Though I know that this groping is feeble,
I insist that we can't leave out kneeble!
Said the grad with a smile,
"Such perversions so vile
That only a sophomore or plebe'll."
--- John Miller

I know that some sweat from a boob'll
Help slick up a cunt for a knooble;
In case I am wrong,
Some lard on your dong
Or grease from a can'll or tube'll!
--- Travis Brasell

The law isn't very soon liable
To let you get by with a knyble
When plain common sense
Won't serve as a defense,
Then maybe a sizable bribe'll.
--- John Miller

I hereby do swear on the Bible
That when I no longer can knybble
And only just grunt
At the sight of a cunt,
And can't carry on, still my tribe'll.
--- John Miller

My tutor when young was stout Mabel
Who taught me to dance and to knaible.
The stuff that we did
When I was a kid
Had the makings of legend and fable.
--- John Miller

And when I'm so old I'm unable
To do just an old-fashioned knaible,
Please come and partake
Of the food at my wake,
And drink yourself under the table.
--- John Miller

LULLABUOY keeps you awake at night,
As bad as a beelzebug's bite.
Your teeming head churns,
And restful sleep spurns,
There's trouble in getting it right.

(idea or tune that keeps you awake at night)
--- Chris Papa

Sweet George had a flaw in LYMPH flow,
So some of his dates didn't know,
Whatever he'd wish,
Or when he would swish,
Away, with his high heels in tow.

(Lymph - to walk with a lisp)
--- Arline Zatz

Etymology has much to teach
About words we may whisper or screech.
At times it's quite clear
Where some come from each year,
But the baddest stem from ghetto speech.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0203

It was an enormous event,
When Lucy, in mode NEGLIGENT,
Surpised the young priest,
Who fought with the beast,
And, instead of coming, he went.

(Negligent - to forgetfully answer the door in a nightie)
--- Arline Zatz

We keep things and say that we've "kept 'em,"
We leap things and say that we've "leapt 'em;"
Then it just makes sense,
When boffing, past tense,
Our sheep, we should say that we've "shept 'em!"
--- Anon

An aerologist: Has he the task
Of studying air, you might ask.
Where the atmosphere's sparest,
He finds his work fairest;
To get there he must wear a mask.
--- Sheila B

AGROSTOLOGY? Could there be
A reason one might want to see
All kinds of grass?
I think that I'll pass;
'Tis a bit too boring for me.
--- Maggie

Places in U.S. that we know,
Where life's pace is pleasingly slow,
Since the local fools
Spend their time in watching grass grow.
--- Chris Papa

Studying grass, AGROSTOLOGY,
Like that tree class called dendrology,
Is great for cheap date;
That's where I found mate;
Spooning with lass, no apology.
--- Daniel Ford

My spelling is good, as you see.
The words come quite easily to me.
If my eyesight is bleary,
And my eyes are all teary,
It's clear I have "analogy."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

AREOLOGISTS scan Martian seas,
But some guys I know, if you please,
Areolas pursue
With under-bra view,
Of ladies engaged in strip-tease.
--- Chris Papa

Some day we will all emigrate
To Mars, then our fifty-first state.
It's all ice. It would pay
To start now, to learn how to skate.
--- Elois

Studies of Mars, AREOLOGY,
Perhaps like kinesiology, (study of movement)
Proveide and excuse
For urges obtuse,
And ground for venereology. (study of veneral diseases)
--- Daniel Ford

AREOLOGY just had a big boom,
With all lenses set to full zoom.
The planet called "Red",
Like a virgin in bed,
Brought cries of "Va-va-va-voom!"
--- Norm Brust

I often indulge in ARISTOLOGY,
For which I will make no apology.
For fat does not stay
On my hips, Hip-hooray!
'Tis a gift from my great geneaology.
--- Sue Johnson

BALNEOLOGY, old shaman's tune,
"Just soak, and you'll be better soon."
But I guarantee
The result will be
You'll look like a well-wrinkled prune.
--- Chris Papa

The soul of wit is brevity;
Each word to be filled with gravity.
Is "Less is more,"
Oft at the price of clarity.
--- Kim

A gent who BRACHYLOGY used
In speech, left his listeners confused,
With nouns but a fraction
And no verbs for action;
Short sentences seemed very bruised.
--- Chris Papa

Collect postcards, DELTIOLOGY,
Has interesting etiology:
Little tablet writing
Could be check kiting,
Thus reduced kinesiology.
--- Daniel Ford

DELTIOLOGY means, my dear friends,
Remnants of where traveler wends
And has nothing to do
About swamps, quite a few,
Which grow where a long river ends.
--- Chris Papa

Nor does it yet even espouse
A letter found on a frat house,
Or a muscle found
On strong shoulder bound,
That bulges 'neath a strong man's blouse.
--- Chris Papa

When cut, I have no rings to see,
While okay for pine,
Can't date life like mine;
Try my joints which pain endlessly.
--- Chris Papa

"Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree."
And with inspiration divine
And "intelligent design"
--- Norm Brust

Rings of growth, DENDROCHRONOLOGY,
Provide patterns of apology
For a deity's
Without comment on ontology.
--- Daniel Ford

ENTYMOLOGY, the study of words;
The rabble thinks just for the birds.
But right at the start,
I'd rather be smart,
And lump myself with the nerds.
--- Eric I Seaberg

As word is to ETYMOLOGY,
So bug is to entomology;
Likewise hysteric
Is gut enteric
To discipline enterology
--- Daniel Ford

While non-intellectuals shrug,
The extant smart logophiles hug
Distinctions quite fine,
Versus ENTOMOLOGY'S bug.
--- Chris Papa

This is file kul

GARBOLOGY does study our wastes
To determine our cultural tastes,
But some will have said
Long after we're dead,
They might as well have studied our waists.
--- Daniel Ford

This weird word is beyond my reach.
It's all about what trash can teach.
To my brain it seems
With indistinct patterns of speech.
--- Chris Papa

I think that it's not a far reach,
No matter what lexicons teach.
Though it water muddies,
Whatever our sleazy pols preach.
--- Chris Papa

It seems that poking through someone's shit
Is taught like comparative lit.
You got to go to college
To get this knowledge?
GARBOLOGY is a bottomless pit!
--- Norm Brust

In though than your average bekeper?
If so, do they know
Where those letters did go?
Perhaps they should ask a bokeper.
--- Gary Hallock

Very long words, can't abide them,
Tongue-tripping sounds there, inside them.
Of, makes them quite short,
Or at very least will elide them.
--- Chris Papa

Word contraction or HAPOLOGY,
From linguistic archeology,
Shows apostrophe
Getting lost as we
Accept condensing tautology. (meaningless redunancy)
--- Daniel Ford

Applying the rules of HAPOLOGY,
The tongue-tied need no apology.
For makeing a new word,
That sounds less absurd,
And interests those in philology.
--- Daniel Ford

Speak up, I say, don't mutter!
Sound sharp in whatever you utter!
HAPOLOGY is neat,
'Cause when you skip a beat,
It gets rid of what sounds like a stutter.
--- Norm Brust

ICHNOLOGY, of fossil footprints,
Discovered amid the granite and flints,
Call to mind Mother
Yelling at Brother,
"What idiot got mud on my chintz?"
--- Daniel Ford

ICHNOLOGY will oft explore
Those old muddy tracks on the floor,
Where trilobytes skittered
And dinosaurs littered,
While bold pterodactyls did soar.
--- Chris Papa

Your verse is at once perfect foil,
For Dems who would let Willy soil,
The office he sits.
Analogy fits,
Let's lance the painful rectal boil.
--- Chris Papa

When LOGOLOGY a new reader sees,
He thinks of its meaning, a breeze.
It's a study, all right
That somebody might
Relate to the falling of trees.
--- Chris Papa

I'm a big fan of LOGOLOGY
And also of etymology and philology.
Some call me "word nut".
To them I say, "But
That doesn't add up to pathology.
--- Norm Brust

MENOLOGY, the workers friend,
Because all those holidays tend
On Mondays to fall.
A rare treat for all;
The lazy extended week end.
--- Chris Papa

Oh dear, it's another "ology"
To incorporate into my biology!
Here's what I think:
I'm on the brink
Of making my own menology!
--- Barb A1

NOSOLOGY studied by docs,
To help when there's health on the rocks,
And try to find out
What it's all about,
When mad Mother Nature, Man mocks.
--- Chris Papa

Classifying diseases, NOSOLOGY,
(Confuse not with scientology)
Or with studied nose)
Is a tool for those
Who'd reach bottom of proctology.
--- Daniel Ford

The use of PALILOGY clever,
Is a nice poetic endeavor.
Though it seem absurd,
To repeat a word,
Forever and ever and ever.
--- Chris Papa

Philologists, languages love,
And often, when push comes to shove,
Can dissect a word,
That you've often heard,
And leave it like a six-fingered glove.
--- Chris Papa

From the stem word, I can see why
POLEMOLOGY is a war's cry.
Though at a first glance,
It could mean by chance,
The study of a stud bull's peni.
--- Chris Papa

I think POLEMOLOGOUS folks are all known
To have good senses which have flown!
No matter their plight,
They'd much rather fight
Than reason with peace seeds they've sewn!
--- Barb

Study of war, POLEMOLOGY,
Enjoys wider terminology
That earlier thought,
Once battle's been fought
Grave fields present new gnomology. (study of maxims, etc)
--- Daniel Ford

POLEMOLOGIST may study war,
But what word with "pole"' at the core,
Suggests other games
That men have with dames,
Which leaves them both sated and sore.
--- Chris Papa

Old POLEMOLOGISTS in the corps,
Having studied all wars in the store,
Do often conclude
Without a prelude,
"I ain't gonna study war no more!"
--- Daniel Ford

PSEPHOLOGY guys, quite a spate,
One finds, aver voters close gate
On a pol favorite.
A win, to savor it.
While loss brings'em knowledge too late.
--- Chris Papa

They analyze the voter roles
And often tweak the exit polls.
They call it PSEPHOLOGY.
But it's more like pathology,
Raking through the now-cold coals.
--- Norm Brust

THANATOLOGY's quite apt for our Dave,
The lonely young man in his cave.
His girl may be cold,
But he is quite bold,
And every night he has a rave.
--- Barrie Eksteen

THANATOLOGY, it must be confessed,
Should not be dwelt on; at best
On nerves it can grate.
Perhaps better wait;
Such science can be put to the test.
--- Chris Papa

I've no use for THANATOLOGY
And that thing that's called cryotology.
Here is one geezer
They'll not put in the freezer.
My text is classic biology.
--- Norm Brust

But in hall with each U.S. state flag,
Some were liked vastly,
But others were ghastly.
Designer had his head in a bag.
--- Elois

VEXILLOLOGIST often bragging,
Braggadocia never sagging,
Consults Betsy Ross
Whenever she's cross,
Or finds enthusiasm flagging.
--- Daniel Ford

From the Lone Star rag of old Tex,
To the snake and the bird of old Mex,
Whose subject insists
On flags, and nothing of "vex".
--- Chris Papa