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A musher from upper Sandusky, There was a lad from Sandusky, A lonely old trapper named Goggs Took my Lab to the vet, Dr Reeve. There once was a fellow named Tab, There's only just one thing more scary, The best thing about malamutes Suzie preferred canine action: I once knew a girl, A go-getter, No fellow could fuck with Miss Bright, There once was a Duchess of Beaver, A beautiful Golden Retriever There was a young lady of Deever A runner who was quite a miler They tell of a woman named Hauser Joy's husband, right after he plows her, An old lady's pet Giant Schnauzer There was a dog lover named Towser My neighbor's old Spaniel called Sparks, A heterosexual male A heterosexual male A heterosexual male A heterosexual male A heterosexual male My preference (don't think me a sorehead) I once took a sheep dog to bed; There once was a woman named Red, The police dog of Officer Cotter There was a young fellow named Quinn, There was a young girl from Ionic When asked to confess to his sin, There was a young lady named Hensley I'm seeking a gal with big tits, A man feeling cold in Spenard, A mongrel was looking quite glum; An urbane springer spaniel named Billy From the Kremlin, the rumors took wings; It seems that our neighbor, Miss Gray, There was a young girl from Dubal It's dollars to doughnuts, that Dolly, A girl known as Molly O'Maddy I think Lassie's lover has gone; I tell you, I'm lucky, my chums; Lassie is really a male. Since porno is no longer sin Due to her prior night's folly, Sorry Lassie, I must now tell my tale; A very low dachshund named Wally I advise Lassie's Lover take note A misadvised dotard from Raleigh Shy Sherman the Shepherd is sad Now, Lassie, you know, was a he, I realized Love was a folly; Lassie's Lover, I thought I was bad, "Mounting canines may seem quite un-classy Once a Chihuahua and Great Dane, There once was a Polack named Wayne, To the poundkeeper said Shiela Lane, Cried a hopeless young nympho in Spain, The anger of Dribblecock Frouse A harried old hooker named Hicks A dog screwed a lady named Madder There once was a poodle named Dot, Said the toy poodle to the Great Dane, A somnolent damsel in Ewing A Shar-pei with the mange may feel good, I've just had a fling with Lorraine;
Came on to me, avid and musky.
For a girl, she was cute,
But I gave her the boot.
I'd rather curl up with her Husky.
--- Lassie's Lover TP9804
Who wanted to mate with his Husky.
"But because she's Siberian,
Our goodbye was a teary one,
'Cause my daddy won't harbor a Rusky!"
--- Actaeon
Would hunt in the muskeg and bogs.
He had huskies and sled
But no woman to wed,
And in time this man went to the dogs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8307
He said "Castration's the cure, I believe."
I looked at Rover,
Who said, "Think it over.
There are some balls I just can't retrieve."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They caught him in bed with a Lab,
They thought it disgusting,
After a canine he was lusting,
But think of the puppies they had.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Than a woman who's overall hairy.
You wake up in the night,
'Cause you've had such a fright;
You've just screwed your Labrador Larry.
--- Dudeshead
Is their ever-inquisitive snoots.
They're cold and they're wet,
But you never forget
How it feels when they nuzzle your root.
--- Lassie's Lover TP9804
Dachshunds for sure-clitted traction,
But a Mastiff's long tongue
Proved a G-spotting bung,
Sue's labia-lapping distraction.
--- Anon
Who bought an enormous red setter,
Which licked her left tit,
Then nuzzled her slit
Till she couldn't say stop. Then it et her.
--- Michael Horgan
For it seems that her cunt was too tight.
So she called her retriever,
Who sniffed up her beaver,
And he licked on her pussy all night.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1123
Who slept with her golden retriever.
Said the choleric Duke,
"These girls make me puke--
And but for the dog I would leave her."
--- G1186
Asked a zooman if he would relieve her.
He fingered her cunt,
And she let out a grunt,
Which turned on the dog's ham receiver.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who doted upon her retriever.
In her manner sardonic
She said 'twas Platonic,
But not one of her friends would believe her.
--- Albin Chaplin
Vowed nothing would ever defile her.
She was then offended,
Virginity ended;
Grabbed by a speedy rottweiler!
--- CM
Who didn't need much to arouse her.
At the sight of some man
Simply getting a tan,
She up and attacked her pet schnauzer.
--- Armand E Singer 320
Jumps up and says stuff that just wows her;
Like: "I'd like to watch
Our friend lick your crotch!"
So she whistles for Snoopy their schnauzer.
--- Travis Brasell
Has a penis as big as a Mauser.
When she bends down to pull it,
It shoots white hot bullets,
And the taste of his ammo sure wows her.
--- Actaeon
Whose girl was a charming arouser.
When she asked him to state
What he liked on their date,
He said what he liked, was her schnauzer.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0358
Lurks in bushes and hedges and parks,
Where inflamed and impassioned
With Bertie the Daschund,
He scratches his bollocks and barks.
--- Peter Wilkins
Found a female he wished to impale.
But the female had fleas,
(She's a small Pekinese);
Now he scratches his crotch while in jail.
--- Twisted Lims P0512Q
Found a female he wished to impale
But the female was with crab
(She's a small Golden Lab)
Now he scratches his crotch while in jail.
--- Arthur Deex P0512Q
Found a female he wished to impale
But the female had lice
(She's Alaskan Klee Kais)
Now he scratches his crotch while in jail.
--- Arthur Deex P0512Q
Found a female he wished to impale
But she had an itch
(The Saint Bernard bitch)
Now he scratches his crotch while in jail.
--- Arthur Deex P0512Q
Found a female he wished to impale
But she had a cootie
(That Shih Tzu cutie)
Now he scratches his crotch while in jail.
--- Arthur Deex P0512Q
Still leans toward canine and purebred.
I wouldn't exchange
One Shar-Pei with mange,
For all the bears in your bed.
--- Anon
Fabulous sex, someone said.
And try as I might,
That bastard would bite;
All I got was a pat on the head.
--- Anon
Whose dog followed her into bed.
She didn't want to be peppered
By the load from her shepherd,
So she gave him a blowjob instead.
--- J Fitts
Was trained as a copulate spotter.
He would sniff with cognition
An illicit coition,
And would douse it with buckets of water.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2956
Who was living a bad life of sin.
Not Murray or Lassie
Could grease up his chassis,
He much preferred Rin Tin Tin!
--- Anon
Who maintained a friendship Platonic.
She went out with Emanuel,
But was had by his spaniel,
This experience was quaintly ironic.
--- Albin Chaplin
The lover of spaniels did grin.
"If it weren't for my Brittany,
I just wouldn't get any,
And her coat is much softer than skin.
--- Actaeon
Who put on a smoker intensely;
What she did was a shocker
With her cute little cocker,
Who appeared to enjoy it immensely.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1149
And false teeth with hairy armpits.
Her burdensome job
Is gobbing my knob,
While mounted behind by my Spitz.
--- SFA
This is file nbk
Made love to his huge St. Bernard.
When he entered her ass,
She released lots of gas;
He was hoist on his lovers petard.
--- Actaeon
Did not know his dad or his mum.
A Saint Bernard beauty
Came along, did her duty;
He burped and said "Thanks for the rum!"
--- Anon
Wooed a slinky saluki in Philly.
But she sprang at the chance
Of a swift spring romance,
And a sheep dog won out willy-nilly.
--- Gail Koontz
Their wolfhound were fellating the kings.
It caused an uprising,
But that's hardly surprising,
Since Russia's quite used to such things.
--- Actaeon
Has odd sex desires, so they say.
She delights in her folly
With a pedigreed collie,
And each year gives a litter away.
--- G1218
Who went to a masquerade ball.
She commited a folly
To dress like a collie;.
She was had by a dog in the hall.
--- Albin Chaplin
Will someday regret her low folly.
This nympho craves men,
But is known, now and then,
To borrow the neighbor's big collie.
--- Grand Prix Lim 587 G1225
Was dicking her collie beau, Laddie.
But after she came,
She said, "I'm ashamed!
To think that a Scot has so had me."
--- Lassie's Lover TP9804
She's bitching that she's getting none.
With Balto away
And no sign of a stray,
She hopes that the cat has a dong.
--- Big Bob TP9807
My Lassie's a plum among plums.
The best of her tricks
Goes beyond fetching sticks;
When I ball -- I mean CALL -- her, she comes!
--- Anon
What an exciting tale!
When with a collie,
It can be folly
To find an opening to nail.
--- Anon
In Denmark, their movies are in.
They will make one, first class,
Where a man licks dogs ass,
And where Lassie will fuck Rin Tin Tin.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2303
A student at college was jolly.
She'd spied the school's mascot,
Doffed cap, gown, and ascot,
And was seized by a Carnegie-Mellon collie.
--- Actaeon
'Twas a white lie, so your ass I could nail.
But it was not a fib,
That I can not have kids;
Of course I can't, bitch, I'm a male!
--- Anon
Fell in love with an over-sized Collie.
Though his passions grew madder,
The story turned sadder,
For his dogged attempts were sheer folly.
--- John P8307
Of the Dog Breeders Handbook; I quote:
"You should muzzle dog's jaws,
When you mate them because
If frustrated, they'll go for the throat."
--- Anon
Tried sticking his prick in a collie.
The doggie surprised him,
In fact, circumcised him;
Consensus: an old lecher's folly.
--- Armand Singer
'Cause his sweetheart has died and the lad
Can't find 'mongst his flock
Another his cock
Suits like Lassie, the dog that he had.
--- John Miller
But you can't tell the he from the she,
When shaggy and thick
Hair hangs down past the dick,
So his gender is not there to see.
--- John Miller
Lost Holly and Polly and Dolly.
Now I live a great life
'Cause I have a fine wife.
I married my cute border collie.
--- Anon
With all of the bitches I've had.
But I just don't know how
You could screw with a cow;
So I'm going to tell Lassie, you cad!
--- Anon
When the option's a feminine chassis,
But I'd trade," exclaimed Wally,
"My gal for a collie."
Well, they say every lad needs his Lassie.
--- Rowdy Jack
By mistake together were lain.
Great Dane jumped upon her,
Pledging friendship and honor
But Chihuahua she died of the pain.
--- Chairman Steve
Who dated a girl from Tulane.
When she said her passion
Was going dog-fashion.
He went out and bought a Great Dane.
--- David Miller P8208
"Your suggestion, you jerk, I would fain...
I view sexual connection
With delight and affection
With a man, Sir, but not a Great Dane!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 511
Who nightly took on a Great Dane:
"Caramba! senor,
I am just a dog whore,
So what is the use to complain?"
--- G1327
We excuse, for he found in the house,
A Great Dane astride
His lovely young bride,
Who cried, "Fuck you, Frouse!" to her spouse.
--- G1241
Remarked of the guys in the sticks:
"They give me arse pains,
For they bring in Great Danes
And watch 'em dog fuck me for kicks!
--- G1803
Who stooped as she worked near a ladder.
'Twas the neighbor's Great Dane
But her search was in vain,
For a hair of the dog that just had her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1161
In love with a Great Dane named Spot.
When she saw Spot's erection,
She said, with dejection,
"This Dane ain't as great as I thought."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Your altitude I'd never gain!
But your scent in full heat
Is a sweet, sexy treat,
So don't think, my dear, I complain."
--- Grand Prix Lim 258
Dreamed her Great Dane was on her and screwing.
She awoke and discovered
The beast had her covered,
And her asshole was plastered with blueing!
--- G1232
To a puppy who would be a stud.
But if you want to profess
Your animal prowess,
Try a Great Dane, that should strain your manhood!
--- Anon
I found her much tighter than Jane.
This sure was a tease,
The I realized that she's
A poodle and not a great dane.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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