A girl who would back into him?
Who'd, during an Arabic hymn?
An athlete with sweat from the gym.
Who'd yield an orgas...m...m...m.
A girl who'd read Omar Khayyam.

While his 'moving finger"s her rim?
--- Irving Superior P0800

It seems that the Earl of Longstanding
Tried to lay the new maid on the landing.
Cried she, "Oh your highness,
Please pardon my shyness,
You're the first Earl I've had so demanding."
--- Grand Prix Lim 833

Two dons fought a duel and one don, Juan,
The randy one, lucked out, so Don Juan won,
That duel so cruel,
Making him drool,
'Cause never before had Juan the Don won one.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm sitting here, dining on pheasant,
Considering life's far from pleasant.
My gamekeeper, Frewin,
Says trouble is brewin',
"A trifle unrestful, the peasants."
--- Tiddy Ogg

The cause of this last insurrection:
My "droit de seigneur" girl inspection.
Here, on my estate,
Each girl I must rate,
And give each a semen injection.
--- Tiddy Ogg

They'll soon find they've tried me too much in
This matter, as shotgun a-clutchin',
I let fly a blast,
At each insolent ass,
To bring again meek folelock touchin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There once was a proud English earl,
Who gave the countess a beryl.
As a gift it was fine,
But if the choice were mine,
I'd much rather have a large pearl.
--- William K Alsop Jr

I've not shagged a young English girl
But I'd sure like to give her a whirl.
They say for six bob
They stand up to the job,
Though they'll lay for a knight or an earl.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The title's the thing. For a tanner,
They'll do it in most any manner,
With no disappointment,
If "By Royal Appointment's"
Indelibly marked on your banner.
--- Tiddy Ogg

An impious Marquis of Ham
Quite frankly, did not give a damn.
He thought each king a bum,
Any duke merely scum,
And a Scot just an ass in a tam.
--- Warrick Elrod

The virtues of genes, I insist
Should not be too lightly dismissed;
If a poll's in the cards
For hereditary Bards --
My name will be found on the list.
--- Earl of Limerick

Horsewoman Penelope Post
Of affairs had engaged in a host.
She like grooms, stable boys,
But the height of her joys
Came with jockeys, who rode her the most.
--- Warrick Elrod

Said the wench to the new maharajah,
"You're really well hung, you old codger!
I'm delighted to lay
And be queen for a day,
But the last maharajah was larger!"
--- Larry Wilde

By the sea she was taking her ease,
While showing much more than her knees.
Just what was her game?
Well, she soon became
The wife of a landed Marquis.
--- Archie

When he swore at the garlicky stench
On the breath of a pretty young wench,
Lord Viceroy Mountbatten
Said, "Pardon my Latin,"
When he should have said, "Pardon my French."
--- Cyber Geezer

Lord Bangham-Together de Vere
Drinks altogether far too much beer.
He produces his shard
But cannot get hard;
It just droops, so she thinks he's queer.
--- Anon

Said a certain old Earl, whom I knew:
"I've been struck from the rolls of Who's Who,
Just because I was found
Lying prone on the ground
With the housemaid; and very nice too!"
--- Explosion Of Lims P0808

There was a young fellow of Magdalen,
Whose tutor accused him of dagdalen
And pledging his credit;
He wouldn't have said it
Had the youth been a peer or a lagdalen.
--- Anon (Bibby)

Lord Sylvester Santsbury Sill
Was a very low run-of-the-mill.
On a hunt, he would fall;
Step on toes at a ball;
Asked to dine, he'd get stuck with the bill.
--- Warrick Elrod

An aristocrat's one of the posh,
With a title, a mansion, and dosh;
And a daddy and mummy
Whose accents are plummy,
Who always say spiffing and gosh!
--- David Morin

Lord Fitzpatrick Featherstone Funt
Would invite only dukes to his hunt.
When they came they'd just ride
To commit vulpicide,
And like mortals, when riding, they'd grunt.
--- Warrick Elrod

Said a miserly peer at the Abbey,
"I fear I shall look rather shabby,
For I've replaced my ermine.
Infested with vermin,
With the fur of my dear defunct tabby."
--- Langford Reed

The amorous Viscount of Buckingham
Loved chicks to the point of enfuffing `em,
But quid demands quo
And so you may know,
He gave them not much before fucking `em.
--- Armand Singer

The eccentric old Viscount of V.
In his manner is pleasing but free.
Though his lance is now drooping,
He gets young girls a-whooping,
'Cause he chews them while nibbling their pee.
--- Anon

Lord Horatio Hepplewhite Hall
Had a long list of ladies he'd call.
His conduct was quite
Absolutely all right;
He just wanted to talk, that was all.
--- Warrick Elrod

Now that, sir's, a scurrilous lie;
I should string up your bollocks on high,
Give m'gundogs a whistle,
To go fetch your gristle
And chew it to shreds by and by.
--- Anon

For I am the Baron of Buckin'em,
The Lord of the Manor of Fuckin'em.
I do not employs
Prepubescent young boys
For m'joys are sweet pussies 'n' suckin' 'em.
--- Anon

Now spring's here; again I feel hearty;
I'm thinkin' of throwin' a party
Right here on m'yacht,
With such succulent twat,
As sweet Jeanie, young Carol 'n' Marty.
--- Anon

I'm here in Madeira, m'dear,
With unlimited champers 'n' beer.
These are warm moonlit nights
For romantic delights,
So just come in your skimpiest gear.
--- Anon

We'll laugh about love 'n' romance,
As we drink up the champers 'n' dance;
But I promise, m'dear,
I won't pounce on your rear,
'Til I've ripped off your scanties 'n' pants.
--- Anon

Oh good, I'll be right there to board,
This trip just sounds splendid, my Lord.
Once we're under way,
We'll start our soiree,
And your kindness I will reward.
--- Anon

Ahh, I have my own Genie on tap,
One with whom I occasionally rap.
She comes out at night
(As is) Her perchance-able right
And we rap on her twat when I tap!
--- Anon

Bikinis are mandatory, dear;
Go bottomless, show us your rear.
Go topless as well,
When we're out on the swell
'N' I'll show you m'sea-going gear.
--- Anon

This is file zhl

There was an old Baron of Basle
Who buggered the Queen in her castle.
He said to her, "Queen,
It remains to be seen,
If your cunt is as good as your asshole."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0900

The dignified Baron of Barden
Observed the young maid in the garden.
As she wiggled ass
While trimming the grass,
He fucked her and said, "Beg your pardon."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0033

There was an old duchess who knew
That her duke was too good to be true;
She said, "I'm not touchy,
But the tots in this duchy
All bear a resemblance to you."
--- Lims Unlimited

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia,
Searched the pockets in her regalia;
But'd left her purse behind;
No ticket could she find!
And almost had complete heart-failure.
--- Q

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia,
Revived after having heart-failure;
Said "The crew made it known
They all wished to be blown,
All the way back home to Australia!"
--- Q

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia,
Said "Captain, your crew's genitalia,
As well as your own
For fare, will be blown
Until home in Dave's cave in Australia."
--- Q

Said the Duke to the Duchess of Avery:
"I trust I'm not disturbing your reverie?
You've been sitting on 'Punch'
Since long before lunch--
May I have it? I find cunt unsavory."
--- G2674

A reliable butler was Runshawn;
Mid servants, they say that this one shone.
For he started one day
To make old Duchess May
And was still making May while the sun shone.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0317

The Duchess and Duke of McPhail
Went doon the Clyde for a sail;
After high teas and dinner,
With purses much thinner,
A wing of their castle's for sale.
--- J Faulds

Said the Duchess of Brey, "I'll admit
That my husband the Duke, wouldn't spit
On the great common herd.
As he says, in a word,
'Ain't got class? Well then you ain't got SHIT!'"
--- Theo M Heller P9406

Though he's eager the old Duke of Fuck-
Ingham noticed a detail that struck
Him as unduly odd:
That young girls tell him: "Sod
Off!" Of late he has run out of luck.
--- Anon

The delay to the duke was distressing,
For his buttons came off during dressing.
So he asked tailor Sutton
To sew on a button --
Said the tailor, his work was more pressing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2549

His smart duchess, adored CAP-A-PIE,
He oft loved in assumed privacy.
Over fence there arose
While he swigged her toes,
An huge camera of PNBC.
--- Elois

Such delights as enjoyed by the two,
Were presented for whole world to view,
Which proceded to drool
And inflict ridicule
On a couple, for pitching some woo.
--- Elois

The Great Duke of Fuckinem's roused
And many the furrows he's plowsed.
For great is his staff
(The Ladies don't laugh)
Even does it when he is soused.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In her haste and the dark old duchess
On her date with young Col. McHutches
(The equerry) finds that
He's hung like a horse but
She's got no idea what she clutches.
--- Anon

My lady the Duchess, quite haughty,
Never occurred to Her Grace to be naughty.
But she took some tuition
Before having coition,
With the Duke, on the pianoforte.
--- Anon

The wily old Duchess of Wings
Knew all about birds, bees and things.
She ignored all the flukes,
Like the barons and dukes,
And she fucked the Plantagenet Kings.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0781

The horny old duchess of Gloucester
Would welcome all men to accost her.
She would take with no qualm
Every hairy Dick, Tom,
But only the king could exhaust her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0170

Once a knight, Sir Justin Tremayne,
Boffed the Duchess outside in the rain.
His armour did rust
And chafed with each thrust.
Vowed the duchess, "Not EVER again!"
--- Annie Jay

When told by an agent, a Yid,
A seat in the stands cost twelve quid,
An elegant Duchess
Remarked, "I shan't puchess,
I'll bloody well stand!" And she did.

(Queen Elizabeth's coronation)
--- Langford Reed P8809

The doughty old Duchess of Depter,
Deserted the duke who had kept her
To fuck with the King.
But so tight was her thing,
That he diddled the bitch with his scepter.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0679

A courtly old man from Dubuque,
With manners befitting a Duke,
Met a Lady one day
And he bowed low to say,
"Good Morning," and doffed his peruke.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Walks out in her royal regalia.
But wearing her skirts
So short that it hurts
Eyes as you spy genitalia.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Should visit my cave in Australia;
I not only love flirts
With very short skirts,
But road-kill, cows, sheep, and Mammalia.
--- David Miller

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Doesn't care about male genitalia.
At age ninety-nine,
She's doing just fine
With her confidante Miss Amalia.
--- Dirruk

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Loves lesbian bacchanalia;
At age ninety-nine,
She does just fine
On virgins with glossolalia.
--- David Miller

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Was found on her back 'neath a dahlia;
With a very sore ass
And skid-marks on the grass,
'Cause her vibrator had brake-failure.
--- David Miller

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Had an ass nearly big as Australia.
Avoid, please, that crack
About her "outback",
Or certainly she will regale ya.
--- Cyberwizard

I've heard that, near Nordrhine-Westphalia
They practice a mean Saturnalia.
If you're a mean satyr
And pleasantly bait her,
The Duchess will probably nail ya.
--- Cyberwizard

The Duchess of Nordrhine-Westphalia
Collects sexual paraphernalia;
Old hand-cuffs and chains,
Large dildoes and canes,
And little boy's dicks, inter alia.
--- David Miller

A bevy of knights all called Sirs,
Who were mailed from their heads to their spurs,
Rode forth on their steeds,
To do some good deeds,
In spite of the hoots and the slurs.
--- William K Alsop Jr

Sir Henry of Hathaway Hall
Dressed splendidly for the Queen's ball.
But when dancing he tore
The fine trousers he wore;
His bare ass caused his social downfall.
--- Warrick Elrod

Lady Pamela Pym Pettigrew
Told men what in bed they must do.
"I am to be pleased,
While you're to be teased,
Until I let you have fun, too."
--- Warrick Elrod