There was a young wresttler named Russell,
Who really enjoyed a good tussle.
Till one fine day,
A huge clam in the bay;
Now Russell's inside of the mussel.
--- Ken Bonnell

There once was a carefree young slug,
Who slurped all the wine from a jug.
On the way back,
He took the wrong tack,
And rolled his way down from the rug.
--- Anon

There was a young man from South Wales,
Who developed a passion for snails.
At night with a shout,
He'd chase them about
With a long knife and cut off their tails.
--- Welsh Rarebit T9712

"Now class," said math teacher Miss Swan,
"Who can define octagon?"
"It lives in the bay,
It's slimy and gray,
And has eight testicles," answered John.
--- Michael Weinstein P8506a

An octopus, feeling quite gay,
Was out for an afternoon's play,
And meaning no harm
He imprisoned my arm
In a tentacle sort of a way.
--- Lims Unlimited

An octopus, purple with passion,
Said, "Sex in the sea they can't ration.
Octopussy, when wet,
Is the best I've found yet--
I sure hope it don't go out of fashion!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 998 G1298

There's a lady in Kalamazoo,
Who first bites her oysters in two.
She has a misgiving,
Should any be living,
They'd raise such a hullabaloo.
--- W Bellamy

An oyster from Kalamazoo,
Confessed he was feeling quite blue,
"For," he said, "as a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew!"
--- Anon

The oyster from sand, made a pearl
Of such beauty, 'twould please any girl.
Though 'twas only a grain,
It gave him great pain;
It caused him to twist and to twirl.
--- Ystap TP9802

There once was a poor little slug,
Who got caught by a mean old thug.
"Oh, Banana, my dear,
I need you, I fear!"
And squished him with a large warm hug.
--- Anon

There was once an old man from Quinault,
Who was said to have only one fault;
He loved birds, beasts, and bugs,
Even sleek, slimy slugs,
Which he tenderly sprinkled with salt.
--- Ed Potts P8606

She sells sea-shells down on the sea-shore;
As she sells shells, she's breaking the law.
She has no license to sell
Just one tiny sea-shell;
She's opened a shell selling store.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

I feel it is quite apropos
To say that you're slower than slow.
It takes you six hours
To water the flowers;
I'd class you with the escargot.
--- Al Willis

A slug with the taste for some brew
Took a tour of an ecofreak's zoo.
There he imbibed
Till his thirst did subside,
And it tasted of cinnamon too!
--- Chris

When it comes to the subject of slugs,
You gardeners are really such mugs.
To keep them in good cheer,
You must give them some beer
Then they'll leave you to tackle the bugs.
--- Franko

"It seems sometimes that life is a load
Of crap," said the snail to the toad.
And having said that,
A truck came and splat!
The snail was all over the road.
--- Mikey Bugg

Once a snail doffed its shell for a race,
And wore paint as disguise in its place.
With no shell on its back,
It outdistanced the pack,
But got fined for not keeping snail's pace!
--- Peter Wilkins

An extraordinary thing is a snail;
It conveniently leaves us a trail.
You can tell where it's been,
If the snail you've not seen,
By the slime that comes out of its tail.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

"Now that's quite a nice house," said Michelle
The slug as she met with a snail;
"How much is it worth?"
"It'd cost you the earth
But I fear that it isn't for sale."
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a sorrowful slug
Who said to a beautiful bug,
"It's a hideous life
When even my wife
Reminds me each day that I'm ugh."
--- Lims Unlimited

A snail said, "The whole human race
Goes along at a terrible pace.
All that rushing and tearing --
I find it so wearing --
I wish they'd all rocket to space!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

While fishing I caught me a squid;
It implored me, "Don't cook me." (It did!)
Then with testicles flung
'Round my body it clung;
With affection I christened it Sid.
--- Peter Wilkins

I thought you were taking a nap.
Did a bunny come over and tap
You on the head,
Waking you instead,
And now you've got one in your lap?
--- Anon

It is hard for me to get repose,
When my hares just keep tickling my toes,
With their soft cotton-tails
And the fur that prevails,
To rub gently here under my nose?
--- Anon

Well hi, little bunny, come here;
Let me stroke you and tickle your ear.
Who's a coochee-coo pretty
Boy fluffykins? Pity
I've picked you for dinner, m'dear.
--- Anon

A lisping old rodent, a rabbit,
(No wonder he's surly and crabbed),
Is scarcely enthralled
When asked, "Are you called
A bunny, a hare, or a wabbit?"

(rabbits are not rodents - McW)
--- Armand E Singer 628

You gonna go eat a wee bunny?
I'm sorry I don't find that funny.
Them bunnies is sweet
But not good to eat,
Watch out for my pistol, now honey!
--- Anon

Ten bunnies, that looked very fine,
Stepped backwards while waiting to dine.
Well if you asked Trav
"What do you have?"
He'd say, "Just a receding hare line."
--- Travis Brasell

Did you ask us what ten rabbits do,
Whilst they try to avoid rabbit stew?
They run hither and yon.
You might see them anon.
They've been drinking some Tullemore Dew.
--- Hilde na Beag

A very old tale now I'll borrow,
But speak more in jest than is sorrow.
The demise of those critters,
Don't give me the jitters.
As they say, hare today, gone tomorrow.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I shot an arrow into the Hare;
It made off as hard as it could tear.
Though I couldn't follow it,
I wished to swallow it,
But it went to earth I know not where.
--- Creatures Facetious P0312

I once knew a rabbit called Fred,
Who understood every word that I said.
If I offered him SPAM,
He'd shout, "Oh, Hell, Damn!
More of that and I'll jump on your head.
--- Mike O'Conner

My sister's rabbit did die;
She's so upset, she went off to cry.
He was as cute as can be,
Now we'll have him for tea;
He will make a wonderful pie.
--- Funny Bone

This is file mck

If your food bill is too high in price,
A proposal we have that is nice.
It's a natural way,
And it's done every day
By the rabbit who eats his food twice.
--- Albin Chaplin

There once was a little white bunny,
Whose cottontail really was funny,
Till he met with a train
That ran over his brain.
Now his white tail is grey, red, and runny.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A poor, chaste, obedient hare
Loved in a French monastaire.
When he wore his habit,
They called him "Frere Rabbit,"
For the blind and the lame he did care.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305

A poor and obedient hare,
Monastic life just couldn't bear.
If I must be chaste
My life I will waste;
I'll marry a wife plump and fair.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306

My dog was so fleet and so rapid,
One day she caught up with a rabbit;
But now she's deceased
After being diseased.
It turned out that the rabbit was rabid.
--- Dr Limerick

The rude rabbit is ruled by a habit
That rabbithood puts in a rabbit.
Without seeming to mind,
Even not rabbitkind,
Mister rabbit will grab it and jab it.
--- David A Brooks Q

There was a young rabbit from Rome,
Wanted London to be his new home.
In under an hour,
He'd dug to the Tower,
And ended up under the Dome.
--- Anon

"I'm worried," a kangaroo said.
"I'm sure that my baby's well-fed,
But he tickles the tum
Of his loving old mum,
By eating his biscuits in bed."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

Those cuddly wombats from Australia
Demonstrate the most curious behavior.
They don't nudge, wink, or date;
They just copulate.
Is there any space left in Australia?

(Population control is a failure!)
--- Archie

"There is one thing I honestly dread,"
Said the marsupial quadruped.
"The kids cause an ouch
Inside of my pouch,
When the dummies eat crackers in bed."

(can a marsupial have kids? - McW)
--- Al Willis

The cuscus observed the bright blossom,
But the distance up to it was awesome.
He wondered, "Can I
Really climb up that high?
Cogito," he replied, "ergo possum."
--- P8611

There once was a young kangaroo
Who played on the didgeridoo.
When asked why he did it,
He said, "I'm a fidget --
I like having something to do."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

There once was a fitness guru,
Who owned a fine kangaroo.
The 'roo did hop
Right over the top,
And flattened the guru's hair-do.
--- Holzmille2

My pet kangaroo is no slouch,
At fitting large things in her pouch.
As spurred cowboy tried
To use her to hide...
They found him when Roo hollered OUCH!
--- Frank Fazed

As we contemplate the kangaroo,
We're amazed at what one can do.
With one little leap
He leaps over a jeep,
Which I can't do, nor can you.
--- William K Alsop Jr

There once was an old kangaroo,
Who painted his children sky-blue.
When his wife said, "My dear,
Don't you think they look queer?"
He said, "Quiet, or next will be you!"
--- Anon

In Australia, a tired kangaroo
Said, "With hopping and leaping I'm through.
But, before I retire,
I'll jump once more -- still higher..."
He did, and came down in Peru.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

The koala's really not a bear
And you rarely find him anywhere
But in a eucalyptus tree;
Peeking around at thee and me,
About whom he's very much aware.
--- William K Alsop Jr

A fuzzy wuzzy koala bear
Then someone shaved the koala bare.
No more was he fuzzy.
Now, most upset was he.
We had to give the koala Bayer.
--- Irving Superior P8611

Said the naturalist James from Sedalia,
"No wild Cockatoos live in Westphalia.
But on balance", said he,
"Should you go there you'll see.
Likewise, no wild squirrels live in Australia."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0508

A 'possum lies down on his ear
Whenever a danger is near.
He acts dead as a stone
So you'll leave him alone,
And jumps up when the coast is all clear.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0106

"This confession I make, dear, to you;
I'm a klepto," said ma kangaroo;
"Fagin isn't your brother;
I'm not really your mother;
For I did pick a pocket or two."
--- Anon

A wicked young gent from Australia
Put fear in the outback's mammalia.
At night he'd come creepin'
To where they was sleepin',
To reveal things too secret to tell ya'.
--- Lims For Year - 01

A drive in the springtime is awesome,
With flowers and trees in full blossom.
I turn for a look
At the deer by the brook,
And, distracted, ran over a 'possum.
--- Jerry Nordal P0310

A good way to make the time pass
Is by smoking a kangaroo's ass.
Making Mr. Roo jump
From the burns on his rump
Is a far better high than from grass.
--- Chairman Steve

A kangaroo came from Australia,
With all of her paraphernalia.
It was crammed in her pouch:
Her joey cried, "Ouch!
This stuff can attack and assail ya!"
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305

A tyro rock digger from Perth
Did manage at last to unearth
Some stinky outcroppings
Of wallaby droppings --
A subject of uncontrolled mirth.
--- Armand E Singer 277

An employee of the zoo named Pat
Sued her boss for harassment, the rat.
In court he denied
Any comments snide;
"All I said was, where's your Wombat?"
--- Tom Patton P9702

The Australian Wombat weaves
A legend of what he achieves.
When out on a date
With a wombatty mate,
He always eats roots, shoots and leaves.
--- Archie

Australia's peaceful mom wombat
Tries hard to avoid careless combat.
The best wombat mommies
Just care for the wommies,
And combat is left to the tomcat.
--- David A Brooks Q

Wombats hide under the ground;
Its hard to know if they're around.
But if the earth moves
Before you make looves,
You'd better get off of its mound.
--- Nik

The whispering wombat of doom
Will come for those sinners for whom
There is no salvation;
They're bound for damnation,
As soon as they're dropped in the tomb.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The wittering wombat of grace
Appears in the good people's case.
That shows they will fly
With new wings, in the sky,
And find there a pleasanter place.
--- Tiddy Ogg