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My rooster no longer can fight, I haven't had much time to play; So I am real busy up here, San Antonio? Golly, who knows? Ain't been there in 45 year, While moving, come set here a spell. We're approaching the 4th of July For once I would like for God A skinny chap from Sequim Bay There was a young stripper from Sequim, At the border approaching Seattle There's a Washington town called Tum Tum; Walla Walla WA, The ultimate lewd bacchanalia You'll find, if you go to Humptulips. The ladies, well-bred in Kalama In the Western town of Puyallup See the bosomy maidens in Seiku; Tacoma's a town to eschew; A girl stopped one day in Tukwila, She'd not even said "Da-da" to me -- A new law in Walla Walla -- In Washington city, D.C., Our guide, who's a local old hand, (Acoma founded 1100 AD)
An Eskimo matron in Juneau A kibbutz volunteer near Ashdod, Gals have given Alaska the nod An elf made Alaska his home. Alaska's too cold for my liking; An eskimo living near Nome, A well-traveled lecher of Nome I courted a young lass in Kingman. Today off to Phoenix I go, The plane was revoltingly rough; I am sacked out here in the nude; The rich folk all winter in Scottsdale; I once knew a girl from Tucson, I live in the city of Tucson; I flew to Tucson first class, A native called me dim-witty, In 'Zona's a town, Fifty-six, There's an Arizona town they call Ink. The town where I live, please don't mock... As to origins, what can I say? If down in Hawaii, then you, too, Hawaii -- the land of Aloha, Hawaii -- explaining the Dole. Well, good morning, my friend, so how are ye? There was a young fellow from Boise, Away in far Pocatello, A cowboy out in Montana A hitchhiker left Port Alberni I remember one time down in Reno, In Ely, they call their town "Eely" The people who live in Pahrump A traveler stopped in Pahrump (this valley has endemic fish species - McW)
There's indisputable data A New Mexico town they call Pep, A New Mexican lass from Pie Town The Oregon hamlet of Fossil (OR) I searched for the Oregon trail, It's no one-horse town, that's Tooele; She lets them take turns, don't you know, When Utah's good named they do taint, Just start with a comfortable chair, The smart folk of Utah, collectively,
Nor reach his old vertical height,
Not since Sister Chris
Was offered a kiss,
But gave it a fatal love bite.
--- SFA
I'm working my ass off each day.
Two times I was sent,
To Texas and spent
Some days down in Eagle Pass way.
--- John Miller
With little time to write, I fear.
But I think a transfer
Just may be the answer,
If I move to Texas next year.
--- John Miller
Not bad, as a cattle town goes.
But it seems great to me
That Carol might be
The Next San Antonio Rose!
--- John Miller
But it's grown just a mite, so I hear.
And I can't pack no gun,
So there goes my fun.
Things ain't like they used to, I fear.
--- John Miller
I promise we'll treat you real well.
(There isn't a chance
I'll get into your pants,
'Cause Wifey'd be giving me Hell!)
--- John Miller
And the typical Northwestern sky
Will be threatening rain,
And so once again,
I'll be holdin my cook out inside!
--- Anon
To smile on Seattle and nod
His head yes, so that we
Had the 4th raincloud free.
Perhaps God just thinks I am odd.
--- Anon
Didn't realize that he was gay.
It was hard in the shower,
But it gave him the power
To know just what style to portray.
--- Nancy Cee
Acting on an absurd whim,
Painted her cleft,
Both the right and the left,
And displayed it for us at the gym.
--- Nancy Cee
The people are lined up like cattle.
Despite the Peace Arch,
Toward Seattle they march,
In what seems like a never-ending battle.
--- Darel
Whoever named it was dumb.
Tum Tum means nil,
Not Twice for a pill.
But a tom-tom is a kind of a drum.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Will in our memories stay.
The name isn't mod,
But it's doubly odd.
Surely, one Walla's enough to say.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Can be found in the streets of Centralia,
Where proudly displayed
Are the floats on parade
Of paper-mache genitalia.
--- Ed Potts P8710
A man who loves fat kangaroo hips;
A marsupial rump
That is tender and plump --
Well-roasted and served with mint juleps.
--- Ed Potts P8710
Go to school for their music and drama;
Learn to wash, cook and sew
From their mothers, you know --
But their fucking they learn from old Gramma.
--- Ed Potts P8710
There lives only a single trollop.
For the boys, it is boresome,
They would like it more whoresome --
But you can't fight with a poll by Gallup.
--- Ed Wolfert P8304
Wear provocative clothes one can peek through.
So the opposite sex
Spends the day craning necks
For a top, frontal, side, or oblique view.
--- Ed Potts P8710
It's pulp-mills create its milieu.
A fart in Tacoma
Improves its aroma,
And most of its citizens do.
--- Ed Potts P8710
And slept with a friendly gorilla
Which caused her to long
For a night with King Kong,
And a couple of bangs from Godzilla.
--- Ed Potts P8710
Our new babe whom I danced on my knee.
When she bellowed the worth
Of the town of her birth:
"Walla Walla", she gurgled with glee. (WA)
--- Laurence Perrine P8805
When mugged you must holler holler.
The law is precise,
You must holler twice
Before you can maul a mauler.
--- Irving Superior P8805
There are wonders around you to see --
The historical page
Of our great heritage,
But it's hard to find somewhere to pee.
--- Hugh Oliver A032A
Was explaining the lay of the land:
Over there, in back o' ma
Pueblo is Acoma.
Here, it's all cactus and sand.
--- Anon
Is acknowledged as numero uno,
For although her veneer
Is a trifle severe,
She is only too anxious to...you know.
--- Hugh Oliver A013B
At his classes just started to nod.
He was no sun basker;
He'd come from Alaska;
He was more used to a line and a rod!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
As the place to find husbands, by God;
For it's well understood
That the odds are quite good,
Even if all the goods are quite odd.
--- Jerry Nordal P2005
When a lady encountered in Rome
Asked, "Aren't you the boy
That I met out in Troy?"
He said, "No'm, I'm a gnome out of Nome." (AL)
--- Laurence Perrine P8805
I'd rather be beachfront and biking.
So I'll sit here and hack
And plan my attack
On Key West and Margaritaville hiking!
--- Ystap TP9802
Erected a sign by his home.
He hung on his totem,
A jock and a scrotum,
And the hair wore a walrus-tusk comb.
--- L1499
Became too exhausted to roam,
So now he makes passes
At Eskimo lasses
And gets all his nooky near home.
--- Allan Ottley, 1974
She asked, "Will you buy me a ring, man?
For it don't mean a thing
If I don't get that ring,
And I'll know you're just pulling my string, man!"
--- John E Mayhood P9805
Where it will be too hot, I know.
It's always too hot
In that bedamned spot
Unless I am undressed -- like so!
--- Anon
This is file kqm
My poor tummy ain't up to snuff.
No need for rebuke,
'Cause I never puke --
Nobody must clean up gross stuff.
--- Anon
Don't look or I'll think that you're rude.
Forgot my PJs,
And so, for three days,
I'll sleep as though I'm in the mood.
--- Anon
They can pay the top price at a lot sale.
They go North in the summer;
It's really a bummer;
The "haves" cheer, the "have nots" wail.
--- John E Mayhood P9805
Who liked to fuck with her shoes on.
She had a list that
She used to keep track
Of those she'd had on her futon.
--- GearHart
I don't know this girl with the futon.
I've become obsessed;
Give me her address,
And shortly she will be put upon.
--- Puff Adder
Attempting to find this hot lass.
I searched far and wide
And punctured my hide
With cacti needles in my ass.
--- Frank Fazed
Said I should look in the city.
I checked all the streets,
But found no hot sheets.
Thus a sad end to this ditty.
--- Frank Fazed
Where the musicians play only hot licks;
And acrobats tumble,
With nary a fumble,
As they show off their athletic tricks.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Though why, I surely can't think.
Is it something they make?
Or the hue of their lake?
We hope that their ink doesn't stink.
--- William K Alsop Jr
It's a place in which I put much stock;
It was there I was born,
On a bright Autumn morn,
In the suburbs just outside Wedlock.
--- Arthur Deex P8809
My town is conducive to play.
Thanks to freeways and streets
And auto's back seats,
We're never too far from El Lay.
--- Kathleen Martin P8809
Could find a Wahine there who'd do,
Some things kinda sporty,
And let you be naughty...
You might kiss that gal Honolulu.
--- Anon
Where lives an old guy name of Noah,
Who offers each lass
In a skirt made of grass,
A wee trim with his trimmer and mower.
--- Anon
They show you a pineapple whole,
"The rich get to gulp
Nine-tenth of the pulp.
The poor get one-tenth plus the hole.
--- Irving Superior P8609
As for my interruption I'm sorry,
But the girls you decree,
While quite fine we agree,
Can not match the great leis from Hawaii.
--- Anon
Who at times was exceedingly noisy;
So his friend's joy increased
When he move way back East
To what people in Brooklyn call Joisy.
--- John Straley
The girls wiggle their asses like jello.
When boys try to get in
To commit venial sin,
They go off in the air with a bellow.
--- Ed Wolfert P8405
Had never seen a gymkana.
He'd never seen fish
Or Lilian Gish,
An apple, a pear, or banana.
--- Spike Mulligan
To travel to Elko and Fernly.
A young blonde in a Ford
Stopped and said: "Climb aboard!".
Which he did, interrupting his journey.
--- John E Mayhood P0900
I wandered into a casino.
Just like other saps,
I lost money on Craps,
And finally went broke playing Keno
--- Gifford Wherry
And I thought I could court their girls freely.
I said: "I'm a guy
On whom girls can rely."
But the Ely girls answered: "Oh, Really?"
--- P9805
Think their town is more than a bump
On all the road maps,
So they build speed traps;
They're hoping to catch Forrest Gump!
--- Marlene Lewis
And exclaimed, "This place is a dump!
The all-night casino
Has just Bingo and Keno,
And my waitress is kind of a frump."
--- Susan Addington
That it's often warm in Nevada.
Except here in Reno,
Playing blackjack and Keno,
Where it keeps getting colder and sadda.
--- Lynn Mostafa
From Taos, it's only a step.
In Pep they grow peppers
And lots of high steppers;
Those kids there really are hep!
--- William K Alsop Jr
Was wearing a red satin gown.
On the front was a stain
That she couldn't explain,
She said, as she wore a deep frown.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Has climate you could not call docile.
Just sage brush and heat
And sand 'neath your feet.
The place would vex an Apostle.
--- Larry Davis P8805
Never dreaming my efforts would fail;
But, in fact, let me face it,
I found not a trace. It
Is myth, either/or a gone trail.
--- Laurence Perrine P8412
So says the town's strumpet, Priscilla.
It now owns two horses;
The problem, of course is
Deciding on which one to fill her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Then she lets the dogs have a go.
She sells tickets, too!
Now tell me, would you
Like watching her kinky floor show?
--- Bonnie
By filing a baseless complaint,
They're perpetuating
A bargain with Satan;
For partners with angels they aint.
--- Anon
Removing the cushions with care.
Then apply broken glass
And douse it with gas,
And land with your backside all bare.
--- Anon
Can correct our problems effectively.
For Hatch and his kid,
Hope for the stupid
In voters and juries, respectively.
--- Anon
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