Of course it's "Sweet Home, Alabammer,"
Where all redneck whores fight and clammer
For my 'Hard of Dixie',
And each perky pixie,
Competes for a night with my rammer.
--- Anon

A randy ol' coot down in 'Bammer
Lived in and out of the slammer;
He'd think with his dick
Whenever a chick,
Bent over; it drove him to cram her!
--- Anon

There once was an intern from Vermouth,
Who was fired when she broke a tooth.
Dictating a Bill
On Capitol Hill,
She could not pronounce Arkansooth.
--- Limerick Lover

I traveled today through the State
Which spawned Clinton and her mate.
Was this grisley suggestion
What caused indigestion,
Or the Arkansas food that I ate?
--- John Miller 0158

Down South, when the hens start a cluckin',
And corn's gathered ripe for a shuckin',
And gentlemen court
Young fillies for sport;
It's time for some pickup truck fuckin'!
--- Travis Brasell

We 'cowboy up' with the wild stock
And 'plowboy down' with the tame flock;
Be wild or be tame,
All poontang's the same
And built for our cocks, hard as rock.
--- Travis Brasell

All us good ol' boys dig barnyard love,
And a lamb snatch that fits like a glove.
And a hogs bristly pussy
(Though death to a wussy)
Hot Damn! That what we're dreaming of!
--- Allen Wolverton

You forget about chickens and goats
And Guernseys with velvetine throats.
That all being said,
This beastial thread
Makes my beef shrivel up for a stoat.
--- RanDog

In barnyard animals I do care;
Sheep and goats, the old grey mare.
The farmer's daughter
Was led to the slaughter,
When from the woods, escaped a bear.
--- Christopher Kraft

There's a village called Bee, W.V.
It's so small, it's hard to see,
Two stores, a bar,
And a rusty old car.
The population's a mere forty three.
--- Thomas A Ratliff P0308

In the quiet southern town of Bug Tussle,
No one ever must hustle.
And when I've been there,
In the hot summer air,
I missed the big city bustle.
--- Tom Patton P0303

There's a town in Virginia called Cuckoo.
Though it's not as big as Saint Loo,
The people there sing
Like birds on the wing;
They have nothing better to do.
--- William K Alsop Jr

Ahhhh! My Dixie boyhood...amazing!
Our 'wimmin' folk were for the grazing;
But culture brought change,
So now on the range,
A great herd of llamas I'm raising!
--- Anon

There's a town in the South, Chattahoochee,
Where they still do the old hootchie-kootchie,
With a great deal of pride
(Rather unjustified,
In the view of this hardened debauchee).
--- Keith MacMillan A034A

If your looking for somewhere to romp
Without all the touristry pomp,
And you don't mind moskeeters,
Then you'll drag your peters
On down to good old hellhole swamp.
--- Anon

Now Peachland is famous for peaches,
For mountains, marinas and beaches.
A Peachland girl marries
A boy who picks cherries,
And my! What a lesson that teaches.
--- John E Mayhood P0010

Down in Louisiana I was gwine,
When I chanced with this girl to entwine
Being a real Cajun,
Her hormones were ragin',
And she gave me a real spicy time.
--- Anon

On the Gulf, there's a town called Biloxi,
And all of the girls there are foxy.
In's uncanny, unheard,
But don't take my word.
Inspect them all, starting with Roxie.
--- TuttaGioia

I started inspecting with Roxie,
A used-up old hag of a doxy.
You gave me her name!
Is this a con game?
Her pussy's attached with epoxy.
--- TuttaGioia

The view of beholder, I guess,
Will determine the place to call mess.
Here, far across the sea,
Biloxi will be
The cloaca of all the U.S.
--- Chris Papa

Mississippians still are besotten
By olden times, best left forgotten.
While the old flag still waves,
They will remain enslaved
To the views holding them at the bottom.
--- Dr Limerick

From Georgia there is no contest.
Us southerners living more west,
Have looks and the smarts,
With morals of tarts.
Mississippian women are best.
--- Anon

New Orleans with its famed MARDI GRAS,
In summer, more sauna than spa.
Known for Creole-French,
Where one can find wench
On Bourbon Street, for "ooh-la-la!"
--- Chris Papa

When New Orleans has Mardi Gras,
No more is it New Orleans, LA.
In Quartre French
You grab a wench
And shout, "New Orleans, oolaLA"
--- Irving Superior P8801

Today I hope everyone reads
The Journal on Mardi Gras beads. (Wall Street Journal)
For in the Big Easy
These (mostly Chinesey)
Are thrown to encourage misdeeds.
--- Nick

"New Orleans sure has a bad stench,"
Said Dubya, "And I'm in a pinch.
There's just one solution
for all this pollution...
I'll give it all back to the French!"
--- Observer

MARDI GRAS which translates Fat Tuesday,
Is New Orleans' hot jazz and booze day.
So tiring the fun
That when it is done,
Ash Wednesday feels like a good news day.
--- Norm Brust

New Orleans' summers are hot.
Your nether parts get Jungle Rot.
But from fall right through Spring,
It makes your heart sing
With Mardi Gras, Jazz, and the lot.
--- Theo Heller P9206

South Carolina has a village, Due West;
On the map it's not the farthest.
But it's not in the east,
You can say that at least.
I'd say "westerly", if I were pressed.
--- William K Alsop Jr

There's a Virginia town called Bumpass.
Do the folks there bump as they pass?
If the girls bump the boys,
Do they make any noise?
Is there a sounding of brass?
--- William K Alsop Jr

A man cruising down Mississippi
Had prayed he could soon please his dippie;
Imagine his fury
When, chasing Miss Houri,
He was stuck with a dry Mrs. Hippie.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9008

I once had a doll I called Trixie,
As cute and petite as a pixie.
A press on her tummy
Did not bring forth "Mummy!";
She'd strut around whistling dixie!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Boston's a Lincolnshire town,
Where most of the girls will go down...
I guess though the ass
Speaks of Boston in Mass,
Where tea-bags they did use to drown.
--- Tiddy Ogg

This is file ksm

The Lincolnshire Boston's near fens,
Where farmers meet weekly in dens
For countryside sports;
The traditional sorts
Such as hunting and punting old hens.
--- Peter Wilkins

A big-breasted beauty from Boston
Lay down on the floor to get tossed on;
She said, "I love fountains
Of jizz on my mountains;
They look more attractive with frost on."
--- Peter Wilkins

In Boston, whenever it's hailing,
The fishermen often go sailing;
They take with them Brenda,
In water upend her,
And practice harpooning and whaling.
--- Peter Wilkins

Old Adam of Boston believes
He's found the original leaves.
They're fig-shaped and whiff,
When he gives them a sniff,
Of the damp he remembers as Eve's.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Boston is famous for beans,
And girls who wear skimpy tight jeans,
And skimpier tops;
But old Boston Pops
Have ravished them while in their teens.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A maiden who lived on Cape Cod
And was blest with a beautiful bod,
Met an old master baiter,
Who, wishing to mate her,
Fucked her hook, line, and sinker and rod.
--- Cunning Linguist

The Greenleaf of Chester, Vermont,
Is surely our favorite haunt;
And word does go out
That we are about,
Whenever to Chester we jaunt.
--- Bruce Burched

"These people," they say with a frown,
"Of Robin and Jerry's in town!"
And in poor little Chester,
There's seldom a rester,
When it's known that we've come aroun'.
--- Bruce Burched

Each shop owner and restauranteur
And dealer in Junque du Jour,
Keeps open an eye
As we wander by,
For they know that we're sanity poor!
--- Bruce Burched

And from breakfast with Robin and Jerry,
Through dinner, to wherever we ferry,
There's an excess of mirth,
And an increase in girth,
As we eat and we drink and be merry.
--- Bruce Burched

A man came from Portland in Maine
Just trying to run from the rain.
He got to Nantucket,
Then pissed in their bucket,
Which proved to the judge he's insane!

A nymphet in the woods tried to forge
A new bond with a Mainer named George.
Though he'd caught her eye
He was not very spry,
And rolled right over into a gorge.
--- Dick Hull

I now will be gone for a while,
To Cape Cod (I vacation in style).
I'll be with those crude shits,
In old Mass-of-chewed-shits.
Oh, come on you Kennedys -- smile!
--- Writerman

There once was a clever young lass,
Who lived in that great bay state, Mass.
She waded one day
Out into the bay,
And the water came up to her ass.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Massachusetts! Let's all give a cheer!
A great place to be if you're queer!
And please let me say
If you're liberal or gay,
I'd rather you lived there than here!
--- John Miller

Of Nantucket's men, dogs and girls,
We've heard far too much, so we churls
Say no! We are sated
With regurgitated
Pig shit from the swine... give us pearls.
--- Anon

Two barristers, Dork and Kantshucket,
Were hired by the town of Nantucket
To sue every Merkin
And Brit who's been workin'
At hiding their famous old bucket.
--- Anon

In my mind I can still see his face;
On the mountain, remains not a trace;
By nature designed,
Heart's embrace still enshrined;
Granite features that time can't erase.
--- Joel D Ash P0309

The old man, he was born long ago;
How and why only Indians know;
Many years weather worn,
Craggy chin we now mourn,
Rock adorn only God can bestow.
--- Joel D Ash P0309

There were hints of demise, shifting stone;
Sudden cracks that were spotted and known;
Prone to slippage and slides,
That the maker decides;
Disappearance one night with a groan.
--- Joel D Ash P0309

State symbol revered far and wide,
New Hampshire embodied with pride;
Independent and free,
Profile I still see;
Strong love that will never subside.
--- Joel D Ash P0309

In New Hampshire the sun never sets,
Constant shine that true freedom begets;
Yes, the weather grows cold,
And traditions are old,
But the life is as good as it gets.
--- Joel D Ash

Here mountains of beauty are found,
And landscapes of nature abound;
The sun shimmer gleams,
Upon lakes, upon streams,
Day and night scenic vistas surround.
--- Joel D Ash

Even better the folks that abide,
Fully blessed with the right kind of pride;
Self reliant and strong,
Knowing right, knowing wrong,
In this place heart and virtue reside.
--- Joel D Ash

In New Hampshire the sun ever shines,
Warm neighbors midst snow covered pines;
An endowed granite shrine,
Gloried northland divine,
State of grace that this place well defines.
--- Joel D Ash

To Newport I went for a bit
To make my insanity quit.
A few days away
From the same day to day,
Blows the cobswebs and keeps my mind fit.
--- Gearhart

And while on this short fun excursion,
I needed to find a diversion,
To keep my mind active.
A blond, quite attractive,
Named Carol joined me for perversion.
--- Gearhart

We went out to paint the town red,
In search of libations and led
A congo line through
All the bars and streets, too.
Seems clear everyone needs a blown head.
--- Gearhart

And when the bars closed for the night,
To the hotel we went in fast flight.
The bed and wall shook
As sweet Carol I took
All night 'til the dawn's early light.
--- Gearhart

The next stop on our little treks
Was Nantucket, the island of sex.
We found a hotel
That was much less that swell,
But their rates by the hour won't vex.
--- Gearhart

There was this nymphette in Nantucket
Whose cunt was as big as a bucket.
'Twas so deep and so wide,
It took twelve dicks side-to-side,
And twelve top to bottom to fuck it.
--- Gearhart

There weren't enough bars in Nantucket,
So back to Newport we did truck it.
We went out of an Inn
And then back in again,
And bought pitchers of beer for to suck it.
--- Gearhart

Between all the parties and booze,
We managed to really cut loose.
I'd say, all in all,
We both had a ball,
(And the ball banged on Carol's caboose.)
--- Gearhart