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The she-camel wept copiously There was a young priest in Algiers, "I'll hump," said a sheik named Algore, A camel I met at the zoo There once was a man from Osaka, A seasoned old hooker named Mary There once was a sheik from Dubai, Across burning sands camels pack-- An inveterate smoker named Hamal (Camel cigarettes)
The sand dunes, on nights fine and clear, On a night when the full moon is gleamin', Camels, I'm told, are the pits A man renting camels relates, On a night when the full moon is gleamin' I went up to pet a young llama, A silly New-Ager assumed she'd want If you want to make love to a camel, A promiscuous person named Willy, I would not revise or else trammel, The Saudi Arabian prince, I would not make love with the camels; Evita, the Argentine farmers' There was a poll-taker named West, Affirmed a young cockster named Trilling, My sweet old hound that I've pursued A Belgian that unnamed shall stay, Young Jimmy is havin' a tup; A horny old dog breeder Dan, In England, my sister's dog Rover For Bowser, a lady named Joan In public a rakehell named Slaughter A dog-loving lady named Glass, There was a young fellow named Radwan My German Shepherd had no clue, They say that they love me and yet, "You're about to debollix my poochy -- When I see a dog chew his own bone, A descendant of old Edward Lear My lover, when mounting me, slipped; I hopped on old Fido last night A dog that could speak, once began I asked my sweet doggie today, "Damn it!", I said in a snit, "Oh Susan! You sound just divine. There was a young woman, a writer, (feminine blighter) It seems a lewd lady named Hines My lover, while mounting me, slipped Ms Pamela Anderson Lee I'm a good pup and know a few tricks, There's more than one "pet way", you'll find, In bed climbed the dog of Miss Grogg; Dogs are man's best friend in life, There's a gent in our town, I do fear; A girl took her dog into bed There once was a man from Corfu, A dog, busy licking his crotch, The dog on her back on the floor, Sleeping Beauty, that bitch, The hobby of Horace McDuck -- A real clever fellow was Bright -- Having satisfied that primal itch, Copulating with canines, a must; My dog was found humpng his mother, There once was a boy called Lee, A rapist attacked spinster Fogg A police woman driving in Dover There one was a young man named Mitch
For her back was as flat as could be.
Sobbed she, "It's discouragin'
Remaining a virgin!
I've never been humped, as you see."
--- Jim Menger P9207
Who buggers his camels left ears.
He says with a grin
"I know it's a sin,
But from AIDS, you see I have no fears."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"My camel inside this feed store."
But the camel, named Betty,
Had two humps already
And she wasn't having no more.
--- Michael Weinstein P8407
Agreed to my invite for two.
She asked me to tea
And looked coyly at me,
Asking, "Will that be one hump or two?"
--- Peter Wilkins
Who decided to shag his alpaca.
He started amoral;
When he tried to go oral,
The creature bit off his left knacker.
--- Robert Elliot
Had sex with a male dromedary,
When paid by some clients,
Who called their act "science",
She said, "Who cares, if it's pecuniary."
--- Anon
Thought he'd give his camel a try.
A cantankerous mammal,
No way that that camel
Would kneel. So the prize was too high.
--- Annie Jay
These strange "ships of the desert" will track.
They have been rightly billed
For they often are filled
With semen, they say, from Iraq.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9206A
Was asked had he sampled a Camel.
He replied that he had
And it wasn't too bad,
But the sheep was a much better mammal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1145
Are ideal for love, as you'll hear.
'Twas there I met Sarah
Out in the Sahara,
The best camel I've screwed all year.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Over the sand, you can hear the mad screamin'
Of the camels being balled.
"Ships of the Desert," they're called,
'Cause they're full of Arabian semen.
--- HHMWV
For sex 'cause she's dry where she sits;
Split lips are no go
If you're liking a blow,
And the bitch never swallows, just spits.
--- John Miller
"Some Arabs are seeking rebates.
If my wares they eschew,
Then what can they do?
I'll bet they're just eating their dates!"
--- John Miller
O'er the sands, you can hear the mad screamin'
Of the camels being balled.
"Ships of desert," they're called,
'Cause they're full of Arabian semen.
--- Anon
Not knowing 'twould end in such drama.
She wanted to mate,
Her estrus was great...
Of a hybrid she'll soon be the mama.
--- Ogni Gioia
To find her a lama with whom to chant.
But a spelling mistake
Led to heartbreak
And a tryst with a wooly-haired ruminant.
--- Don Moore P9011
Avoiding both trouble and trammel,
Do not be concerned
If at first you are spurned;
If the Mister won't, surely the Ma'am'll.
--- Norm Storer
Had a dong that was simply a dilly.
He would take on all mammals
Was partial to camels,
But they never could tolerate Willy.
--- L0661
Your tale of the maid and hoofed mammal.
She liked to get paid,
No matter who laid,
But said she'd "walk a mile for a camel."
--- Chris Papa
Ali Ben Eer Before, ever since
He was screwed in his flannels
By herds of wild camels,
Walks round with a smile and a mince.
--- Peter Wilkins
They are not polite like most mammals.
They spit in your face
And, in any case,
They don't say thank you; they're wham-bammels.
--- Anon
Wife, normally sleeps in pyjamas;
But when he is away,
She strips off for a day,
Of licentious indulgence with llamas.
--- Peter Wilkins
The preference for Camels did test.
Of ten doctors who tried,
There were nine satisfied,
But one still felt women were best.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1185
All sodomy's greatly fulfilling.
No migraines, infection,
Low blood count, dejection;
Old Fido's so ready and willing.
--- Armand Singer
Each evening, just came in and chewed
My limerick file,
And then with a smile,
She barked, saying: "Now who's been screwed?"
--- Anon
Has a Beastial set to his way.
His love for lost doggies,
Is one of his hobbies.
He also sells porn on E-bay.
--- Anon
He's stickin' it all the way up;
He likes 'em petite
But that's no way to treat
Such a beautiful pedigree pup.
--- Anon
Rammed his prick up his faithful dog's can,
Then he lay down serene,
While his tool was licked clean.
Surely dog is the best friend of man.
--- Albin Chaplin
Boffed her in a flat down near Dover;
And so much dog excrete
Has soaked into her sheet,
That it's gone now looking for ova.
--- David Miller
Bent over to pick up a bone.
But she met with disaster
For Bowser was faster,
And he had a big bone of his own.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1152
Was humping his girl (shouldn't oughter);
Several oglers cried, "Shame,
You give dogs a bad name,"
And chucked a big bucket of water.
--- Armand Singer
Had a pooch that was really first class!
She'd trained him in a week
To sit, fetch, and speak,
And to bury his bone in her ass!
--- Cruelty Jones
Whose wife was a mean and a bad one.
He could stand all the slog,
Making love to a dog,
But he could not make love to a mad one.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1174
This is file ndk
That being balless meant no screw.
He still tried to jump
Any dog for a hump;
Just like some guys I once knew.
--- Carol
They're sending me off to the vet,
To chop off my bollocks,
Curtailing my frolics,
I've had with their daughter, Annette.
--- Peter Wilkins
Now he'll get no more hoochy nor coochy",
Blubbered Annette,
While petting the vet.
"Can we sell off the snippings to Gucci?"
--- Brian
You can bet I will leave him alone.
He's probably sick;
He might go for my prick,
When he's finally done with his own.
--- John Miller
Once tattooed a cat on her rear...
When she laid her dog Towser
He fanged at the mouser,
And bit of the rear of Miss Lear.
--- Grand Prix Lim 848
He scrabbled and grasped for a grip.
And thence knowest I
One more reason why
Those dew claws have got to be clipped.
--- Lassie's Lover TP9804
No headache, no grumbling, no fight;
Just suppliant action,
And warm satisfaction;
An evening of perfect delight.
--- Armand Singer
To stay from his home for a span.
Said his trainer, irate,
"Tell me why are you late?"
Said the dog, "I've been fucking the man."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1120
If he would like to give me a lay.
"Sorry, my bump;
Can't give you a hump.
You see, I'm decidedly gay!"
--- John Miller
"What good's a puss and a tit?
It looks like I must
Deal with my lust
With whatever else I will fit!"
--- John Miller
But your dog is a bit of a swine.
I think that your lust
Will just have to adjust;
Do you think you could fit around mine?"
--- John Miller
Who trained her pet dog to delight her.
She'd suck and she'd lick (She would cream her own pool)
At his lengthening prick, (While she sucked off his tool)
Then his cock in her cunt would excite her.
--- G1204
Loves to fuck all the larger canines.
It's a manlike sensation
Without procreation,
Which fits in with her feelthy designs.
--- G1253
And left me feeling quite gypped.
He landed instead
On the dog by the bed,
And decided he'd rather fuck "Kip".
--- Anon
Was the name of a bitch by the sea.
She would get into trouble,
With dogs on the double,
For they knew that she was for free!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Like fetching a couple of sticks.
Can sit up and beg,
Won't pee on your leg,
And might give your dick a few licks.
--- Anon
If you're laid back and open your mind.
With the help of a vet,
I'll bet you can get
Your poodle from front or behind.
--- John Miller
This put her young man in a fog.
When he said to her, "Darling,
Just why are you snarling?"
She said, "Why are you fucking the dog?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1143
But surely it must cause a great strife,
And a shock to the mind,
To come home and find
That your "best friend" is fucking your wife!
--- Kaylin Brandon
Has a fetish for doggies, I hear.
He's dropping his trousers
For all kinds of bowsers,
All female, of course! He's not queer!
--- Allen Wolverton
And proceeded to give him good head.
Said the lass: "I've a thought--
Why don't we tie the knot?"
But the pun irked the dog, so he fled.
--- Actaeon
Who liked to give bitches a screw.
After every good fuck,
He paid her a buck
And for buying her pups, he paid two.
--- Anon
Thought to himself, "What a botch!
I keep showing my owner
How to handle my boner,
But he'd just rather sit there and watch!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
My whacker shoved into the core.
Like glue, Wrigley's gum,
It's tight as a drum;
Oh what is a true heaven for?
--- Armand Singer
Woke up with a vaginal itch.
While sleeping around,
She'd make love to a hound,
And woke up with the mutt in a ditch!
--- Pretty Grimm
Unsticking two dogs that are stuck.
To do this you need
Exceptional speed,
Two dogs in the road, and a truck.
--- Irving Superior P8708
He did almost everything right:
With dances, finances,
Or canine romances,
To see him hump dogs was a sight.
--- Armand E Singer 804
My leg began to jump and twitch.
Much to my chagrin,
My dog was fucking my shin
For so long, I presumed it a bitch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Fornicating with Fido my lust.
Our motto is clear;
Something I hold dear.
Simply put, "In Dog we Thrust".
--- Anon
Thus his son was also his brother.
So don't tell me you feel
Mother Nature's genteel,
With canine incest to discover.
--- Bob Mornington
Who practised bestiality.
He found a nice dog;,
Went in for the snog.,
'Twas the sole way he could get sex free.
--- Anon
Who was taking her dog for a jog.
She was left with disgust,
For this man filled with lust,
For it seems he fucked only her dog.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1136
Gazed coyly one night at her Rover.
She parked near the track,
Then climbed in the back,
And her big K-9 unit took over.
--- Actaeon
Who decided the Forest was his niche.
So he took his dog home
And gave her his bone,
Saying, "Don't you know life is a bitch!"
--- Toccatta
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