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There was a young wresttler named Russell, There once was a carefree young slug, There was a young man from South Wales, "Now class," said math teacher Miss Swan, An octopus, feeling quite gay, An octopus, purple with passion, There's a lady in Kalamazoo, An oyster from Kalamazoo, The oyster from sand, made a pearl There once was a poor little slug, There was once an old man from Quinault, She sells sea-shells down on the sea-shore; I feel it is quite apropos A slug with the taste for some brew When it comes to the subject of slugs, "It seems sometimes that life is a load Once a snail doffed its shell for a race, An extraordinary thing is a snail; "Now that's quite a nice house," said Michelle There once was a sorrowful slug A snail said, "The whole human race While fishing I caught me a squid; I thought you were taking a nap. It is hard for me to get repose, Well hi, little bunny, come here; A lisping old rodent, a rabbit, (rabbits are not rodents - McW)
You gonna go eat a wee bunny? Ten bunnies, that looked very fine, Did you ask us what ten rabbits do, A very old tale now I'll borrow, I shot an arrow into the Hare; I once knew a rabbit called Fred, My sister's rabbit did die; If your food bill is too high in price, There once was a little white bunny, A poor, chaste, obedient hare A poor and obedient hare, My dog was so fleet and so rapid, The rude rabbit is ruled by a habit There was a young rabbit from Rome, "I'm worried," a kangaroo said. Those cuddly wombats from Australia (Population control is a failure!)
"There is one thing I honestly dread," (can a marsupial have kids? - McW)
The cuscus observed the bright blossom, There once was a young kangaroo There once was a fitness guru, My pet kangaroo is no slouch, As we contemplate the kangaroo, There once was an old kangaroo, In Australia, a tired kangaroo The koala's really not a bear A fuzzy wuzzy koala bear Said the naturalist James from Sedalia, A 'possum lies down on his ear "This confession I make, dear, to you; A wicked young gent from Australia A drive in the springtime is awesome, A good way to make the time pass A kangaroo came from Australia, A tyro rock digger from Perth An employee of the zoo named Pat The Australian Wombat weaves Australia's peaceful mom wombat Wombats hide under the ground; The whispering wombat of doom The wittering wombat of grace
Who really enjoyed a good tussle.
Till one fine day,
A huge clam in the bay;
Now Russell's inside of the mussel.
--- Ken Bonnell
Who slurped all the wine from a jug.
On the way back,
He took the wrong tack,
And rolled his way down from the rug.
--- Anon
Who developed a passion for snails.
At night with a shout,
He'd chase them about
With a long knife and cut off their tails.
--- Welsh Rarebit T9712
"Who can define octagon?"
"It lives in the bay,
It's slimy and gray,
And has eight testicles," answered John.
--- Michael Weinstein P8506a
Was out for an afternoon's play,
And meaning no harm
He imprisoned my arm
In a tentacle sort of a way.
--- Lims Unlimited
Said, "Sex in the sea they can't ration.
Octopussy, when wet,
Is the best I've found yet--
I sure hope it don't go out of fashion!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 998 G1298
Who first bites her oysters in two.
She has a misgiving,
Should any be living,
They'd raise such a hullabaloo.
--- W Bellamy
Confessed he was feeling quite blue,
"For," he said, "as a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew!"
--- Anon
Of such beauty, 'twould please any girl.
Though 'twas only a grain,
It gave him great pain;
It caused him to twist and to twirl.
--- Ystap TP9802
Who got caught by a mean old thug.
"Oh, Banana, my dear,
I need you, I fear!"
And squished him with a large warm hug.
--- Anon
Who was said to have only one fault;
He loved birds, beasts, and bugs,
Even sleek, slimy slugs,
Which he tenderly sprinkled with salt.
--- Ed Potts P8606
As she sells shells, she's breaking the law.
She has no license to sell
Just one tiny sea-shell;
She's opened a shell selling store.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
To say that you're slower than slow.
It takes you six hours
To water the flowers;
I'd class you with the escargot.
--- Al Willis
Took a tour of an ecofreak's zoo.
There he imbibed
Till his thirst did subside,
And it tasted of cinnamon too!
--- Chris
You gardeners are really such mugs.
To keep them in good cheer,
You must give them some beer
Then they'll leave you to tackle the bugs.
--- Franko
Of crap," said the snail to the toad.
And having said that,
A truck came and splat!
The snail was all over the road.
--- Mikey Bugg
And wore paint as disguise in its place.
With no shell on its back,
It outdistanced the pack,
But got fined for not keeping snail's pace!
--- Peter Wilkins
It conveniently leaves us a trail.
You can tell where it's been,
If the snail you've not seen,
By the slime that comes out of its tail.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
The slug as she met with a snail;
"How much is it worth?"
"It'd cost you the earth
But I fear that it isn't for sale."
--- Peter Wilkins
Who said to a beautiful bug,
"It's a hideous life
When even my wife
Reminds me each day that I'm ugh."
--- Lims Unlimited
Goes along at a terrible pace.
All that rushing and tearing --
I find it so wearing --
I wish they'd all rocket to space!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
It implored me, "Don't cook me." (It did!)
Then with testicles flung
'Round my body it clung;
With affection I christened it Sid.
--- Peter Wilkins
Did a bunny come over and tap
You on the head,
Waking you instead,
And now you've got one in your lap?
--- Anon
When my hares just keep tickling my toes,
With their soft cotton-tails
And the fur that prevails,
To rub gently here under my nose?
--- Anon
Let me stroke you and tickle your ear.
Who's a coochee-coo pretty
Boy fluffykins? Pity
I've picked you for dinner, m'dear.
--- Anon
(No wonder he's surly and crabbed),
Is scarcely enthralled
When asked, "Are you called
A bunny, a hare, or a wabbit?"
--- Armand E Singer 628
I'm sorry I don't find that funny.
Them bunnies is sweet
But not good to eat,
Watch out for my pistol, now honey!
--- Anon
Stepped backwards while waiting to dine.
Well if you asked Trav
"What do you have?"
He'd say, "Just a receding hare line."
--- Travis Brasell
Whilst they try to avoid rabbit stew?
They run hither and yon.
You might see them anon.
They've been drinking some Tullemore Dew.
--- Hilde na Beag
But speak more in jest than is sorrow.
The demise of those critters,
Don't give me the jitters.
As they say, hare today, gone tomorrow.
--- Tiddy Ogg
It made off as hard as it could tear.
Though I couldn't follow it,
I wished to swallow it,
But it went to earth I know not where.
--- Creatures Facetious P0312
Who understood every word that I said.
If I offered him SPAM,
He'd shout, "Oh, Hell, Damn!
More of that and I'll jump on your head.
--- Mike O'Conner
She's so upset, she went off to cry.
He was as cute as can be,
Now we'll have him for tea;
He will make a wonderful pie.
--- Funny Bone
This is file mck
A proposal we have that is nice.
It's a natural way,
And it's done every day
By the rabbit who eats his food twice.
--- Albin Chaplin
Whose cottontail really was funny,
Till he met with a train
That ran over his brain.
Now his white tail is grey, red, and runny.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Loved in a French monastaire.
When he wore his habit,
They called him "Frere Rabbit,"
For the blind and the lame he did care.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305
Monastic life just couldn't bear.
If I must be chaste
My life I will waste;
I'll marry a wife plump and fair.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306
One day she caught up with a rabbit;
But now she's deceased
After being diseased.
It turned out that the rabbit was rabid.
--- Dr Limerick
That rabbithood puts in a rabbit.
Without seeming to mind,
Even not rabbitkind,
Mister rabbit will grab it and jab it.
--- David A Brooks Q
Wanted London to be his new home.
In under an hour,
He'd dug to the Tower,
And ended up under the Dome.
--- Anon
"I'm sure that my baby's well-fed,
But he tickles the tum
Of his loving old mum,
By eating his biscuits in bed."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Demonstrate the most curious behavior.
They don't nudge, wink, or date;
They just copulate.
Is there any space left in Australia?
--- Archie
Said the marsupial quadruped.
"The kids cause an ouch
Inside of my pouch,
When the dummies eat crackers in bed."
--- Al Willis
But the distance up to it was awesome.
He wondered, "Can I
Really climb up that high?
Cogito," he replied, "ergo possum."
--- P8611
Who played on the didgeridoo.
When asked why he did it,
He said, "I'm a fidget --
I like having something to do."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Who owned a fine kangaroo.
The 'roo did hop
Right over the top,
And flattened the guru's hair-do.
--- Holzmille2
At fitting large things in her pouch.
As spurred cowboy tried
To use her to hide...
They found him when Roo hollered OUCH!
--- Frank Fazed
We're amazed at what one can do.
With one little leap
He leaps over a jeep,
Which I can't do, nor can you.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Who painted his children sky-blue.
When his wife said, "My dear,
Don't you think they look queer?"
He said, "Quiet, or next will be you!"
--- Anon
Said, "With hopping and leaping I'm through.
But, before I retire,
I'll jump once more -- still higher..."
He did, and came down in Peru.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
And you rarely find him anywhere
But in a eucalyptus tree;
Peeking around at thee and me,
About whom he's very much aware.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Then someone shaved the koala bare.
No more was he fuzzy.
Now, most upset was he.
We had to give the koala Bayer.
--- Irving Superior P8611
"No wild Cockatoos live in Westphalia.
But on balance", said he,
"Should you go there you'll see.
Likewise, no wild squirrels live in Australia."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0508
Whenever a danger is near.
He acts dead as a stone
So you'll leave him alone,
And jumps up when the coast is all clear.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0106
I'm a klepto," said ma kangaroo;
"Fagin isn't your brother;
I'm not really your mother;
For I did pick a pocket or two."
--- Anon
Put fear in the outback's mammalia.
At night he'd come creepin'
To where they was sleepin',
To reveal things too secret to tell ya'.
--- Lims For Year - 01
With flowers and trees in full blossom.
I turn for a look
At the deer by the brook,
And, distracted, ran over a 'possum.
--- Jerry Nordal P0310
Is by smoking a kangaroo's ass.
Making Mr. Roo jump
From the burns on his rump
Is a far better high than from grass.
--- Chairman Steve
With all of her paraphernalia.
It was crammed in her pouch:
Her joey cried, "Ouch!
This stuff can attack and assail ya!"
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305
Did manage at last to unearth
Some stinky outcroppings
Of wallaby droppings --
A subject of uncontrolled mirth.
--- Armand E Singer 277
Sued her boss for harassment, the rat.
In court he denied
Any comments snide;
"All I said was, where's your Wombat?"
--- Tom Patton P9702
A legend of what he achieves.
When out on a date
With a wombatty mate,
He always eats roots, shoots and leaves.
--- Archie
Tries hard to avoid careless combat.
The best wombat mommies
Just care for the wommies,
And combat is left to the tomcat.
--- David A Brooks Q
Its hard to know if they're around.
But if the earth moves
Before you make looves,
You'd better get off of its mound.
--- Nik
Will come for those sinners for whom
There is no salvation;
They're bound for damnation,
As soon as they're dropped in the tomb.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Appears in the good people's case.
That shows they will fly
With new wings, in the sky,
And find there a pleasanter place.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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