I once say a ten inch earthworm, A worm with a fear of enclosure There was an old lady of Herm, A worm on the highway was pacing; There was a young angler of Worthing, The worm 'neath the table did squirm, The early bird catches the worm Our disgust from some creatures that dwell There once was a lady horse-rider, My blood is not pure, no indeed; Is fear of arachnids endemic? New Guinea has giant ones too! There was a black widow named Bridgette, I once saw a hairy great spider In her weird Rastafarian mood, Arachnid, the ultimate worst! Hey Spider! I'll give you an hint: Now don't shout that spiders be banned, I tried making deals with my spiders; If spiders sneak upstairs on me, There's one thing I like spiders for; Environments hopelessly screwed, I can just whack them with a shoe; They should stay away from my space; I understand the spiders aim; Suggesting such things, you deserve I have lots of 'em here, shiny black This morning I found near my door, Well now, I thought that the spider "Mark my words, this sight's a delight," Don't stand there, to shiver amd shake; Like scorpions, limericks tend A charming and sensitive spider
This is file mdk
A spider I know is quite bright; There was a young lady called Ida, Vampie, a black-widow spider, These spiders are freaking me out! They spin their way down from the ceiling; If your spiders all want to move here, If they've not sufficient renown There once was a woman named Ida If that spider upon you does crawl, A young macho spider named Paul I wander 'round naked at night An old lady swallowed a spider. (parody of children's song 'I know an old lady who...')
So on a gallon of scrumpy she's dining; Tarantulas here can be found, You all should be thankful for spiders. The Trombiculadae, known as chiggers, I'm making a study of snails. They are pokey and slow, in extreme. They've unusual habits when mating. I admire their capabilities so. The ammonites swam in the sea A clever young boy from South Wales Slimy molluscs leave a smear, There once was a clam from Nantucket, In times of stress and commotion, Conchs in a large algal bed Seaweed must drive conchs neurotic, There once was a conch from Belize, A lobster that's spiney, can tell They live in an intimate cloister; With an "S" stencilled on it by Margo, The shellfish, enjoyed without haste, I'm glad I'm not a clam A slug with a hunger for speed,
Whose hair was done up in a perm.
When told he looked dumb,
"Not so!" said his mum,
"But it certainly would on a germ."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tried hard not to lose his composure,
When faced with the fact
He was being attacked,
But eventually died of exposure.
--- Ryan Waldron
Who tied bows on the tail of a worm.
Said she, "You look festive,
But don't become restive,
You'll throw them right off if you squirm.
--- Anon
Uncertain, his worm brain was racing.
"I don't have a nose,
No fingers, no toes;
It's hard to tell which way I'm facing!"
--- Eric Hinds
Who dug up ten worms and a fur thing.
He said, "How I wish
Eleven fine fish
Would snap up these things I'm unearthing."
--- Anon
And turned so that he could confirm
If the bird was still there --
To his utter despair,
The table was turned on the worm.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2804
By watching to see the worm squirm.
If the worm would be still,
When he sees the bird's bill,
He could save his own epiderm.
--- Warrick Elrod
Under rocks can be real hard to quell.
But it does seem to me
That an apology
Is owed to the spiders as well.
--- John Miller
Who carelessly swallowed a spider;
Chased it down with an apple,
Then started to grapple,
With the spider in cider inside her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
One half of it's Finnish, half Swede,
With an eight-legged pet,
A brown spiderette,
Who only comes out for to feed.
--- Anneli Blomqvist
Liz yells and becomes quite bulemic.
If one's on the wall,
She lets out a squall!
Extinction becomes quite systemic.
--- Archie
The size of a dinner plate, true.
The eat up small birds,
To nasty for words,
You kill with a shovel, please do!
--- Archie
Whose mate was a smaller sized midget.
After courting a bunch,
She ate him for lunch.
Now she's bored and inclined thus to fidget.
--- Marilee TP9806
Fall into a pint jug of cider.
Greedy Gert snatched the jug;
Drank the lot - glug, glug, glug.
Now the spider's residing inside her.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
The spider then braided her brood.
Their legs were all tangled,
And some were quite mangled.
Now she's going to use them for food.
--- Marlene Lewis
Don't you hate the sound when they burst?
The sound of that crunch
Makes me lose my lunch.
The spiders claim they were here first.
--- Marlene
You crawl here and you'll do a stint,
Flushed down my toilet!
Thought my broom would foil it --
It turned out to just be some lint.
--- Marlene Lewis
Watching two courting spiders is grand.
In corners of rooms,
They spin their fine looms,
While walking around hand in hand in hand.....
--- Tiddy Ogg
If I am inside, they're outsiders.
They have the basement,
No window casement;
At no time may spiders be biters.
--- Marlene
I do not invite them for tea.
I shriek at them first,
And then do the worst
By spraying them with DDT.
--- Marlene
I tolerate them on my floor.
I find that their ways
Make pleasanter days,
By eating up roaches and more.
--- Liam na Beag
But my spiders genes are all skewed!
I warned them before;
They're asking for more;
I can employ methods more crude.
--- Marlene
I've been known to squash one or two.
The sound that it makes
Will give me the shakes,
And I don't like cleaning up the goo.
--- Marlene
Go somewhere and build their own place.
I've no sympathy
For things that scare me;
They are an unnatural race.
--- Marlene
The spiders are looking for fame.
The darn little varlets
All want to be Charlottes,
But Wilbur is just not my name!
--- Marlene
To have someone throw you a curve.
I hope spiders do
Take bites out of you,
'Til you're too sore to be a perv!
--- Anon
That I don't care to find in my sack.
I could gather a few
And send them to you,
And I won't ever ask for them back ...
--- Anon
That spider of Miss Muffet lore.
Now she needn't worry
To hurry and scurry --
I now have evened the score.
--- Travis Brasell
Hadn't merely been trying to fight her.
He saw cute Miss Muffet
And wanted to stuff it;
But he just couldn't get it insider her?
--- Travis Brasell
Said the Scots Missionary, McKnight.
"Under my microscope
Here, you can see, I hope
That wee insect, the 'Poor Widow's Mite'."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9809
Grab the spider and then you can take
The legs off, then placin'
The rest in a basin,
And use for raisins in fruit cake.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To deny any plans to offend,
But then stab their prey
In a devilish way
With the stinger they hide at the end.
--- Norm Storer P9407
Had long grieved that Love was denied her.
There came a young male
Who was sweet, but small-scale;
So she ate him, and that satisfied her.
--- Beelzebub
He has wisdom and wit and insight.
There's no one who's shrewder;
He has a computer
And soon he will have a web site.
--- Al Willis
Whose vagina was home to a spider.
Men proud of their size
Would open their flies,
And the spider inside her said "Wider".
--- Anon
Took a bite of a lady named Eider.
The poor woman was bit
Right on her LEFT tit,
While she sat on her porch drinking cider.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305
The way that they sneak roundabout.
My livingroom floor,
Is becoming a store,
When I spot them I give them a clout.
--- Anon
They don't make me feel much like squealing.
I like the small thugs
They eat other bugs,
And give me a most secure feeling.
--- Anon
They are welcome to live free and clear.
Even the big guys,
They eat the most big flies,
The arachnids live here without fear.
--- Anon
I do have a few that are brown.
Although harder to find
Than the black widow kind,
Their bite can still lead you to frown.
--- Anon
Who sat down beside a big spider.
The spider crept nearer,
But Ida didn't hear her...
Now the spider's a little bit wider.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
I'll crush it during love's thralls.
It will make quite a mess
On your body, not dress;
You'd rather it was still on the wall?
--- Tiddy Ogg
Imagined himself ten feet tall.
At friends warnings he sneezed;
Said he'd do as he pleased.
Now he's just a stain on the wall.
--- William D Robinson
To give all the spiders a fright --
I think it's their turn.
Perhaps they will learn
That they should stay out of my sight.
--- Marlene
As you know, it wriggled inside her.
Did she then eat a bird?
No, that choice she deferred,
And trusted instead to strong cider.
--- Anon
The danger is not quite divining.
Her problem was solved,
The spider dissolved,
But, alas, so did her stomach lining.
--- Anon
A type that lives under the ground.
They're skittish and hairy
And just a bit scary;
In Texas such critters abound.
--- Anon
Let me inform you outsiders:
There's a lot to be gained
If your spiders are trained
To bring to you wine, cheese, and ciders.
--- Nikita
Were once thought to be diligent diggers.
The saliva in the bite
Of the juvenal mite,
Is despised for the itch that it triggers.
--- Jilbur
Those thing that leave slimy greet trails.
They've survived through the ages
Against odds so outrageous,
I want to know what that entails.
--- June Sullivan P8405
Mosey aimlessly 'round, it would seem.
But that tidy shell pack
That is perched on their back
Is a mobile home. What a neat scheme!
--- June Sullivan P8405
How do they find gender when dating?
Well, the snails seem to know.
It can't figure it though.
Have you ever tried under-a-house copulating.
--- June Sullivan P8405
Each snail knows where each part should go.
I think that's terrific,
And while not scientific,
Try doing it balanced on one toe.
--- June Sullivan P8405
Around four hundred million B.C.
Till their elegant shells
Settled under the swells;
Now their fossilized mollusc debris.
--- David Morin
Once trained him an army of snails.
Cardiff, in time,
Killed off all the slime
By soaking the streets in cheap ales.
--- H Welchel
As they slither wide and near.
But what's most disturbin'
And keep's me a worryin',
Is they'll take a bath in your beer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who found himself caught in a bucket.
No one finger salute,
For this bivalve so cute,
So he hauled off and just said, "Oh Fuck it!"
--- Steven A Shaw
The conch moves with curious motion.
Not your typical creep,
It moves with a leap
In it's only display of emotion.
--- J Caldiera
Eat all that they can, it is said.
But they're not color blind
'Cause they selectively find
Algae that's brown and/or red.
--- J Caldiera
For they start life by living upon it.
But a strange twist of fate,
They become the substrate
For flora. They're epibiotic.
--- J Caldiera
Who led a short life of ease.
In a turtle grass bed,
All day he just fed,
And he did whatever he'd please.
--- J Caldiera
The locale of a conch by its smell.
The shell it will crunch
And have it for lunch,
Eating it on the half-shell.
--- J Caldiera
Their bodies can't be any moister.
They eat what blows by.
They cum with a sigh,
'Cause they'll never kiss, they're an oyster.
--- Anon
And sent long ago by Wells Fargo,
The package of snails
Took an "age" to reach Wales.
(It needs patience to wait for "S"-cargo.)
--- Peter Wilkins
Is slippery and with flavor laced.
Compared to the oyster,
I'm sure Kaylin's moister,
And hasn't a shell 'neath her waist.
--- Frank
Instead of what I am;
He lies in bed
Without a spread,
And no one gives a damn.
--- Lims Unlimited
Soon succumbed to his passionate greed.
He considered it fun
To be shot from a gun,
Till his head from his body was freed.
--- Ryan Waldron