For Chris holds his head in her cleavage,
And enjoys the additional heavage.
As Arch tries to breathe,
He's pounding her sheathe,
And now knows there is no reprievage.
--- Archie

His kicking and struggling slows.
What's happened only the crowd knows.
His soul's drifting up;
He's had his last tup.
Those jerks were just his death throes.
--- Archie

I'm condemned now here to my post;
If you visit, I will be your host.
You won't see me much
And you will never clutch
My arm, I'm the convent's pet ghost.
--- Archie

I'll be warning all who come by:
You'd better leave; off you should fly.
If the full moon's got teeth
On Friday thirteenth,
Or like us, you'll certainly die!
--- Archie

Sister Helen was sure she would win
Her lifelong battle with sin.
But when the new abbot
Lifted her habit,
She knew she would have to give in.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In a convent, a young Sister Babbit
Raised a male and female white rabbit.
She said, when she spied
How they multiplied,
"I could see it becoming a habit."
--- Michael Polo P8907

There was a young nun name of Babbitt;
No priest had got into her habit,
Until old Bishop Bart
Threw her off with a fart,
And was in just as quick as a rabbit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0968

Well, my favorite church is St James,
The nuns always have fun and games,
When tiraboleiros,
Swing botafumeiros,
Their naughty habits fan the flames.
--- Anon

Dressed in black and always on the run,
No one's ever called her their Hon.
With her eyes so clear
And features severe,
She's a creature of habit, a nun.
--- Tom Patton

When the Church offers freedom, priests grab it;
Not one of them mutters, "Dagnabbit!"
But sisters hang back
From a spree in the sack,
Because they are creatures of habit.
--- Norm Storer P9210a

To make Father's Christmas Eve cheerier,
Our Reverend Mother Superior
Wears transparent scanties
And open-crotch panties,
And tinsel around her posterior.
--- Michael Horgan

There once was a somber old nun,
Who decided it was time for some fun.
She discarded her habit,
Dressed up as a rabbit
And scampered around in the sun.
--- Anon

Bill's showing a nun his stuffed rabbit,
When into the room walked Bruce Babbitt.
They spoke of a road
And saving some toad,
While his hand quickly slid up her habit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Five nuns on a mission from God,
Met a man with a beautiful bod.
They ripped off their habits,
And took turns like rabbits,
Worshipping his outstretched rod.
--- Ogden Nield

We joke about rude little nuns,
And puns about slipping in buns.
And cracks about fools
With oversized tools,
But it's all very much for our funs!
--- Anon

A young nun in theology class,
Preferred screwing to going to Mass.
Her lust was so great,
That by quarter to eight,
Her habit was covered with grass.
--- VOL 11

There was a young priest named of Babbitt;
Played ball and a young nun did grab it.
It was all in good fun,
This fine game with the nun,
For he never got into the habit.
--- Albin Chaplin

The nuns in the convent at Munich
Were sent a new priest who's a eunuch.
Their hopes were soon dashed
And teeth they all gnashed,
When they raised and peeked under his tunic.
--- Ward Hardman

All the nuns in the yard have such fun,
Taking turns riding bicycle un-
Til the mother super-
Ior shouts at them: "Dear-
Ies, now do put that bike seat back on.
--- Ursula Noeker

You can always tell nuns by their habits,
Which are utterly unlike a rabbit's.
Garbed in black, white, or grey,
They pray half the day,
And one rarely, if ever, cohabits.
--- Laurence Perrine P8907

Say, Sister -- Do you wear a habit?
Or practice the ways of the rabbit?
And, can you do
What is true for so few?
When you see fun, can you reach out and grab it?
--- John Miller

Because some nuns gave up on those habits
Doesn't mean they are horny, dagnabit!
Those outfits were airtight
And heavy, not weight-light,
That don't mean they're screwing like rabbits.
--- S C Saint

"The sins of the flesh I'll renounce,"
Said Sister Marie with a flounce,
"But not 'til my crack
Has dried up and gone slack,
And my tits have lost all of their bounce.
--- Peter Wilkins

I've never been known to be shirty,
And, if anything, mostly I'm flirty.
But still I will shun
Almost every nun,
Since some of their habits are dirty.
--- Anon

There once was a nun from Altoona
Left her convent for Reverend Moona!
No more ancient Nicene stuff;
She's gone for the green stuff,
And her habits now lined with vicuna!
--- CB

A nubile young nubian nun
Raised up her black habit for fun.
But though she was bare
Under, no one knew where
Nude nun ended and habit begun.
--- Tony Davie P9605

Regarding that Nubian nun,
Who played peekaboo on the run;
I'd say rather smartly
She acted most tartly.
(Forgive me for stooping to pun.)
--- Bluebird TP9901

"Posing naked can often be fun,"
Said the priest, with a wink, to the nun.
She replied, "But I'm chaste,"
He said, "Oh, what a waste --
I've seen worse on page three of The Sun."
--- Bill Wall

I once knew a blonde who'd begun
To feel quite discontent as a nun.
So she gave it a whirl
As a strip-teaser girl,
And discovered the meaning of fun.
--- Peter Wilkins

On the slopes of Mount Ananias
A nun whom all thought highly pious,
Ran wild in the nude,
And was so soundly screwed,
That today her cunt lies on the bias.

(from Anais Nin - author??)
--- G1137

Bored but horny, the monks stand and squall;
Sing MacGregor's chants, casting a pall;
"Give me altar boys' buns;
I'll forget all the nuns;
You've seen one naked nun, seen them all.
--- Allen Wolverton

Pushing quills in this grim study hall;
In tres partes divisa est Gaul:
Holy Cow! This is rot!
Where the hell's decent twat?
You've seen one naked nun, seen them all.
--- Allen Wolverton

Now Sister Patricia then, sans dress, purses
Her lips, "Please forgive my trespasses;
Oh Lord, give me dick
'Cause I'm heartily sick
Of these endless and tedious vesperses."
--- Anon

This is file qxl

On a visit, our bishop has gall,
As he peeps in the nuns' shower stall.
Genuflecting, they're blessed;
But he's jailed we've guessed;
You see once naked nun, seen them all.
--- Allen Wolverton

Of quite indeterminate gender
Were Mother Superior Brenda
And Sister Denise
With their knobbly knees
And their oddly distracting pudenda.
--- Peter Wilkins

"This is not a damned Novena,"
Said Pete to Sister Rowena.
"So put down the beads,
And I'll give you some deeds,
Then pray on the head of my peena."
--- Kathi

A nun's life is a bit of a bummer;
And my habits get dirty in Summer.
All day on my knees,
Working hard to please,
But the bishop's a very slow comer.
--- David Miller

A nun with a penchant for shagging,
Whose nights in the nunnery were dragging,
Met a man at confession
Who needed a session;
She relieved his great need without gagging.
--- Lucy Wainwright a

Hey man, now listen to this:
Juanita's been blessed by Sis Chris,
Who took her down under
And showed her the wonder
Of chomping a wurst to reach bliss.
--- Anon

A Sister with such impropriety,
Of men she has had a variety.
When down on her knees,
She's eager to please.
But not in the good name of piety.
--- SFA

A nun for the first time was kissed
And the passion she couldn't resist.
As her lips opened wider
And his tongue inside her,
She screamed "That's my G-spot you've missed!"
--- Friar

At a mission in deepest Nigeria,
'Twas the job of the Mother Superior,
To help Father Ted
With his bath before bed,
But one day summoned she an inferior...
--- Anon

...Nun, and said to her: "Sister May,
For the evening I'm going away.
So it's you that must bath
Our venerable fath-
Er, so here's what to do and to say:
--- Anon

"Just do, May, whatever he tells yer,
But in order to keep clear of hell yer,
You must certainly not
Look at that certain spot,
'Twixt the waist and the knees of that feller."
--- Anon

So on her return the next day,
She said: "Come now, tell me young May,
I hope that you ain't,
Compromised our old saint."
And May said "Most certainly nay!
--- Anon

"Once in the bath, Mother, he
Put my hand where you said not to see,
And he said `I have here,
My innocent dear,
A thing called the paradise key'.
--- Anon

"And if that key were just to fit,
My lock -- which it did, every bit --
That all would be fine,
And that heaven was mine.
I was saved from the fiery pit."
--- Anon

But the Ma S regarded with scorn,
This girl as they stood in the morn.
"Heaven's key? But for years,
He has made it quite clear,
I've been blowing on Gabriel's horn."
--- Anon

A ragout of virgin posteriors
Is a dish fit for papal interiors.
On holy days, baste
And garnish to taste
With the hymens of Mother Superiors.
--- G1511

The Sisters of Upper Manhattan
Wear nothing but panties of satin,
And pray every day
That young Father O'Shea
Will allow them to sit on his baton.
--- Peter Wilkins

The Sisters are losing their poise
'Cause O'Shea favors spotliess choir boys.
Those choristers dear
Asked Sis Chris to appear
And devour the baton he employs.
--- Peter Wilkins

On your knees, dearest Reverend Mum,
You may comfort my staff 'til it's numb.
I don't mind if you sing
That old "Dominique" thing,
But I'd really prefer that you hum.
--- Anon

After drinking one chalice of rum,
A young nun was by lust overcome.
'Fore her confessor she knelt,
And then loosened his belt,
Sighing, "Father, I love to succumb!" (suck come?)
--- Ward Hardman

It is hard when you look for a doxy
To find one you know is not poxy.
But at Garden Mart,
They have the right part
In bulk, on their tender new Box Tree.
--- Archie

At the convent it raised quite a flap,
When I asked for a nun without clap.
The one then on duty
Looked quite a nice beauty,
But rewarded my quest with a slap.
--- Ward Hardman

The Convent of Perpetual Wet
Is where I so sadly first met
The mad Sister Chris
Who promised me bliss --
But chewed up my manly asset!
--- Archie

I escaped from Christina. The first
Occasion my meat was submersed
In that dangerous snare,
And daily, I swear,
She still has her hopes for the wurst.
--- Hugh Clary

There's nothin' like Mousse-of-the-Mother."
Said Mark, as his staff he did smother.
"The Sisters who lick her,
Can whip it up thicker
Than week-old blood pudding, my Brother."
--- Anon

The nuns of old Sydney Town
Love sex and they will never frown.
Though it gives them a start
If you crack a fart,
Just after they've knelt and gone down.
--- Archie

A nun came into my place;
She proceeded to sit on my face.
With one little lick in,
Its vacuum did kick in.
And now I'm living in Grace!
--- Limberick

At St Claire, the Most Virginal Nun,
Said, "This nun is not having much fun.
I've got housemaid's knee
From continually
Swallowing what the Bishop has done."
--- David Miller

The priest couldn't give them their joys.
(Because he preferred little boys!)
Though they were all virgins,
They still had those urgin's
That 'most every woman enjoys.
--- Kaylin Brandon

So they jumped in your bed real quick
To let your fingers do the trick.
Three to one -- what a ratio
For performing fellatio --
Each one got barely a lick.
--- PeterW

"Most nuns do not sex," Deacon Veek,
"So laymen will laywomen seek.
Though nuns will deny,
'No laywoman I,'
Which ones keep their tongue in their cheek?"
--- Irving Superior P8907

The size of the Mother Superior
Made a tongue-job as weary, nay wearier
Than the late Henry James,
The Commonwealth Games,
Or an evening of 'opera seria.'
--- Fuller and Fenton P9105

There once was a nun from Altoona,
Had a muff just as fine as vicuna.
Said the priest who was weary
From stroking his dearie,
"Oh Sister, let me lick your lacuna!"
--- Chauncy de Groot

A pot-smoking Carmelite Judah
Decided she'd rather praise Buddah.
She'd had it with spankings
And clitoral yankings
From that fiendishly cruel barracuda.
--- Tutta/Ogni