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There was a horny goat lived on a hill, Man's second best friend is the goat; He had multiple carnal contacts (efferent pathway into a constellation)
A geezer in Spain named El Cid I'd rather go down on my Granny! (Sudanese man forced to 'marry' a goat when caught fucking)
That wizened old Billy goat gruff Though we may be just slightly caprine, Mr Tombe shagged the goat, so he did Listen, Frieda von Barstuhl's the name, After Frieda sucked the goats meat There was an old maid in Nantucket, But my days as a homo barn vandal, So, since then it's been she-goats for me; A she-goat? Indeed, I might try it. A goat cunt would be lubed and wet, Whenever I'm there, doing IT, Dear Mikey, I fear that your haste Indeed, you have said it quite well, And when I'm coming in from the rear, I'm just saying this as a mate -- Old King Cole grew so tired of the moat, A manic-depressive named Sam Paulette loves to tickle the scrote As the rabbi was cutting the throat, The lady next door got the votes A man from the Sea of Okhotsk Smirked a horny young farmer named Moats, On the loose from a zoo, a male leopard There was a young man from Luanda; There once lived a bugger named Jack Soft tail, when accompanied by teeth, Or perhaps a taxidermist might A youth from the town Terre Haute There once was a young man called Potter, There was a young skunk name of Bart, There was a sad singer named Mick A moonshiner heisted his jug, There was a young woman called Manda, Though pandas do not like to screw A safari guide lost in Burundi Raccoons have paws just like hands, Raccoons have peculiar relations; I once lived in a posh condominium, Young Bambi ignored Faline's nips Old Bambi was down on his luck. The true ending to Bambi, it's said, A farmhand encountered a doe, This girl who is part of the show, An indian maid named Moon-deer, I'd like to have Santa for stew, The miners in northern Saskatchewan "Hey Ho! Kermit the zoo here, A caribou bull in the Arctic Two deer fell in love with each other; A whitetail surveying his harem A corrupted young ranger named Bruce There was a young lady named Nash; A stag ran his horns through a bush; A crazy old woodsman named Bruce, A man who liked to chew snoose, Last night after much apple juice, How horny can one person get? If you happen to fuck a small moose (cous-cous - steamed wheat or millet)
Where the Saskatchewan flows, an old moose A mule deer bent backwards to find "Why not?" said the perv with a grin.
So full of mischief, he let some spill.
He fast knocked Jack down
And broke the lad's crown,
But was a trite more attentive to Jill.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Though smelly, they have a nice coat.
And no man born scorns
Hanging on to their horns,
While pushing a dick down their throat.
--- David Miller
With an estrus-tormented hyrax.
This randy ibex
Had seething hot sex,
Turned her fornix into a fornax.
--- Jim Jambor P9103
Fell madly in love with a kid.
They had sex twice a day,
Till they took him away.
Fucking goats is a crime in Madrid.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0609
Than marry a goat for its fanny;
'Cause when you have kids,
It'd soon be on the skids,
Unless you could get a good nanny.
--- David Miller
Crossed his legs 'cause he'd had quite enough.
He said, "I'm no Nanny;
I don't have a fanny,
A quim or a twat or a muff!
--- oOOo
By percentage at least eighty nine,
In Sudan by and large
On a bestial charge,
Wed your goat and avoid doing time.
--- Donald McGill
And it cost him about 30 quid.
But the worst thing occurred
And it made him quite scared,
When he spotted young Billy, their kid!
--- David Miller
Of our fat babe of opera fame;
But she did some Deep Throat,
On an old English goat;
Now she can't hit "high C"; such a shame!
--- Anon
She slowly got to her feet
She cleared her throat
Could not sing a note
All she could do was bleat
--- Anon
Had an asshole as big as a bucket.
While bent over the oven,
A-dreamin' of lovin',
Her goat seized the moment to fuck it.
--- L1669z
Are finished since this goat named Randall;
While banging his clacker,
This knacker-on-knacker
Concussions are too hard to handle.
--- Loz
As I'm sure that you're able to see
My bag of white thunder
Is free to swing under
And through 'cause they're testicle-free!
--- Loz
Expanding one's sexual diet
Is essential to try
And 'cause horse-ass is dry;
They quickly get rectal disquiet.
--- Mikey
And in team with a hard-working sweat,
Whilst I'm pumping me plunger
Inside her tight sponger,
Her folds would be less prone to fret.
--- Mikey
I always like doing my bit.
However in this case,
I'd do an about face;
You won't find me lickin' her clit!
--- Mikey
To self-gratify's, sadly a waste.
A real man would snuffle
And lick at her truffle,
Regardless of how bad the taste.
--- Loz
The flavor is rather nouvell.
But after I blow,
I'd just have you know,
It's far less the taste than the smell.
--- Mikey
Although my reputation is dear,
There's much dirt and some poo;
I ain't lickin' a zoo!
It's the farm yard we're talkin' of here.
--- Mikey
If word gets around of this state
Of affairs: that you favor
A non-barnyard flavor,
They won't let you in the front gate.
--- Loz
Kept him from the women remote.
So he crept through the halls,
'Til he got to the stalls,
Where he tried all the sheep and one goat!
--- Anon
Got himself in a bit of a jam.
Last night on a high,
He really did try
To impregnate six goats and a lamb.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Of a goat when his choat's down her throat.
She wants to suck seed
Like a budgie on speed,
At her very own table d'hote.
--- Anon
Of the annual tribal scapegoat,
Said the beast, "I will cite you
As a sodomite! You
Forget what we did on the boat!"
--- L0655
Of a family of goatherds named Coates.
For she fucked with them all,
The great grandfather tall,
And the father, the son and the goats.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0372
Once mention a fact, and I quotsk:
"A woman is fine,
And a llama divine,
But neither's as tight as a goatsk."
--- Peter Wilkins
Who was found in a barn humping goats,
Knee deep in the grain,
And feeling no pain:
"Well it's one way to sow my wild oats!"
--- Armand E Singer 125
Tried to mate with a cute German Shepherd.
The difference in size
Made him come 'twixt her thighs,
And with semen she was thoroughly peppered.
--- Actaeon
"Sex all day, any way" was his mantra.
He lives by it too;
As he works in a zoo.
He's great choice, but he still likes the panda.
--- Robert Elliot
Who shoved a small mink up his crack.
He loved the full feeling,
And, too, when a-kneeling,
The thrash of soft tail on his sac.
--- H Welchel
Doesn't make for the simplest relief --
He's risking his prost-
Ate, his balls could be lost,
He could lose his entire underneath.
--- Lucy
Prepare one that couldn't show fight!
Something with heat,
With mechanical beat,
And a battery to last through the night.
--- Lucy
Fell madly in love with a stoat,
But had cause for regret,
When he tried on his pet
Some tricks he'd observed in "Deep Throat."
--- Hugh Oliver A048A
This is file nyk
Whose girlfriend resembled an otter.
About three feet long,
Smooth brown fur, fairly stong:
No one quite liked to ask where he'd got her.
--- Michael Palin
Who had frequent affairs of the heart;
Alas, he went blind,
And what did he find?
He'd fallen in love with a fart.
--- Ed Potts P8511A
Whose penis was but a mere stick.
But then he proceeded
To find what he needed:
A skunk who required a small prick.
--- G1280
And as the mule flowed in his mug,
He cried. "When I'm drunk,
I'll diddle a skunk!"
And he gave his fat pet one a hug.
--- Grand Prix Lim 503
Who went on a trip to Uganda.
She looked for a mate;
No guys there to date,
So she had to make do with a panda.
--- Gaz Perch
And a panda's orgasms are few,
The vet makes them come,
Using fingers and thumb,
And sprays the whole zoo with their goo.
--- Michael Horgan
Was raped by a large coatimundi.
At first he was shocked,
But after they'd talked,
He agreed to come back every Sunday.
--- Actaeon
And dexterity at their command.
They pull their cocks out
And massage them about,
And find masturbation is grand!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
His forelegs make quick palpations.
The masked little bandit
Grabs hold as he's planned it,
And gives his wife's hips good vibrations.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With raccoons, cats and other verminium.
Each night -- what a din
As they screwed on the tin!
Or perhaps it was plain aluminium.
--- Joyce L Owen
Till she took his soft sheath in her lips.
As she started to lick
He got really thick,
And he fill her way back to the hips
--- Actaeon
In fact, he was just a bit stuck,
And he fawned, don't you know,
For he owed lots of doe.
He'd do anything for a buck.
--- John Dohner P8805
Is he got horny, and out of his head.
With his ramrod-hard pumper,
Just about to fuck Thumper,
A hunter shot his silly ass dead!
--- John Chastaine
Who lifted her tail for a show.
He gave the doe pleasure,
And then for good measure,
Blew the buck who'd been watching them go.
--- Actaeon
Had a twin sister you know.
I admit she is weird,
She'd not like Santa's beard,
She's up top giving Rudolph a blow.
--- Faerie
Said, "I'll never feel rested, I fear.
Though I long for seclusion,
There's always intrusion.
I'm afraid the buck always stops here."
--- Isaac Asimov
With a nice elvish side dish or two.
But the best Xmas feeling
Is rocking and reeling,
Whilst buggering a reindeer with you.
--- Cyber Wizard
Are complaining that all the good snatch is gone.
They say caribou
Make a pretty good screw,
But they run so damn fast, you can't catch you one!
--- Phred
With advice for the zoophile New Year.
You should firmly resolve
To never dissolve
Your relationship with caribou, dear."
--- Actaeon
Grew horny and showed quite a hardick.
With no cows around,
He eventually found
Screwing musk oxen proved quite cathartic.
--- Actaeon
Their passions their reason would smother.
Their lust was quite bold,
She young and he old,
Unaware they were sister and brother.
--- Actaeon
Decided for fun just to scare 'em.
He dressed as a doe
And mounted them so,
And to his surprise, they would bear him.
--- Actaeon
Came up with a certain excuse,
That he wasn't the creep
Screwing farmer Brown's sheep,
For he only poked cattle and moose.
--- Cap'n Bean P0209
It seems that she was somewhat rash.
She played games fast and loose
With the Elk and the Moose.
They picked up what was left in the trash.
--- Albin Chaplin
And out his penis did push.
He waved it about
Till his urine flowed out,
Which is why the grass looks so lush.
--- Actaeon
Whose screws were a little bit loose,
Said, "The gals are okay,
But if given my way,
I'd prefer buggering a moose."
--- Cap'n Bean P0209
Made improper advance towards a moose.
It gored him and kicked him,
Then mounted and dicked him,
Knocking his testicles loose.
--- Pat McGregor
I went and had sex with a moose.
Alas, I was caught;
Now I'll end up in court,
Charged with elk-aholic abuse.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A moose? That's the worst one yet!
I've said it before,
But I'll say it once more:
Animals are only to PET!
--- Kaylin Brandon
When his bowels are just a bit loose,
I suggest this, my dear,
That you use the right ear,
For the rear end is just like cous-cous.
--- Clifford M Christ P8407
Saw a squaw with her brand new papoose,
And thought, "Can it be
They cohabit like me?
But why ain't it MOOSE they produce?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 0003 P9704
A doe with a blow job in mind.
He let her proceed
Till he spilt his seed,
Then returned the doe's favor in kind.
--- Actaeon
"This doe had a fawn deep within,
Which continues to quiver
Right there with her liver.
To waste it, would be such a sin.
--- John Miller
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