Well that just about sums it up;
I reckon that I'd have to sup
Some 10 pints of scrumpy
To want rumpy-tumpy,
Before our Camilla I'd tup.
--- Anon

Camilla, when out with her daughters,
Partaking at Bath of the waters,
Gave delighted squeals,
When some electric eels
Swam into their sexual quarters.
--- Jester Jon

The Diana tapes are revealing,
That Charles is a cad without feeling.
The fling with Camilla
With face like Godzilla,
He did a poor job of concealing!
--- Observer

As Brit, now Observer here forces
A reply: The enigma, of course, is
Camilla, the hag,
Looks like an old nag,
And I thought our old Lizzie loved horses.
--- Anon

Princess Di as compared to Camilla
Is like strawberry versus vanilla;
But the well-mannered Brits
Wouldn't even throw fits
If Prince Charles were to marry Godzilla.
--- Limerick Savant

Camilla and Charlie, the prince,
Have done their utmost to convince
The subjects of Britain
That marriage is fittin',
And surely makes some kinda sense.
--- Observer

At risk of committing a gaffe,
The rest of the world gets a laugh,
'Cause 'stead of his wife
For the rest of her life,
We'll picture her there on his staff!
--- Observer

There was a young man who'd be king,
Who decided to have a spring fling.
He called up Camilla
And asked her "Dear, Willya?"
But she said "Only if there's a ring."
--- Brown

Camilla's a worn out old hag,
for Charlies no spritely young stag.
The Princes' are dreadding,
Their old fathers wedding,
'Cause she not their mothers wet rag.
--- Anon

The Wedding of Charles and Camilla,
Hollywood plans as a thrilla."
Charles as King Kong
And (don't get me wrong)
Her from "Return of Godzilla."
--- Doug Harris P0504

Charlie's wed bride number two;
Cast off his sin, said "I do.
Who cares if she's a minger,
My rings on her finger,
While hers is full up with my goo."
--- Jarmo

There once was a lady named Jill;
To look at her you'd feel quite ill.
She was hairy and coarse
And looked like a horse,
But a sex change turned her into Bill.
--- Wobbly

I thought that you spoke of Camilla,
Who seems half a horse, half-gorilla.
Her tits are fantastic,
But they're made of plastic,
And her voice is a match quite for Cilla.

(Cilla Black, screeching songstress of the 1960's)
--- Tiddy Ogg

Charles stopped drinking his beers,
When he found all his people in tears.
When told of the story
Of Diana and Dodi,
The Prince of Wales was all ears.
--- Darcy

The lengthly boring whole MEGILLAH
Of Prince Charles and soulmate Camilla,
Makes a tedium
Of print medium,
And causes longing for roll vanilla.
--- Daniel Ford

Prince Charlie, who, rolling his eyes,
Once drew from his cello, rich sighs.
Now he prefers the wailing
And disjointed flailing
Of Camilla, down between his thighs.
--- Jester Jon

In Latvia great consternation
As a girl swipes Charles with a carnation.
She objects to the war;
That's why she did it for;
They cart her off for interrogation.
--- Tony Burrell

Now Charles is about five foot six,
And not used to such student tricks.
But this girl is great
At a huge six foot eight.
Thank goodness she didn't use bricks.
--- Tony Burrell

Prince Charlie, a man of high station,
Has troubles with ejaculation.
There is really no cure,
For he spanned pre-mature
To post- during Christmas vacation.
--- Arthur Deex P8308

The Princess Diana and Charles,
Like commoners, must have their quarrels.
But to live in the limelight,
As to live on a dam site,
By a damn site must dampen their parles.

(parle - parley, to bargain - written 1983)
--- Laurence Perrine P8308

A royalty bloke name of Charles
Had a sex life all snagged full of snarls.
He'd do Lady Di
In the blink of an eye,
Which sparked off the bulk of their quarrels.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205

The marriage of Charles and Di
Will soon no longer apply.
The divorce date's been set
And all criteria met
To dissolve their betrothal tie.
--- Ron Corlies

Lady Di and Prince Charles lost their cools,
Trading crowns for the dunce caps of Fools.
Chuck was caught scoring goals
With Camilla P. Bowles,
And Diana eschewed his crown jewels!
--- John Eggerton

To a monarch unusally fecund,
There were countless pudenda which beckoned.
So in number of lays
He enjoyed in his days,
He was Charles the first rather than second.
--- A N Wilkins P8601

Lady Di pouted, "Pooh! He's inhuman,
For he spends all his time with his bloomin'
Cetacean females.
He's a prince to those whales,
But to me he's just Alfred E. Newman.

(A E N - idiotic-looking mascot of Mad magazine)
--- Don Moore P9211a

Prince Charlie fell off of his horse;
Hit ground with considerable force.
Should he play polo?
Some folks say "Oh, no!"
But others just smile, "Yes, of course!"
--- Anon

Prince Charles at the helm of regency,
Could no solitary reason see;
To spread not wild oats,
Spared no sheep nor goats;
Had no MODICUM of decency!
--- Gunjan

Nick Mitchell, Charles called "bloody awful";
He really should be far more careful.
And be certain to choose
The right form of abuse,
That's: "dyke-smashing, spotty dinge" jawful.
--- Jarmo

Young Harry has now gone to pot;
Well, he's one of that royal lot.
Charles drank booze when young.
He's polluted his son,
And made him an alcohol clot.
--- Tony Burrell

Queen Elizabeth says she will see
Subjects on her Golden Jubilee.
That means poor Charlie's fate
Is to sit and to wait
To be King in the next century.
--- Warrick Elrod

Lord Peter's a toffee-nosed fool,
Who was sent to an upper-class school;
He's too scared to admit
That it isn't a zit
On the face of young Charles, but his tool.
--- Anon

He sniffs round that ghastly Camilla,
A haggard and po-faced gorilla.
He uses his nose
On account of his hose,
Being hardly sufficient to fill 'er.
--- Anon

But nosing around in the rough
Of Camilla's gorilla-like muff
Makes his nose strangely angled
And causes his strangled
And odd sounding vowels, sure enough.
--- Anon

This is file yll

Prince Charles and Parker-Bowles are such bores!
Yet, after they fuck on all fours,
Camilla lies back with relief,
And lets loose a queef,
That reminds Chuck of Mom when she snores.
--- John Chastaine T9710

It's strange Charles refuses to eat
Wriggling witchetty meat,
While he freely admits
Camilla's fat clit's
A tasty and tongue-tingling treat.
--- Jarmo

It's said that Prince Charles eats sage;
He boils it until it turns beige.
The sage he likes most
Is Laurens Van der Post,
Who he keeps in a very small cage.
--- Bill Wall

Then said Prince Charles of Wales:
"I know what marriage entails,
So I don't want a girl
But a jolly young Earl,
To solace my passion for males."
--- G1048

Poor Charlie, the Prince of Wails,
His treatment by the press he bewails.
He tries so much
For the common touch,
But not matter how hard, he just fails.
--- Bob

Said the Duchess of Cornwall, quite gloomy,
"I was hoping that you'd sock it to me."
But his Dukeness, the Prince,
Replied with a wince,
"Beg pardon your Ladyship, who, me?"
--- Arthur Deex P0504

Given so few can abide,
Charles and his soon-to-be bride,
A stamp's the sole way
They'll get us today
To lick any royal's backside.
--- Jarmo

Prince Charles in his Welsh principality,
Formed a violent left-wing sodality.
When asked why this was,
He replied, "It's because
I am sick of the family mentality."

(sodality - club, association, fraternity)
--- Bernard Levin

I'd hate to be Princess Di,
Always in the public eye.
Prince Charles thinks it's fine;
Hangs his wash on the line.
We all know that Princes can lie.
--- Anon

Rinsed down the drain, t'would be waste.
For years the Queen Mum has been chaste.
But she gagged on the funk
Of his royalty spunk,
Charles' wad had a shit flavored taste.
--- Anon

Prince Charles talks to plants in his garden;
He's a twit; we will not beg his pardon.
He wants to help in the war;
He can, what is more;
We'll swap him for Mr Bin Laden!
--- Tony Burrell

A middle-aged monarch in waiting
For thirty long years has been dating.
Now Charles and Camilla
Can share the same villa,
Officially, after remating.
--- Anon

Prince Charlie has gone suicidal
And committed himself in oath bridal,
Which puts Royal stamp on
The Vice-Regal tampon,
Thus completing his oft-quoted idyll.
--- Jemstone P0505

Charles married the broad he'd been bedding;
Their sinful life style they are shedding.
She may become queen,
And Charles thinks it's mean
That his momma avoided the wedding.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505

They had a reception, of course
Some guest titles throw ME for a loss.
There was "Fox Hunting Starter"
And "Knights of the Garter",
And also the "Master of Horse".
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505

They recited a prayer of contrition;
All the guests joined in the rendition.
Royal romping and sinning
From the very beginning,
Made me jealous of what I've been missin'.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505

Prince Charles and Camilla's big day
Was postponed when the Pope passed away.
'Cause they can't tie the knot
While he's laid down to rot;
They'd have no guests to eat the buffet.
--- Jarmo

A funeral...the wedding...same day,
Is causing Prince Charlie dismay.
And that "bloody press"
Is enough to distress
Him, as they wait to hear what he'll say.
--- Observer

This pitiful procrastination
On account of the late Pope's cremation,
They should drive the point home
That we've broken with Rome--
And ensure there's TV duplication.
--- Jester John

Agreed, it's a very sad case,
The clashing of time, if not place.
But my rage and my passion
Is that the Grand Nation-
Al's put back. (That's a horse race.)
--- Tiddy Ogg

That great concrete post almost missed,
But speed the driver would insist.
She didn't know he was on ales,
For 'Diana Princess of Wales'
Became: Fine car? Alas, now pissed.
--- Anon

The death of beloved Princess Di
Brought a tear to the world's weary eye;
Good looking and fun,
A brief ray of sun
In Royalty's dark, cloudly sky.
--- Satori Press

Wed on TV; died there too!
Her life was just a large zoo,
With Chucky the clown
Waiting for his crown;
Oh my, Now what does he do?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

You may call me an evil ogre,
But I am willing to be sober
About insignificance
Of this woman's events,
And my relief that it's over.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

But then I must really decline;
Your words are very much too kind.
They say she is dead,
And that's what I said;
Get over it...It is about time!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Those pictures of Di were a fraud;
If they were real, she'd now be abroad.
In any case, Hewitt,
'Twas known that he blew it,
Or he'd now be a Prince or a Lord.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Editor says, "It's a hoax!
We publish not just for the jokes,
But the grand titillation
Of half of the nation;
Not for girls, but mainly the blokes."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

So Di is innocent NOT,
Margaret's temper, they say, is well hot.
But thank heavens Camilla
Has not taken the tiller
Of Prince Charles' lil' Royal Yacht.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An overexposed prissy wench,
Lived and died in a stench.
She lived in the spotlight,
But then late at night,
Her ride ended up in a crunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Diana, the fruit on my screen,
Was nothing to me, know what I mean?
But a rich twit
Always in a snit;
She's in the ground now, how keen!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a Princess named Di
Who liked a good dick 'tween her thighs.
Men pulled from her gash
Just in time for the splash,
Which was frequently shot in her eye.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Major Hewitt's no longer engaged:
Ex-fiance Ferretti, enraged
Sold his love-letter stash
To a tabloid for cash,
But it won't print Di's words -- scheme upstaged!
--- Paul Hoffman

Diana's brief Royalty fling
Assures her of one future thing;
Though she won't wear a crown,
She's the toast of the town
Just my name dropping, "My son, The King!"
--- Evelyn Bogen P9701

Anti-Landmine lady of Britain,
By wussy feel-good-ism was taken
In a drunken wreck.
So what the heck,
Let the mines fry them all to bacon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection