I have a dear pet; he's aquatic,
And getting to be quite sclerotic.
But if he ever dies,
There'll be more than just sighs!
I just might become a neurotic!
--- TuttaGioia

I'm not a great fan of the pike.
I once had one I didn't like.
It burst into flames
And called me rude names,
Then it followed me home on a bike.
--- Kevin Hale Q

There was an old lady called Sue,
Who kept piranahs inside her loo.
They'd eat anyone,
Bite a hole in your bum,
And bite off your dangly bits too!
--- P Copeman

The piranhas are suffering from tabes,
Foaming and biting like crab-ese.
Like white blood corpuscles
Flexing little white muscles,
Fighting hard but infected with rabies.
--- Anon

Of all the ferocious fauna,
There's nothing like a piranha;
It's only fiat,
A catholic diet.
It eats both the native and bwana.
--- Timothy Torkildson

The fisherman, though a beginner,
Saw himself as the contests new winner.
But he made a mistake
And fell into the lake;
The piranhas took home a nice dinner.
--- Richard Long

A Sunday-school teacher in Edgewood
Thought all his kids were real good;
'Till they dreamed up a prank,
Pirhanas in baptismal tank;
"Whazzat? Get in?" No new member would!
--- Anon

There once was a fish in a pail,
Who fed upon minnows and ale;
He lived in an attic;
His scales were chromatic;
But he played a whole note with his tail.
--- Limber Limericks

There was a young fisher named Olga,
Who angled one morning for tolga.
These fish are like kippers
With red carpet slippers,
And chiefly inhabit the Volga.
--- Langford Reed

REMORA make old salt see red,
From hook they are rapidly shed
To drift to sea bed
So crabs can be fed;
This attitude toward them's widespread.
--- Marilyn M.

They resemble the sole of a Ked;
Looks quite like an old tire tread.
Be they live or quite dead,
From REMORAs I've fled,
Seeking bluer waters instead.
--- Marilyn M.

REMORA, called tennis shoe head,
A catch Texas fisherman dread
To see on their line
On a fishing day fine,
Profanity never left unsaid.
--- Marilyn M

REMORA announced with some pride,
Attached to a shark's underside,
"This big finny beast
Is a movable feast,
So I'll just go along for the ride."
--- Chris Papa

Symbiotic fish, the REMORA,
Clings to some big fish like flora,
To pick up detritus,
Not at all to bite us,
Though it does have a sinister aura.
--- Daniel Ford

There once was a naughty old salmon
Who claimed he served both God and Mammon.
But please understand,
The poor fish was canned
When he talked this nonsensical gammon.

(gammon - talk intended to deceive)
--- Little Billie

The first time a young sardine
Got a view of a big submarine,
Mamma Sardine said,
"Now don't be afraid.
That's a can full of people, you've seen."
--- Leland B Jacobs P2005

I have no feelings for the smelt;
Perhaps no feelings should be felt.
I know this is a fish
That cooks to a nice dish;
I'm not sure if it's fat, flat, or svelte.
--- William K Alsop Jr

"I hate those snail darters," I cry.
"And a minnow does not catch my eye.
These wee, tiny fish
Do not make a dish,
And I know there are big fish to fry."
--- Al Willis

Said a breeder of goldfish at Wandsworth,
"How much are the fish in my ponds worth?"
Said an expert "For fee
I will sort them and see,
For a brunette's worth more than a blonde's worth."
--- Langford Reed

If there's a fillet of soul, then it's true,
That the soul has a fillet -- some clew!
Though it does seem incredible
That the soul should be edible,
I think it's convincing, don't you?
--- Limeratomy - Euwer P8708

A sting ray named May took a notion
That she needed a pretty pink lotion
To keep her skin soft,
But it kept washing off,
Cause she lived in the watery ocean.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0106

An ophthamological surgeon
Fixed a cataract lens on a sturgeon.
Since the fish now could see,
It wasn't long before he
Swam away without any more urgin'.
--- Phred

A sucker fish made a big hit
With his mother, who told him, "Don't quit
Your job in that tank full
Of water; be thankful
You've got a good job eating shit!"
--- Travis Brasell

A goldfish who's circling frustrated
While guarding a female he'd mated,
Seduced twenty others
But guarding those mothers,
He died as he super-rotated!
--- Prof M-G TP9901

Aqua, a light greenish blue,
And aquamarine, the same hue,
Both stem, as they oughta,
From aqua from water;
The stuff that the pisces swim through.
--- Anon

There once was a young man named Sam;
In the Amazon he went and swam.
When he swam in the heat,
The fish thought him meat,
And ate him up just like a ham.
--- Anon

A short-sighted man from Havana
Confused clothing with flora and fauna;
He was heard to say "Ouch"
When a black posing pouch,
Turned out to be three small piranha.
--- Linda Marsh Coll

A goldfish whom circling frustrated,
Had from a good school graduated.
With hopes of high rank,
In an upscale fish tank...
For a bowl he's just too educated.
--- Peter Wilkins

To avoid getting chased by a shark,
Buy a dogfish and teach it to bark.
Then you get it to breed.
To be sure you succeed,
Show it pictures of old Alan Clark.
--- Kevin Hale Q

There once was a man who liked trout;
That piranhas were near he did doubt.
But those mean little fish
Did indeed exist.
From the river he never got out.
--- Rory Ewins

A sweet-loving fish is the Turbot;
For one, that we all know as Herbert,
Has told us the truth,
That he has a sweet tooth.
Yes Herbert the Turbot likes Sherbert.
--- Chris Woods

There once was a poor little hake
With whom nature had made a mistake.
She'd a face like a pike,
With a fin like a spike,
And she was the joke of the lake.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Then a mussel, from its shell emergin',
Persuaded her without much urgin',
"Now don't be coy,
Go and see that old boy,
He'll fix it, he's a plastic sturgeon."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This is file lkk

A girl lost her goldfish, named Sue.
It had gone down the plughole, she knew.
But this dear little friend
Made its way 'round the bend--
And sprang up from out of the loo.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

Said an eel to a fish, "It does seem
Rather strange, seeing you swim upstream.
When salmon do this,
There's nothing amiss,
But you're not one of them, you're a bream!
--- Alexander Baron

"Two weeks at Bull Shoals," complained Drew
"And there's one thing I wish that I knew --
Why the fish of the nation
Seem to take a vacation
The same time the fishermen do."
--- A N Wilkins P8610

From the seashore a lady of Hilo
Paddled out with her arms on a lilo. [?]
A triangular fin
Swam beneath with a grin...
Now she's known as the Venus de Milo.
--- Hugh Oliver A040B

A stout fellow in Richmond, Virginia,
Has been told he'd be better off skinnier...
He drinks fish oil like water,
And swims miles like an otter...
So he's not so amorphous, but finnier.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

"Each year by the thousands they're led
To the parks," said a ranger named Fred.
"The men mostly wishing
For some days of good fishing,
While the women are hunting instead."
--- A N Wilkins P8610

A physics professor named Parks
Was famed for his knowledge of quarks;
He figured they might,
Connected just right,
Be used to electrocute sharks.
--- Armand E Singer 583

Of all fishes which I ever saw,
The "Great White" no doubt inspired the most awe.
And you never will bother
To inquire of his father,
When you've once seen the size of his maw.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310

If you're not afraid of the water,
After reading how "Jaws" got the daughter
Of some poor old man,
Then think less of your tan,
And more about that which you oughter.
--- Macsam

Jaws, a ravenous shark,
Lurked in ocean depths very dark;
Until he caught a glimmer
Of a poor hapless swimmer,
Then his razor-sharp teeth hit their mark.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306

Now ladies and children pleaase hark;
Have no fear of the man-eating shark.
For as you will see,
A gentleman, he,
On a lady will not leave a mark.
--- Tiddy Ogg

On a honeymoon cruise, a young bride,
One morning fell over the side.
A shark drifting near
Wondered what is that here,
And slowly towards her did glide.
--- Tiddy Ogg

She floundered and flounced in the water,
But the shark only did what he oughter;
With his great dorsal fin,
Hooked under her chin,
He did what he could to support 'er.
--- Tiddy Ogg

He came where the ship was now moored;
She was very soon hoisted aboard.
In her joy there were tears,
And a shout of "Three cheers!"
"Hurrah!" all those passengers roared.
--- Tiddy Ogg

To the side of the boat came the skipper
And bowed. The shark raised a flipper,
Knocked that man off the boat,
Right into his throat,
And swallowed him down like a kipper.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The shark, a misunderstood creature,
Is less a killer, more a teacher.
Not a bone in its frame;
We should not defame
Its grin in our next creature feature.
--- Megarator

Shark fishing is just what I do;
I wade at the edge of the blue.
No fishing can compare
To the feeling that's there,
When the fish can also eat you.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I was making a violent commotion,
And the shark had detected the motion
Of someone like me,
(As you can see)
Splashing around in ITS ocean.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

All the bathers down in Miami
Wade the ocean with hands so clammy,
To the sharks just the smell
Is a shark's dinner bell.
Open jaws, start the run, then whammy!
--- Tom Patton P0110

The sharks are a frightening clan --
Their forces the seven sease span;
But some sharks are selective
Or perhaps they're defective,
For on Fridays, they never eat man.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2496

My neighbor, a Mrs McWhirter
Is certain no creature would hurt her.
Watching PBS
To risky excess,
A swim with the sharks would convert her.
--- Graham Lester

There was a young lady of Ryde,
Who was carried too far by the tide.
Cried a man-eating shark,
"How's this for a lark?
I knew that the Lord would provide."
--- Blaketon Smith

The shark we know can turn vicious,
And sometimes even PERNICIOUS.
But Chinese and their kin
Turn it's dorsal fin
Into a soup that's considered delicious.
--- Norm Brust

A lady swimmmer from Sark
Met up with a man-eating shark.
The shark swam away
From the lady that day.
She swam safely home before dark.
--- Dick Fredeman

There once was a stately giraffe,
Whose motto was "Nothing by half!"
His old friend, the tapir,
Said, "Cut me a caper, --
It's a year since I've had a good laugh!"
--- Margaret Vandegrift

So, to please him, the gracious giraffe
Jumped over a cow and her calf;
But when the old tapir
Told folks of this caper,
They said, "That's just more of your chaff."
--- Margaret Vandegrift

"He's a dignified chap, that giraffe,
And we know he does nothing by half;
We can understand how
He might jump o'er a cow,
But he'd never jump over a calf.
--- Margaret Vandergrift

There once was a woman from France
Who kept a giraffe in her pants.
His neck was so long,
It got caught in her thong
And his movements affected her stance.
--- Tillmanator

There once was a giraffe who said, "What
Do I want with my tea strong and hot?
For my throat's such a length,
The tea loses its strength,
And is cold ere it reaches the spot."
--- Oliver Herford

The giraffe, eating out of a tree,
Told the animals, "Get lost, can't you see.
My feature attraction
That gets all the action:
The highballs are always on me."
--- Theo M Heller P9206 a

Jake was a real tall giraffe;
His neck measured a mile and a half.
He sure couldn't gloat
When he got a sore throat;
It was terribly painful to laugh.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306

The giraffe is a marvelous beast;
He is short from the West to the East.
But from North at his mouth,
To his tummy, down South.
It's a ten-minute swallow, at least.
--- Herbert B. Swope P9312

The problem with any giraffe
Is their neck is so long, when they quaff,
The liquid dries out
So close to the snout,
They might as well be drinking De-caff.
--- S C Saint