And so comes the storm and the lightning,
We both feel the passion is heightening.
Conditions climatic
Give a climax ecstatic,
But the thunder drowns yells of delightning.
--- Anon

A newlywed pair from Des Moines
Remarked as they fitted their loins,
"The position is odd,
But we have to applaud
The gusto we get in our groins."
--- Hugh Clary

The making of love is a science,
Demanding from guys the appliance
Of forces hydraulic
When having a frolic
At ladies's behest and compliance.
--- Peter Wilkins

It is true, that sex is delicious;
With beautiful ladies, lubricious.
And with my friend May,
There's not much to pay,
Just cleaning and washing the dishes.
--- Tiddy Ogg

An American fellow from Tucson,
And a lady Korean from Pusan,
Made it sexually,
And for that they deserve no abuse, son.
--- Isaac Asimov

I wondered how Sue was in bed,
So one day I put it to Ned.
He said she was cocky,
Behaved like a jockey;
Just mounted and gave him his head.
--- SFA

That Ned! What a kidder! I swear!
Wears Winnie-the-Pooh underwear!
He calls his dick Tommy,
And cries for his mommy
Each time that I saddle the mare.
--- Sue

He claims he is willing to jump
With just a few slaps on his rump.
But all that he got
Was spittle and snot,
And Tommy reduced to a stump.
--- SFA

At lovemaking, Ned was a flop.
He'd seem to be ready, then drop...
And leave me throbbin'.
Maybe, like Dobbin,
He needed a touch of the crop.
--- Sue

A friend of Hermione's, Sue?
I bet you're from somewhere near Crewe.
A god-awful dump, it
Has so little crumpet,
That guys will be chuffed to see you.
--- Peter Wilkins

That Neddy, he fancies bare-back,
When mounted my mares in the sack.
So next time you jump,
No touching his rump.
Just give him his head with a crack!
--- SFA

Now Catherine dear, do get a grip;
'Twas just an innocuous quip.
I know it looks rude,
So before I am sued,
The crack that I meant was the whip.
--- SFA

The regulars know this, old horse,
Just had to consider the source.
It's not the first where
You've broken some mare.
You're just like your fodder, of gorse.
--- Cyber Wizard

Luce, coming with you is such fun;
The bestest thing I've ever done.
We really were mixing
Our juices and fixing
A bun to go into your oven.
--- Anon

A handsome young gasman from Chester,
Surprised a blond housewife called Hester.
Said he, "This is sweeter
Than reading your meter."
So they then took a lengthly siesta.
--- Anon

She was not just a roll in the hay;
They enjoyed sex in every which way.
To each occasion he'd rise,
But to his surprise,
She required it more times every day.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0510Q

A mistress started saying to me,
I had a pathetic peepee.
So I bowed head in shame,
Then she laughed and I came,
And the both of us were so happy!
--- Alexander the Poet

In the heat of the midday at Douz,
They go to their room for a snooze;
But somehow, it seems,
They never have dreams--
For a snooze is not quite what they choose.
--- Harold C Bibby P9710

There's a rumour I'd like to smother,
Concerning my father and mother;
They sleep in same bed,
I swear they were wed!
(Unfortunately, not to each other.)
--- David Miller

In the circus, a giant named Kerr
Said, "It's Donna the Dwarf I prefer.
Although I'm twice as tall,
We still have quite a ball.
You could say that I'm nuts over her."
--- Jerry Nordal P0310

The pleasures of sex are so various
That indulgence can prove most precarious,
For practiced at length
It depletes a man's strength,
While delighting no end the ovarious.
--- Grand Prix Lim 17 a

Your house is your home and your castle,
It's the place where you argue and wrassle,
And that's where you stay
On a cold rainy day,
And stir up a conjugal hassle.
--- Limber Limericks

There was a young fellow named Wattie
Who drove every girl he met dotty.
He explained, "I'm the boy
Who fucks women with joy,
And delights when they rattle the potty."
--- G1478

How nice that we come in two sexes!
Though everthing else may perplex us,
Those pussies and pricks (Though some do incline )
And kisses and licks, (To feel one sex is fine,)
Erase the frustrations that vex us.

(Even in places like Texas.)
--- Edward Leer

There was a young fellow from Eton,
Used always to sleep with the heat on,
Till he ran into a lass
Who showed him her ass.
Now they sleep with only a sheet on.
--- L0030

There was a young lady named Stein,
With rondures so nearly divine,
And so few inhibitions
To set harsh conditions,
That she spent half her life on her spine.

(rondure - gracefully rounded curvature)
--- John Ciardi

The rest of her time, let me add,
Was not spent in cleaning her pad,
But prone, or asprawl,
Or astraddle, but all,
(Nearly all), of it scantily clad.
--- John Ciardi

Which saved her a deal of expense.
Thus, by practicing good common sense,
She made both ends meet
Through the rent of her suite,
And her lingerie bills were immense.
--- John Ciardi

There was a young woman named Rhoda,
As sweet as a chocolate soda.
It was such a delight
To screw her at night,
Then one more at dawn as a coda.

(coda - refrain)
--- Isaac Asimov

There was a young woman of Essex,
Who had many occasions to bless sex,
And would banish from sight,
Any moron who might,
Suggest it was time she had less sex.
--- Isaac Asimov

A foot-fetish was Katie Finch's,
But now I've engaged her in clinches.
She's cured of that vice
And thinks it so nice,
To bounce on my eleven inches.
--- Tiddy Ogg

In the pasture, a farmer of Jackson
Debauched an old maid name of Saxon.
When the orgy was over,
She arose from the clover
And said, "Do you think you'll be back, son?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0217

There was a young lady named Twiss,
Who said she thought fucking a bliss.
For it tickled her bum,
And caused her to come,
While comfortablly lying like T H

I S.
--- L0117

This is file xtm

While giving her feathers a ruffling,
Her screams of delight needed muffling.
She entered his prize
To silence her cries,
And hear the sweet sounds of his snuffling.
--- SFA

He knew she would soon be in trouble
For saying he can't burst her bubble.
With one mighty push,
Her bountiful bush
Was quickly reduced to a stubble.
--- Anon

She done made me swear under oath
To tackle her lush undergrowth.
I tried to be kind
And what did I find?
One hedgehog, two frogs and a sloth.
--- SFA

A maid in the land of Aloha
Got laid in the prow of a proa.
And as the island stud sneezed,
The maid, not displeased
Cried, "Come on! Let's do it Somoa."

(proa - double-ended Indonesian sail boat)
--- Mervyn Cripps

There was a young girl of Topeka,
Who from diddling grew weaker and weaker.
'Till a guy, name of Dick
Went and offered his prick,
So she tried it and shouted, "Eureka!"
--- L0901

Said a lusty young maiden of Kew,
"I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't chew.
But do not think, therefore,
There's nothing I care for,
If you know what I mean, and you do."
--- Anon

Maggie, a most amoral soul,
Is obsessed with African's poles.
She told her black chauffeur
That he was her gopher,
And that he should go for her hole.
--- L0346

Annie the cook's quite a dish;
Matters not that she smells just like fish,
So Francis did not,
Tie his dick in a knot,
And Annie the cook got her wish.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In a dame, it's a praiseworthy attitude
To mention her most profound gratitude,
After being laid nicely,
Not oncely, but TWICELY...
For then, gratitude is no platitude.
--- Grand Prix Lim 992

A willing young dilly named Marge
Who was screwed by nine men on a barge,
Remarked with a grin
"Some insist sex is sin,
But it's really great fun, by and large."
--- Grand Prix Lim 150

A fine Southern lady named Hentz,
Preferred colored boys when she'd yentz.
She explained, "When they're black,
They've a spring in their back,
And their tools are most always immense."
--- L1434

Some girls live for adding the yeast
To the life of some masculine beast,
Who keeps rising, although
She keeps kneading his dough,
And will butter all buns at a feast.
--- John E. Mayhood P0504

Intelligent chats are divine;
But I'd rather aesthetically dine
On a tasty and sweet,
Big dumb piece of meat,
Than fuck an old Albert Einstein.
--- Anon

Said a seductive filly in heat,
"To me a good lay is a treat!
I have an addiction
To pleasurable friction,
Like the motion of meat rubbing meat!"
--- Larry Wilde

I'm sure, John, your fit will be snug,
Cushioned inside of my rug.
Nestled with care
In my pubic hair,
Just like that famous old bug.
--- Susan Arden

Said she, "You move me to much distress",
As she proceded to undress.
"I see you're above par.
Promise we won't take it too far.
No, No, No, No, - Oh Yes!"
--- Jim

A well hung young fellow was Browder;
His pecker was longer and prouder.
When he screwed old Miss Gariepy
Who was looking for therapy,
She no longer did need sleeping powder.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0067

A sweet little deb named Miss Shore
Was fucking the boys more and more.
She knew digital pleasure
Was a far safer measure,
"But Hell!" she said, "What's a cunt for?"
--- G2206

A lovely young virgin named Lynn
Once said about fucking, "It's sin."
But a fellow named Tang,
With a twenty-inch wang,
Made her cry to the heavens, "It's in!"
--- Lims For Year - 01

There's a luscious young charmer named Carmen
Who fucks for bums, boxers, and barmen.
Says she, "The effete
Have more brains, but less meat.
I prefer hairy fellows who are men!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 276 G0285

My lady and I get along better
When I keep her cunny much wetter.
I sing her a song,
And give her my dong.
She howls like our old Irish setter!
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Joy
Who spread out her legs for a boy.
Then she let out a shriek
Which reechoed a week,
But the shriek that she let was for Joy.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0223

Now that one, young Dave, was a beaut.
Far better than mine, or that cute
Young giggler named Mabel
From Elba, who's able
To squeal in great hoots when I shoot.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The price that I charge is not high;
He merely must paint me the sky,
With words or with deeds
And meat all my needs,
He will, for he's that kind of guy.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Gay,
Who was asked to make love in the hay.
She jumped at the chance
And took off her pants.
She was tickled to try it that way.
--- Anon

In Boston a man so ill bred,
Once wore nothing but feathers to bed.
Such a fetish, it's true,
Might not suit me or you,
But it sure tickled the lady he spread.
--- Larry Wilde

Beneath a tree one rainy day in May,
A lover and his swooning lady lay.
He was in her to the hilt,
And though she was nearly kilt,
She loved it, and kept hollering, "Hooray!"
--- L1478

Once on my allotment in Harrow,
I nurtured a very large marrow.
My girlfriend, though tight,
Stayed up through the night
To widen her once straight and narrow.
--- Anon

"I've traveled since first I was born,"
Said Sadie, a little forlorn.
"And I can attest
The trip I like best,
Is the trip all around the big horn."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

No huffing and no sweaty puffing;
No whining, no "That's not enoughing!"
The reflex is complex
Yielding exquisite sex,
With none of that Billy Goat Gruffing!
--- Anon

Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
As she rode atop Mr. Haley--
He came like a comet
As she thrust upon it,
And now he orbits her daily.
--- Limberick

Remembering all of my roots,
(The ones where I took off my suits),
The one I liked best
Was bouncing on the chest,
Of the blonde whom I'll only call Toots.
--- Archie

A bride who had come up from Austin,
Was buying a mattress in Boston,
And bouncing on one.
She said, "This is fun,
For here is the one I'll be tossed on."
--- Alsops Foibles

A vigorous young Nova Scotian,
Used to plunging about on the ocean,
By his girl was undressed
And is now quite obsessed
With that up-and-down copular motion.
--- Keith MacMillan 23a