Then there's Sister Ignatius Loyola,
An itinerant Friday night bowler,
Who confesses her sins
As she knocks down the pins;
You might say she's a real holy roller.
--- Anon

The nuns of St Agnes and Jude
Are planning a calendar rude,
To give us a view
In 2002,
Of their private particulars, nude.
--- Peter Wilkins

In order to be tastefully done,
They've borrowed from Father O'Gunn,
Some copies of "Spread 'em"
And avidly read 'em,
While practicing poses for fun.
--- Peter Wilkins

The poses are tasteful and simple,
You'll see Sister Marilyn's dimple.
I won't tell you quite
Where to spot this delight,
But it's some distance south of her wimple.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The nuns of St Agnes bewitch;
They're all of a-quiver and twitch.
I think they keep rabbits
Up under their habits
Or ferrets, which give them an itch.
--- Peter Wilkins

The Nuns of Perpetual Flatulence
Indulged in the sin known as crapulence,
By gorging on beans,
Then dropping their jeans,
And lighting the gas with congratulence.
--- Hugh Clary

"Those graffiti in the halls of St. Sarah's,"
Said a repainting group of repairers,
"Are of nuns in the nude,
Erotica so lewd
To corrupt our morals and snare us."
--- Mike O'Conner

The nuns of the Convent St. Mary
Kept cows at a ranch on the prairie.
And for a small fee, men
Could fuck them. Their semen,
The nuns sold as milk from the dairy.
--- PeterW

Those nuns at St. Mary's cloister,
Served many a good mountain oyster.
They wern't from the bull;
The nuns would just pull
Them from under the customers joyster.
--- Dave Jersey

The Sisters of Mercy and Hope
In the Vatican grow their own dope.
They're often seen giggling
And laughing and jiggling,
Around on the knee of the Pope.
--- Peter Wilkins

The nuns of St. Candlewick, long
For the chance to be sinful and wrong
With the monks of St. Fells
But they only ring bells
With a teasingly sonorous "Dong!"
--- Peter Wilkins

A sister of Mercy, young Blanche,
From the convent's Parisian branch,
Gives blowjobs galore
To the needy and poor
As they file into church for revanche.
--- Peter Wilkins

The nuns of Our Lady of Roma,
Sell veggies in a stall down in Croma.
But parsnip and leek
And carrot all reek
Of a very strange fishy aroma.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Five nuns were out playing croquet
In the park on a bright sunny day.
A gang of young men
Came upon them and then
"Thank the Lord," they said, "Girls, let us pray!"
--- Anon

The Nuns of St. Agnes chew monks
Wearing miniscule edible trunks.
They begin at the waist,
Bend and savour the taste,
Before biting off succulent chunks.
--- Anon

"The rules of this convent," she said,
"Forbid you to diddle in bed,
In corridors, stairs
Or in church during prayers.
It disturbs our poor handyman Ned."
--- Anon

Handyman Ned's disturbed, though it is slight;
His sad perversions we don't think right,
Like resting his head
Where a nun's wet the bed,
And rolling around in it all night.
--- Anon

The Sisters of Vanishing Hope
Have given up liquor and dope.
But now they're depressed
And their life, has lost zest.
They do little but mumble and mope.
--- Peter Wilkins

The Nuns of Perpetual Indulgence
Have secrets which need my divulgence --
With the Pope they don't rate,
'Cause they are not straight;
You can tell by their big trouser bulgence.
--- Anon

Whenever the weather is breezy,
Aromas decidedly queasy
Come wafting across
From the fortified schloss,
Of the Nuns of Perpetual Cheesy.
--- Peter Wilkins

Their vow is to never change undies
Or similar feminine sundries,
But nurture the cheese
Which collects by degrees,
For their holy communion on Sundays.
--- Peter Wilkins

For that's their excuse to hold wine
And cheese parties each Sunday at nine;
Bacchanalian feasts,
Well attended by priests
Who believe that the cheese is divine.
--- Peter Wilkins

The Nuns of Perpetual Moisture
Feed all their male visitors oysters.
The effects, aphrodisical,
Improve matters physical,
When hoisting their joists in the cloisters.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The Nuns of Perpetual Wet
Have a website now up on the net.
You can join them in chat ins
At vespers and matins;
A sure way to work up a sweat.
--- Peter Wilkins

The nuns that I've met could be wetter.
Not one that I know fills a sweater.
But there's one girl in black
Who's a wiz at the track.
She's decried far and wide as nun better.
--- Irish

The Sisters of Mercy and Hope
Never wash in conventional soap,
But they spend many hours
In their communal showers,
With a replica pope-on-a-rope.
--- Peter Wilkins

The good nuns of the Sisters of Charity,
Are self-flagellents known for austerity.
Their priest told me once,
"Just sniff at their cunts...
You'll detect and odd odor that's carroty."
--- Ward Hardman

Those ancient old virgins who mope
'Round the Vatican stalking the Pope,
Looking ugly as sin,
And oft snozzled on gin,
Are the Sisters of Vanishing Hope.
--- Peter Wilkins

The most Virginal Nun of St Claire,
Interrupted High Mass to declare:
"I confess that I'm twisted,
And never been fisted,
But the bishop once came in my hair."
--- David Miller

The most Virginal Nuns of St Claire,
Wearing habiuts that smell only fair,
Are knitting each night,
Byt pale candlelight,
With thick threads of their own pubic hair.
--- David Miller

The nuns who are pladged to St Lou,
Desire only one thing to do;
Every one of them hopes
To screw bishops and popes,
And take cardinals up the wazoo.
--- Ward Hardman

The nuns of St Mary carve manequins
In the image of Father O'Flannagan's
Nude body and when
They've completed them, then
They indulge in unholy shenanigans.
--- Peter Wilkins

The old nuns in the lift at St. Matthews
Eat buckets and buckets of cashews,
For breakfast and lunch
And for dinner and brunch,
Then make unholy smells in the church pews.
--- Mystelle

This is file qwl

The nuns in the crypt of St Pauls,
With graffiti have screawled on the walls.
They have written some shit
About sucking a tit,
And the size of the new Bishop's balls.
--- David Miller

It's well known that the nuns of St Rita
Paint the town weekend nights incognita.
In the day, they seem pure,
So refined and demure;
You'd not guess that each one's a Lolita!
--- Ward Hardman

The nuns of the order St. Vincent's,
Who revel while shrouded by incense,
Confess on a Friday,
And deeply in Piety,
Aver that they haven't had sin since.
--- Anon

The Mater of Convent Colchester
Did sate her with Brother Sylvester,
Who cried, "Sainted God!
She had tainted my cod!"
When later it started to fester.
--- G1098

There were also the Nuns of St Pauls
Who used to do turns on the halls.
For the price of a gin
They'd let anyone win,
Playing strip poker down in the stalls.
--- Richard Jean

The Nuns of Perpetual Fun
Strip naked and lie in the sun;
But merly to tease
The young monks of St. Bees,
Who would love to have fun with a nun...
--- Peter Wilkins

...But hide behind monastary curtains
To stare at the big ones and pert 'uns.
The nuns merely giggle
While watching them jiggle
And laugh at their juvenile squirtin's.
--- Peter Wilkins

The Sisters of Faith, Hope, and Charity,
No longer require austerity.
They're wild and free
And meet life with glee.
They are now renowned for vulgarity.
--- Marlene Lewis

An overworked nun, Sister Nell,
Was forced to give sex, sick or well,
And thus add to the gaiety
Of the resident laity
(Her term for the monks in the cell).
--- Armand E Singer 226

"DISGUSTING and VILE, Sister Pat;
You won't get to Heaven like THAT!"
"So that's what you think",
She said, diddling her pink,
"Well I've already been, you old bat."
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a nun from Podunk,
Who had so much sex that she stunk.
But the Bishop caught wind,
Lost control -- with her sinned,
And when finished he buggered a monk.
--- Bob Birch

Have you met our staff psychopath, Totter?
A typical shite and a rotter.
His idea of fun
Is to bugger a nun,
Or else some impoverished squatter.
--- G1069

Said a nun to the Mother Superior,
"I'd like to get it in the interior,
But my pussy's real sore,
(I once was a whore)
So I better get it up the exterior.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At the beach, priest and nun got a thrill,
But she's the one stuck with the bill.
Nothin' says lovin'
Like a bun in the oven --
Next time, she'll remember her pill!
--- Kaylin

I was plumbing a young nun's interior
When in walked the Mother Superior.
With the grimmest of smiles
She said, "If you've piles,
Pray the Bishop finds you most inferior..."
--- John Miller 0260

It was rumored a young priest named Dorgan
Was hung like an eighteen hand Morgan.
He was chased round the church
By two nuns on research
Till they caught him at last by the organ.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8907

A lonely old nun name of Birch,
Enticed a young boy in her search.
When she asked how he fared,
He replied, as he stared,
"It's like singing alone in the church."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0404

A lecherous preacher named Ferrer
Left a nun with a feeling of terror.
For her belly did swell,
But he said, "What the hell,
It is merely a clerical error."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1017

A nun who's a nympho from Bray
Would wear out a cucumber a day.
Kept under her habit,
She'd go like a rabbit,
Fall down on her knees and then pray.
--- Barbara Cunningham P9603

A Mexican nun named Sor Juana,
Was hot as a wop primadonna.
But when the old bishop
Could not get his fish up,
She said, "Anyhow, I don' wanna."
--- L1659

To the church, an old pervert, a Persian,
Willed a sum for post mortem perversion;
Also false teeth and prick
For the sixty nine trick,
Which the nuns found a pleasant diversion.
--- Albin Chaplin

A nun's first occasion to sin,
Had her screaming and shouting "AMEN!"
A hell of a roister,
Right there in the cloister,
Then she prayed, "God! Let's do it again!"
--- John Griffin

A nun from the town of Creve Coeur
Was extremely confused, as it were;
When, from one point of view
She attempted to do
Unto him what he did unto her.
--- Hugh Oliver A072BA

An expedient young fellow was Hugh;
In church he knew just what to do.
While the priest was exhorting
On immoral cavorting,
He was fucking a nun in the pew.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0207

A polluted young nun from the mission
Got pregnant and found herself wishin'
That she'd not gone so far
With the priest in his car,
Till controls were installed on emission.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1061

A loose-moraled missionary named Percy,
Who was well educated and versy,
Said to a young nun,
As he finished his fun,
"That was an emission of mercy."
--- DireWolf

There once was a rounder from Syria,
Who entered a convent's interior.
Ere they loosed him -- what luck --
The dear man had to fuck
All the nuns and the Mother Superior.
--- G1162

A nun told a priest, "I can dish up
A sport capping any you'll wish up.
Played by two, not by one,
And by far give more fun
Than you'll ever get flogging the bishop."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9101

A deaf mute lay asleep on his back,
When a breeze showed two nuns what he packed.
Said the nuns, "Looks like fun!
He can't tell anyone!"
So they led him away to a shack.
--- David Finely

There was a young convent-bound nun,
Who decided she must have some fun.
She climbed over the wall,
When in town, had a ball
Doing things that no nun should have done.
--- Warrick Elrod

A pious young nun from La Plata
Was blessed with the holy stigmata.
They appeared at the rim
Of her virginal quim
When she did what she shouldn't have otta.
--- G1128

"Good heavens above and good gracious!"
Cried Sister Tamara Bodacious,
"I thought I was dreaming
Of creaming, you scheming
And wicked young Brother Ignatius."
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young nun, Sister Harriet,
Who made love in her motorized chariot.
Too bad she got caught,
And to justice was brought.
They now call her Judith Iscariot!
--- Rick Limer T9711