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In Russia a female professor There was a young lady professional A young novice priest of Lahore, Father Simon was giving his blessing Said a priest to a tart in Bay Shore, There was an old bishop named Birch A priest took a choirgirl down the sewer; A talented lady named Ferrer With a nun lay old Father McKesser, To a whore a young fellow named Elliot A handsome young priest name of Brad, As part of his pastoral duty, Her husband was killed by a freak Well, that's what they claim, but you'll note, Which not really wanting that dick But back to our priest, who discharges Now Millie sure knows a few tricks, She's begging him now for a roll, His banner, that most strange device, All that was a long time ago, You've got to the home of our Millie. With his finger, the pious priest Mickel On Father O'Seamus's cleaver, A photo of Father McJude While out for a walk in the fall A young student of music, Miss Blatt, They had to unfrock Father Lunn; To the priest a young girl of St. Claire, Asked a supplicant priest of the pontiff, (gut yontiff - happy holidays)
"You are old, Father Bill, and I'm guessing," There was a priest under the sun A lovely young bride name of Kylie The heart of O'Leary, S.J. They say in the crypt of St Luke A pretty young boy known as Kevin, Explained a young priest, Father Rex, Said the priest to a trollop named Meyer, There were two young ladies of Twickenham Said a priest to the Mother Superior It is said that young Father O'Flaherty My son, you will surely be blessed At confession the prostitute spilt There was a young lady named Brenda Said Father O'Malley to Sally: The piously proud Father Ted Of course it was me, you bit pain! He mentioned how he had to blink Each Sunday a harlot named Birch The Church decrees what's done is done, At confession a fellow named Spence "Oh Father O'Sheamus ... oh drool ..." A lecherous priest from Peru, A pious young priest from South Bend, Granny was raped at confession; A priest with facade of great piety, As he spread an old nun, Father Keating Young Father O'Malley (no fool) From the Pope to the souls in the pews, A priest raped poor twelve-year-old Alice. You made love to me first, last November, In the crypt an old priest named Ignatius There once was a pretty young maid A conservative priest from Poughkeepsie There was an old slut from the East, There was a young girl of Gibraltar An ineffable prelate named Flynn There once was a young priest named Morris
Confessed to a priest in Odessa.
She said sinful desire
Set her poor soul on fire;
She was screwed by her father confessor.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
Who went to the priest in confessional.
She confessed to her deeds;
He professed to his needs;
So they merged in a cubical sessional.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1074
Ogled nuns in the convent galore.
He climbed in and defiled one,
Who proved such a wild one,
That he stayed to defile her some more.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1127
As young Sister Marie was undressing;
Then they groped and they poked
And they humped and they stroked;
Their actions were highly distressing.
--- Cap'n Bean
"Our deportment I roundly deplore --
'Tis original sin."
Said the tart with a grin,
"But I've done it quite often before."
--- Hugh Oliver 34c
Who never for women did search.
When the girls came to mass
He would finger their ass
And he fucked all the good ones in church.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0982
His intention, I guess, was to screw her.
So erotic this lark
Down there in the dark,
The poor girl sang out "Hallelujah!"
--- Anon
Made love like an unholy terror.
She met old Father Beecher
Who was able to reach her,
And he showed that her ways were in error.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1016
Who proceeded to hug and undress her.
He said, "Be without fear
For the good Lord is here,
And I am your Father Confessor."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8212
Said, "Dear, can I stay on your belly yet?"
She said, "Sir, you have gall.
I've ten drunks in the hall,
And I still have to fuck Father Kelly yet."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1502A
Kept track of the women he'd had.
He has kept careful score
Of six thousand and four;
Always father but never a dad.
--- Tom Patton
The village priest, Father Venuti,
Would ride to the villa
Of lovely Ludmilla,
A widow, but young, full of beauty.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Wind gust as he stood on the peak.
It whipped 'round his ass,
Trapped him in a crevasse,
Just when he was taking a leak.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That's just to explain why his choat
Was hanging exposed,
But some have supposed
That the pervert was fucking a goat...
--- Tiddy Ogg
Inserted, replied with a kick,
Which lifted poor Fred
Sent him ass over head,
To finish head first in the crick.
--- Tiddy Ogg
His duties and gently massages
Young Ludmilla's shoulders,
And his passion smoulders,
And the bulge 'neath his cassock enlarges.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And to his amazement, his prick's
On show, in her hand,
A strongly veined gland:
"What's this, Joe Venuti's Blue Six?" (old Jazz Band)
--- Tiddy Ogg
Impalement upon the priest's pole.
How can he refuse?
He'll rapidly lose
Inhibition, his clothes, and control.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She bounced upon, found it so nice,
She'd not let him go
Till satisfied, so
The fellow came not twice but thrice.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And now, if you trudge throught the snow,
As shades of night fall,
You may hear the call:
"Excelsior!" then you will know...
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who jumped on the reverend's dilly.
She lives with her lad,
(The Father's his dad,)
Excelsior...ain't that name silly?
--- Tiddy Ogg
To confession did beckon Miss Schickel.
She observed and obeyed,
And she promptly got laid,
So the finger of faith turned out fickle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1060
She lowered her hot little beaver,
And prayed to the Lord,
"Make him stiff as a board.
Lord, for what I'm about to receive...ahhhh...!
--- Peter Wilkins
And the Bishop has gotten them screwed;
In the church, after Mass,
Father's flashing his ass,
While the Bishop is totally nude.
--- Cap'n Bean
The young priest said, "Let's jump that wall
And we'll each screw a nun."
but the old priest said, "Son,
Let us walk to the gate and fuck all."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1015
Went to practice the Magnificat,
At the house of a priest,
An apartment out east.
She soon found she was fucked in A-flat.
--- Al Chaplin P0302
He did what he shouldn't have done.
That horny old bastard
While thoroughly plastered
Deflowered a postulant nun.
--- Armand E Singer 769
Her sinful behavior did bare.
Her wretched confession
Made such an impression,
That he fucked her while kneeling in prayer.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1081
"Do I sin if I do what I want. If
I screw a young nun
In the easterling sun?"
His holiness murmured "Gut yontiff."
--- Anon
Said Sue, "That you need help undressing.
But an ace, still, you are
At removing my bra,
As your dick in my cavity's pressing."
--- Anon
Who'd lived his whole life with a nun.
When asked of his sins,
He stifled his grins
And announced that he had had nun.
--- Laurence Perrine P9306a
Said, "Husband, I don't rate you highly.
I have to confess
I prefer the caress
And the fucking of Father O'Reilly."
--- Peter Wilkins
Stirred for a bird in the hay.
So he side-saddled Lily,
Fair fire-freckled filly,
And rode her long-lustly all day.
--- G M Hopkins (D Phillips?)
This is file udm
Lurks a seventeenth century spook;
But it's Father O'Gough in
That ancient old coffin,
Who's giving those bones a good fook.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was raped in the garden by seven
High Anglican priests!
Those lascivious beasts!
Of such is the kingdom of heaven.
--- Anon G0543A
"My need is by no means complex;
It may not be numinous,
But it is sure luminous.
It lights up my life -- I mean sex."
--- Armand E Singer 351
"I'll restore your old vigor and fire."
On the altar he laid her,
But it sadly dismayed her;
She thanked God for the boys in the choir.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who asked an old priest to try sticken 'em.
But the priest held high mass,
Put a bib on each ass,
And proceeded with eating and lickin' 'em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1104
"May I bless your labia inferior?
With a little charism,
I'll annoint them with gism,
And absolve your most sacred posterior."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is know to do great things for Charity.
Says he, "There's no shame
For indeed, that's her name,"
Which causes them both great hilarity.
--- Murphy
Now that your sins are confessed.
But the priest that you're in
Thinks you've found a new sin.
When you're done, go wash up and get dressed!
--- CM
How her fortune on fucking was built.
Through a hole in the lattice
The old priest fucked her, gratis,
Which diminished her feelings of guilt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1092
Who went to the priest's hacienda.
This old priest was no slouch;
She had four on the couch
And was not even on the agenda.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0990
"I'd like to get pally, and dally."
That's one more new cross
On the altar rail boss;
And one virgin more to his tally.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was caught with a Nun in his bed.
He was asked to explain
Why the sheet had a stain,
He said that she made him see red.
--- SFA
I met Father Ted on the train.
We each had a drink;
I showed him the pink,
And then I made off with his brain.
--- SFA
When sighting your copious pink.
But then he'd insist
No man could resist
It's sly and provocative wink.
--- SFA
Was roused by the sermon at church.
The old priest and his choir
Would remove her attire
And proceed to conduct their research.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0983
But priests gotta stop having fun.
We pardon their sin
Of shoving it in;
The limit, however, is one.
--- Armand Singer
Described his cock-sucking offence.
Said the priest, "For your wrong
You must suck on my dong,
But I only will pay fifty cents."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1091
"Look; it isn't O'Sheamus, you fool;
That's too many O's,
But come play my hose,
After school my dear Bridget O'Toole."
--- Anon
Fucked the deacon's wife in a pew.
"I'll admit I'm not pious",
He said, "I've a bias.
I think it diviner to screw."
--- L1728P
Prayed through long sleepless nights with a friend.
Till she started to swell,
Then they saw all too well,
Prayer can't change how it goes in the end.
--- John Ciardi
It was only a five minute session.
The priest, ninety-two,
Dragged her into a pew
And left quite a lasting impression.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Admonished a maid's impropriety.
Then at length he expounded
How her life should be rounded,
And he showed her new ways for variety.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1069
Checked her heart to be sure it was beating.
Then his head he did bare
And he said a short prayer,
For he always said Grace before eating.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1045
When religious instructor at school,
Let the girls pass exams
If they showed him their mams,
While baptizing them all with his tool.
--- Peter Wilkins
The whole Church was aghast at the news.
It appears Father Ives
Has had seventeen wives.
But declines to tell congregants whose.
--- David A Brooks
She got pregnant; was so filled with malice,
That one Saturday night
While bemoaning her plight,
She slipped arsenic into his chalice.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9309
Sung in a box pew, remember?
Removing your cassock
You adjusted my hassock,
And prayed for my soul and your member!
--- G1138
Was fucking a Sister flirtatious.
He said, "I have often
Fucked nuns on a coffin,
But never has one been so spacious."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1038
Who went to the church and there prayed
Right in front of the priest,
But he leered like a beast,
And this sweet little maid was betrayed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1057
Made the error of becoming quite tipsy.
He was fired from his post
For defaming the Host,
While involved with three nuns and a gypsy.
--- G1177a
A slovenly foul-smelling beast,
And so utterly sordid
That she'd never been boarded,
Except twice by the new parish priest.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1009
Who was to be wed to Sir Walter;
But old Father McCulpit
Fucked her twice in the pulpit,
As he read her a psalm from his psalter.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1030
Kissed a plump choir boy on the chin,
Knocked over a psalter
Displayed on the altar,
And committed the ultimate sin.
--- Armand E Singer 158
Who fondled two nuns in the chorus.
Though neither could sing,
They each did a thing
That we Protestants think would just bore us.
--- Bob Birch
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