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A rabbi is now quite a hero. Holy Father, he tried to get by By the swimming hole, on a shortcut, A resolute rabbi from Miles Our rabbi (Oy veh! Kinehora!) (Kinehora - let no evil befall)
There once was a rabbi named Job, A rabbi, a nun, and a monk A rabbi, a priest, and a nun The nun we did learn was a tart; There was a young rabbi named Pete, A rabbi magician of Deever There was a young rabbi named Hadley The Rabbi Jeremiah C. Keller The Reverend Percival Monday A reverend out in Dumont The Reverend Ron says it's libel When caught, he turns red and he wheezes, "My name is the Reverend Beach; As the acolytes bared their fat rears, The Right Reverend Archibald Drew Said the Reverend Jabez McCotton, In his pulput the Reverend Goff With life's sordid pleasures you're bored? Please give up these wicked perversions (when Hell freezes - McW)
"I've always been somewhat dismayed Reverend Johnson was very devout, When the Reverend Frogdiddle Stead That self-styled preacher named Jesse, "What cute little bones in your nose; A whore and a horny young Reverend Now don't be surprised it's so clear Let us pray and let's sing us "Though Meg's dead," said Reverend Reeve, She'll watch over you, always, so "She never in life gave me head; The vicar said: "Hope for the best, As she sucked off the Reverend Brock, On TV with Reverend Bard, Reverend Johnson got slapped into jail The daughters of Reverend Muns Rev Sharpton is a public clown. The venerable Reverend O'Grady, It is a most cruel discipline There once was a boring young Reverend, The Reverend Ian Paisley Said the Reverend S. McCord Crothers, When they found the luscious Miss Wall The kinky old Reverend Mick At our Church picnic Reverend McNutt Reverend Billy said, "I hate to tell ya' The Reverend O'Shay ran away; A student enrolled in Theology With no condemnation outright, "Because its God's work that you've chosen, "Like provocative teenage celebs, "But, of course, I don't know this first hand," He went on, "Any male in my fold "These insatiable sex-starved carousers, His whisper now heightened to ranting, "And, likewise, they'll start to undress, "Then comes the part that you've dreaded, "After shamelessly humping like rabbits, What could the poor student then do? The priest then declared this vernacular; Are you tired of doin' it alone, But what if those chicks get the flu? I once met that Kate, tried to shag 'er,
He fiddled around just like Nero,
And jumped like a rabbit
Beneath a nun's habit.
And now she's a Mother Shapiro.
--- New Orleansite P9312a
Using slip knots instead of a tie.
Sister Chris said not
A word; up she got
And tried instead a Rabbi.
--- Frank Rosenbaum
Priest and rabbi spied lots of bare butt.
The priest lost his poise,
Said, "Let's go fuck those boys!"
And the rabbi replied, "Out of what?"
--- John Miller
Impressed all the local gentiles
With his power of belief
When he bent with his teeth
And circumsized all of his piles.
--- Hugh Oliver A073D
Tried to schtup a young girl named Devorah --
He leapt to attack,
When a voice from the back
Yelled, "Hey, schmuck-face! First put back the Torah!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707
Who wore nothing under his robe.
You want to know why?
Caught his dick in his fly,
And you won't find a fly on a robe.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Went into the town for a drunk;
The rabbi got laid,
The nun only prayed,
The monk ended up in a funk.
--- Cap'n Bean P0308
Decided to have some good fun.
But they're all so religious
And highly litigious --
That I fear that my story is done.
--- Paul Chernoff a
To the nunnery she did depart,
And learned on the way
It meant house of good lay.
And that is how she got her start.
--- Arden
Who circumcised youngsters quite neat.
But during the Passover
They kicked his ass over,
For selling the clippings as meat.
--- G1142
Could hoodwink the sharpest perceiver,
For the tricks he could do
With a foreskin or two,
Would surprise the devoutest believer.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1002
Whose congreants treated him badly.
A house on a poor street;
He could not make ends meet;
He left from his posts rather sadly.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Kept his underwear locked in the cellar,
'Cause slinky pink briefs
With kinky motifs,
Aren't kosher or cool on a feller.
--- Curly Hare
After giving his sermon one Sunday,
Went out to the lot,
To a well hidden spot,
Where he balled Widow Bates in her Hyundai.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208
Keeps a tropical fish in the font.
Though it always surprises
The babes he baptizes,
It seems to be just what they want.
--- Morris Bishop
To mention he's humping his Bible.
Its pages are icky,
He semem is sticky.
Like Onan, to die he is liable.
--- Ward Hardman
"My personal savior is Jesus!"
With no youth to molest,
I'll sit here, all undressed,
To await my reward when Hell freezes."
--- Ward Hardman
I honor God's ways in the breach;
It's not that I'm shameless,
I am close to blameless --
I merely don't do what I preach."
--- Armand E Singer 897
The Reverend Father McQueers
Said, unsheathing his tool:
"Rectums still make me drool,
Though I've buggered them daily for years."
--- G1153
Played poker games and won quite a few.
"It's the good Lord I thank,"
Said he at the bank,
But those cards up the sleeve helped him too.
--- Michael Weinstein P9511
"The waltz of the Devil's begotten!"
Said Jones to Miss Bly,
"Never mind the old guy,
To the pure, almost everything's rotten!"
--- Isaac Asimov
During sermons delights to jerk off.
It seems quite ironical
Something so uncanonical
Parishioners pick on to scoff!
--- G1112
Quit boasting of how much you've scored.
Renounce now such evil,
And I, Reverend Steve'll
Help you put your faith in the Lord.
--- Reverend Thrust
And seek ye some spiritual diversion.
To your local church go,
And, you never know,
You may undergo a conversion.
--- Reverend Thrust
By good women," said Reverend Wade.
"The more fervor they show
At revivals, you know,
The more eager they are to get laid."
--- A N Wilkins P8706a
But at time he let too much hang out.
Now the Reverend's deposed
For what he exposed.
(Unlike Clinton, who has too much clout)
--- John Miller 0305 A
First saw his new bride bare in bed,
He knelt at his prayers,
But his nose bumped some hairs,
So he hopped on and fucked her instead.
--- G1161
Of my barbs he is often addressee.
He's king of the spades,
But I'll see him in Hades --
The results, rest assured, will be messy.
--- William F Buckley P8606
Designer bones one would suppose.
Versace?" "Oh no,
Marks and Spencer, you know,
And the big one is Reverend Joe's."
--- Peter Wilkins
Did fuck till she thought it would never end.
When done with her cunny,
He left it all runny,
Then decided to bugger her nether end.
--- Hugh Clary
To me why the Rev Morgan's so dear.
To you little drunk gal
'Cause you love above all,
That his miracle pipe blown, supplies beer.
--- Anon
Into the mood that will bring us
Nearer to our goal,
For a far lesser role,
For that weeny thing that we call dingus.
--- Anon
"We Christians, Art, like to believe,
That body is gone,
But spirit lives on;
To give you advice, don't then grieve."
--- Anon
This is file ubm
Feel comfort, wherever you go.
She'll always be there
To answer a prayer."
But Arthur cried: "Please, heaven, no!
--- Anon
I thus took my chance now she's dead,
Laid out in her coffin
To give a mouth boffin'.
She'll come down and haunt me, I dread."
--- Anon
I know of these things and attest,
I've never met a spook,
In my time, though I've took
Such pleasures in chapels of rest."
--- Anon
Mae noticed odd pits on his cock.
She inquired, with a sniff,
"Is it clap, sir, or syph?
You should drag that pocked cock to a doc!"
--- G1903
Paw on knees was praying real hard.
Maw cried, "What a wheezer!
Put your prick in the freezer!
It's the only way 'twill ever get hard."
--- Dom P8706
For molesting some under-age quail,
Where old Bubba made haste
To give him a taste
Of an oversized tool in the tail.
--- John Miller 0303
Had perky, delectable buns;
They were ogled each week,
From the pews made of teak,
By the horny parishioners' sons.
--- Cap'n Bean P0011
Rev Jackson wears his phony frown.
Both keep belting their song,
But the grammar is wrong;
Rev's an adjective, not a noun.
--- Ernest Lefever Lib Lim
Acquired a scent quite shady.
His farts during service
Made his congreants nervous,
Though he lets them out slow, like a lady.
--- Grand Prix Lim 189 G1417A
For the Reverend to be soft on sin.
But a far sharper goad
On the Heaven-bound road
Is premature softness, once in.
--- Jim Jambor P9009
Who preached till it seemed he would never end.
His congreants, en masse,
Got a pain in the ass,
And prayed, for relief of their nether end.
--- L1525A
Is crooked, dishonest and weasily.
He does, I will wager,
Suck the dick of John Major,
Which is, I'd imagine, quite measly.
--- Gene Brady
My very dear sisters and brothers;
We are met, are we not,
To hear what I forgot
To tell Crothers to tell to the others.
--- Conrad Aiken
Being raped in the drafty church hall,
The Rt. Reverend Vance
Shot off twice in his pants,
And two vestrymen felt their balls crawl!
--- G1172
Used to tie the bell rope to his dick.
At the pealing of eight,
He would ejaculate
And by nine he'd be physically sick.
--- Paul Graham
Was fetching charcoal from the hut,
When well-rounded Mabel
Bent over the table.
"Holy Moly!" McNutt said, "NICE BUTT!"
--- Michael Wenstein P0208
But our 'outreach' is destined for failure.
Yes, by God, I'm appalled!
One man asked, when he called,
'Which Sunday's your next Saturnalia?'"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707
He left town on this very day.
He has indigestion
That comes from the question:
"Who told my wife that I was gay?"
--- Anon
Confessed to his priest an apology:
"I'm distracted by lasses
With nice tits and asses,
And thoughts of applied gynecology."
--- Alex Heydon
The pastor considered his plight.
With his thoughtfulness done,
He said, "Listen, my son,
A few words may help provide some light."
--- Alex Heydon
Doesn't mean that your testes are frozen.
I too, am beguiled
And morally trialed,
By temptations that come by the dozen."
--- Alex Heydon
They'll entangle you fast in their webs.
In a manner coquettish,
They'll prey on your fetish,
Until your resolve finally ebbs."
--- Alex Heydon
The priest added, "So please understand,
I get these impressions
From hearing confessions,"
He said with a mild reprimand.
--- Alex Heydon
Could be ravaged by harlots so bold,
They'd make impolite glances,
Immoral advances.
They won't settle for 'No'...so I'm told!"
--- Alex Heydon
Set upon you like bone-hungry Bowzers.
Less the patience of Job,
They will strip off your robe,
My mistake!...What I meant was your trousers."
--- Alex Heydon
Like a rhythmic Gregorian chanting.
With sweat on his face,
He stared into space
And his breathing was laboured with panting.
--- Alex Heydon
So you try any ruse you can guess.
Then before you can flee,
They are naked, All three!
You are forced to "at last", acquiesce."
--- Alex Heydon
When the strumpets demand to be bedded.
You rally your strength
And pump them, at length,
The brunette, then the blond, then the redhead."
--- Alex Heydon
All three climb back into their habits,
Saying, "Breakfast can wait.
We don't want to be late,
For our morning retreat with the abbots."
--- Alex Heydon
His repentance considered anew.
Was he in the wrong place?
Could he still attain grace,
If the priest's bawdy tales were all true?
--- Alex Heydon
"Your prospects for sex are spectacular.
Don't get lead astray
By the girls that are lay.
Study hard, and then lay the non-secular".
--- Alex Heydon
And about to reap what you've sown?
Visit John, if you like
(It's just a short hike)
With samples of your best home-grown.
--- Anon
I know not, John, neither do you,
How that we could stand,
If kissing them's banned,
I really don't know what we'd do.
--- Anon
And off to the bed tried to drag 'er.
Alas lost my way,
And called it a day;
That's the problem with such double-baggers.
--- Anon
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