MORE
Yes, Lehrer created a fuss Tom's leanings were far left of center; As I was about to entwine Although I'm a Tom Lehrer fan, I want to try hunting right now, When Tom Lehrer wrote "Vatican Rag", A Boston sub-deb named Brooks, Through the cafes of Paris they'd dash, Ann Nicole some skiing runs ran, Now Anna Nicole's case extreme; A devil named Anton LaVey The trouble with Betty Friedan Even one as white as me, Shiela said of old bhagwan Sheree, Said Brant to his wife and young daughters, (Who is Brant - McW))
There was a young man from Eurasia, There was a young man from East Asia, Said a shepherd of central Eurasia, (40's debutante, Life Magazine, etc.)
We've numerous carnival freaks A dog-faced boy, Jo-Jo, he is. And yes, we've got one or two bitches So saunter in quickly, please do, There once was a dame, Carrie Nation, Miss Parker opined with great wit; Doctor Barnard exchanged the first hearts, Edward Jenner, the Gloucestershire doctor, To Elizabeth Arden you flee! They said she was just a cruel tease, Despite Betty Friedan's fierce cry, The observant philosopher, Black, An explorer of note once did hunt To Miss Stein, this philosopher slick As Gloria Leonard would say, (She said diff between porn and erotic was lighting - McW)
Women's lib Steinem, Glorious Gloria! "Your hat's festooned in back," I told Nellis, Said the wise Henry David Thoreau, Mr Kissinger kisses the misses, According to H. D. Thoreau, Some thought Hugh Hefner HERETIC, Jackie Mason makes many a crack, (American standup comedian)
Looky there: it's old Jimmy, ajog! (Jim Fixx - author of jogging book)
Pray tell me if you should know Salk thought it might be quite keen Be the match made in Heaven or Hell, Sipping a glass of fine port, A Back Bay attorney named Kyle, That Flynn Air Force pilot named Kelly, That curvaceous pilot named Flinn, There once was a Madame called Tussaud, Martha Stewart's insisting: "Did not Since the government failed to address Martha told her broker by phone: Enjoying a trip on Titanic, Now Mrs. Houdini won't dare To Mrs. Houdini -- "My Dear: I went to see Dr. Dallas "I'm fearful of Christmas," said Howard Pamela Lee looks real nice! (Britney Spears also by Observer)
Things aren't always Hunky Dory, Paul Marks is just one of those pricks (contributor to the Libertarian Allianace)
Paul Simon once said to his pal, Women's lib hates you, Phyllis Schafly. (awfully is the operative word - McW)
At the annual porn star convention, Ralph Waldo, how naive you are! A "man of the moment" is Reagan; That cocksucking fag Richard Simmons, Scott Adams shows his expertise
And the way that he did it was thus:
Dr. Werner von Braun
Was the one he took on;
Werner's lawyers did much more than cuss.
--- John Miller
An area I seldom enter.
But I have to admire
His clever satire,
And the verse of which he was inventor.
--- John Miller
With a girl I found oh-so-divine,
His song, "Be Prepared"
Most likely then spared
The world from kids, both hers and mine.
--- John Miller
He didn't write limericks, man.
And neither do you,
So go off and screw
That harpy who wed your old man.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But I'm quite a bit tipsy somehow.
So being the bearer
Of Songs By Tom Lehrer,
I'll shoot hunters, and wardens, and cow
--- Anon
He wern't spoofing some ancient hag.
Though I must confess
When the Pope wears his dress,
My confidence in HAGIARCHY starts to sag.
--- Norm Brust
Whose hobby was reading sex books.
She married a Cabot
Who looked like a rabbit,
And deftly lived up to his looks.
--- Anon
The couple had lots of panache.
When Gertrude was poke-less,
Miss Alice B. Tolklas
Would offer Miss Stein her mustache.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0104
But when she fell down on her can,
The SITZMARK impression
Was such a dimension,
A large avalanche then began.
--- Chris Papa
She answered a sick old man's dream.
To her king-sized bust,
He left troubled trust,
With marriage judged by Court Supreme.
--- Chris Papa
Was accustomed to having his way.
As he once said to Satan
"This place is no Peyton,
But I've managed to make it all pay."
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Is she misses the whole point of man.
When God made the penis
He was thinking of Venus;
Betty thinks of a trip to the can.
--- P8112A
Felt sadness, but no glee,
At the sad death
Of the Widow X.
Goodbye to Mrs Shabazz...Betty.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"His pecker hangs down to his knee.
With the girls he's a card,
Only time it gets hard
Is when the old fart has to pee."
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807
"We suffered for weeks in cramped quarters!
Although I'm no sook, (stupid, cowardly person)
I'm glad that it took
Just two days to get past the reporters.
--- David Miller
Who toasted his balls in a brazier,
Till they grew quite as hot (Till they grew so tough)
As the the glamorous twat, (As to scuff the tough muff)
Of Miss Brenda Diana Duff Frazier.
--- L1418
The size of whose cock would amaze ya'.
It was wrinkled and rough
And just fit the muff
Of Brenda Diana Duff-Frazier
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As he warmed his hands at his brazier,
"I'd much rather sleep
With one of my sheep,
Than with Brenda Diana Duff Frazier."
--- William K Alsop Jr
Like midgets, fat ladies, and geeks,
But the worst one, by far,
Weird, outre', and bizarre,
Is one that we've had several weeks.
--- John Dohner P8605
The best thing to enter show biz.
He can lay in the halls
And lick both his balls,
Apart or together -- Gee Whiz!
--- John Dohner P8605
(The kind who will keep you in stitches)
For they thing, for a drink,
You will get out your dink
And lay them in meadows and ditches.
--- John Dohner P8605
And catch this review ere it's through,
Then perhaps you'll believe
What we have up our sleeve
Is clever, enthralling -- and new!
--- John Dohner P8605
Who suffered constant menstruation.
She asked, "Why can't I
(Who will never be 'dry')
With a hatchet, cut off men's libations?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That if owners of yoni and tit,
At a frat house weekend
Were laid end to end,
It wouldn't surprise her a bit.
--- Larry Davis P9004
Made of genuine cardiac parts.
When a girl named Denise
Gave her heart, post-decease,
To one Lou, till the flu worked it's arts.
--- Anon
With a bit of the pox that had pocked her,
Gave a lassie to lad
The cow pox that she had
And so small pox, immunity's locked door.
--- Anon
She's the best, you can take it from me.
From body massage
To cosmetic triage,
No man treats you better than she!
--- Annie Jay
When the foreplay she'd frequently freeze.
"I'm Emily Post!
I'll not let you coast!
No blow-job until you say please!"
--- TuttaGioia
There are some rights we men must deny.
Think you'll allow, sirs,
That feminine trousers,
Need not be equipped with a fly.
--- Anon
Stuck his prick in Miss Stein from the back.
Then he fucked her in front
And he said of her cunt,
That a crack is a crack is a crack.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0478
Through the masses of hair out in front
Of Miss Stein's crotch hirsute,
And observed, so astute
That a cunt is a cunt is a cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0477
As a fucker was far, far too quick,
So his pecker she sucked
And she said, "I deduct
That a prick is a prick is a prick."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0479
The lighting's the optimum way
To contrast the erotic
With porno and its clique,
Yet that subject's totally gray.
--- Michael Polo P9004
This is file rlm
Floating around in phantasmagoria.
Since we now have the "pill",
Lib is over the hill.
It will never play in Peoria.
--- Edward C Wolfert P8112
"I don't have a festoon and I'm jealous."
The reply that I heard,
To the point, seemed absurd,
"That thing's known as a Havelock, Ellis."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0209
"One must watch where one's money doth go.
Be prudent, be frugal,
Heed not Gotham's bugle.
Though, for me, it's the Club Med-a-Go-Go."
--- Arthur Deex P0204
And smiles, "What a blissful life this is!"
But a loathsome disease
Puts an end to his ease:
Now Kissinger misses the kisses.
--- Laurence Perrine P8512
You should get into Nature's sweet flow,
And live in the woods,
Spurn luxury goods --
And eat only fast foods, to-go.
--- Norm Storer P9812
When he pumped his bunny esthetic,
But he had last laugh,
Possessing a staff
That kept the old man energetic.
--- Chris Papa
And he's rude when he jokes and talks back.
His wit is so acid;
Would we want him more placid?
Will life ever basify Jack?
--- Sheila B
All the neighbors are watching, agog.
There he goes, out the gate,
Down the street, and no, wait!
Mr Fixx has dropped dead as a log.
--- Anon
The name of the man, friend or foe,
Believer or scoffer,
Who last saw Jimmy Hoffa.
The answer's, of course, Jacques Costeau.
--- Arthur Deex P8607
To stop polio, which he had seen.
With flasks and with vials,
Through many odd trials,
He discovered a brand new vaccine!
--- Zeno
Who could date a renowned ne'er-do-well?
But a famous no-use?
Some one please introduce
Kato Kaylin to Monica L!
--- Prof M-G
While the butler swept up the ort,
He told raucous tales
Of gales, whales and frails.
He was an Ern'st Hemingway sort.
--- Jim Jambor P9101
Kept a very elaborate file,
On the sexual habits
Of Lowells and Cabots,
And found them surprising vile.
--- Isaac Asimov
Was playing nude, belly to belly,
With a married guy,
Who was sort of sly.
Now the whole sordid tale's on the telly.
--- Frank Spectre
When they charged her with living in sin,
Said "Honey, the brass
Say I must toss your ass;
But oh, what the hell, put it in!"
--- Joe Long
Who loved the grond folk in 'Who's Who' so,
That she made them in wax,
Both their front and their backs,
And she asked no permission to do so.
--- C Inge (Bibby)
Ever fudge over stocks that I'd got."
Said she, "Honorable judge,
It ain't my kind of fudge.
And the best kind of stock's in a pot!"
--- Anon
Enron males theft of billions, no less,
Why should Martha do time
For a much smaller crime...
'Cause she's female, and stands for success?
--- Anon
Just dump all my shares of Imclone.
This great stroke of luck
Saved her more than a buck.
Next day, the price dropped like a stone.
--- Frank Petersohn
And disdaining the general panic,
Molly Brown, the unsinkable,
Ignored the unthinkable,
And successfully crossed the Atlantic.
--- K J Jennisng TP9804
To sit very long in one chair.
She shifts and she sings
The eeriest things,
But mostly the song OVER THERE.
--- Irving Superior P8710
I told you, I'd somehow appear.
I told you, when able,
I'd seance your table,
So sit over there, Dear, I'm HERE!"
--- Irving Superior P8710
To check on the state of my phallus.
"Just a quick question, Doc.
If this Dick Trickle won't stop,
Will I end up with a Rusty Wallace?"
--- Gearhart TP9807
"And the feeling has me overpowered."
"I see," siad his shrink,
"Well, the reason I think
Is perhaps because you're a Noel Coward."
--- Bob Biandomenico P8801
She's been in my dreams once or twice!
She I'd never marry,
'Cause that's just too scary;
Don't want the whole pie, just a slice!
--- Jumping Jack
Once you've attained fame and glory.
Paparazzi
Are so gutsey,
For a nice juicy small little story.
--- Nawahl
Who would have us do Clintonesque tricks.
Just because he's a Brit,
He thinks he has wit,
And the rest of the world is all hicks.
--- Anon
Wrap me up in aluminum, Hal.
Yes, wrap me in foil...
(Be careful! I'll spoil!)
Very good. Now you can call me Al.
--- Rory Ewins Q
You're so sexy and (Garbo'd say) loffly.
You stirred up the backlash
That settles their hash.
We grateful to you. Thanks awfully.
--- Edward C Wolfert P8112
Each johnson was brought to ascension, (penis)
And the gush of the flood
One could flush from his pud,
Made many a bone of contention.
--- Hugh Clary
From the truth of the matter, how far!
Accept my advisement,
Without advertisement,
You won't sell a five-cent cigar.
--- Laurence Perrine P9208
Another is "cosmical" Sagan;
But the former is antic,
The latter pendantic --
May the moment soon pass, a new Begin!
--- Kathleen A Martin P8302
Sells diets to overgrowed wimmens.
But the diet he wants
Is his buns on a schvanze,
Like a hot dog with all of the trimmins.
--- Anon
By portraying our lives with such ease;
For the bright engineer
Knows mismanagement by fear,
Breeds the demotivation disease.
--- Virge
MORE