A regular satyr was he
As he bedded each maiden with glee.
It was all Saturnalia,
And no semper fidelia.
Boccaccio rolled in his grave with envy.
--- June Sullivan P8408

Then on he did go to old Thrace
In his efforts on behalf of the race.
He wooed 'em and screwed 'em
And sometimes tattooed 'em
And left a broad smile on each face.
--- June Sullivan P8408

Now Northward our Don Juan proceeded
To see where his talents were needed.
They loved him in Bucharest,
He loved them in Budapest.
He breeded and breeded and breeded!
--- June Sullivan P8408

In Berlin he arose to great feats.
He thought Unter der Linden meant under the sheets.
"Linden" or "Linen", whatever,
The fraus thought him clever.
They were replete with his sexual treats.
--- June Sullivan P8408

In Holland the females grew fat
As begat and begat and begat.
He insured, with begotten,
That he won't be forgotten
When he finally hangs up his hat.
--- June Sullivan P8408

In Stockholm he really fared well,
Extending honors to each native belle.
They all vied to mate him,
And accomodate him,
In that land that has no parallel.
--- June Sullivan P8408

Then in Oslo he hefted his clout,
Relieving their sexual drought.
But he packed it all in
And left with a grin,
Before Customs told him, "Get Out!"
--- June Sullivan P8408

In Scotland he flipped up his kilt
And positioned each maiden atilt.
The ire of the Thane
Was, alas, all in vain.
Lord Gor's trip did not include guilt.
--- June Sullivan P8408

On to Ireland for one final fling
Before he'd extinguished his thing.
Begor, Lord of Gor,
What a score! What a score!
As he wound and rewound his mainspring.
--- June Sullivan P8408

At last he arrived home in Bath,
Leaving a trail of masculine wrath.
He'd given "Grand Tour"
A new meaning and more,
Left a generation of Gor Aftermath.
--- June Sullivan P8408

Just one word of warning, Beware!
As Gor recoups in his ancestral lair,
He is eyeing the States
And figuring dates
For a romp from New York to Belair.
--- June Sullivan P8408

A ferocious young plumber of Boulder
Argued hotly, his girl had grown colder,
And in making his point
He created a joint
By annointing his foreskin with solder.
--- Hugh Oliver A027A

There once was a fellow named Hector
Whose tool had a sector-trajector,
To correct for the mass,
And the heat of the ass,
And the bore and the stroke and the vector.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2601A

There once was a man named Tony;
The bulge in his pants looked so phoney.
When she reached down inside
To play with his pride,
She removed Oscar Meyer bologna.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

He crawled out and came right back in;
He knew I loved his special sin.
It's obvious because
He comes without pause,
And his cock has a corkscrew fin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Young Cupid has thrown me a dart,
Though I don't feel it piercing my heart;
But it's filled me with lust,
So I think that it must
Have been aimed at my sensitive part.
--- Peter Wilkins

I've forgotten that fraulein, my dear;
Now I've licked all the rhyme from your rear.
Will those tricks that you mention
Increase my extension,
And double the size of my spear?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Sex lessons for kids is bad news
When Sue said boy's dicks come in two's:
Dad's a small one to piss,
And a BIG one, like this ::::::::D
To brush all my teeth while he screws.
--- David Miller

An alien just in from Venus
Had an eye on the tip of his penis.
The gals cried, "Amazing,
This intimate gazing,
A heavenly ocular genius!"
--- RGCPJC TP9806

You know why the men name their pricks,
Calling them Johnson, Peter, or Dick?
'Cause they can't abide
That stranger that hides,
In their pants calling shots double quick.
--- Anon

There was a young woman named Pearl
Who became the world's happiest girl
With a man, on a binge,
Whose tool had a hinge,
So he not only pumped, but could twirl.
--- Isaac Asimov

My cock has a half of a twist
Which helps satiffy, I insist.
The pseudo rotation
Produces sensation
Like the very first time it got kissed.
--- John Miller

A young man up in Millinocket,
Kept a spare dick in his pocket.
You may think it odd,
To have such a cod,
But he had an interchangeable socket.
--- Anon

An impotent man in Port Credit
Used shot in his pencil to lead it.
He enjoyed a few fucks
With some upended ducks,
But drew blanks with the ladies, who fled it.
--- Hugh Oliver 62c

An inquisitive harlot named Strensall --
After sampling the plumber's utensil,
To the factory went she,
There determined to see
How the lead was put into the pencil.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1671

There once was an old man from Bristol,
Whose dick acted just like a pistol.
And it would go off
Every time he would cough;
A machine gun when he would whistle.
--- Jeff

A talented 'frotteur' from France
Had singular nerves in his glans.
With one casual trail
He would learn each detail
Of the size, shape, and taste in gal's pants.
--- G0333

For all the girls who are nifty,
Here's plight of a lad called "Swifty",
His rod lacked the lubes
To penetrate pubes,
So he used a bit of Slick-50.
--- Connie Lingus

The most popular saint ever anointed
Had a tool that was centrally jointed.
The effect of the flexion
In his weapon's midsection
Left none of the girls disappointed.
--- Steve Pridgeon

Let her show you the ancient art
Of folding, on your stiffy part.
She'll make your tackle
A crested grackle.
Whatever you do, please don't fart.
--- Ericka

A man with a prostate disorder
Had difficulty passing his water,
'Til his tube was reamed out;
And now out the spout,
It's coming out more like it oughter.
--- Edwin J Weinstein

A man by the name of Becker,
He had a rotating pecker.
Every time he'd fuck,
The funny old cock
Turned into a Black and Decker.
--- Martin V Jensen

But surely such screwing and drilling
Are just what the ladies find thrilling;
Wouldn't you like the knack
With your Decker and Black
To ensure that your tool is fulfilling?
--- Peter Wilkins

This is file sll

A frustrated fellow was Vince;
His girl took too long to convince.
When at last she agreed,
They could only proceed
With a roll of Scotch tape and some splints.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0371

There was an old man of Dundee
Whose pecker was shaped like a key!
Said he, "If gals peeholes
Were all shaped like keyholes,
What a helluva world this would be."
--- Grand Prix Lim 745 G0316

My prick's been improved with a graft.
It's craftily hid in the shaft.
It's got laser sighting
And GPS guiding,
But still aims a little bit aft.
--- Anon

I have a divining dick;
It performs its own little trick.
It always knows
Which way the wind blows,
Whenever there's pussy to stick.
--- MrMalo

A dude with a rather large dick,
Requests all his girlfriends to stick
Some soap on its top
So he later can mop
The mess from their missing a lick.
--- Hugh Clary

I didn't mind the ladies in frocks
But the men, I'm afraid gave me shocks.
In the tightest of tights
Under theater lights;
Had they no other place for their socks?
--- Anon

A very old man, baker Reese,
Approaching his hour of decease,
With Death at his door,
"Please, Nursie, once more,
Please sprinkle my dinkie with yeast.

(Yea and we'll rise again - McW)
--- Irving Superior P8303

A famous old tale from Devizes
Concerns any quote of great prizes.
If you give tit for tat,
Or just any thing that
Can befit a good staff of two sizes.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9005

Before boffing, a fellow had oughter
Rub his engine a bit in warm water;
Mix up ginger and honey;
Rub it in real good, sonny;
Your love-pump will grow for the slaughter!
--- Anon

What a lotion is ginger and honey!
The Sheikh swears by it; it's not funny!;
This strange, spicy powder
Helps you joyfully crowd her,
With a monster to thrill any bunny!
--- Anon

Wash your manhood until it turns red;
Take soft leather, with hot pitch well spread;
Envelop your tool;
And then let it cool;
Repeat 'till it looks quite well fed!
--- Anon

Other lotions, he says can't go wrong;
Pureed leeches, heat treated 'till strong;
Rub it on without fail;
Soon your lady will wail,
When she feels your magnificent dong!
--- Anon

'Nother hint: boil a jackass's dick;
'Long with corn and some onions, real slick;
Feed that meal to the chickens;
Which you eat; your tool thickens
To such size that the girls get love-sick!
--- Anon

From the Sheikh we can all now be sure;
P.U.D. no one has to endure;
For the gents around here
There's no problem, I hear;
Carry on, stout lads; vive l'amour!
--- Anon

There once was a fellow named Jock,
With a most insatiable cock.
His wife, so I hear,
Out of cruelty or fear
Keeps it under a chain and a lock.
--- Phil T

So flesh-colored duct tape's the rage
In this gravity war we all wage?
Then I'll tape up my dong
'Cause it's dragging along
On the floor now, because of my age.
--- Anon

A cod-piecey dancer named Cox
Seemed to have balls big as rocks;
When he did play
His tights split, oy vey!
The stage was all covered in socks.
--- Tutta Gioia

An elder of old Halifax
Would bolster his weapon with wax,
For his wife, in the main,
So she wouldn't complain,
If he should prematurely relax.
--- Keith MacMillan 26a

If you wish to enliven your pecker,
And you use electric power as erector,
Making 110 volts
Barely gives it a jolt.
220's a fine pecker wrecker.
--- Anon

Bea loved her sailor from Brest.
When she finally gave him a rest,
She carved his wanker
In the shape of an anchor.
She was diagnosed Seamen Obsessed.
--- Annie Jay

Bea was loving her sailor from Brest
When a monster wave hit from the west.
She grabbed his wanker
Shaped like an anchor,
Said, "Drop it! We'll ride out the crest!"
--- Annie Jay

That anchor-donged sailor from Brest,
Agreed that dear Bea was the best,
But realized too late,
If she'd shaped it straight,
His dick would have reached to his chest.
--- Frank Fazed

Insatiable horny young Dawn
Screwed her lover from five in the morn
Through midnight each day
Till he faded away,
With his dongle all tattered and torn.
--- Peter Wilkins

Then into the breach stepped old Pete
With his infamous meter of meat.
And he hammered it in
With a devilish grin,
'Til she fainted with pleasure, replete.
--- Peter Wilkins

A young gal from Vegas, named Sue,
Once discovered a dick that was blue.
Ever since, all for science,
She'd check for compliance.
(He should have told 'twas a tattoo.)
--- Anon

That Sue's made a fool out of you
With regards to the dick that was blue.
The past tense of blow
Is blew, doncha know,
And that's what she did... without you!
--- Anon

Her reason for telling the lie
About standards to which we comply?
The lass was in fear
That you'd whack her rear
For 'checking' a guy such as I!
--- Anon

Whenever young Sue's in the mood,
She puts up a sign "sex for food."
The ravenous miss
Says sex is such bliss,
When a dude shares his food in the nude!
--- Anon

There was a magician named Jack
Whose prick had an uncommon knack.
He could fit any cunt,
Whether fat, tall or runt,
And change color to suit white or black.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0486

There was a young artist named Bruce,
Who was renowned for being obtuse.
He painted his head
A dark crimson red
And his testicles purple and puce.
--- Lims For Year - 01

A honeymooning radiologist named Clarke,
Thought radiation safety a lark.
To his virgin bride's delight,
She had no problems that night,
Finding his glowing cock in the dark!
--- Laurence Craft

There once was a man named Bill Gower,
Who worked in a nuclear tower.
Girls thought it a lark;
His dick glowed in the dark,
And he fucked with so damn much power.
--- Laurence Craft

His dick lay in peaceful quiescence.
He longed though for youthful tumescence.
An electric connection,
Sparked a brilliant erection,
That shines with an awesome fluorescence.
--- Bob Birch P9809

A luscious, lewd negress named Zoe
Had hardened the prick of her beau.
She said, "Though it pinches,
I'll take all twelve inches.
Come on, Honey, slip me Ol' Black Joe!"
--- G0498