The Life-Force, afflicted with doubt,
As to what it was bringing about,
Cried, "Alas, I am blind,
But I'm making a Mind,
Which may possibly figure it out."
--- Thomas Thorneley

It's all down to Mind over Matter,"
I said as I strove to get at her.
"Just think existential;
Conclusion, eventual:
Is if you don't mind, it don't matter."
--- Tiddy Ogg

There's a sensitive man in Tom's River,
Whom Minsky's causes to quiver.
The aesthetic vibration
Bring soulful elation,
And also is good for the liver.
--- Anon L1589

This question comes not from duress,
But such truths, it is well to assess.
"The whole's more than the parts,"
Is how one theory starts.
What if though, it's not more but less?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308

In life's mix of warp and of weft,
At making yon cash I'm not deft.
I'm really not bluffing,
I started with nuffing,
And still, I have most of it left!
--- Doug Harris P0509

So I believe nothing at all,
Not e'en that the earth's a big ball.
So I sit here and type
This meaningless tripe,
Knowing that it won't leave these four walls.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Not one of you people exist;
You're fainter than clouds in a mist.
So I'll talk to mysel'
In this warm padded cell --
It's so comfortable here, round the twist.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There's no Archie, no Pete, that is plain;
No Karen, no Marlene, no Jane.
No Tutta, no Ogni,
No Ericka, no me!
I'm a figment of my own brain.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A scholar Sir Mordecai Ross
Found the answers to life in a gloss.
The lacuna that foiled
All the labor he'd toiled,
Was the questions were soiled with a toss.
--- Anon

Ad announces "Manipulate Fate"
But I'll categorically state:
Though you put your mind to it,
You really can't do it;
None can trash pre-ordained karma freight.
--- Esther Koch

Deadly Sins, for most people, I trust
Will evoke a response of digust.
Of Envy and Greed,
We have little need,
But what would we do without lust?
--- Alex Heydon P0412

A philosopher, finding a stone,
Posed the question: How far was it thrown?
Though he couldn't decide,
He deduced it implied,
He existed and wasn't alone.
--- Prof M-G

There once was a person of Chiswick,
Who said, "I despise metaphysic.
Oxford may feel
That the real is ideal,
But it certainly isn't in Chiswick.
--- J M Ross

And so, without you and with me,
Adrift in life's murky deep sea,
Where, thinking we're wise,
We philosophize
Why free lunches cannot be free.
--- John Miller

We haven't a clue where we're going,
If the world's speeding up or it's slowing;
If we're mired deep in shit
And we have any wit,
Then why in the Hell aren't we rowing?
--- John Miller

That nothing exists cannot be,
For if nothing existed, you see,
'Twould be nothing no more,
And there's nothing so sure.
(But it's nothing that's bothering me.)
--- Peter Wilkins

The truth of all this, does seem plain,
Is that philosophy would be in vain,
If its aim were a view
So objectively true,
It would not be discarded again.
--- L S Sprigge

Optimism is always what's best
And I'm ever so very impressed,
When cross fingers, touch wood,
(Lady luck please be good)
That things always burn out for the test.
--- Doug Harris P0507

Material equals the parts,
Atoms and such, for a start.
But organization
Is the formal relation,
Like the shape, the pattern, or art.
--- Anon

There was a young man who said "Damn!
It appears my whole life is a sham.
My outward depiction
Is merely a fiction,
Not really the man that I am.
--- Richard Long

There was a young man who said, "Damn!
It occurs to me that I am
A creature that moves
In predestinate grooves;
Not a bus, nor a train, but a tram."
--- M E Hare

If secrets of life you beseech,
I've discovered the answer to each;
Though you're blessed with dexterity,
An itches' severity
Is higher the farther from reach.
--- G Watson

In thought of ethics and reason
Of religion, approved of, or pagan,
Belief is the core,
There's no proof of more,
So I'll wait till proof is in season.
--- Anon

There's a Chinese philosopher, Chan,
Who explained how religions began:
"Like neighbor downstair
Who await, unaware,
Second shoe from a one-legged man."
--- Thomas A Quinine P8302

One's quest for warm hearts and affection,
Can lead in so many directions.
And eager romancers,
Say love is the answer,
But sex raises pretty good questions.
--- Anon

It's awfully late; I can't sleep.
Been thinking philosophies deep;
About yang and yin
And the wages of sin,
And sowing what I want to reap.
--- Marlene Lewis

To philosophers trying to sleep,
Distracted by mysteries deep --
Count the seraphim
On the head of a pin;
Much profounder than just counting sheep.
--- Dr Limerick

A skeptic I'm called, 'cause I doubt
The existance of what's talked about.
Not just the rules
But the gods and the tools
From which all these commandments sprout.
--- Anon

Man's life on this Earth is all blotches,
As more and more projects he botches.
Since man started his climb
From the primordial slime,
It appears that he's slipped a few notches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2455

A Solipsist with triplets said, "Though
No one else can exist, if it's so,
Why I went through so much
To bring up my clutch
In my fancy, I really don't know."
--- Lupellus

A solipsist aired his contention
To peers at a recent convention.
He cried, "It's quite clear
That you're really not here,
But you bastards just don't pay attention."
--- Graham Lester

There was an old Sophist, whose soul
Felt an urge towards the Infinite Whole.
He said, "It is grand
That the soul would expand
While the body subsists on the dole."
--- Thomas Thorneley (Bibby)

"If a tree falls when no one's around,
Is it true it does not make a sound?"
"Yes it does, (with disdain)
Just where is your brain?
Do you hail from some stupid hick town?"
--- Al Willis P9711

This is file uvl

An insensitive student named Glass
Once flunked his philosophy class
When they asked him where of
Was the source of all love,
He said, "Three inches north of the ass."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8905

Thrown up on the shore from the sea,
The starfish lay looking at me.
It watched as I pondered
Its fate, and I wondered
What it's like to swim off and be free?
--- Ystap

Don't think is will fall to your lot
To get what you like; it will not;
But if you're heroic,
And follow the Stoic,
You'll fancy you'll like what you've got.
--- Leslie Johnson

Said a Stoic, tormented by gout,
"There are times when I'm tempted to doubt
Our pose about pain,
And disposed to maintain
It is something we're better without."
--- Thomas Thorneley

Maria was known to be clever
With Weltschmerz and Angst, but she never
Could quite get the hang
Of the old Sturm und Drang,
No matter how hard she evdeavored.
--- Paul M Hoffman

We greet the third Christian millennium,
Powered by Prozac and Pentium.
Good, evil, truth, lies,
For supremacy vies,
And by turns, each enjoys some momentium.
--- Dr Limerick

A philosophy don in Cadiz
Gave his students a difficult quiz.
"If nothing is true,
And we see things askew,
How can anyone tell me what is?"
--- Warrick Elrod

Opportunity knocks at the door.
It knocks just once and no more.
But temptation, unclean,
On the doorbell does lean,
And the bell seems to ring evermore.
--- Al Willis

There once wasn't a rhymer named Ned
Who was a was not, so he said.
In fact he insisted
He never existed,
Except inside some poor fool's head.
--- Brandy Brandon P9503

There's a time machine inside your mind,
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.
--- Joel D Ash

Re-experience moments you prized,
The delights of your life scrutinized;
Scenic beauty recaptured,
Again your enraptured,
In your time machine all this reprised.
--- Joel D Ash

Full control of your life with your brain,
See things that no longer remain;
Events can be changed,
Some results rearranged,
You can be a young child one again.
--- Joel D Ash

Plan a trip to before you were born;
See the Earth on the very first morn;
No borders for nations,
No thought limitations,
Imagine the perfect sojourn.
--- Joel D Ash

Why not create a past life or two?
There is nothing your mind cannot do.
Dream up some dreams,
Got to any extremes,
Climb a mountain peak near Katmandu.
--- Joel D Ash

On the trips to the future take care,
You may not like what you see there;
Be aware if you venture;
I don't want your censure,
The world will be different -- beware!
--- Joel D Ash

The future -- a source of trepidation,
But provokes a sense of facination.
The road I am on
Goes hither and yon
Without any fixed destination.
--- Azul

A philo prof's cognitive tools:
"Reason's for unreasonable fools;
Logic's got no appeal,
Since what is, isn't real;
And it's certain uncertainty rules."
--- John Sandler P9112

No streaking through fields filled with burrs;
Beware of the puss with no purrs.
Only foolish bazoos
Stand up in canoes;
No squatting while wearing your spurs.
--- Anon

Aging humorist, Wellington Frye,
Misanthropically biting but spry,
When warned that he'd rue it,
Just scoffed, "Nothing to it.
I'll continue to come through as wry."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310

During travels, I once met a man
Who told me that he had a plan
To make tensions ease
And ensure world peace,
If everyone adopted his stand.
--- Puff Adder

He said, "Society should be agrarian
And we all should become vegetarian."
I ain't had much school
But I'm nobody's fool;
I think I'll just stay Presbyterian.
--- Puff Adder

The apocalypse nothing to fear,
For the end of the world is not near;
Many changes no doubt,
As new ideas sprout,
And the limits of man disappears.
--- Joel D Ash P0009

This truth's offered to all for a start.
We speak straight from a pure humble heart.
As we worship we're free.
When we cease to agree,
We'll first backbite, then slander, then part.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0110

Under ladders I never will duck
And the cracks in the pavement I buck;
'Cause it isn't judicious
To be superstitious,
In fact, I just think it's bad luck!
--- Val Burns P0511Q

Some advise, but I've oft wondered why,
To be careful in all things you try.
"Don't smoke, don't make bets,
Don't have casual sex,
Don't live just in case you might die."
--- Mike Dale

Our life is not what it seems;
It never pours, but it teems.
But if we make cheer
With what we have here,
We need never resort to our dreams.
--- J H

The trick in response to life's riddle:
Simply choose not too much nor too little!
For some might make sport;
That's the long and the short.
If a man, be the man in the middle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Wonders could cheer us both up.
Then sharing a hot cyber cup
Of tea, with some bickies.
That should do the trickies
And all of those blues we will whup!
--- Archie

Transgressing the norms of society
Can fill you with nervous anxiety.
If you don't want to get
An undignified sweat,
You should always behave with propriety.
--- David Morin

Television does rot the brain;
Friendships are an awful pain;
Work is stress.
More is less.
Best to do nothing -- again. (yawn)
--- Lynn Mostafa

Excuse me my rude intervention
But beware your lover's intention.
Might we not find
Love not so much blind,
As an act of human invention?
--- Chris Woodger P0411

True confession is good for the soul.
Is it ever honest and whole?
If you know yourself well,
You won't ever tell,
Lest the whole be reduced to a hole.
--- Laurence Perrine P9306

Confucious, that Chinese sage,
Whose words were once all the rage,
Took his own advice
Not once but twice,
And to himself, he's now engaged.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There isn't a shadow of doubt,
We're all of us ON THE WAY OUT,
From old age or ambition
Or excessive coition --
So drink up before you are nowt.

(excessive coition doesn't exist - McW)
--- E O Parrot