Why not the usual rants;
I'd expect to see congressmen dance
In Republican glee.
Do you think it could be
This girl's been in everyone's pants?
--- MrMalo

When the sex scandal news was uncloaked,
I felt sorry for Monica's folks.
But when raising their daughter,
You'd think they'd have taught 'er,
Lawyer fees can make Daddy go broke!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young lady named Monica,
Who played penis just like the harmonica,
Till near Capitol Hill,
She played one named Bill,
And the notes could be heard to Salonika!
--- Orlando Joe T9801

Mystery visits by "Mon" have folks buzzin';
It's been said there were over three dozen.
Maybe trips to Bill's study
Were just to see Buddy,
And she's just one of Bill's kissin' cousins.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A policy wonk we were cravin'
And thought Bill our country'd be savin'.
But the shitty louse,
Once in the White House,
Was only a Monica maven.
--- Chris Papa

He proved to be most of all, lusty;
Entranced by a young maiden busty,
Who cold pizzas schlepped,
And into pants crept,
Performing her service quite trusty.
--- Chris Papa

Old Bill and his intern were playing;
Toward his office he heard people straying.
He said, "Monica, please,
Get up off your knees;
They'll never believe you were praying."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508

"Be less brassy," his staff all advised.
Playing saxaphone is ill advised.
With a gin and a tonic-a,
She switched to whore Monica,
Which he played, as the media surmised.
--- Res Ipsa

"Slick Willy," that SOBRIQUET fair,
Like when Clinton took to the air,
Denying the wrongs,
From snapping the thongs
To having "no sex" with great care.
--- Chris Papa

So friends, with my rhyme so trite,
I say Starr's report has short-sight.
That those with big hair
Who wished life was fair,
Must always be treated with spite.
--- Anon

Little old Monica Lewinsky
With Clinton and jizz on her chinsky,
Tried to deny
She'd had sex with the guy,
Saying, "He never once got it insky!"
--- Gearhart

If true (like the press I'm just gropin')
Then Bill Clinton will surely be hopin'
That Monica, the slut,
Will keep her mouth shut,
When previously, she'd kept it wide open!
--- H Myers T9801

The victim is now perpetrater;
She thought pol would shed wife and mate her.
Instead she found out,
He just used his clout,
To have his way and penetrate her.
--- Chris Papa

An adventurous intern named Monica,
Told Linda, Bill's love did astonish her.
"If I'd known all I'd get,
Was my underwear wet,
I'd have kept our relations platonic-er."
--- Anon

At the White House, a young girl interned,
And her passion for Slick Willie burned.
But her ardor soon cooled,
As the media drooled,
While by Slick she was publicly spurned!
--- Michael W Johnson

There in the staid White House limbo,
Stood Willy with arms held akimbo.
No need to hold on,
As "no-sex" Don Juan,
Was pleasured by raven-haired bimbo.
--- Chris Papa

Do not feel bad for Miss Lewinsky;
She's been offered $2 mill to show skinsky.
Penthouse wants her nude,
And with her attitude,
I'll bet she can take one on the chinsky.
--- MrMalo

Our Monica's jetted off now
To India. They love her, and how!
Those randy Hindus
Have named vindaloos
After her, she's their new sacred cow.
--- Anon

I know what he did was not nice,
But many a man has that vice.
He sure found some shame
With that Monica dame,
But she had intent to entice!
--- Maggie

Monica look like she's finding
It's hard to be pristine and shining;
She set out to snare
Bill in his own lair,
And now all she'd doing is whining!
--- Ystap T9801

When Monica serves the Chief Crum,
She usually murmurs, "Yum-yum."
If you have plenty power,
She'll come to your bower.
I had a hunch she would succumb.
--- Al Willis P9805a

Collection may be her main reason
For hunting the men out of season.
She's keep score,
But she's not a whore;
She freely puts out 'cause it's pleasin'.
--- Karen

Monica's morals did slip
When she swallowed the presidential tip.
She thought she'd go far
And be a big star,
But instead, poor Monica did Tripp.
--- H Welchel

The intern wished to be upward bound;
She needed a plan that was sound.
She hadn't a clue
As to what to do;
She decided, I'll just sleep around.
--- Puff Adder

It's been days since the sweet Miss Lewinsky
Went to see Kenneth Starr, the butt-in-ski.
But why does she balk
And refuse to talk?
Could it be that her story is thinski?
--- MrMalo

Lye soap's what that girl should use
In her mouth, or be singing the blues.
It gives me the willies
'Cause I've heard that Billy's
Stuff tastes just like ten-year-old shoes.
--- Cheryl

The job was a stroke of fate,
Though not at the usual rate.
In an unpaid status,
She performed the job gratis,
But you could say the tips were great.
--- MrMalo

Monica, how far will you go
To get on Springer's talk show?
You're trailer-park trash
With a mountain of cash
And the new queen of fellatio!
--- H Welchel

Monica was like a sea breeze;
A young girl with a great pair of knees.
Though she'd not swallow well,
She must have been swell.
Her fee: "Ninety grand job, please."
--- Jennifer Morales

There once was a gal from L.A.
Whose deep throat was used without pay.
When it was found,
Her book would be bound.
We know who used who, today.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

To add to his eternal shame,
In playing his dangerous game,
Forget that we see
He's given cigars a bad name!
--- Chris Papa

He really deserves touch of shame,
For actions done after the blame.
He reacted like worm
With truth, not a germ,
And even gave cigars a bad name.
--- Chris Papa

Sex can be wonderfully AERIOUS
Or like canker sore or tooth carious.
But when it is done
With weird cigar fun,
I'd call it a wee bit nefarious.
--- Chris Papa

This is file ulm

Clinton keeps his cigars and much more
When visits of State are in store.
Mr Arafat pondered,
If his stogie had wandered
From Monica's own humidor.
--- Anon

There was a counsel named Starr,
Who some say he went too far,
To avenge Mister Nixon;
He put the fix on
Bill and his famous cigar.
--- Nick Markov

Poor Bill Clinton felt quite BEREFT,
The moment that Monica left,
What solace he'd get
From cigar all wet,
Once wielded by her soft hands deft.
--- Chris Papa

Poor Clinton, no more top banana;
His heaven is empty of manna;
It's a downfall bizarre,
But Lewinsky's cigar
Was purchased in Castro's Havana.
--- Armand Singer

A slave to his sexual hankerings,
For interns and odd hanky-pankerings,
Bill put his cheroot
Into Monica's chute,
She blew him, of all things, some chancre rings.
--- Anon

Monica went shopping at the store;
Bill needed fine cigars, she bought more.
The new way he teased.
Oh my! How it pleased.
She's the presidential humidor.
--- Tom Patton P9811a

Bill said Monica went a bit far
On all fours with her privates ajar.
But her next little thing
Would have pleased any king --
She said, "Insert that fucking cigar!"
--- Al Chaplin P9901

Monica is going way too far
By using Doppler enhanced sonar.
In case it is mugged,
Her pussy is bugged,
To take a picture of the cigar.
--- Tom Patton P9811

Actions of Monica are bizarre,
But this one, I'm afraid, is subpar.
At the moment she came,
She shouted the name
Of another big fellow's cigar.
--- Tom Patton P9811

Hail Monica - woman of grace,
Put a cigar in a different place.
Then she left it in her fixture,
While Bill took her picture,
'Cause it looked like Fidel Castro's face.
--- Lee Malone

A prosecutorial zealot named Starr
Has spent 45 million thus far,
To prove the President's agenda,
Included Monica's pudenda,
And an illegal Cuban cigar.
--- Davy Tartar P9811

The pundits in D.C. are clacking
About President Clinton's off-jacking.
Is Lewinsky a whore?
Or a cigar humidor?
In her box, Bill's Coronas she's stacking.
--- Anon

He protested all "sex" abuse,
Though taught her to live in ways loose.
To flash thong to flirt
And cigar insert,
Then soiled dress with his damning juice.
--- Chris Papa

Ms Lewinsky, according to Starr,
For a phallus, used Clinton's cigar.
Now to most common folk
It seems that the bloke
Has been probing the matter too far.
--- Crazy Legs

Poor Clinton's no more top banana;
His heaven is empty of manna.
It's a downfall bizarre
But Lewinsky's cigar
Was purchased in Castro's Havana.
--- Armand Singer P9811

Monica's not at all photogenic
And she seems just a bit schizophrenic.
But although she's obscene,
Her lungs are quite clean;
Her cigars were non-carcinogenic.
--- Bob Mornington

Something about this whole mess,
(The lust, the cigar, and the dress):
It hastens the day
When sex is passe,
And fewer may need to possess.
--- H Welchel

She smoked a cigar like no male,
But I have a mind for detail.
I asked without guile
As I gave her a smile,
"You smoked, but did you inhale?'
--- Anon

You've heard of Yuri Gararin?
'Twas space he decided to star in.
But that Lewinski dame
Achieved much greater fame,
By sticking Bill Clinton's cigar in.
--- Anon

Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr
Discovered Bill Clinton's cigar.
When the band is finegled
By Monica's kagel,
It tastes better than a "Cuban" by far!
--- Anon

Why Monica, love your blue dress!
It seems a part of it is a mess!
Whose cigar were you smoking?
Fondling and stroking?
Wait, don't tell me, let me guess!
--- Anon

Slick Willy was speaking of Monica
While sipping on his gin-and-tonica.
"If you think that cigar
Was going too far,
Wait 'til you hear 'bout the harmonica.
--- Chris Clark

There's a guy in the White House who sends
Little presents to all of his "friends."
But his humidor's lid
Is nailed shut, it is said,
Until his term of orifice ends.
--- Anon

In reports from attorney Ken Starr,
There's a tale of a Clinton cigar;
That the thing was inserted
Sounds oddly perverted,
But in Washington, just about par.
--- Tim Thompson

Bill's a generous man, not by half,
When he offers cigars to his staff.
He said "Though I'm no surgeon,
I could see she's no virgin,
So I shoved it up just for a laugh."
--- Anon

Miss Lewinsky, Miss Tripp and Ken Starr
All had sex one day in a car.
Poor Bill was sure missed,
And Monica was pissed
'Cause Kenneth forgot the cigar.
--- Cinful

In the Whitehouse an incident took place;
Bill Clinton is left in disgrace.
His cock shaped cigar
Didn't burn down that far;
Left a deposit on Monica's face.
--- Anon

According to what Monica's written,
Thong undies helped Bill C. get smitten.
That dildo cigar
Is no more bizarre,
Than Charles' wannabe tampon in Britain.
--- Esther Koch

That cigar, that Bill Clinton gave her,
Was not meant as something to savor.
He thought it quite dry,
And so asked her, "Why
Don't you try to improve the flavor?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When I read the report of Ken Starr,
One thing struck me as bizarre:
When the economy's weak,
Why on earth should you seek
To moisten and so waste a cigar?
--- Bob Mornington

Lewinsky, Bill's old playmate lass,
Had a gripe that she wouldn't let pass.
"Those big brown cigars
Were loaded with tars
And left nicotine stains on my ass."
--- Betty Ann Cansano

The President fucked his girlfriend;
That cigar was really the end.
He made a big mess
On Monica's dress,
And he'll never have sex again.
--- Karen

Said Willie, "My love for cigars,
For myriad ladies boudoirs,
Of an intern quite young,
I shall not cite in my memoirs!"
--- Observer

He'll light up but won't take a puff;
To smoke it is not just enough.
He thinks it is swell;
He doesn't inhale.
"Use your cigar for much better stuff."
--- Roy White