A miss can be most intellectual
And still have a yen for the sexual.
It can be quite revealing
To discuss things with feeling...
An approach often proving effectual.
--- Grand Prix Lim 293

A persuasive young fellow of Kitchener
Turned his charm on his lady, bewitchener;
Though indifferent to much
Of black magic and such,
He was really intent on the nitchener.
--- Keith MacMillan 66a

The tapestry of a romance
Is woven by yarns that, perchance,
Unravelled one night,
When so full of shite,
A lad talked a lass from her pants.
--- Travis Brasell

Back then (in the Sixties) were herds
Of pert little short-skirted "birds"
Who'd whip off their pants
For a spot of romance,
If one knew how to boogie with words.
--- Anon

A housewife from Rehoboth Acres
Got fed up with door-to-door fakers.
"Each one, I find,
Has one thing on his mind!"
Such was her lament to her makers.
--- G0169

There was a young fellow named Thomas
Who said to his girl, "Let us calm us.
When the times comes, we'll marry."
But she was not wary;
All she got was a lick and a promise.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0887

I have checked with your calendar booking,
And from what I can see, it is looking
As if - with an "X" -
You have marked days with sex,
So I'd say you have something a-cooking.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0410

I wrote this nice card, dear, to you,
In hopes that the message comes through.
I love you forever;
I won't fail you ever;
Now can I please have a first screw.
--- Anon

John Smith is elusive and tricky;
His way with a maiden is slick. He
Will ply her with candy
And booze and his hand. He
Most often gets more than a hickey.
--- Anon

I just can't seem to get laid.
But next week, after I'm paid,
I'll get an advance from the boss
So I can pay off Ross,
And learn how to make chicks my slave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I was brought up without restrictions;
My parents and I never had frictions
Over books that I read
And the girls that I head,
As long as there were no complictions.
--- Nikita

When Greeley was fucking Miss Klutz,
She said, as he plunged in his putz,
"Do you love me dear Greeley?"
He answered "Not really,
I just want to blow off my nuts."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2144

In leaving it all up to chance,
You risk losing out on romance;
It takes planning and guile
And patience and wile,
To get a gal out of her pants.
--- Norm Storer P0012

The old farmer instructed Miss Tweed
How he tended the corn to grow feed.
He said, "Lay on the ground
Where I've plowed it around,
And I'll show how I planted seed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0365

Don't take it too far like a dork,
And sniff at the poor lady's cork.
Praise her sensuous lips
And her smooth slender hips,
If her next, you'll be wanting to pork.
--- Anon

I like them younger or older.
I prefer they be shy or else bolder.
I'll take short or tall.
In fact, I'll take them all,
Though I much prefer warmer to colder.
--- MrMalo

A sweet farmer's daughter named Kay
Met a slick city waiter one May.
He asked, "In the mood
For some good Chinese Food?"
So they had a spring roll -- in the hay.
--- S M Polonsky

There once was a man from St. Clair
Who decided to screw the au pair.
With a knock on the door,
They dropped to the floor,
Instead of their favorite chair.
--- Arden

There was a young person named May,
Who never let men have their way.
But one brawny young spark
One night in the park...
Now she goes to the park every day.
--- Linda Marsh Coll

A chick found a dude quite all right
And agreed to a date with delight.
And after much coaxing,
Pretending and hoaxing,
Agreed to be sub-dude that night.
--- Jane D Hughes P9107 a

Young Skinner was on to a winner!
Down on the floor he did pin her.
She cried out for more,
Until he was sore,
And cared not if he made her a sinner.
--- Jayne

There's a lassie from Castletownbere,
With tresses of lovely dark hair,
Which I'd love to be feeling,
And sweet kisses stealing,
And that little bit more -- sure I'd dare!
--- Linda Marsh Coll

There once was a cocky young sailor,
A dropout from Harvard and Baylor.
When he spied a cute lass,
He would turn on the class,
And more often than not he would nail her.
--- Bill Edwards P9103

My dear, you'll not find me fickle,
But I do find myself in a pickle.
How will you respond
To this gay vagabond?
Perhaps we should try a test tickle?
--- Albin Chaplin P8603

In Belfast dwelt a sweet maid,
Who swore that she wasn't afraid,
But a farmer from Derry
Came after her cherry --
'Twasn't just an advance -- 'twas a raid!
--- Linda Marsh Coll

So you now stand tall and erect,
With no help from Viagra I suspect.
Getting ready to lunge,
Joining me in the plunge,
Do I understand that as correct?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Nancy, next door in her pad,
Had a nail needed driving real bad.
I hadn't a hammer,
But no need to stammer;
I just used the tool that I had.
--- Anon

A young maiden showed no remorse.
She said, "My virtue was perforce
Stripped away by the lad
Who added a tad
Of sweet nothings to rhymes never coarse."
--- J'Carlin

An electrical man of Fort Myers
Is convinced that the secret is wires,
And will try to seduce
Them with low-voltage juice,
As they placidly play with his pliers.
--- Keith MacMillan A034B

A hot-blooded fellow from Cheeney,
Whose girl was a frigid old meany,
One night stormed the fort,
And was heard to report:
"As the Latins would say, 'Vici vini!'"

(I conquered, I came)
--- Don Boen P8112

Only Joey ever will know
How he got his petoot into Flo.
Though she looks and acts hot,
Free twat she gives not--
Was it Joey's sweet talk, or his dough?
--- G1816

Little Eva was quite a nice girl
Till a lecher took her for a whirl.
He teased and beguiled her
And finally defiled her;
All of this just to watch her toes curl.
--- John Miller

I begged for release from my plight;
I asked her all day and all night.
I nagged and I pleaded;
Her patience exceeded.
At last she conceded. All right!
--- Rory Ewins Q

This is file zql

At a hall in a mansion in Paris,
When he tried to seduce a young heiress,
She protested, "Not here!"
"Very well then, my dear,"
He replied, "just step out on the terrace."
--- High Seriousness P8402

The prettiest girl of them all
Was E, who held Peter in thrall.
This elegant pair
Who's mighty affair
Caused greed, which led Arch to his fall.
--- Archie

Though his boss was only a knave,
Young Pete had to work like a slave;
A small stipend ekes
While working for weeks.
Away he trusts E to behave.
--- Archie

So Arch saw a chance he could seize
And quickly gave E a lewd squeeze.
He looked in her eyes.
He told her sweet lies
And finally even said "please".
--- Archie

To forces quite irresistable,
Morality soon becomes twistable;
E's thoughts of her Pete
Succumbed to new meat.
This tale then became inevistable!
--- Archie

While Peter must leave for some work;
Oh E, please, we should not just lurk.
I'll be very blunt,
I lust for your cunt
And the chance of a very quick ferk!
--- Archie

While Peter's away on a job,
You're lacking a good hardened knob.
Let us spend some time,
At your place or mine.
I'll cause all your body to throb.
--- Archie

While Peter is elsewhere employed,
You body should not be untoyed.
By letting me seize
Those 38c's,
You'll find that you're soon overjoyed!
--- Archie

While Peter is earning his pay,
Let's have tea in a local cafe.
'Bout etchings I'll talk
(With hardening stalk)--
I will ask you up for a lay.
--- Archie

I browsed in your unrefined file
And recognized Archie's crude style.
Will I make his pants dance?
I declare, "Not a chance!
But thanks for the offer", I smile.
--- Archie

I re-read old Archie's sex rhymes.
(You know P & I made it six times
the day that he left!)
I feel so bereft!
That Sweet P can sure ring my chimes!
--- Archie

When will my Sweet P return?
I've body parts on a slow burn.
With quivering quim,
I scan Archie's lim(b),
Oh throbbing; stalk; knobbing; I yearn!
--- Archie

Well, Archie, I see you're no dunce
When it comes to sexual stunts.
You say that your dick'll
Know just where to tickle? okay, maybe just once!
--- Archie

Gift baskets filled with perfumes.
Dining in candle lit rooms.
A long stem rose
Our passion, it grows.
A more fragrant pink flower blooms.
--- Anon

My most charming self I showed her
To surrender, my charms all bode her
Culture, you see
Is why she let me
Break her down like a shotgun and load her.
--- Anon

That's charming; but how many fucks
Did your get for your hundreds of bucks?
All that perfume divine,
And that dinner and wine;
Seen your credit card statement? It sucks!
--- Anon

After frolicking in her snatch,
These oozing sores began to hatch.
Oh, the yearning
To end the burning.
My poor penis I'd love to detach.
--- Anon

So to the doctor I go
Regretfully after that ho.
And his advice,
"Put your dick on ice."
Now it rises ever so slow.
--- Anon

It starts with a few gentle strokes;
Some chatter and even some jokes.
But her need is so strong
That we know before long,
Just the action this teasing provokes.
--- Anon

So we waste little more of the night
And, vowing to do it just right,
My highly skilled hands
Work to meet her demands,
And her laugh turns to moans of delight.
--- Anon

As my fingers find just the right spot,
There's an intake of breath -- this girl's hot!
As I gently explore
Every cranny and pore,
Using motions I never forgot.
--- Anon

No action of mine has she spurned,
Nor denied me the joy that I've earned.
Her motions compete
With a vixen in heat,
As her heated response is returned.
--- Anon

I can tell by the curl of her toes
And the arch of her back, how she grows
Almost ready to pop,
As we climb to the top,
And her skin becomes suffused with rose.
--- Anon

Then down again, just for a while,
But I know very well from her smile
That she knows I'm no slob,
Who won't finish the job.
She expects me to go the whole mile.
--- Anon

Once again I express my devotion
In an act that transcends mere emotion,
In a frenzy that feeds
On our mutual needs,
In one final frenzy of motion.
--- Anon

She sighs at last, seeming replete,
But whispers, "Gee, that sure was neat.
You're really some man!
But next time if you can,
Will you do a bit more than my feet?"
--- Anon

On the hayride, Pam Kelly, my date,
Arrived just a little bit late,
But soon snuggled down
With nary a frown
To starboard, as usually her fate.
--- John Miller

Nelly, a buxom young lass,
Arrived and it soon came to pass
She got wedged in tight
On my left for the night.
We were a bit crowded, alas!
--- John Miller

My attention was all on Miss Kelly
But left arm went lightly 'round Nellie.
My fingers kept roaming
And seemed to be homing
Down somewhere quite low on her belly.
--- John Miller

We started with nary a clue
As to what she or I meant to do.
When her legs came apart,
I could hear my own heart
And hoped that no others would, too.
--- John Miller

The hayride soon came to an end,
As I helped both the girls to descend.
And we quietly talked.
Nellie mentioned she'd walked
From her house down the road at the bend.
--- John Miller

Now a thing that we couldn't condone
Was to have a girl walk home alone.
The polite thing to do
(Well gee, wouldn't you?)
Was to offer to see Nellie home.
--- John Miller

She answered, of course, "Would you please?"
So we walked down the path through the trees.
The shadows were dense
And she made no defense
As I slipped her jeans down past her knees.
--- John Miller