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A girl who barely had tits,
Got by by just using her wits.
The bras she had gotten,
She filled up with cotton
And for nipples, she used cherry pits.
--- Sylvia Honig

"Are those bountiful mammaries real?"
"Of course," she said, "Give them a feel!"
He did and discovered
Each titty was blubbered
With five pound of ground beef and veal!
--- Writerman

A penniless co-ed named Horning
Was forced into video porning.
Her promotion -- while bare --
Of her silicone ware
Soon earned her a grant from Dow Corning.
--- Alex Heydon P0409

A large-breasted girl danced the waltz,
While I sat and enjoyed several malts.
My eyes were a-popping,
Till her boobs started dropping;
It turns out her large breasts were false.
--- Travis Brasell

A myopic, but amorous rake
Found his paramour's bodice was fake.
He peered at her face,
Then exclaimed, "In that case,
I have made a most dreadful mistake."
--- Beelzebub

Whilst swimming at length in the lake,
The English girl cried "Heavens sake!
I've lost my swimsuit!
It's coiled round my foot!
They'll all see that my tits are fake!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A young girl who barely had tits,
Just nipples no bigger than zits,
Got really flat-busted
'Cause the falsies she trusted,
Fell out, and then she had fits.
--- Sylvia Honig

Now look here, I'm a reasonable chap;
I'd have sat through a weeks' worth of yap,
Just to feel those tits...ahhhhh.
But when I undid her bra,
Her big boobs fell off in my lap!
--- Anon

A stripper with fiberglass tits
Said, "The sure addle customer's wits,
But I needed a pair
For the pair I had there
Were nothing but itty tit bits.
--- Grand Prix Lim 362 P9801

There was a young lady of Skye,
With a shape like a capital "I".
She said, "It's too bad!
But then, I can pad,"
Which shows you that figures can lie.
--- Ethel W Mumford P8311

In grandmother's day, in the waltz,
You could tell if girls' bosoms were false.
Nowadays top and bottom
Are padded with cotton,
With foam-rubber falsies for faults.
--- G2230

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was nothing but bones except skin.
So she wore a false bust,
In the likewise false trust
That she looked like a lady of sin.
--- W S Baring-Gold

Of his lady, he was quite enchanted;
Of her good points, he frequently ranted.
But of many God's gifts,
Were her wonderful tits,
But really, they were only implanted.
--- Anon

Breast implants will one day, I hope,
Be natural, real in their scope;
Fake boobs now, by far,
Look like they both are
Two halves of a hard cantaloupe.
--- Travis

Madonna's great bosom expanse
Caused bulging in new hubby's pants.
Removing her bra,
He stood there in awe
Of her silly cone breast implants.
--- Gary Hallock

"You like them?" said slutty Madonna,
"Then take a test drive if you wanna."
The neighbors heard groans
As he knocked over cones,
A course not unlike a gymkhana.
--- Gary Hallock

The boobs on Mae Blount were a sight,
And the way they stuck out was a fright.
All the boys said, "Ho, Ho!
But the boys didn't know
She put her tits in the drawer at night.
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807 a

Leanne hadn't driven too far,
When her bosoms popped out of her bra.
They wobbled, pulsated;
Then Whoosh! they inflated,
Like air-bags inside of her car.
--- Anon

Leanne had the silicone op (operation)
And flew to Miami by hop.
On route they inflated;
The op she then hated;
Because both the damn things went POP!
--- Anon

There was a young man named Fritz,
Who had a preoccupation with tits.
What he thought was firm fullsome
Turned out to be bullsome.
Said Fritz, "Ain't it the shits!"
--- Anon

I once met a woman abroad,
Who had a magnificent bod.
But her perfect chest
Left me quite distressed
When I learned it was just a facade.
--- Observer

I was bored with the size of my tits,
So I thought I'd just add a few bits.
Though they're bigger, it's true,
And my nipples turned blue,
They sure take your mind off my zits.
--- Roberta J Stewart

Let's celebrate the day of your breasts,
On which my drooling face can rest.
As I admire your two nipples,
Just pass me the Ripple,
To toast the "A" to "C" cup, no less.
--- Child of the Universe

While I, with my usual enthusiasm,
Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
She explained, "They are flat,
But think nothing of that--
You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm.
--- L0159

So small is her bosom, Miss Morgan,
When using her mid-body organ,
With naught there for pawing,
Will let them start gnawing
Her falsie constructed of sorghum.
--- Irving Superior P8303

It grieved poor Matilda like heck to be
Receiving a double mastectomy.
She fitted a pair
Of wood tits so rare,
But for woodworm, she has to inspectomy.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Cilla,
Who thought that nothing would fill 'er;
To make herself plumper,
She stuffed up her jumper
Two melons wrapped up in a pillow.
--- Anon

Do you know why Joe seems so furious?
He'd been treated in a manner injurious.
He was set for a lark
With a girl in the dark,
And then found her breastworks were spurious.
--- Isaac Asimov

Today's women are close to perfection;
Some claim there's a Darwin connection.
Bosom volume increased
Two sizes at least;
It's prosthetics, not natural selection.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508

Oh! The truth makes us titwatchers groan,
For that lush-breasted gal in Athlone,
Whose bust looked unmatchable
But both proved detatchable;
The dear had no teats of her own.
--- G0349

Some gals have silicone glands
Which feel mighty good in one's hands.
With contours real swell,
And so hard to tell,
They won't fill the baby's demands.
--- Chris Papa

Now girlies, with bust small or big'll,
When topless, give fellow a giggle.
But those siliconey
Are something quite phoney.
They don't have the same kind of jiggle.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Some ladies have melon-sized titties;
And some more like grapes--that's a pity;
But those made of plastic
As less than fantastic,
And hang wrong, and aren't very pretty.
--- SFA

This is file pem

This fashion of self mutilation
Is something that's gripping the nation.
If I got my mitts
On silicone tits,
They'd surely deflate my inflation.
--- SFA

I'd have to be down on my luck
Before plastic boobs would I suck.
And no phallic rips
Between botox lips;
Those buggers could nip what I tuck.
--- SFA

If, when gasping for breath in the Bay,
I were reached by Pamela A.,
I'd be scared out my wits
By those oversized tits--
But as bouyancy aids, they're okay.
--- Jester Jon

The falsies that once enhanced Hester
Were swiped by a midnight molester.
"Where they are," we wonder
And their loss has stunned her,
For our Hester is now a flat-chester...
--- Grand Prix Lim 897

She padded her expenses without fear;
Her boss cared not; he liked her near.
'Till one night by chance
While seeking romance,
He found she did the same to her brassiere
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209

There was a young woman named Frances,
Who decided to better her chances,
By cleverly adding
Appropriate padding,
To enlarge all her protuberances.
--- Isaac Asimov

Our gal Sal thinks her boobs are fantastic
And her fanny an eye-catching classic.
But the cleavage of Sally
Is a silicone valley,
And her gluteus maximus, plastic.
--- William N Nesbit P0001

One gal that I knew felt bereft,
When her massive tits with much heft,
Fell down to the floor,
Then rolled out the door,
And she with a flat chest was left.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Clair,
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn and begin losing air.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerA

While snorkeling under the seas,
I spotted what seemed to be knees
With nipples. But lo;
It was only young Jo-
sephine's silicone 44 D's.
--- Peter Wilkins

...detached from the front of her chest
And bouncing around on the crest
Of the waves in the ocean,
In vertical motion...
No wonder she looked so depressed.
--- Peter Wilkins

Ms Pamela Anderson Lee
Is a babe who's as big as can be.
Her silicone valley
Is where I would dally,
If I had a home by the sea.
--- CeeJay

Don't ask me to tell you again
How I manage to get all these men:
Using powder and paint,
I become what I ain't-
And the silicone makes me a Ten!
--- Norm Storer P0012

I bought a fine gift for sweet Sally,
The slut that I boff in the alley.
Her DD tits enfold
My small locket of gold;
It lays there in silicone valley.
--- Anon

There once was a sailor named Rock
Who was fooled by a girl on the dock.
She misled the old tar
With socks in her bra,
But he had a sock in his jock.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209

A pert little lady, Leoni,
Had tits so incredibly phony,
If she jiggled too often,
They started to soften,
Like two scoops of fresh mascarpone.
--- Mr E

A large-breasted girl danced the waltz,
While I sat and enjoyed sev'ral malts.
My eyes were a poppin'
'Til boobs started droppin'
It turns out her large breasts were false!
--- Anon

The neighbor, a flirt name of Burt,
Called out, "Hey, Babe! Your boobs are pert!"
She flipped him the bird
And said, "Ain't you heard?
There's falsies stuffed under my shirt!"
--- Anon

A pimple-tit floosie from Groton
Stuffed both of her boobies with cotton;
Quite awesome at first,
Until the cloth burst:
The silk in her bra was plumb rotten.
--- Armand Singer

Some people are totally right;
Pam Anderson Lee is a fright.
She is such a bitch,
A skank and a skitch,
Whose silicone pops out at night.
--- Crispy

Do you really mean to suggest
That the one called Jayne King has no chest?
That curvey young broad
Is naught but a fraud?
Well, come put my orbs to the test.
--- Jayne King

Will I test your orb? Of course, Jayne,
But which ones, you did not make plain.
Those orbs of great size
Or did you mean your eyes,
Which I've just noticed and are gray'n'.
--- Archie

That indeterminate strange hue;
Not green, nor yet grey, but on you
The mix I'm not minding.
It is spellbinding.
One more thing to fixate and view!
--- Archie

Mastectomy victim Maude Fritz,
Whose love life went down to the pits,
Prayed long and prayed hard
To Santa and God:
"For Christmas two silicone tits."
--- Armand E Singer 356

A petite young lady named Marge,
Said to the doc, "Make them large!"
The looks she then got
Were all bothered and hot,
And well worth the bucks she was charged.
--- Jim Hill

A wife, with not quite perfect bod,
Was eagerly given the nod
For large breast implant.
Said husband, "I can't
Envision this as a facade!"
--- Anon

This story concerns Mrs. Schmaltz,
Who shouldn't twirl fast in a waltz.
Whenever she does,
The room's soon abuzz;
Her titties pull loose, 'cause they're false.
--- Armand E Singer 760

Said a new young mother named Whipples,
"My brow's fraught with wrinkles and ripples.
I sense that I'm needing
To cancel breast feeding --
It hurts so when boiling the nipples!"
--- Anon

I was given a bottle at birth,
Which to some, might occasion their mirth;
But in truth it's the shits.
Being deprived of Mom's tits,
Has fostered diminished self worth.
--- Steve Andersen P0001

And left me profoundly obsessed
Devoting my life to the quest
Of a nipple to kiss
Which is more than just bliss
While I nuzzle and fondle the breast
--- Steve Andersen P0001

I once imbibed milk at O'Fallon's
Bordello from whores whose long talons
Would puncture the plugs
Upon their huge jugs,
And out flooded milk by the gallons!
--- Anon

The dairy bar waitress named Mary
Was all out of milk for young Harry.
So she stripped her brassiere
And said, "Harry, come here,
You can get it direct from the dairy."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1278

When asked what's my favourite tipple,
I have to admit it's the nipple.
Lactiferous cum
Just glides to my tum,
With never a splash or a ripple.
--- Anon


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