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I think I am not going to pass; Is it true that a chap named Descartes Indeed it is all as you find: Dr Johnson, when sober or pissed, One day, a man of good cheer, There was a great thinker, Decartes To a girl that he liked a whole lot, Descartes sat down for a beer, When Descartes said, "Je pense, donc je suis." About that strange death of Rene A student, a quarrelsome sot, Descartes was consuming roast yam Descartes sits down for some beers, "I doubt and therefore I might be," Descartes woke one night and said, "Damn! A philosopher from France named Descartes One night, when out for a beer, One fine day a man of good cheer, One night, when out on the beer, Said Rene Descartes, "As I feared, Descartes, he did not give a damn A tyro philosopher named Quist (he thinks not I think - McW)
When I think about what Descartes said, 'Twas said, "I think, therefore I am," Renee had a sickly old Mum, When Descartes was around, you could see Descartes was born in Touraine; Descartes to a tavern was drawn; The philosopher moped about, glum, There was an old man called Dupree, (if I think, ????)
A philosopher once, named Descartes, Irish philosopher Dustcarts A French soldier known as Decartes A sweet 'tater said, "Oh, yes ma'am. A parched Descartes went for beering; A student who lived in Montmarte Every day, hermits Larry and Linc Nothing's happy (in Nietzsche it's read) From a monk to the merest mu-meson, Thus respecting the truth as our norm, In Fact, whether thoughts step on deck Hence even the Schopenhauerians While it's rare that such truths are avowed, Thus all willing, despite variations, But while power's what all our drives seek, Yet others (And all their deeds show it!) Still it's only by means of such passion From our cradles, still whining and puling, But destruction's not all that we need We'll see Superman given a boost While the fictional hero's escapist, While he may not have typical graces, Of course, don't be fooled, it's not a breeze And the weak ones all feel trepidations If the power in question's through voting, With the aid of the Word of Our Lord, All the same let us hope, if not pray, That sad fellow, Friedrich Nietzche, "If you're aristocratic", said Nietzsche, That miserable bloke Friedrich Nietzche "Gott ist tot!" Nietzsche once said. My ergo sum prefix, "Cogito," A toper who spies in the distance, But if he's a student of Berkeley. That skillful lens grinder Baruch The philosopher Berkeley once said,
So I'm not, that's the crux of this class.
The proof that Descartes
Was just an old fart --
Though I knew this, I still failed, alas.
--- Jon Gearhart
Saw a new metaphysical start,
Or could it just be
That you, he and me
Are your dream, you deluded old fart!
--- Peter Wilkins
Only down in the murk of my mind,
Do we three exist?
And because I am pissed,
We talk rot, as I'm sure you've opined.
--- Peter Wilkins
Could be frequently heard to insist,
Letting out a great fart:
"Yes, I follow Decartes,
I stink, therefore I exist!"
--- A Cinna
Asked Descartes if he wanted a beer.
What the man got
Was "I think not",
While he watched Descartes disappear!
--- Bob Davies
Who was severely plagued by his farts.
When he had to lecture,
His ass would conjecture,
But boy! That fellow had smarts.
--- Mr Blister
Descartes gave the gist of his plot:
"I think, so I am,"
To which this dear ma'am
Said, "Hell No! I fucking think not!"
--- MrMalo
And a lady gave him a slight leer.
She grabbed for his dink,
And he said, "I don't think..."
And promptly Descartes disappeared!
--- Bluestreak
What he meant was, (I think you'll agree)
"My body's designed
To signal my mind;
I think that I have to go pee."
--- Bluebird P9812
Who, sans thinking, one day passed away:
Askd, "Want a cocotte?"
He replied, "I think NOT!"
And then, POOF, disappeared! So they say.
--- Stu Lucas P9703
Said, "Decartes' not as great as we're taught.
He just thought that he was,.
And thought that way because,
He thought that he was 'cause he thought."
--- Graham Lester
But pronounced that he'd rather have lamb.
When he tried spinach drink,
Ren ventured, "I think
That I am what I am what I am."
--- David Morin
Between two chaps who are queers.
As one grabs his dink,
He declares "I don't think..."
And promptly Rene disappears!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Is more modern, you have to agree...
In an age existential,
Misgiving's essential,
But bewildered us both, you and me.
--- Tutta Gioia
Sometimes I suspect I'm a sham.
For if I only think
That I think, there's a kink,
For it means I just think that I am.
--- A N Wilkins P9412
Scaled the heights of pure math and fine art.
In the fullness of time
His thoughts turned sublime,
Like, "I think so I am!" for a start.
--- Mike O'Conner
Descartes was asked by a queer:
"Wanna bit on the side?"
Young Rene replied:
"I think not," and thus disappeared.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Asked Descartes if he'd like a beer.
What the man got
Was just "I think not";
And he watched Descartes disappear.
--- Anon
Descartes was asked by a queer:
"Wanna bit on the side?"
Young Rene replied:
"I think not," and thus disappeared.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This bawd doesn't like being reared."
When she offer her twat
He replied, "I think not."
At which point he just disappeared.
--- Martin Wellborn P8903
'Bout opinions not proved; they're a sham.
Rene was a poet,
And did readily show it,
When he said, "I do think, so iamb."
--- Ed Hexter
Was a Radical Idealist.
Imagine his terror
On finding the error
In assuming "Il pense, donc j'existe!"
--- Indiana Millwart
You exist where you are in your head --
It is perfectly clear,
That I'm not really here;
I am inside your panties instead!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
And that could get you in a jam.
If on the off chance
You are in my pants,
I'll give your round head a good slam
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who gave birth to a brother quite dumb,
The schools threw him out
For his great love of stout,
And "incognito
--- Anon
His opinions on life were to be,
Materialistic
And not idealistic;
So he gave us, "Je pense, donc je suis."
--- Bluebird P9812
He had a mathematical brain.
Rene's downfall,
If he had one at all,
Was the liquid that's made from a grain.
--- Anon
Took a table outside, on the lawn.
Said the serving wench, 'Dear,
Would you care for a beer?'
'I think not.' And like that, he was gone.
--- Anon
On account of his pecker was numb.
He found no solution,
But reached this conclusion:
"Non coito, et, ergo, non sum."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
Who couldn't count higher than three.
He said, "Damn and God rot!
It is plain I am not,
Because si je pense, donc je suit."
--- R I
Was explaining himself to a tart.
"Since I think--I exist,"
He remarked, as he pissed;
"But what does it mean when I fart?"
--- G1376
Did once pronounce in between farts,
"My wonderful plan --
I stink therefore I am!"
A rip-off of Rene Descartes.
--- Tony Burrell
Said, "I hope that you've taken to heart,
That without a safe line
To something divine,
Each is stuck at his self engrossed start."
--- L S Sprigge
This is file usl
I'm sentient, and don't give a damn.
You may think it's jive,
But it's not; I'm alive!
I think, and so therefore I yam.
--- Kirk Miller
When the barkeep said, throat clearing,
"Like another shot?"
Replied, "I think not!"
And then he began disappearing.
--- Daniel Ford
Had studied more Descartes that Sartre.
He said, "What's essential
Is not Existential,
But "We think, and therefore we artre'."
--- New Comic Limericks P8506
Would debate what a hermit should think.
Paraphrasing Descartes,
They'd agree at the start:
"We undoubtedly are, for we stink."
--- Cyber Geezer
With no more that its own daily bread.
Skipping "Can I?" and "Can't I?"s,
All things strive to aggrandize
And to get even further ahead.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
It's sheer will that each thing has its base on.
Whether "dead" or quite quick,
That alone makes it tick
And provides each's etre with raison.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
The Cartesians all need a reform.
But mere grammar's what's taught'm
"Where there's thoughts, something thought'm."
So we're perfectly safe to ignore'm!"
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
Is a matter of will's call and beck.
Much is conscious, it's true.
But if so, it's all due
To the forces below someone's neck.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
Must fall short in their view of experience.
For each thing that's alive
Is a manifold drive.
So their theory's not true (though it nearly is!)
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
Each person is more like a crowd.
But don't look for democracy.
For each drive seeks autocracy
And won't rest till all others are cowed.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
Looks for more than mere manifestation.
While you swagger or cower,
All your drives aim at power
And some share it in general inflation.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9407
Many are and remain always weak.
These have no respect due--
Quite unlike select few,
For whom power exceeds normal peak.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
Have great strength in a form that's inchoate.
All their acts, "Good" or "Evil,"
Involve such upheaval,
They're less apt to succeed than to blow it.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
That we're freed from antique fad or fashion.
Now that God is defunct,
God-made "man" should be junked.
And those dangerous words: Adam smashin'!
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
We're subjected to outmoded schooling.
After heaven's demise,
Here on earth let's get wise:
Good and Evil's my privileged ruling.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
When we're trying to shape a new breed:
Apostate, Apostle:
One set free, one a fossil--
Either way, live your life by some creed!
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
When our powers are finally loosed.
But unless these get aimed
Via values we've framed,
It's still mass-man that's ruling the roost.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
So one knows, yet, what Superman's shape is.
But though Power's his "thing",
Don't infer, if he's king,
That he'll just be a killer or rapist.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9408
Still he won't be a beast or papacious.
For he's (a) not one sided
And (b) always guided
By the future he sees as our race's.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
To produce one or more of such prodigies.
It's a task that's enormous,
Since we're mostly conformists
And have wills even softer that cottage cheese.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
In the face of real strength's emanations.
For while they rule the world,
On their banner, unfurled,
Will read: Power to all tepid nations!
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
Then the weak might of course do some gloating.
But mere strength that's from gangs
Is like sheep that grow fangs;
Still sheep, though they don a wolf's clothing.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
Earthly rule was usurped by this horde.
From year One (Anno Domini)
What they preached was ignominy:
That the penitent's mightier than the sword!
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
There's a chance for a new dawn of day.
Though he may be high-priced,
Let's all hail Antichrist.
And we'll hope he can show us The Way.
--- Lim Hist of Philos P9409
Was once a fine classical teacher,
Till a voice in his head
Told him God was now dead --
This became of his thought the chief feature.
--- L S Sprigge
"It's thumbs up, you're O.K., Pleased to meet ye.
If you're working-class bores,
It's thumbs down and up yours!
If you don't know your place, then I'll teach ye."
--- Gerry Hamill
Had one most extrordinary feature.
He used it to pester
A fat tart named Esther,
But luckily, didn't quite reach her.
--- Bill Wall
What put that strange thought in his head?
On August twenty-fifth
God shattered that myth,
When he took his soul; now look who's dead!
was arrested and changed to "Burrito."
Thus I am what I eat,
But I'll soon be a treat
For some eager, to meet me, mosquito.
--- Lawrence Berk
Striped tigers, will get some assistance
From reading Decartes,
Who holds that it's part
Of his duty to doubt their existence.
--- Leslie Johnson
One thing will emerge, rather starkly,
That he ought to believe
What his senses perceive,
No matter how dimly or darkly.
--- Leslie Johnson
Said, "Nothing can happen by fluke,
For nothing is free
From Nature's decree.
Free will is just gobbledegook.
--- L S Sprigge
In the dark to a maid in his bed:
"No perception, my dear,
Means I'm not really here,
But only a thought in your head."
--- P W R Foot
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