; ...Needing hammer and chisel to prise Now this problem he'd had for some years
With a "No", but you set my mind reeling
For a use for your goo;
Outward use sure might do
As a lotion or maybe as peeling.
--- Ulla
Alfonso, "She plays with my choat;
She kisses and licks it,
Then in her mouth sticks it,
And ends with a lump in her throat."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Wrote Alf, "as she thinks that nutrition
In sperm keeps her youthful,
So, why now be truthful
With her, since she takes that position."
--- Travis Brasell
My johnson has all the girls gaggin'.
It's known as a demon,
When spewing out semen,
But oft on the floor it's a dragon.
--- Anon
I kept both my hands on my dong.
And those hot creamy sprays
Hit me right in the face;
You need both hands when it's that long.
--- Anon
Oh hon, that would be a disgrace!
I savor each squirt,
Like a tasty dessert,
And not let one drop go to waste.
--- Anon
Candy over any man's favors.
When asked what her candy
Could do that a dandy
Can't. She said "Come in eight flavors!"
--- Res Ipsa a
The love-gifts I give are all feckless.
I can't afford rings
And diamonds and things,
Just sometimes a lovely pearl necklace.
--- Anon
Once fell asleep in my chair.
I pulled out my unit,
Proceeded to tune it,
And fired my load in his hair.
--- Babes and Stuff
And showcase my actressing graceful."
"Take 5!" bellowed Bart,
The Director of Art,
"For it's Bob's turn to give you a faceful!"
--- Peter Wilkins
"Not likely, we've hardly begun.
Wipe your face and take heart;
And Take 6!" shouted Bart,
"And for fuck's sake, make out like it's fun!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Which she likes quite a bit; My-o-my!
She shimmies and sings,
Holding my dingaling,
As the gism drips down to her thigh.
--- Anon
Are you ready now for a big whirl?
Get on your knees,
If you're ready for sleaze,
And I'll squirt you a new string of pearl.
--- Anon
There's more overt discussion of semen,
Spewing forth from a tube,
Mingling then with her lube,
Then it's lingually relished? I'm screamin'!
--- Anon
Who like to tit-fuck with pace.
Her man with blonde hair
Screamed "Yeah, baby, yeah!"
Overshot, now there's come on her face.
--- Steve
To the intercourse womenfolk prize;
They love a projectile,
Both pussy and rectal,
And they relish hot jizz in their eyes.
--- Hugh Clary
Gets all of their animal lust stirred,
Say gals who earn cash
By flaunting their gash,
To get porno patrons all flustered.
--- John Miller
What women like best from the hose
Is hot yellow piss;
For maximum bliss,
They like it shot straight up the nose.
--- John Miller
The things that you've heard are all lies.
Their favorite twat
Is cold, never hot,
And preferably covered with flies.
--- John Miller
Is a liberal sprinkling of pus;
And a bit of blue mold
Is dearer than gold --
Connoisseurs always seek it out thus!
--- John Miller
And puked just about half-way through.
I went out to buy
A barf-bag supply,
But only could sell twenty-two.
--- John Miller
I discovered I've been very dumb:
All women feel blessed
When their titties are messed
And thier kissers are covered with come.
--- Hugh Clary
'Cause nothing can beat a slow grind.
You don't have to race,
So cool down the pace,
And watch your man come from behind.
--- SFA
The packaging? Pink and extreme!
I'll eat penicillin
And when she is willin' --
A great disinfucktant zit cream!
--- H Welchel
Went to bed, and by god they did fuck it!
Next morning said he,
"Do you feel like some tea?"
"No! I feel like a billposters bucket!"
--- G0071A
Was opening wide for the kill.
Twitching flesh doing tangos
And balls big as mangos,
Dispatched her, and she's flying still.
--- Anon
On mountains with Hillbilly Sally,
Because when I do,
My volume of goo
Will flood the entire lower valley!
--- Anon
Will only be dripping down from
Your frontal hole,
As I lose control,
And fill your crotch full of hot come.
--- Anon
Fellows find is continously hot.
Gallon jugs of thick semen
She's saved from her reamin',
And to fill one of those takes a lot.
--- G2517
To his inamorata in Florence.
When they came to the page
Where he fucks her with rage,
He flooded her guts with his torrents.
--- G0107
Has died after drinking bad hooch?
This spinster got drunk
And drowned in the spunk
She sucked from her flea-bitten pooch.
--- Anon
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm.
The size wasn't much
But the volume was such,
His lovers did the backstroke in sperm.
--- Anon
Friend Robin up in his caboose --
Just playing the fool,
He jabbed in his tool,
And filled up friend Robin with juice.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
This is file ddm
Got more out of screwing than Davy.
For when fucking was done
She received half the fun,
And besides, she got all of the gravy.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0142
From the very beginning of time,
Were to fall in the night,
Then to what sort of height
Up your Wellington boots would it climb?
--- Anon
Had thought he would find easy tail.
But the girls were too slick --
They avoided his prick --
So he brought home his cream in a pail.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1913
Considered all sex with abhorrence,
But a statue of Venus
Agitated his penis
(He spewed out his semen in torrents).
--- Armand E Singer 357
"I've just had your step-brother Lawrence;
He's manlier, bigger,
Has *truckloads* of vigour
And splooges incredible torrents."
--- Anon
Deficient of mind," he cried shrilly.
"So what does it matter,
He's mad as a hatter?"
What matters, dear Stan, is his willy."
--- Anon
She should have displayed more discretion.
If Larry she'd asked:
"Not unless you're masked;
Your face gives me gross indigestion!"
--- Anon
She's seeking out some other man.
But she's such a hag,
You will want a bag
To cover her head, if you can.
--- Anon
And do it with welly, young Stanley."
"I am," he said bleakly
Depressingly weakly,
"As hard as I possibly canly."
--- Anon
If Stan wants to bounce on her belly
He can't use a boot
She'll tell him to scoot --
Especially if it's rank and smelly!
--- Anon
With hard-to-control loaded wieners;
To take care of such yechhh,
On a chain 'round the neck,
Is a cordless li'l vacuum cleaner.
--- Anon
By gaping and curling her toes.
My one rule of thumb
Is that none of my cum
Should ever come back through her nose.
--- Anon
Who wanted to be a sperm donor.
He rubbed his young pup
Til it sprayed in the cup,
So violently that it flowed over!
--- Anon
Remarked as she hoisted her skirt:
"It ain't your long cock
That gives me a shock,
It's that potent emission you squirt."
--- G1668a
Can be medium, or shortish, or long.
But however it comes,
Mouths, vaginas or bums,
Leaves a substance that's potent and strong.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Made his fortune by being a stud,
With a fifteen inch whang
And bollocks that clang,
And a load like the Biblical flood.
--- Archie
Received the grooms gift with disparage.
He said, "Here you are.
Its spunk in a ajar.
My momma said save it for marriage."
--- H Welchel a
Who was really the ultimate biz.
She said, "Gimme your cream;
It's my fetish and dream
To be squirted with gallons of jizz."
--- Anon
A vigorous, vermiform shooter
Of pipe-cleaning squirts
And clog-busting spurts...
A reamy power-douche sure to suit her.
--- Anon
Had a corner on spermatozoa,
Those wee potent critters
Have given girls jitters,
But they keep right on begging for moah!
--- Grand Prix Lim 936 G1697
Confessed to a loathing for come.
"It's gooey like jelly,
And thick on my belly --
Reminds me what dad did to mum."
--- Armand E Singer 700
Far more than the gonads could make.
But once on the set,
They summoned the vet
For one actor's thirteenth retake.
--- SFA
Whose nipples were hard and not saggy.
She gave me a full-on;
I had to just pull on.
I filled up two jars and a baggie.
--- Anon
To stay away from all women.
Under this regulation
There'll be no fornication,
And we'll be up to our asses in semen.
--- Ed Wolfert P8212
Complained as she hoisted her skirts:
"It ain't the screwing
That's proved my undoing,
It's that viscous emissions you squirts."
--- Grand Prix Lim 576 G1668
Got aroused by his partner Denise.
As the crotch of his tights
Split apart in the lights,
He shot jizm all over her knees.
--- Peter Wilkins
Being splattered, but some were dismayed;
'Specially those in row 2
Who got hit by the goo
And were quite comrehensively sprayed.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who shot semen wherever he went.
A spontaneous burst
From the end of his wurst,
Was a regular sticky event.
--- Peter Wilkins
While eating or sleeping or yawning.
At work or at play
Eighty-three times a day,
Every afternoon, evening and morning.
--- Peter Wilkins
These explosions and came to resent
Them. On busses and trains,
He left regular stains,
Which dried harder than builders cement.
--- Peter Wilkins
Getting wet, so the permanent stain
On the front of his pants
Would make nobody glance,
When he shot a new load once again.
--- Peter Wilkins
It was something his did maybe for-
ty or more times a day.
If he had to delay,
They got harder than concrete for sure...
--- Peter Wilkins
Them away from his dick and his thighs,
Which took patience and care
And a constant aware-
ness, a good steady hand and sharp eyes.
--- Peter Wilkins
And if often reduced him to tears.
For despite his enjoyment,
He could not get employment,
Because of the stains and the smears.
--- Peter Wilkins
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