Then doctor and patient insert
Their johnsons through lips, under skirt.
She's sandwiched between
A finger-cuff queen,
And a large liquid measure they'll squirt.
--- Anon

There once was a couple of Brits,
Who tried to learn French from Berlitz.
But their French lost its charm
When they stopped a gendarme
And asked him to show them his tits.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0305

The Frogs have been gettin a jolting;
If I was in France, I'd be bolting.
But they'll riot in vain,
And will always remain
Most arrogant, rude and revolting.
--- David Miller

In Paree, once, I caught a strong whiff,
Of a Froggie, who wanted to tiff;
His teeth he did clench;
Said, "Why can't you speak French?"
I said, "Here's why: I've never had 'syph'!"
--- Anon

If you send all the Frenchmen to Hell,
It will turn into something so swell,
That no one would wait
At the Pearly gate,
But all souls will ring old Satan's bell.
--- Woozel

You top-rate American scholars
Are highly deserving of dollars.
Yet is seems the word 'genre'
Aroused Yankee scorn
And gets you hot under the collars.

(I thought genre was a French toilet - McW
--- Anon

I knew a young lady from France,
Who sat on an anthill of ants;
I knew she was pretty,
And terribly witty,
But never how well she could dance.
--- George Stein P0001

And as for your electrical drill,
I bet that will not long stay still.
But Ken beware
And please take care
'Cause in France, the voltage can kill.
--- Anon

In the bar of the Hotel du Lac
Sits a girl in a dress, low-cut, black,
For 95 francs,
She'll give you some wancs,
In a small secret room out the back.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Down there in the port of Calais,
That cutie is busy all day,
With sailors and tourists,
She too soon has sore wrists,
So she'll do horizontal ballet...
--- Tiddy Ogg

But this costs a little bit more,
Three hundred francs, maybe four,
And her eyes seem to glow,
'Cause she sure loves it so...
"Ah oui, c'est les francs j'adore."
--- Tiddy Ogg

In New Brunswick, a cute little wench
Muttered, "Let us be glad for the French!
For none of us doubt
What the ball game's about,
While the English just sleep on the bench."
--- Hugh Oliver 31a

She went on vacation to France,
When there she did nothing but dance.
Her trip was successful,
Even if it was stressful;
She came home in an air ambulance!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Enravished, she'll soon swoon and die
A death of delight with a cry
Of "C'est Magnifique!"
When pierced by Claude's dique
And "la petite mort" creams her pie.
--- Randog

When Gwendoline went to Paree,
All she could say was, "Oui,oui."
She soon passed away
From exposure, they say,
Having laid the whole gendarmerie.
--- Michael Horgan

I once asked a young lady in France,
How she read the future at one glance.
She laughed as she replied,
"You have nothing to hide.
I see by the expression in your pants."
--- Tom Patton P0411

A Marseillian armpit's for me,
When embarked on a sensual Grand Prix.
Their furry embrace
Is much softer than lace,
Yielding gism instead of warm pee.
--- Randog

Misplacing the French girl Perec
(It seems she is now just a wreck)
Embarrasses us,
They will all harass us.
I think that she needs a big cheque.
--- Archie

On Wednesday the twins will be three;
I guess that their Mommy will be
Too busy again
To bother to feign
Affection. She'll be in Paree.
--- Anon

A horny young red-head from France,
Wore a black see-through nightie to dance.
"Votre dance sil vois plaise?"
She wanted to say,
But got lost in the foreign parlance.
--- Ailimo Kristin

A young Frenchman from La Gay Paree,
Was advised "Les Follies," he'd not see.
It's bien for Les Anglais,
Who are not there to stay,
But for Frenchmen, it's not "C'est la vie!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Those French are a weird lot I'd say,
And remain so even today.
They wage war unrelenting,
So thereby preventing
The consonant having its say.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0211

For weeks I had practised flirtation
In French for my annual vacation;
Such phrases as "Chere;
Shall we screw dans la mer?"
More success I'd have had with Croatian.
--- Anon

Ignored I was. "Qui est cet homme?"
They said laughingly, "Ou est vous from?"
I said, "Londres, mes cheres",
As I showed them my wares
With my usual style and aplomb.
--- Anon

"Haha! Vous etes old, monsieur Pete!"
They said, shrieking with glee at my meat
As it vanished from sight
For the rest of the night;
But 'twas their fault for missing a treat.
--- Anon

To Paris I'll soon be away
And already I'm starting to pray
That in boulevards leafy,
I'll bump into fifi
And bonk her in-seine-ly each day.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I met her; amazed by my power,
She rode me for hour after hour,
And finally sated,
She breathlessly stated,
"It's as big as the great Eiffel Tower."
--- Peter Wilkins

But an item that's "gran comme Tour d'Eiffel,
Is to Fifi aperitif trifle.
I am sure you would blench
At the depth of her trench;
He vagina sheaths cannon, not rifle.
--- Ward Hardman

Your great eagerness here does alarm me.
Youthful lust has made you simply barmy.
Every soldier of France
Has invaded her pants,
Followed close by the whole German Army.
--- Ward Hardman

I think I should warn you, dear Tiddy,
Beware of this flighty French biddy.
Fifi's genital groove
(It's as big as the Louvre!)
Can hold every man in the City.
--- Ward Hardman

Good Bess, she'll do well in paris,
Where the males are randy as can be.
There's just so much a bloke
In deep search of a poke,
Je t'aime oui, vous parle francaise.
--- Anon

Of all the nice Parisian fillies
I'd like to divest of their frillies,
Young Fifi's the best
With her eye-popping chest,
For she's hot as a truckload of chillies.
--- Peter Wilkins

That little French girl of Harry's
Told him, that as soon as she marries,
It's she who'll be boss.
And he was so cross,
That now she's in plaster of Paris.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

This is file kdm

Though it has a certain allure,
I don't speak no French, that's for sure.
To try lims in French,
I'd leave such a stench;
To me, it's just all poop-du-jour!
--- Observer

A Frenchman proposed to a femme
Two words, and she knew both of them;
Her answer was "Oui!"
And the Frenchman and she
Were thinking of choses, les memes. (things, the same ones)
--- Lims Unlimited

There once was a gal from Calais,
Who wandered a little astray.
Not by smoking or drinking,
And not what you're thinking --
She got lost on the Rue de la Paix.
--- Mary Rita Hurley

McDonalds owes much, we must own,
To the land of the Loire and the Rhone.
For burghers they say,
Got their start in Calais,
And the world's first French Fry was Saint Joan.
--- Graham Lester

Now listen, I've learned out at Arby's
That French fries have too many carbies,
And roasts too much fat,
But Saint Joan wasn't that;
She was slender, the first of the barbies.
--- Liam na Baeg

Now, I am quite sure you can toast
Better cullinary arts than you boast.
For there wasn't a pan
When Saint Joan hit the fan,
But a spit, and Saint Joan was the roast.
--- Graham Lester

I once took a steamship to France,
Where I screwed everythng wearing pants.
From old men to boys,
I jumped on their toys,
Including two dykes at a dance.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There once was a gymnast from France
Who gave men bulges in their pants,
With legs like no other.
(Hard to think she's a mother
And has a child she must finance.)
--- Anon

A Frenchman is usually a prick;
That crap that they cook makes me sick.
They're assholes replete
With grape stains on their feet,
But their women sure suck a mean dick.
--- MrMalo

Although I am French to my soul,
You haven't heard my story in whole.
My dad was from Warsaw,
Thus mom never foresaw
That I would be born a tad Pole.
--- Gary Hallock

How could my poor Mama have knowed
That when her "Lil Froggie" was growed,
I'd only flies eat,
And hop on webbed feet,
And everywhere have to be toad.
--- Gary Hallock

Is it true that in France women tan
In the sun, so at night they Can-can.
Showing lines that are white
To allure Mr. Right,
And then brag about catching a man?
--- Anon

In school I loved Madamoiselle;
If she liked me she never would tell.
Every day in her classes,
At her I'd make passes.
In my eyes she was "toujours tres belle!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy

The was a young fellow from Stoke,
Who told such a terrible joke,
It got people so bored,
He was posted abroad,
Where he relates it to French foreign folk.
--- Andrew George

A word of advice to you pal,
I see you're in France with your gal.
The problem of course is
In France they eat horses,
And Pet says you're hung comme cheval.
--- Anon

The horribly ugly French throng
Snatch onions from where they belong.
They think it cleveer
At English to sneer,
But their yard is three inches too long.
--- Anon

A pretty wife living in Tours,
Demanded her daily amour.
But the husband said, "No!
It's too much. Let it go!
My bollocks are dragging the floor."
--- L0110

The Les Guichet train trip to Chatelet
Takes me to nice places to stay.
Unbelievable view,
Especially if you
Find a nice window seat for the day.
--- Nawahl Razak

Senses soothed by the train's muffled sound;
Passing houses with playparks on the ground.
Though it goes without saying,
It's too cold for playing
On rotating wheels spinning 'round.
--- Nawahl Razak

Clippity Cloppity got the nuts
As the train moves gently on the ruts.
But just as you doze,
It is time you arose,
As the train nicely into Chatelet struts.
--- Nawahl Razak

In my first Versailles spoke in Anglais,
But now, I Cannes parle in Francais.
If zee Poissy is Toulouse,
It will Rouen zee screws
And make for a very Bordelais.
--- Dan Ford

An amorous maid from Provence
Had seventeen uncles and aunts;
They chaperoned her
From the Seine to the Ruhr.
Quel dommage! C'est la guerre! Vive La France!
--- Lims Unlimited

Said the buxom young German fraulein
As she fucked on the bridge on the Rhine,
"If I fall in the drink,
I never will sink
'Cause my tits, as floats, work real fine."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0306

So you're on your way to Bavaria?
Not much I consider more scaria!
Oktoberfest beer
Makes you sing songs dear,
But I don't like that kind of aria.
--- Anon

I once took a trip down the Rhine
To partake of the fruits of the vine;
Drank too many of these
But the taste was exceeding divine.
--- Peter Wilkins

Just as Lorelei's rock was rounded,
The ship as expected got grounded.
But to me she showed mercy
And played with my percy;
On the top I had pleasures unbounded.
--- Anon

According to german folklore, O

Unashamed and in public,
Displaying hairs pubic,
Read on if you'd like knowing more.
--- Anon

The ladies from Deutschland are best;
Be it north or south, east or else west.
They can be quite obscene
If you know what I mean,
And their loving skills stand every test.
--- Anon

Gerda, a nun and devout,
When raped, raised a helluva shout.
"Because," she'd avow,
"He didn't know how!"
That's what I'd expect from a Kraut!
--- John Miller

Said sensual confessant Alice,
As a penance, I'll drink from that chalice
Where he'd shot his wad in.
Then she wiped off her chin
And whined, "Vater ist das denn alles?"
--- Dirruk

Now the Germans, they are a case;
By nature a dominant race.
But truth will ring true,
"Remember The Jew"
Will haunt them all over the place.
--- Anon

In Germany, Essen (so neat)
Is even more weird, indeed.
'Cause it's a word which
In their own laguage,
Means something as odd as to 'to eat'!
--- Anon

In Germany, as light grew dimmer,
It's check-in time: need a zimmer;
The hotel's frau-line,
Said, come taste my Rheine;
I cried: "Ich bin ein Ber-limmer."
--- Anon

Let them sing their sorry refrain,
Even though it can be quite a pain.
And try not to scoff
'Cause if you piss them off,
They might invade Poland again.
--- MrMalo