And here's one more reason to panic:
When the time comes for the quantum mechanic,
You could be anywhere.
What a cause for dispair,
If you're microscopically organic.
--- Nawahl Razak

Physics is kind of a science
Where energy forms an alliance
With matter, you see.
(But there's no guarantee,
They're on speaking terms in your appliance).
--- Doug Harris P0605

Humpty, he sat on a wall.
Then Humpty, he had a great fall.
But all the king's horses
And men with their forces,
Couldn't render his entropy small.
--- David Morin

Force is ma times my mass,
Said the driver when starting to pass.
But from what we just learned,
He was right when he turned,
But wrong when he stepped on the gas.
--- David Morin

To find end velocity v,
From starting speed u...let me see...
With acceleration
a. t time duration...
That's v = u + a*t.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Roger Clemens was stuck on a lake,
With no wind, oars, or fuel -- big mistake!
So he thought like a rocket
And emptied his pocket,
And left all his change in his wake.
--- David Morin

They said F is ma, bar none.
What they meant sounded not as much fun.
It's dp by dt
Which just happens to be
Good old ma when g equals 1.
--- David Morin

"I quite well could have," said Foucault,
"Demonstrated all this years ago,
But a good rule of thumb
Using a pendulum
Is, don't leave it just hanging, you know."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9707

When I am to go anywhere,
I'd rather not travel by air;
I know it is quick,
But the air isn't thick,
And gravity's lurking up there.
--- Lims Unlimited

A man who'd done research in friction
Wrote limericks to improve his diction;
"These limericks," said he,
"In tribology, (study of friction)
Arose from some mental affliction."
--- Peter Blau P0207

An engineer, full of eclat,
Says fuel cells are where it is at:
"They'll leave no emissions,
And earn such commissions,
That gasoline sales will go flat."
--- Norman Storer P0211

It filled Galileo with mirth
To watch his two rocks fall to Earth.
He gladly proclaimed,
"Their rates are the same,
And quite independent of girth!"
--- Bruce Elliot PR9703

Then Newton announced in due course
His own law of gravity's force:
It goes, I declare,
As the inverse square
Of the distance from object to source.
--- Bruce Elliot PR9703

But remarkably Einstein's equation
Succeeds to describe gravitation
As spacetime that's curved
And it's this that will serve
As the planets' unique motivation.
--- Bruce Elliot PR9703

Yet the end of the story's not written;
By a new way of thinking we're smitten.
We twist and we turn,
Attempting to learn
The Superstring Theory of Witten!
--- PR9703

Isaac Newton sat under a tree
When an apple began to come free.
As he started to duck,
He said, "Don't that suck?
Or maybe it's just gravity."
--- Tom Campbell

Sir Isaac Newton's worst fear--
That GRAVITY would disappear.
That they would find a flaw
And annul the law.
Or they'd invent the first brassiere.
--- Irving Superior P9707

While Newton sat 'neath a tall tree,
He got beaned by an apple. Said he,
"I'm new at this biz,
But I'll bet that F is
m m prime over d squared, times G."
--- Michael Weinstein P0606

There once was a fly on the wall;
I wonder why didn't it fall;
Because its feet stuck,
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss thing so small.
--- Robert D Cowan PR9703

A lust for the feminine cavity,
Some chastise as willful depravity.
But surely the fact
That bodies attract
Is due not to sin, but to gravity.
--- Norm Storer P9707a

A part of what's called gravity--
Whatever's UP soon down will be.
(Excepting taxes)
Like what relaxes
When midway heterosexually.
--- Irving Superior P9707

Gravity could be a force perverse.
Entertain the thought, things could be worse.
Rather than bring things down,
Think of how we might frown,
If it caused things to merely traverse.
--- Loren Fitzhugh

If a monkey lets go of a tree,
The arrow will hit him, you see,
Because both heights are paired
By half gt squared,
From what they would be with no g.
--- David Morin

A physicist known as Raj Singh
Decided one day, on a fling;
So he lined up a chick,
But she noticed his prick
Resembled a hook and a spring!
--- Mark Levy P9707

The turbine designed by young Blair
Won prizes at every World's Fair.
It was driven by gasses
From political asses
Who continuously spouted hot air.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2453

Ms Pamela Anderson Lee
Needs no airbag in her car, you see.
In laboratory tests,
Some equivalent breasts
Survived impacts up to 5 g!
--- CeeJay

The elegant, smooth, inclined plane
Results in some Godawful pain,
For Freshmen and women
Who'd rather be swimmin'
Or doing things much more inane.
--- Mark Levy P9707

There was a young fellow from Queens
Whose perpetual motion machines
Would move forward by jerks,
For he kept in the works
The best Mexican high-jumping beans.
--- Isaac Asimov

"Those Motion Laws," grumbled Madge Mears,
"Are wrong, and it brings me to tears.
I offer this proof:
My husband, the goof,
Ain't moved off the sofa in years!"
--- Travis Brasell

What L was, he just couldn't tell.
And p? He was clueless as well.
But despite his distress,
He wrote down the right guess
For their quotient: the lever arm's l.
--- Anon

A young engineer did debase
A hardy young virgin of Thrace.
He got into her crevice
With a lever and clevis,
And a crowbar beside, just in case.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1331

A physicist ran in a race
That was held in reciprocal space.
His momentum that day
Was h times kj:
'Twas as bad as just running in place.
--- Kay R Devicci

A stone at the top of a hill
Was arrested for being too still.
Its energy potential
Was quite exponential,
But moss sapped its strength and its will.
--- Bill

This is file ull

One morning while eating my Wheaties,
I felt the earth move 'neath my feeties.
The cause for alarm
Was a long lever-arm,
At the end of which stood Archimedes.
--- David Morin et al a

Said Sir Isaac: "I've got a great notion
That force is a changer of motion.
Let's put it this way:
F equals ma;
The rest is just sweat and devotion."
--- A P French

There was an old fellow named Newton,
Whose head someone chose to drop fruit on.
Galileo first proved
That the Earth really moved.
Archimedes went out with no suit on.
--- Richard Long

Discovered by Newton's resources,
And set down in all college courses:
If the body you date
Has a motionless state,
You must rub it with external forces.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2258

Sue went wild at last year's Mardi Gras,
And committed a safe sex faux pas.
So as Newton would say
It's F = MA.
It was that F that made her a ma.
--- Bob Aldrich P0606

And Nicklas DeCusa played ball,
And wrote a treatise for all,
Regarding the sphere,
And how it did steer,
Lop-ended, when thrown from a wall.
--- Anon

For Nicklaus at first he did feel
That apples cut round like a wheel,
Would roll very fine,
And follow a line,
'Less bitten as part of a meal.
--- Anon

Bowing, he said and opined,
"A bowling ball snipped on the rind,
So missing an end,
When given to send,
Will roll not too straight, but will wind!"
--- Anon

A student of science named Parker,
In annals of fame has a marker.
In his lab it was where
He made studies on air,
And discovered that night air was darker.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2734

When it seems that you have the propensity,
To go off defining intensity,
Choose an area wide
As you wish to inscribe
On to it to find power density!
--- Andrew Yeats

There once was a lady named Claire
Whose behavior was quantized with care.
She vanished one day
When bumped in the foyer,
And appeared at the top of the stair.
--- Anon

u quantum mechanic's vacation
Has his colleagues in dire consternation.
For while studies had shown
That his speed was well known,
His position was pure speculation.
--- Anon P0606

Said a quantum mechanic named Steve,
"I find it quite hard to believe
That all of that gang
Who pursue the Big Bang,
Have anything new up their sleeve.
--- A P French

In vino there's veritas, sure
Enough and though it is a bore,
You must, if you wanta,
Learn more about quanta.
You get the glasses, I'll pour.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A potential may look quite erratic,
And its study may seem problematic,
But down near a min,
You can say with a grin,
It behaves like a simple quadratic.
--- David Morin

A nerd of a fellow named Hector
Knew physics from ATOM to VECTOR.
But he failed with each girl,
When his tool she'd unfurl
To expose a spring-loaded ejector!
--- Mark Levy P9707

There once was a mass and a spring;
To each other they firmly did cling.
But one day in the lab,
Walter gave them a jab;
At what frequency did they swing?

(omega-naught, sqrt[k/m])
--- Andrew Yeats

On a magical string hung a bob,
Hooked up with a spring to a blob.
When displaced right together,
Even without the tether,
United in motion they throb!
--- Andrew Yeats

As new concepts began to accrue
So with scarcity man was all through.
He invented the lever
And wheel -- no doubt clever --
But to God, he's in debt for the screw.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708

I'm back for one more round of giggles,
Reading how some anatomy jiggles.
Brownian motion, I fear,
Is the cause of it, here,
But 'tis cute how the molecule wriggles.
--- SPCA

For conditions that number but three,
We say, Torque is dL by dt.
But though the're all true,
I'll stick to just two;
It's CM's and fixed points for me.
--- David Morin

There was an old man who said, "Motion --
The state is of comical notion;
It would seem to connote
That a single U-boat
Could be at two spots in the ocean."
--- John St Loe Strachey

Antinuclear, this word's a double.
Number one: the cell's core is in trouble.
Number two: fighting arms
That being nuclear harms,
So our world's not converted to rubble.
--- Sheila B

Whenever we talk about piles,
It results in loud guffaws and smiles.
This ain't about pains
In those swollen veins;
I speak of atomic age piles.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Chicago nymphette, name of Gloria,
On a kick of real zany euphoria
Took into her bed
An atomic warhead--
Bits of Gloria were seen over Peoria.
--- Gar Fowler G2018

Now, those who investigate quarks
Are prone to make snotty remarks,
About those who maintain
That the atom's domain
Contains really nothing but snarks.
--- Norm Storer P0012

A student of nuclear fission
Made a bomb with official permission.
But the Earth disappeared
In the bang; it is feared
Through an error in simple addition.
--- W Bernard Wake

It's five bombs now, that India blew;
They told the rest the world "Go Screw!"
Enough of your cries
And attempts to chastise,
When so many of you have it too.
--- Puff Adder

There once was a nuclear plant
Whose containment attainment was scant.
So the folks in Chernobyl
Were suddenly mobile.
They'd go home if they could, but they can't.
--- Neal Wilgus P8607

The accident down in Chernobyl,
Despite prayers of both Primate and Pope'll
Cause crop decimations
And hideous mutations --
Litvak newborns'll look like George Gobel!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8608

McHumbug maintains the delusion,
That soon he'll be getting cold fusion.
For two weeks now he's strove
With an old pot on the stove,
To detect neutron flux in profusion.
--- Jonathan P Dowling

With large cracks in three of the piers
Of the nuclear plant, there were fears
That among those who planned
The pile was a band,
Which might be called crack engineers.
--- A N Wilkins P8803

There once was a fellow named Howard,
Whose tool, it was nuclear-powered.
While grabbing some ass,
He reached critical mass,
But think of the girl he deflowered.
--- Anon A

E equals M times C squared.
I wonder if someone erred?
I really regret it;
And still I don't get it,
Perhaps 'cause my mind is impaired.
--- Jim Weaver Collection