"Princess," said the Frog, "do not wince.
I'll convince you that I am a Prince!"
So he changed -- into tights
And demanded his rights,
And nobody's heard of him since.
--- Gina Berkeley

Maybe there is a reason he's pissed;
There is quite a lot he has missed.
Guess that's why he's fond
Of his place in the pond,
Awaiting his turn to be kissed.
--- Jean Fox

One morning, a handsome young frog,
Was singing with joy in the bog,
When his song short was cut
By a randy young slut,
Who carried him home at a jog.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And now, her own doubts to convince,
She did something she's never done since.
That frog she now kissed;
With a flash and a mist,
In the loo stood an ugly old prince.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And now she has washday-red hands;
She's scrubbing those pots and those pans.
She's sweeping the foor,
And acts like a whore,
As the slave of that evil old man.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now she knows that she's been a fool;
Should have left the frog in his pool.
As she washes the dishes,
She fervently wishes
To be a fairy astride a toads tool.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was an old bullfrog from Prague
Who sat by the road on a log.
"Come and kiss me," he cried
To a princess he spied;
So she did and turned into a frog.
--- Raymond Driver P9705a

Young Natalie went for a jog,
While dawn mists swirled up from the bog,
And spied on the road
A fat warty toad,
And picked up and kissed that damn frog.
--- Tiddy Ogg

'Twas sunup and still fairly dark,
With no-one to see, in the park
The happening strange...
The amphibian's change
To a hairy two headed aardvark.
--- Tiddy Ogg

She dropped the beast, wholly dejected;
The ant-bear it's savior inspected:
"Oh well, honey since
You wanted a prince,
I'd better be as you expected."
--- Tiddy Ogg

A flash, and to no-one's surprise,
A prince stands in front of her eyes.
But happy e'er after?
Oh no, things get dafter:
He's still a half-frog, eating flies.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So though our Nat's filled with alarm,
And fears that she'll come to great harm,
Because he's so callous,
She lives in his palace,
The site of a huge maggot farm.
--- Tiddy Ogg

They live as a couple, adult;
He shows that he's sure worth his salt,
When he hops in to bed,
And before long, 'tis said,
A huge tadpole swarm's the result.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now if the above tale you should vex,
With describing such cross-species sex,
Relax folks, for I'm
Assured froggie slime
Has hallucinogenic effects.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So Nat has bred no tadpole litter,
And when she came round, with taste bitter,
She'd learned, shut your gob,
And don't ever slob-
Ber over no pond-dwelling critter.
--- Tiddy Ogg

That gal bore a pup, full of hairs.
They're gone, not forgotten, and there's
A plot in the wood,
Where the cottage once stood,
Marked Goldilocks and her forebears.
--- Anon

Said Mama Bear, "Hold on, now, boys;
It's okay to play with your toys.
But you must be quelling
Her groaning and yelling,
'Fore hunters are drawn by the noise."
--- Anon

Said Baby Bear, "Don't spoil the fun!
I'll want her when Papa is done.
When Papa is through
He'll take care of you,
While I finish what he has begun."
--- Anon

As Goldilocks hid 'neath the stair,
Mother Bear shouted out, "I declare!
Father Bear, please explain
This irregular stain,
And these fair pubic hairs on your chair."
--- Peter Wilkins

"Ah, Goldilocks," said Father Bear,
"I've been looking for you everywhere.
I want ten pence, my pet,
For the porridge you ate,
And I've got a small bill for a chair..."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

I asked Goldilocks about bears:
Did she like them alone or in pairs?
She said, "When I'm hooking
And nobody's looking,
I offer menage cut-rate fares."
--- Norm Storer P9605

I asked Goldilocks about bears:
Did she like them alone or in pairs?
She said, "When I forage
For beds and/or porridge,
I'd rather find none in their lairs."
--- Norm Storer P9605

Goldilocks has lots of guys.
Pinnochio's one, I'm advised.
She sits on the puppet,
And stick his nose up it,
And makes the poor fellow tell lies!
--- Ogden Nield

Growled Pa Bear, "Someone's been in my bed!"
"And mine," Ma said, "Look at that spread!"
Baby bear, most polite,
Gently put out the light.
"Nighty night, folks," was all that he said.
--- John Miller 0110 a

Goldilocks was prowling at night,
When three bears came into her sight.
Father Bear's was too small;
While Mom had none at all.
But the 'Little' Bear, his was just right.
--- Phil T

Said Baby Bear, "Sister's too tight,
And Mama Bear gives me a fright,
But I found a new game
When Goldilocks came.
She's a keeper and does it just right!"
--- John Miller

Said Goldilocks, "I have a hunch,
Though I satisfy most of this bunch,
If I can't figure how
To turn on this sow,
I'm afraid that she'll have me for lunch."
--- John Miller

In his gruff voice, Great Papa Bear said:
"Just what have you got in your bed?
If you can't make her squirm
With your undersized worm,
How 'bout I just eat her, instead?"
--- John Miller

I'm Hickory Dickory Doc;
Well I was, but I'm not under lock
And key, for malpractice,
But why? Well the fact is
I poked all the girls with my cock.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Dyke;
Though female, it's girlies I like.
With them, I'm fulfilled-o,
With help from a dildo,
So fellow, please all take a hike.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Dick;
The gals like the size of my prick.
Until we try screwing,
At which time they're ruing,
They can't get it in; it's too thick.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Duck;
And when I am down on my luck,
And can't find a drake,
Well then, I will make
It with roosters who're good for a fuck.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Deke;
I stopped in the woods for a leak.
And while thus engaged,
An eagle, enraged,
Swooped and took off my dick with his beak.
--- Cyber Wizard

This is file kmm

I'm Hickory Dickory Duke;
That I have lots of sex is no fluke.
The girls that I ate
Just simply can't wait,
And submit with no sign of rebuke.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Doke,
And it's virgins that I like to poke.
But I've stopped in the main,
Because of the pain;
The last time my pecker got broke.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Dack,
And I like them both yellow and black,
And all shades of tan,
And get all I can,
Through seduction or frontal attack.
--- Cyber Wizard

I'm Hickory Dickory Deck,
This may be the last one, by heck.
'Cause this load of manure
Has lost its allure,
And I'm tired of writing such dreck.
--- Cyber Wizard

I think John is courting the stork!
Seem all the gals he want to pork.
Sex is his claim to fame,
Or else my own name
Isn't Hickory Dickory Dork.
--- Cyber Wizard

Hey, Hickory Dickory Dude!
You're wonderfully lusty and lewd.
Please do it once more;
Do it more 'til you're sore
From being remarkably crude!
--- Marlene Lewis

I'm Hickory Dickory Doo
And I am one hundred and two.
Just 'cause I'm an old 'un
Don't mean what I'm holdin'
Can't still be erected anew.
--- Anon

I'm Hickory Dickory Ducket;
I married a gal from Nantucket.
I killed her and gave her
To old Dave the raver;
He took her corpse home for to fuck it.
--- Anon z

Enough of this Grandfather clockery!
No Hickory-Dickery-Dockery!
You games-playing mice
Had better think twice
Or prepare for some dodging of crockery!
--- John Mayhood P0211

Grandfather, you claim to be sick
Of our clock-running hickory shtick.
It is quite the reverse --
You should order your hearse,
If you do not stop mocking our trick!
--- John Mayhood P0211

Then Grandpa starts flicking his Bic
And waving his hickory stick.
"I'm much stronger than you!
I could tear you in two!"
The wee mouse said, "Aw, I been sick!"
--- John Mayhood P0211

She's Hickory Dickory Does;
On first dates she flashes her fuzz.
But it's loose and green,
Say guys who have seen,
"It looked not much like what it was."
--- Anon

Like hickory dickory dock,
Her fingers had run up my cock,
But on stroke number one
I fired off my gun,
And never got into her frock.
--- Anon

Hickory Dickery Dock
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And down he run,
Dragging sore balls and cock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Hickory Dickery Dock,
A mouse ran away with a clock.
But his dong was a gong
Nearly twelve inches long;
When he used it, she went into shock!
--- John Miller 0048

Sing hickory, dickory, deg,
The mouse clawed its way up his leg;
The mystery's solved,
No clock was involved --
It nibbled the end of his peg.
--- Armand E Singer P0102

Well, hickory, dickory, dock,
It seems I've a hole in my sock.
But in my own defense,
If it makes any sense,
I will not be touching your cock.
--- Anon

Hickory, dickory, dock;
The mouse ran up the clock.
She got knocked up
And then had a pup,
Without any help from a cock.
--- John Miller

I'm Hickory Dickory Dunt;
It's often been said I'm too blunt;
When shagging a lass
With a loose piece of ass,
I scream, "Room for six down in front!"
--- Anon

Hickory dickory dock;
So sounds the old town clock.
It peals on the hour
From its old limestone tower,
And it doesn't tick, nor does it tock.
--- William K Alsop Jr

Hickory, Dickory, Dock!
Here's the latest report on the clock,
Where those meddlesome mice
Made it tick, tick, tick, thrice
Every time when it needed to tock!
--- J Maynard Kaplan

I'm Hickory Dickory Daisy;
I drive all the teen-age boys crazy.
I often seduce 'em
So that I can use 'em,
To chew my pubes short 'cause I'm lazy.
--- Anon

Hickory, dickory, dock,
A mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck one
And down he run,
Hickory, dickory, dock.
--- Lims Unlimited

Hickory dickory dock;
A mouse fell into the wok.
The menu read,
"Stir-fried, grain-fed"
Hickory dickory dock.
--- Timothy Torkildson

Hickory Dickory Doc;
A bitch was sucking my cock.
The clock struck two;
I shot my goo,
And wiped my dick on her frock.
--- Anon

Humpty Dumpty, it's true, had a fall.
The crack, I am told, was quite small.
His dress was not fancy
Or extravagancy.
He was not baroque, not at all.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a fly on the wall
That brave Humpty Dumpty saw fall.
Down to save her, he leapt...
But that leap was inept,
Now he won't reassemble at all!
--- M Mestert

H. Dumpty, 'tis said, sat a wall,
Then Humpty, it's sad, had a fall.
Reassembly won't work,
So King's horses, men, clerk,
Had fried eggs in the morning for all.
--- Liam

An egg (Humpty) straddling a wall,
Deciding the right side to fall.
"It depends how I sit --
Turning round -- opposite --
Is there really a right side at all?"
--- Monique de Plume

A body there next to the wall
Lay broken, quite dead from the fall;
Inspector Astute
Cried out for pursuit,
"Each clue should be clear to us all."
--- Anon

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses
And all the King's men,
Used eggyolk for sexlube to bugger their friends.
--- Anon

The Captain said to his platoon,
"Humpty Dumpty will fall about noon.
So there's no need to sigh
That food prices are high,
For eggs will be coming down soon."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

On the ground poor old Humpty is slumped,
By Alice summarily dumped.
Since his fall from the wall,
He's missing one ball
And his woody's been drastically stumped.
--- Anon