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And who do you think is my guess And why should we fight off the thugs, And how 'bout replacing those slobs When the presidency goes to me, My suspicions have been reinforced, Leave a hundred billion bucks by the door, Hamas makes the laws now, forsooth; Hamas now is legit, it's the truth. Abdullah wrote up a peace plan, The PLO leader's been felled; I could bore you to tears with the links In nineteen sixty-seven, Arab masses I saw there tonight in the news, During the US Gulf War, As Kofi read back through the laws, The Kuwaitis are all without spines; Arab nations all use the UN Comic opera Moammar Khadaffy, Having scrutinized Colonel Qaddafi, To hell with you Moammar Khadaffy, There's no such thing as "Peace For Land". Al Jazeera lets madmen on the air, Poor old Arafat thinks he's in hell, The polls show George Bush losing steam; There once was a Saudi diplomat In Arabic, Islam means "Peace", In the West Bank, camps watch the UN. A militant sect in Riyadh They oppose the traditional vogue When the oil is dried up and gone, There was an old rag-head named Yasser On a culture built on such shame, Poor Yasser was trapped like a rat, Today's Mid-East peace, to my eyes, In Israel lived a GAUCHE goy, He plied them with warm Krispy Kremes, "Though," said Bill, "we have talked a whole lots When Arafat offered his hand I'll tell what I've heard, so I'll parrot-that, They ignore their own partisan bellows Now Bush and his cronies can see In history, forty years is just a blink. Said a guy who sells title insurance, Said the previous owner, "Alas, The Muslims and Jews have few trees; Perhaps I should gum us some hummus Or maybe a gorganzo feast All their mullahs and sheiks will be bared With Yasser and Rabin side by side, At peace they're no longer bucking, There once was a lady centurion A land full of milk and of honey? You what? Ah, at last I construe, You'll then make us friends with the Yanks, When Monica spilled the beans on Bill, Said a jack-booted Tel Aviv Jew, "My hobbies are simple and few -- The Israelis have pulled off a show stopper; The subject line might have held clues Please don't be afraid or don't show it. I saw there tonight on the news, In the toilet of Minister Begin The Israelis are God's chosen guys; The Israelis blood starts to boil The Israelis have plenty of troops; Jews find this event analgesic: (Israelis kill Arab paraplegic anti-Jew with missles)
When Yasser arrives on the scene,
To replace our worn out INS?
Why, old Mexico!
The borders would go
And frictions would be a lot less.
--- John Miller
When it comes to controlling bad drugs?
A Colombian chief
Would quell all our grief
Just as soon as he worked out the bugs.
--- John Miller
On the Hill, who, not doing their jobs,
Could learn from the Asians
Who, on most occasions,
Can raise enough port for their mobs.
--- John Miller
There will be no more secrecy.
Each night I'll be blown
And all will be shown
On National Public TV.
--- Dirruk
'Bout limericks John Miller endorsed;
His Thesaurus, 'though old,
Has on Ebay been sold...
His limericks are now all out-sourced.
--- John Miller
And you'll have Egypt right there in the war.
They will march and roll
And the war takes it's toll,
And they crawl back to Cairo once more.
--- Tomer Shiran
They're no longer unwashed, uncouth.
Criticizing Hamas
Gets a boot in the ass,
And an eye gets an eye -- ditto tooth.
--- Arthur Deex
But they yet are a group without ruth.
You can still hear them shout,
"All you Jews, get on out."
Now it's an eye for an eye or a tooth.
--- Tom Patton
As best as his Arab mind can.
"There's no cause for alarm;
Just lay down your arms;
Open wide when the shit hits the fan.
--- Tomer Shiran
Al Qaeda, perhaps, can be quelled;
But I think that HAMAS,
Though a pain in the ass,
At least is more easily spelled.
--- John Miller
Of the Arab world's sick highjinks.
They lie and they will,
Without mercy, kill;
This Islamic bullshit just stinks.
--- Tomer Shiran
Drafted soldiers from the lowest of classes.
They invaded Israel
And we're quite glad to tell,
They were kicked the hell out on their asses.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0609
Another "Revenge of the Jews":
"Kill that cripple from Hamas!
Make them cry for their mamas!
(How long can they take this abuse?)"
--- Anon
King Fahd fell in love with a whore.
He gave her a poke
And she gave him a stroke.
Now he reigns his sad kingdom no more.
--- Tomer Shiran
He saw something that caused him to pause.
It's not right when you kill
Like that Arafat will,
But then the UN's founded on flaws.
--- Anon
You can tell by their constant loud whines.
First they flee and they yelp,
Then they beg for our help.
Now they're acting like miserable swines.
--- Tomer Shiran
To fuck the U.S. once again.
They all act very rude
And eat all our food,
While they make living bombs out of men.
--- Tomer Shiran
Seems to suffer from pulling his taffy,
And while there isn't proof
It will make you a goof,
He is surely one duck who is daffy.
--- J Beauregard Pepys P8201
Since his policy moves are so daffy,
All our analysts posit
He'd be wise to supposit
Penicillin -- not salt-water taffy.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407
You're a braggart and far to show-offy.
But our feet we're not draggin',
We'll just fix your wagon
By recaffeinating you coffee.
--- Ed Wolfert P8205
If you try to extend out your hand
In peace, you will learn
That deals only will earn
Yet another Arab League demand.
--- Tomer Shiran
To incite violence with such a flair,
They all rant and rave.
What a way to behave.
To show reason, well, how could they dare?
--- Tomer Shiran
Confined in his own roach motel.
With his 200 men
Sharing one dirty pen,
Two more days and they'll croak from the smell.
--- Betty Ann Cansano
He will gather up his closest team.
When he gets their advice,
He will top playing nice.
Yasser Arafat's ass he will ream.
--- Tomer Shiran
Whose King was terribly fat.
The ambassador's nose
Quite often goes
Where Fahd has most recently shat.
--- Tomer Shiran
But their terrorists will never cease.
If they run out of sons
For their suicide bombs,
Then they's gladly send out a niece.
--- Tomer Shiran
Let the killers set up shop again.
They will turn a blind eye
While civilians die,
From the suicide bombs made of men.
--- Tomer Shiran
Is the little known "Gaelic" Jihad.
Their aim is to goad
The Arab dress code,
By garishly dressing in plaid.
--- Alex Heydon P0507
Of the states that are deemed to be rogue;
Calling out from afar
With an, "Allah ach-bar!"
In a plainly discernable brogue.
--- Alex Heydon P0507
There will be hardtimes for King Fahd's spawn.
They will sell rugs and sheets
On the trash-covered streets,
But I won't let them work on my lawn.
--- Tomer Shiran
Who picked up the phone for a natter.
But no one would chat
With this terrorist prat,
About Israel or any other matter.
--- Lester Haines
Gaza will burn like a flame.
Punishment for his crime,
Yasser screams one last time;
He's struck blind, crippled and lame.
--- Tomer Shiran
With a napkin that's used as a hat.
"I'm too timid to fight.
If this hat were just white,
I'd surrender and leave it at that."
--- Tomer Shiran
This is file vrl
Involves Christian acts in disguise.
There the Arab and Jew,
Act like most Christians do,
And are killing each other like flies.
--- James M Menger P9501 a
An impulsive and silly brash boy.
He courted the rich
With ham products which
Neither Arabs or Jews might enjoy.
--- Chris Papa
Which though the real stuff of his dreams,
Contained much pork lard,
Or such is the canard.
Thus he failed with his ambitious schemes.
--- Chris Papa
We've signed nothing on lines of black dots.
Though I like both of you
Yasser: Netanyahu.
We're three leopards who won't change our spots.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9706
To Rabin, the old firebrand,
Yitzhak's anger did linger,
He gave Yasser the finger,
A nonverbal stern reprimand.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9402
Old Moses, he went to Mount Ararat.
But the man's spelling flaws
Are no doubt the cause
Why Sharon now hates Arafat.
--- Anon
And embrace as each ancient feud mellows.
Can we ask if they're gay?
It is truthful to say
That in bed they make very strange fellows.
--- Jim Vandermeer P9402
MidEast can't do democracy.
After Palestine voted,
Hamas, whom they noted,
It won't work in theocracy.
--- Anon
So why now do Arabs make a stink.
Lebanese and Israeli
Make all the headlines daily,
And peacekeepers hang on the brink.
--- Tom Patton
"I can't give you that much assurance.
The deed says "signed by God",
Yet I find it quite odd
That it's based on a shady occurrence."
--- Arthur Deex P0609
God signed my deed, too, in times past;
Now some arrogant louse
Is entrenched in my house --
Look out, buddy, it's time to kick ass!"
--- Arthur Deex P0609
It's hotter than Hell and don't freeze!
In the cool morn they sup,
Then each other blow up
To just get a bit of a breeze.
--- David Miller
And blast them from Haifa to Qumus.
While shit-sticky-icky
They might be less picky,
United in cursing my bummus.
Could prime me to set free The Beast!
My greatest and best,
I'll bow to the west,
And level all lands to the east.
As both rabbis and camels: dehaired
By this mighty hot breeze;
All will fall to their knees
And then pray to the King to be spared.
And the knot of peace firmly tied,
Now that these two are wed,
When they climb into bed,
I wonder which one plays the bride.
--- Jim Menger P9403
Thorny issues they're no longer ducking.
They've cleaned up their act,
And made a peace pact.
I wonder which side got the fucking?
--- Jim Menger P9403
Who had an affair with Ben-Gurion.
He enjoyed her in peace
For she was from Greece
And 'twas Arabs he spent all his fury on.
--- Isaac Asimov
I guess, Lord, that you think it's funny.
That glutinous gel
Will make walking pure hell.
How about showers of money?
--- Tiddy Ogg
The land of the Canaanites, who
Believe not in thee,
So it's okay if we
Go blat them till all of them's slew.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who'll give us big rockets and tanks.
We'll blast Palestinians,
Their Hesbollah minions,
And still not get peace? Well gee, thanks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He dropped bombs to create a new thrill.
Now when he gets erections,
Spy satellite detections
Show Turbans, as they head for the hills.
--- Jimi Lee
"I found that my instincts were true.
It is great fun to shoot
In the camps near Beruit.
Did you enjoy my Holocause II?"
--- Said Haman P8407
Bombs I hid and grenades that I threw --
I struck up real terrors
For West Bank Arab mayors
And beat dead a prisoner or two."
--- Said Haman P8407
Shot him leaving his church, was a whopper.
They nailed him right there
In his little wheel chair,
With missles they fired from a chopper.
--- John Miller
Suggesting some incorrect views.
Since I cannot invest
In a bullet-proof vest,
Now way will I mention the Jews.
--- John Miller
If you're in some danger, we'll know it.
If a Jew takes your life,
With a bomb, gun, or knife,
You should suspect a suicide poet.
--- Ward Hardman
Another "Revenge of the Jews";
"Kill that Cripple from Hamas!
Make them cry for their Mamas!
(How long can they take this abuse?)
--- Ward Hardman
Is the seat of today's famous Fagin.
Toilet paper rolls
Bear religious scrolls,
And the face of dear President Reagan.
--- Ferris T McMilford P8303
In business they carry no flies.
They're chosen as scabs
To be picked by Arabs,
Sharing land with the Hesbollah spies.
--- Tony Burrell
'Cause the Arabs have got all the oil.
Arabs don't understand;
They offered them sand.
The rest they must find by their toil.
--- Tony Burrell
Some say that they even have nukes.
But life is real crappy,
When they are not happy,
Which they're certainly not, by the looks.
--- Tony Burrell
"Thank heaven the guy's paraplegic!
This may seem ignoble
(He's rather immobile);
It's terribly bad luck to be sick."
--- Ward Hardman
The old sabra, Yitzhak Rabin
Says, "Of bloodshed enough!"
Of his fag takes a puff,
And departs to go visit the queen.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9402
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