MORE
Still Huxley is puzzling through; A method that makes moments sweeter, "Polynomials don't do a lot", The formalized Hilbert was blessed The Shairelman-Zelditch affair De Branges' continued activity The Eisenstein series of Maass, Shouldn't lectures speeding, face fines? The Levinson method, says Gonek, Needing no fancy index or specs, Persuading high powers to unwrap, Pelikaan gave the clue what to do If Riemann had spoken his heart, The zero permitted by Siegel The randomised matrices model With tricks that complete Riemann's hint, The positive values of Lapid For a new topological space, A fractional functional space, Stark noticed a propoerty strong: With the Riemann Hypothesis found, An oracle there to appeal, The Riemann and Roch-ing connection Rank two with a level inflation, If Weil had not lost in the Crash, Paul Cohen, continuum hero, The method that Katz wants to give The ideas that Newman now floats The transform of xi is a density Brian Conrey has interesting news Take zeta one half plus T; The values of zeta we see Tell the Riemann Hypothesis crew Does Haar measure structures allow I was told by a mathematician, "Statistics," observed Dr. Pound, A man can have great health because Once upon a midnight dreary Oh how well will I remember (LIM SIG - limerick special interest group)
The kinky young hooker, Sue Lanyard, A young statistician who pandered At St. Andrews, a quota-based sample There once was a student named Matt, Why consider two sexes essential? A statistical hangup in Alice's. "In spring," said the strict statistician, When Max and Min together come, An adroit frequent flyer named Hicks My dear, I don't like variation A psychologist near Trois Pistoles, Is Nature so fickle, my friend, Said a cute statistician of Bismark, When trying to find the best line, (Peter Salamon)
While, as for the women, their modes, There once was a fellow from Seoul, (C J Park)
There was a new teacher, McTavage, An impotent, fearless flyer named Crain, A leprous old bastard named Brice, A nonparametric young guy Said the mythical King of Algiers (Pf - could be mean time between fucks)
Sighed the masochist, "I must come clean: An insurance man flies through the air, The logic prof made me turn pale There once was a stat man named Bayes, Inverting his latest dispersions, A randy topologist, Boris, Flappity, floppity, flip.
A method that's now not so new.
Large zetas are seen
Through the fourth or fifth mean,
And fourth powers bring SL two.
--- Martin Huxley
Continuing multiple zeta.
A student called Meera
Has got a lot nearer;
Non-classical cases defeat her.
--- Martin Huxley
Was the theme of Montgomery's slot.
Best constants conjectured
Are those that you lectured?
I think so. The Borweins think not.
--- Martin Huxley
By Cantor, the infinitist.
Must Julia dim it?
"The classical limit,
Like Paradise, doesn't exist!"
--- Martin Huxley
Smooths out all the Maass functions square.
Giving evidence more
For what Sarnak is sure:
No scarring or humps anywhere.
--- Martin Huxley
Rearranges his proof. Well he give it? We
Are told by Li Xianjing,
His story's unchanging,
Though his range doesn't have positivity.
--- Martin Huxley
Though the simplest of things in their class,
Give the funky equation
And new information;
A threshold no zero can pass.
--- Martin Huxley
For I have to take notes missing lines.
The results are terrif,
But my secret hieroglyph:
"Theorem: m not exceeding five nines."
--- Martin Huxley
Who's frequently somewhat sardonic,
Counts zeros as if
There's a one by log shift,
But the progress is not monotonic.
--- Martin Huxley
Keating measures cross-product effects.
Though no proof has been shown,
It fits all data known,
And it passes numerical checks.
--- Martin Huxley
Takes a multiple sum, not a scrap.
Continue it far
Past the poles where they are,
And the moment falls into your lap.
--- Martin Huxley
With an elegant function or two.
Counting weights in a code,
And his mates that he showed,
It could generate a function too.
--- Martin Huxley
We would have Polya's clue from the start.
His manuscript revels
In energy levels,
Then zeta is taken apart.
--- Martin Huxley
Is setting itself up as regal.
It leads a procession
Around it's possession.
Can such a behavior be legal?
--- Martin Huxley
Looks like you hope some other bod'll
Compute all the means;
Combination machines
Make the integrals rather a doddle.
--- Martin Huxley
Mathematicians make zeros a sprint.
One programming quirk
Keeps deleting his work;
You have to do SAVE before PRINT.
--- Martin Huxley
Make delivery terribly rapid.
When he scrolled on his laptop,
The wall image snapped up;
Left me feeling a sea-sick and vapid.
--- Martin Huxley
Take division point lattice as base.
Make it 3D as well,
Quotient down to a cell,
And you're into the solenoid case.
--- Martin Huxley
Is a step-function spanned by the base?
For n-widths they find
Asymtotics refined,
With a lower bound proved in its place.
--- Martin Huxley
Sum of cosines is negative long.
If this cannot be,
Then improvement we see
On the line where no zeros belong.
--- Martin Huxley
We would have a nice quantity bound.
And quality fruits?
Only primitive roots.
Has a summit been reached or a mound?
--- Martin Huxley
But the field must be totally real.
So ternary quadrics
No longer play odd tricks
As Sarnak and friends can reveal.
--- Martin Huxley
Appears on a closer inspection
Of the thesis of Tate,
Not as something to state.
It is only the head of a section.
--- Martin Huxley
It starts with an amplification.
First trick to take place
Is the Peterson trace
Followed by "Voroino summation."
--- Martin Huxley
And retreated to math to earn cash,
He would rise to high rank
As the head of a bank
And perhaps win the Prize, and not Nash.
--- Martin Huxley
Enquired of Piatecki-Shapiro,
"What functions will do
On angles mod star Q.
Don't touch it. You want to find zero?"
--- Martin Huxley
Renders all that's symplectical triv'.
And integer values
At the powers we shall use,
Makes it clear where the poles have to live.
--- Martin Huxley
Are released from his twelve-year-old notes.
Probabilities dense
Should give zeta, and thence
Lee and Yang harvest Riemann's wild oats.
--- Martin Huxley
With twice exponential intensity.
The resemblance is teasing
To the model of Ising,
With its definite line-up propensity.
--- Martin Huxley
With Keating and Snaith and Chris Hughes.
The moments foreseen
Are confirmed by machine;
What is seen at the Number of Skewes.
--- Martin Huxley
Is its modulus greater than V?
Can the size of the set
Be predictable, yet
You get root T in accuracy?
--- Martin Huxley
Are an island of stability.
To topple our towers
Of forecasts for powers,
A storm of size root log log t.
--- Martin Huxley
That zeta alone will not do.
Precise applications
To nice situations
Require it for i-functions too.
--- Martin Huxley
This is file mvl
Taking means on a group? They do now.
And even beginners
Can oscillate spinners,
As Zirnbauer will show you Howe.
--- Martin Huxley
That the odds against having coition,
With Betty Jo Donne,
Are a hundred to one.
So they are--till you ask her permission.
--- John Ciardi A
"Are a poor substitute all around
For the truth, Heaven knows,
But, as scholars disclose,
They're the best one which science has found."
--- A N Wilkins P8311
He eats pizza with tomato sauce.
But Karen says, "NO!"
She undoubtedly knows:
To correlate is not to cause.
--- Anon
As I pondered weak and weary
Over realistic
Limericks on STATISTICS,
Men in white were standing near me.
--- Irving Superior P9306
When they told me in December
I would be released
Provided I had ceased
As a loyal LIM SIG member.
--- Irving Superior P9306
Had a clientele to whom she pandered.
As she brought to fruition
An odd statistician,
She quipped, "This deviation is standard?"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0007
To fashion in math was quite slandered;
He muttered, "My God,
Some vices are odd--
But this deviation is standard."
--- Norm Storer P9307
Of students gives confidence ample
That the men are such terrors,
That their probable errors
Provide an improper example.
--- Harold C Bibby
Who was pretty good swinging a bat.
But math caught his fancy
(Or was it just Nancy?)
And now he's an expert in Stat.
--- M Hale
There is multi-sexual potential
For tri-sexuals and gays
To do it six ways;
After pentas, it goes exponential!
--- John Miller
She measures the size of all phalluses.
She records the position
And length of coition,
And performs a log-linear analysis.
--- Pedro J Saavedra P8208
"I live by this stern supposition:
The chances of love
Are a straight function of
The number of times of coition."
--- Mad Zeno a
Max wants from Min the maximum.
Though Min has heard
That "Mum's the word,"
But is it Max or minimum?
--- Irving Superior P8911
Versed in abstract statistical tricks,
Carried not one but two
Faulty parts when he flew,
So the odds would become one in six.
--- William N Nesbit P9612
From normal and straight copulation;
But if you must swerve
On the Gaussian curve,
The standard is one deviation.
--- Ed Potts P8506
When he studied the feminine role,
From statistics and charts,
Clearly proved that the parts
Added up to much less than the hole.
--- Hugh Oliver 42a
And indefinite future to portend?
"Well I say it is so
'Cause experiments show
Probability reigns in the end."
--- William Rolnick
"Will I note the admission of his mark
To my delicate clit
As a definite hit,
Or just fill out my form with a quiz mark."
--- Keith MacMillan A091A
There's no need to moan or to whine.
Just follow Pete's path
And you'll know what to ask.
For regression, this lesson's just fine.
--- Literary Group
As judged by some strange episodes,
Of avoiding repression
By means of regression,
Are such that their Warden explodes.
--- Harold C Bibby
Who bet Satan he knew how dice roll.
"I know that I'll win
If I just can stay in."
But he wound up too far in the hole.
--- Literary Group
Whose student's IQ's were near savage.
He got up the nerve
To grade on the curve,
So their scores were all above average.
--- Gale Richard Walker
Has an idea that's really insane.
He takes the stance
That there's little chance
Of two defective parts on one plane.
--- Tom Patton P9612
Had balls that were spotted like dice.
They were worthless as could be,
In the way that balls should be,
But a wonderful gambling device.
--- G0272
Once squeezed a significant thigh;
"This wasn't expected,"
The lady objected--
"I'd thought you were squarer than chi."
--- Norm Storer P9307
To his harem assembled, "My Dears,
This may sound off of me.
I've given up sodomy,
You Pf's measured in years."
--- Martin Wellborn P9305
For the median, I'm not so keen';
And I won't have the mode
Even near my abode--
But I'm really turned on by the mean."
--- Norm Storer P9307
Taking TWA on a dare.
The odds are just right
For a very safe flight,
Packing a broken part and a prayer.
--- Tom Patton P9701
As he asked, "What does your Venn entail?"
I said, "Ones, 'Purity',
'Body's two, 'Flavor's three....
I was thinking of Ballantyne Ale..."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8506
Who mooned in peculiar ways.
He'd show all his prior
To any admirer;
But to see his posterior, you pays.
--- Anon
A mathematician pondered aspersions:
"I'd give up my fame
If I just had a dame,
Who'd contort in all ten perversions.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Seduced a young maiden named Doris.
He increased her genus
By thrusting his penis --
Her maidenhead plane's now a torus.
--- H Welchel
The mouse on a moebius strip; ;
The strip revolved;
The mouse dissolved,
In a chrono-dimensional skip.
--- Anon
MORE