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One can't always head up the class; A sage of the great Eightfold Way A cynical sage with a kink, Remember when you are bemusing, Sexologists constantly preach Now I'm old. All my songs have been sung. In receiving, there's multiple pleasure For ages I have heard it said, "Well done, gal," I say with a grin, If you feel life has pulled out the plug The reincarnated Res, I, With a conscience we're able to see A hitch-hiker shouldn't succumb A bon vivant wastrel named Lunt A famous philosoppher, Occam I'm in bed. There's a really good show. Too many are taking the road Who knows what the future may hold? You can call out the sheriff and cop, Do you think meditations on Buddha When you find yourself in the dark; gropin' To procrastinate steals all your time, Along with each life comes an ending, So what is this thing called success? Must one really have something to say? In Lent, the kids are complaining: Tomorrow becomes yesterday. By friends that you keep you are guaged; 'Twould be nice to be called debonaire, If philosophy teaches one thing, Here's a query posed by Jake McFee, An ambition of mine's to design Here common sense takes quite a beating, What a painful reality, for sure; A philosopher stood to proclaim: I can't say who's right or who's wrong, Perhaps there is less eccentricity All our problems, the Stoics enlighten us, Said an erudite sinologue, "How I'm one always giving advice -- To study another man's life, If you seek life's secret, then take it. Gone tomorrow, but yet here today, The Bigot, the Slave, and the Fool: If Velcro were used for a zipper, Life you must live to the limit; Near the start of our life is pubescence, Philosophers say and repeat Oh don't eat it dear, that won't do; Oh yeah sure, they say life is the top! My friend, do not fret, you'll not find My mind has not ever lacked learning "Life," it comes as a blessed relief "Life," it comes as a beloved nanny, The experts in life are named They; My whole life, They've been my guide; You know that They are after you; I wonder where They learned it all? I'll make this a wonderful day; If your success at first is denied, Who hesitates is probably right; While you may be alone for success, Why is it the harder the butter, To steal from one is plagarism, Says the cynic when he's spinning, Perhaps you'd like with eagles to soar,
Some men will lose out, some surpass.
If by chance you lose face,
Take defeat with some grace;
It is better than losing your ass.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1994
Told me, "Saints never let their minds stray,"
But I fear it would tax him,
If he knew that's a maxim
That I sometimes have pondered all day.
--- Graham Lester
Said, "Between thought and deed there's a link.
When I think what I thought,
I don't do as I ought,
So it's best to do nought, and not think."
--- Hassall Pitman
And daily decisions confusing,
That for life existential,
The thing that's essential
Is never the choice, but the choosing.
--- Cyril Hughes
That between sex and love is a reach;
But there's the odd fact
That sex as an act
Is focused on filling the breach.
--- Norm Storer P9603
And worse yet, my springs are now sprung.
Could I go around twice,
I would heed the advice,
Of all Realtors, "Get lots while you're young."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9912
Especially unwrapping treasure.
But the secret of living
Is not taking, but giving.
In this, you'll find much greater measure.
--- Doug Harris P0504
That men are too easily lead.
But Man's like a horse:
Once given his course,
He'll gallop when given his head.
--- SFA
Too soon though, a fella will win
A place in the game,
Of life: whence he came,
Is where he'll ever try to get in.
--- Anon
From under your feet, don't just shrug.
Face up to the foe;
If you go with the flow,
Then it's likely you'll wind up in the jug!
--- Val Burns P0510Q
Back from my travels decry:
Don't sweat the petty things,
Don't pet the sweaty things,
And leave the rest in the sty.
--- Res Ipsa
Just how bad we're permitted to be.
At the same time it's true
That what's wicked for you
Mightn't be half so wicked for me.
--- Limeratomy - Euwer P8708
To offers of peppermint gum:
An edict this isn't,
With threat of imprison't,
But merely a crude rule of thumb.
--- Anon
Has given up seeking fresh cunt.
He now sees quite clearly
We all pay too dearly;
The goal is less fun than the hunt.
--- Armand Singer
(To upset his readers and shock 'em),
Wrote, "The very best way
To keep women at bay,
Is spread 'em out flat and stiff cock 'em!"
--- Armand E Singer 407
But my eyes won't stay open. Oh no!
In the a.m., it's one.
I awake; my show's done.
Just like life, the end I can't know.
--- Andrea Dietrich
Which fosters a negative code.
If we don't forgive
And live and let live,
The planet itself will explode.
--- Lims Fables & Poems P0507
Dark seas you must cross and be bold.
If it fucks up, okay.
If it doesn't Wey Hey!
Have a laugh, pull some birds, now you're told.
--- Anon
Have the posses ride hard till they drop;
Man's a son-of-a-bitch
With a murderous itch,
All the scratching on earth will not stop.
--- Warrick Elrod
Go better with beer or with Gouda.
And with peace and eclat,
When I fancy a chat,
Should I phone my Fadder or Muddah?
--- Anon
'Gainst the troubles of life, hardly copin'.
To be fully astute,
Use your mind's parachute;
You'll find it works best when it's open!
--- Doug Harris P0505
Caution those who believe it's a crime.
Yet, it's often agreed
That more hurry's less speed;
Not much reason, a whole lotta rhyme!
--- Anon
When the soul, it's believed, is ascending.
Of your days on the earth,
Cherish all they are worth;
Mortality's truly unbending.
--- Cap'n Bean
It's eluded me long, I confess.
But, to never give up,
Whatever hiccup,
Is a triumph itself, I should guess.
--- Doug Harris P0509
I do this for pleasure and play.
Why be rigid and stiff?
Who cares, what's the diff?
Don't just think black and white, ponder gray.
--- Anon
No candy on which to be training.
Then an easter Choc spree
Makes them sick -- which to me
Proves no good ever comes from abstaining.
--- Prof M-G TP9802a
Be able to look back and say,
"I surely had fun
And got a lot done."
Do not regret your life away.
--- Anon
Do not over words be enraged,
And avoid as a rule
A dispute with a fool,
Lest you find he is likewise engaged.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2586a
Or perceived to possess savoir faire,
But I'm no David Niven,
And not otherwise driven;
Now to kindle my life with a flair.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
It's that people should do their own thing.
If you run out of gas,
Forget that young lass,
And don't get your ass in a sling.
--- Al Willis TP9807
"Is it possible for one to be
Hyperactive and slothful,
Forgiving and wrathful,
Shifty, shiftless, concomitantly?"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0208
A routine to extract all the wine
Of life from each day,
No matter how grey;
But if sometimes I falter, that's fine.
--- David Morin
And logic's a victim of cheating;
The pudding, not kiddin',
Is not where it's hidden,
The testing must lie in the EATING.
--- Norm Storer P9410
This is file uul
You have to stop going with her --
This fact must be stated:
Reality's over-rated!
Fantasy is much better, dear sir!
--- Anon
"Not to make your own mark, is a shame.
Were it mind, or physique,
Everyone is 'unique.'
So, to differ, you need to be 'same.'"
--- Graig Gigol P0205
And I don't want to join or belong.
Since reason can show
That we truely don't know;
Till we do, can't we all get along?
--- Anon
In living a life of simplicity,
Than in churning about
With ulcers and gout,
For the sake of a little publicity.
--- Lims Unlimited
Are the upshot of too much uptightness.
Let's stay placid, their pitch is,
Through life's high-points and hitches.
Don't let worldly things flatter or frighten us!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Shall I try to describe to you, Tao?
It is come, it is go,
It is yes, it is no,
Yet it's neither -- you understand now?"
--- R J P Hewison
Some good, some not very nice --
But know that I speak
With tongue in cheek --
'Cause I've tried it all once or twice!
--- Kaylin
And document his joy and strife,
You must walk in his shoes,
And drink all his booze,
And sleep for a month with his wife.
--- Bob Birch P0512Q
Beware though, there's plenty that fake it.
So I say it straight,
Whatever your faith,
The secret to life's what you make it.
--- Carroll Stinger
And at most, it's not that long a stay.
Although dreams we fulfill,
We might keep in mind still
It's about "those we meet 'long the way."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0304
None guided by Reason's bright rule...
The Fool 'cause he cannot,
The Slave 'cause he dare not,
The Bigot just will not, that ghoul.
--- Tutta Gioia
And Baptists believed in Yom Kippur,
And all of the time
We all spoke in rhyme,
The world would be way much more hipper.
--- H Welchel
Every day, every hour, every minute.
But in retrospect,
It's fun to reflect
How you thought you were important in it.
--- Frode S. Stringer
Which begins the nest stage -- adolescence.
Then quickly senescence
Creates obsolescence --
And that, of man's life, is the essence.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
That life's a shit sandwich, complete;
And it's gospel, I guess,
The more bread we possess,
The less shit we'll be having to eat.
--- Anon
'Round here we just flush down the loo.
Sewer workers, I've heard,
Get paid time and a turd,
But I wouldn't do it, would you?
--- Anon
Have a dance and a waltz and a bop.
A sandwich of shit?
And that? That is it?
What you say is that life is a plop!
--- Anon
The answers those seek, who are blind.
The sages all natter
'Bout the start of all matter.
That arrangement had not you in mind.
--- Anon
'Bout mysteries I know lots concerning.
But I learned very late
Learning's ultimate fate...
In the end 'scapes wisdom, still spurning.
--- Anon
That it's much like a tin of corned beef.
Her, him, you and me
Are all seeking the key,
(It's hidden away, underneath).
--- Arthur Deex P0505
And it's much like a tin of Sweet Fanny
Adams. "They, you and I
Seek the key--"Well we try",
(It's hidden away in a cranny).
--- Arthur Deex P0505
All truth is found in what They say.
I hope that one day
They will go away,
But damn, just how long will they stay?
--- Travis Brasell
They make the path where I stride.
Each step is subjected
By what They directed;
Just once They should let my steps slide.
--- Travis Brasell
There's nothing They will let you do.
They will come along
To tell you you're wrong.
You know what They say is all true.
--- Travis Brasell
Do you think They ever will fall
And not know a thing?
They should have a fling;
What They need is to have a ball!
--- Travis Brasell
I'll do thing in my own damn way.
Though experts They be,
I'm gonna be me;
No more will I care when They say!
--- Travis Brasell
Destroy all evidence that you tried.
May be conclusion
Came with confusion,
Attendant upon brain being fried.
--- Daniel Ford
You'd avoid precipitous fight,
If with poker group
(And her is the scoop!)
Never do clever card tricks, you wight!
--- Daniel Ford
Everyone sees you make a big mess,
And you seem alone
As long as you drone,
But slightest mistakae they address.
--- Daniel Ford
The softer the bread for my cutter?
Just as in the breach,
If itch beyond reach,
Grows intense, makes my eyelids flutter!
--- Daniel Ford
Nicholai Lobachevskyism,
But steal from many,
Ideas any,
That we regard through research prism.
--- Daniel Ford
"Two wrongs are only the beginning."
Two wrongs make not right fair,
But four rights go nowhere;
That is where you meet yourself, grinning.
--- Daniel Ford
But find yourself here on the floor.
Just remember this,
If great heights you miss,
No weasel's sucked in jet engine roar.
--- Daniel Ford
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