A fagged fornicator named Flynn
Said, "Concerning my yearning to sin:
When my doodad goes dead,
I just use the old head,
And work off the bitch with my chin!"
--- G0849

We met at the airport in France,
And it seemed such a perfect romance.
But now I'm Pierre's bride,
He just snores by my side,
And won't even take off his pants!
--- G0074

'Twas Keats who quipped, "O, my begotten,
When 'Bama boys lick in the twatten
Of Mississip wenches,
Whose pussies are trenches
Of microbes, their teeth'll be rotten."
--- Anon

There was a wine taster named Trilling,
Who thought he knew all about swilling.
With his tongue up the ass
Of a bright girl in class,
He murmured, "This vintage is thrilling!"
--- G0914

If Pamela Anderson Lee
Should avail herself to me,
I'd flip a dime
To see if first time
I'd get head or tail, you see.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It's loudly the praises are sung,
For guy's who rate in under hung.
If willy's a dinky
Pint-size little pinky,
Just supply a nice dexterous tongue.
--- Anon

Today it is rainy and pissy
And I'm here to tell you now, Missy,
I'd sure like to stay
Snug in your bed all day,
While my tongue gave your hole a wet kissy.
--- Jon Gearhart

From men, nature brings out the sucker.
When that mighty hole starts to pucker,
Please promise me, Jon,
What when you get on,
You won't be forgetting to fuck her.
--- SFA

Said sneering Mohammed el-Din:
"Only infidel dogs put it in.
Back home in Arabia
We nibble the labia
Till the juice dribbles off of our chin."
--- G0844

I'm counting the minutes to lunch
'Cause then my time card I can punch,
And go have a nooner
with Carol the crooner,
Who sings in full voice as I munch.
--- Gearhart

That old Aussie hasher named Bruce,
Had a dick that was really no use,
But in bed with his Shiela,
With his fingers he'd feel her,
And his tongue would then lap up the juice.
--- Anon

An eater of pussy was Durham;
His wife had a mind she would cure him.
She spread limburger cheese
On her pussy and knees,
And she figured that this would deter him.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1256

But he was a man of great pride;
He took all of this in good stride.
Since the flavor was right,
He ate her that night,
With crackers and beer by his side.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1257

The red-headed whore made a splash
With the PANACHE that grew over her gash.
This curly red tuft
Often got muffed
By a client with more dash than cash.
--- Norm Brust

She knocked on my door and said, "Pete;
I'm a virgin and never had meat."
So I said, "That's a fact?
Let me check you're intact
With my fingers - why yes, you're complete."
--- Anon

"Oh screw me!" she said as she clung
To my thighs. I said, "No, you're too young.
But I guess you can play
With my weapon today,
While I see to your clit with my tongue."
--- Anon

She squealed with delight and stripped off,
And though tempted to give her a boff,
I resisted, but led
Her upstairs to give head;
'Til we heard a discreet little cough.
--- Anon

And in came her mother Michelle in
A rage and said, "Hey, what the hell in
The world are you doin';
Doreen? Are you screwin'?"
"No mom, I'm just suckin' Pete's swellin'...
--- Anon

...And he's merely divin' my muff."
"Oh I see", said Michelle, "Fair enough;
But I don't want to catch
Him a-plumbin' your snatch;
I'll have none of that underage stuff."
--- Anon

Girlfriends, wherever you meet 'em,
Want you to hold doors and to seat 'em.
Think me not crass,
But like that huge bass,
You don't know should you mount 'em or eat 'em.
--- Anon

According to fisherman Jack,
For girls and fish use the same tack:
On catching that treasure,
Then give them a measure.
If they aren't up to par, throw 'em back.
--- Anon

A simple young girl was beguiled
By suitors who every night dialed.
And they smiled with delight,
When they kissed her good-night,
But the lips that they kissed never smiled.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0788

They met at the seniors convention;
He said, "My dear, you are perfection.
To gain your attention,
I'd trade half my pension,
If I only could get an erection."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311

She said, "We are no longer young;
Our love songs were long ago sung.
Your phrase caught my attention;
You can gain my affection,
By using your fine silver tongue."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311

I can't find my ovary baster;
It's loaned to a foreign food taster.
But just settle back
With la pussy slack,
I promise you that I won't waste 'er.
--- Anon

Reminds me of when I was young,
It took such a long time to bung
My member inside
A mute of a bride,
I'd give her the use of my tongue.
--- Anon

The ugly old girl friend of Keith
Was blessed with a poor set of teeth.
But Keith didn't care
For her pussy had hair,
And mostly he kissed underneath.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0842

A Japanese girl cooked some squid
And made a fine meal for young Sid.
She said no one could beat it
And she begged him to eat it,
So he got on his knees and he did.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1296

Mellisa sounds like she's ripe for pickin';
Now her nethers resemble cold chickin'.
For in time that smooth muff
Will turn something quite rough,
So now is the time to start lickin'.
--- Anon

There once was a Jenny from Luxor
Who said to her sheik, "Don't let's fuck, sir!
My cave is so large
It would swallow your barge--
Dive in for an old-fashioned suck, sir!"
--- G0875

All women should stay in their place,
And be feminine in frills and lace;
"And where," they will say,
"Is our place to stay?"
The answer is: "Here...on my face!"
--- Anon

Philatelical hobbies, I'd pick 'em
Over other endeavors with stickum.
But the only thing better
For collecting is wetter;
And with both, it's okay if you lick 'em.
--- Hugh Clary

A certain young lecher named Neal
Was always prepared for a feel.
And if given the chance
To get in her pants,
He would buckle right down to a meal.

(a rebuttal to Neal Wilgus)
--- Isaac Asimov P8211

This is file rfl

My life's been the quest for a rug;
Somewhere I'll be happy and snug.
A burning desire
To stand and admire,
The hole in the rug that I dug.
--- Anon

There once was a jolly young satyr
Who when seeing a lass, would then mate her.
But when one grew with child,
His ardor grew mild,
And the next one he saw, well, he ate her.
--- G0904

It matters much more if your tongue
Is so nicely thick and well hung.
Better than fuck
When on clit you suck,
And then your praises will be sung.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A bright young attorney named Chase,
Defended a girl on the case.
He said, "You've no money,
But if we win, Honey,
I'd like you to sit on my face."
--- David Miller

Tomorrow's almost over dear,
I'm sorry that you're not still here.
I worked hard today,
Was ready to play,
And on your face rest my cute rear.
--- Anon

There was a sad fellow named Young
Said, "All my damn life I've been stung.
I was gypped in the shipment
Of sexual equipment
And all I can use is my tongue..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 214

There was an old party of Wokingham,
And his whores said he always was poking 'em.
But all he could do
Was to tongue-fuck a few,
And sniff at his fingers while stroking 'em.

(Published 1870)
--- L0444

A thrice-married virgin from Sutton
Said, "My cherry is bright as a button.
The Astronomer watched it,
The painter just blotched it,
And my husband just now is a glutton.
--- Hugh Clary

While Cecilia, called Cess, will undress,
She may then, says her boyfriend, regress;
And if asked what he'll do
When she'd nude but won't screw,
"I'm successful", he grins, "sucking Cess"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

I once met this three-breasted whore;
I sucked till all three were sore.
Then I went south,
Got her off with my mouth,
Then I sucked on her titties some more!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young fellow named Lunt
Whose girl had no teeth, out in front.
He said, "I don't miss 'em,
Her lips, I don't kiss 'em,
For mostly I'm kissing her cunt."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0851

There once was a man named Pete
Girls laughed when he showed them his meat.
But the joke was undone
When he unfurled his tongue,
And their pussies they begged him to eat.
--- Justin Alexander

At eighteen, all I dipped was my pickel
But as I approach the double nickel,
I find that my tongue
And one healthy lung
Satisfy more ladies than slap and tickle.
--- Chinook

Come swim this way, little fishie
And show me the delights of your kissie.
Young boys I eschew
They kiss and not chew.
Plus I find aged salmon quite dishy.
--- Elsbeth

All this talk of salmon raises fears;
Makes me wonder my choice of careers.
But I show you my pucker
Then lick you like Smucker's;
Just please don't pull hard on my ears.
--- Chinook

Chinooky, put your fears to rest;
Sixty-nine should pass you your test.
Together we'll see
Who is first to their knees,
And then who's the first to protest.
--- Elsbeth

My Dear, come here where it's bushy.
'Fore it's over, you'll be noisy and gushy.
Now if you'll just spread
Over this fresh-dug redd,
We'll get busy and fill you with sushi.
--- Chinook

Chinooky, I'm glad to be had,
'Cause I' ready with thoughts that are bad.
New toys for our play,
Silk ropes -- can you stay?
I'll be gentle until you're unclad.
--- Elsbeth

Tim took out his stiffy to stuff it
Up the welcoming cunt of Miss Muffet.
But try as he might,
Her cunt was too tight,
So Tim only managed to muff it.
--- Michael Horgan

Said a candid young lady from York,
To a Frenchman who gnawed at her fork:
"My cunt is dripping,
So stop with your sipping,
And use your cock as a cork!"
--- G0924

A strange race of people are Dokks;
In the mountains they live with their flocks.
And what seems most perplexing
Is their method of sexing --
Instead of their tongues they use cocks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0681A

And a flash of your flushed erect nips,
Is doing strange things to my hips.
My god! Je t'adore;
I want to explore
Your body with my tongue and lips.
--- Anon

I once had a woman named Fricker,
Who liked to have sex on the wicker
Furniture. When
We screwed in her den,
And on the table, I'd lick her.
--- Mike M TP9804

While sitting there, twiddling his thumbs,
Waiting for his woman to come.
His dick couldn't do it,
So he finally said "Screw it!"
And he got her off with his tongue.
--- Stephen Ross

A fiesty young girl name Peach,
Had her boyfriend's head at her breech.
But instead of a fuck,
He kept giving her suck,
"You're no lover, my dear, you're a leech!"
--- Wes

Where is that nice man who just said
He would love to just bury his head
'Tween my smooth warm thighs,
That are spread open wide,
'Cause I am attached to his bed.
--- Azul

"I'd like you to kiss me," she said.
"Between my toes, please bend your head.
Not there, Oh no no!
It tickles me so.
Between the two big ones, instead!"
--- Larry Wilde

On a trip, I was tempted to cheat,
But I knew I must be quite discreet.
I found "Kiss and Tell,"
A five-dollar motel;
As I licked, she said, "Bon appetit!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I just had a quite obscene thought,
And it's really getting me hot.
The snow has now melted;
Prepared to be pelted
By kisses and licks on your twat.
--- Jon Gearhart

You see, Jon, your brain's not so lame;
There's always a flickering flame.
It gets you in the mood
To get yourself screwed,
So come over and bring the champagne.
--- Carol

You're still such a fine looking model;
I'm here and I'm passing the bottle.
And as we get stinky
From having a drinky,
I'll slip my tongue deep up you're twat hole.
--- Jon Gearhart

She got in a sexual fever,
And asked me to gobble her beaver.
I said: "If I must,
To settle your lust,
If first you've not let your retriever."
--- Anon

The supersize model, Kate Krupp,
Blond hair, six feet two and D cup,
Received oral sex
From a midget named Rex;
It was done with them both standing up.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

While touring Australia, Miss Widney,
Met a sailor who kissed her in Sydney;
A sad sort of blunder,
Those kisses "Down Under,"
She found caused a cyst in her kidney.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0506